Tuesday, July 25, 2006

The Applicability of Bitachon in Money and Marriage

Glossary (loosely translated): Shidduchim - Matchmaking; Bitachon - Trust [in God]; Middos - Character traits.

In the comments to the last post, Sephardi Lady left a great, and interesting, comment:
When financial issues are addressed, the chorus is "bitachon, bitachon, bitachon."

I wish that the same chorus could be heard regarding shidduchim: have some bitachon. There is a match out there for each person, even if the person faced unusual challenges, even if the person didn't go to the "right" schools, even if the families didn't do the "right" things.

The right shidduch might not come with the "proper" yichus and the proper family. The right shidduch might not come in the right shell. The right shidduch might not come from the right money. But, ultimately, the right shidduch is the right shidduch (even if that spouse shows up late).

So, seek the help you need and (when it comes to criminal acts like molestation) remember that others need protected too, and that your good name is not the only name needing protection.
First of all, that comment sums up the last post perfectly. But more importantly for this post, as I was thinking about this comment, a troubling thought came to mind: Why is it that this is? Why are people so intent on doing every possible thing within their power - to the point of ridiculousness - when it comes to shidduchim, but when it comes to earning a living, people say "bitachon" again and again? Are some people just using bitachon as a convenient cop-out answer when they simply don't have a plan, or don't want to work?

Normally, I would hesitate to ask such a question, but the shidduchim aspect shines a light right on the situation. If people truly felt that a certain level of bitachon is necessary in life, they wouldn't allow all the inanities affect how they approach shidduchim. Being a good person with proper middos who works to the best of their abilities would be more than enough, especially if one has even a small amount of bitachon.

It seems as if the bitachon people have is either lacking or misplaced.