Until May 22, 2006, when an angst-ridden, bewildered young BA left her big home country, which she loved as tenderly and certainly as she loved her parents and fled into the arms of her little home, with the passion not of a daughter, but of a bride. And it was a match made in Heaven. What can I say. I'm incredibly, incredibly grateful for the chance that I got... I didn't want to leave. Would you believe it! I didn't want to leave! ... My eyes were wide open. But I didn't want to leave, and still, after I have left, I long to go back, won't have peace until I do. I can't stress enough how much I've learned about myself from this journey.
Yes, it was a real journey, not just a trip. I... It *clicked* right away, if you know what I mean? Look, you don't believe me... but having never been to the country, from the moment I saw its landscapes from the window of the airplane, I felt as if I were *coming back* to the abode I once knew, rather than visiting a completely new place. Everything was SO familiar. The whole country was a MEMORY, not a discovery. I can't explain it; it's simply fantastic... The only thing I can say is it felt RIGHT. So right, that it couldn't POSSIBLY be wrong.
Two weeks was not enough. Two weeks was not NEARLY enough. But there was no need for a vow that I'd be back. There's simply no question about it. None. And there's no question about what direction my entire life will be moving in from now on. Or, who knows, perhaps it was to begin with and I'm simply just beginning to understand. On the way to the airport, I knew one thing - that I was now living in a schizophrenic state of mind. Two realities...
I don't know what to do. But this trip was a glimpse of the future. And the future looks good.
Wednesday, April 18, 2007
Post of the Year?
I was discussing something with a friend tonight, and one of my favorite posts by anyone this past year clicked in my head once again. I think there's something about this post that so many of us can relate to. Excerpts: