Friday, November 03, 2006

Nobody's Perfect

...and people need to realize that. The common thread between the two discussions that have been happening on this blog [shidduchim (matchmaking) and EDs (emotional disorders)] is that in both cases, people expect some imaginary or perceived level of "perfection" that simply doesn't exist. In the case of shidduchim, many people - especially guys, from what I know - are looking for something that simply doesn't exist. They're looking for the "perfect" girl or guy, the one who does everything just so and looks that good and has the perfect personality and those skills.

With ED's, it's similar but obviously worse: Young people especially feel they need to be just so and look that good and have the perfect personality and those skills... and they're unable to understand how to deal with it in terms of themselves, and often do so in destructive fashion. While the person looking for a spouse simply needs to wake up to reality, a person with an ED has a much tougher time - first understanding, then dealing with the issue.

Pobody's Nerfect recommended three excellent videos. They're all very different, dealing with different aspects of the issue, and they're shorter than a couple of Borat skits, so take a look... [after the jump]





  1. The first video is actually a Dove commercial titled "Evolution". Dove, in their Campaign for Real Beauty, has started using REAL IMPERFECT WOMEN on their website, with no digital manipulation of the photos. WOW!

  2. you're right... no one is perfect. there is pressure on anyone out there to 'be' a certain way and that's hard for shidduchim and just in general.

    It seems, since not too long ago when I was in high school, that things have changed so much. That girls especially have such pressure from their peer groups and outside influences to be a certain way, to look just so, be thin etc. And this is before they even have to worry about shidduchim! There just seems to be such a difference now, such pressure that didn't seem to be as strong ten years ago. (Or maybe i just didn't feel that back when i was in school.) Of course, with dating, is a whole other kettle of fish!

    The Dove campaign using 'real' people is a start but it's still not enough to overpower the images of the famous people whose job it is to look 'un-real'.

  3. Sarah, if you have other ideas, send an email to Dove through their website. Maybe they'll listen to you!

    On their website, I found a page about celebrating "real curves". Six normally proportioned women have been chosen to participate in this ad campaign, and although they're still enough to make an obese woman jealous, they're not unusually thin! They look like me! If you mouseover each one, you can really see how their hips, etc are normally proportioned. I bet some of them wear size 12! Although I'd like to see a wider range represented, this is very refreshing to me.

    Warning: link not appropriate for morally conservative men.

  4. Here's another Dove page that shows a normal woman. This one might even wear plus-size clothes, but I can't tell. I think this page changes daily; yesterday it was a woman whose skin was thickly covered with freckles. If I see these models on a TV commercial, I'll be VERY EXCITED.

    This link is appropriate for men of my acquaintance, but the woman is definitely not tznius by Orthodox standards.

  5. I want my 16 year old daughter to see these powerful videos.

    I find it fascinating that even the models don't look like the models!
    Guys need to understand this just to alleviate some of the pressure off of the girls. (But girls still need to make an effort)