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Monday, May 19, 2008

Some Jews need help

Here's my response to this:

5 Shiurim @ 2 hours a piece = 10 Hours

10 or 20 Shekel X 5 Shiurim = 50 or 100 Shekel

Another way to spend 20 hours:

5 Minchas @ 15 minutes (say a nice long Shemona Esrei, ask Hashem for everything you need) a piece = 1.15 hours

8.45 hours @ a trained certified licensed therapist

50 or 100 shekel getting to and from the therapist.

A few things I've learned so far in life:

You can't be happy with God unless you're happy with yourself.

You can't be happy with yourself unless you know why you're not happy.

And you can't know why you're unhappy unless you know what's wrong with you.

Now let me clarify. I'm not by any means trying to be facetious. I honestly believe that trained and learned and up to date Psychologists/Psychiatrists do a lot better job figuring out what's wrong with us than we can. That's in fact exactly what they are trained to do. I don't get paid to figure out what's wrong with me. I get paid to be an accountant. If I have problems in my life that I can't figure out or I can't readily and easily solve in an every day sort of manner, I go to a shrink, and they tell me what's wrong with me.

And then once I figure out what's wrong with me, and I work on it, and I feel better, then I can go work on my relationship with God and tikkun and my yiddishkeit and my emunah and all that stuff. And where do I go to for that? Well first, the Big Man Himself (through prayer) and then this neat little book he gave us back on some mountain called the Torah. And I read all the wonderful seforim that his righteous disciples wrote up ('cuz that's what they get paid to do) specifically for people like me who have trouble in those areas that I just mentioned.

I'm not saying it's all black and white and I'm not saying it's this simple. But I am asking who is this woman to go preach a method of overcoming serious trauma and getting closer to Hashem when it seems as if she's qualified in neither of the above.

It's great if it works for you or for them or for some people. That's all fine and good. Well you know what, I got something else you may want to try. His name was Jesus Christ. All you have to do is believe that he was your lord and savior and that he died for your sins, and your entire life will change. That belief alone will promise you a great many blessings and grant you wonderful mental and spiritual security. It in fact will guarantee your safe passageway to heaven. And it's as simple as believing. That's all I ask is that you believe and put 10 shekel in this jar.

HA!

I just made you a Christian.

11 comments:

  1. "5 Shiurim @ 2 hours a piece = 20 Hours"
    I think you need some help with your math. :)

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  2. I'm sorry...did someone say religious cult!!!

    [Sounds of Basketball being shot around]
    [Sandler:] "Hey man, I'm joining a religious cult."
    [Allen:] "Now, that's ridiculous."
    [Sandler:] "Well, I'm joining it, so you gotta sign up too."
    [Allen:] "What are you talking about?"
    [Sandler:] "Hey, don't mess me up on this, man, just sign up."
    [Allen:] "No, I'm not going to join a cult!"
    [Sandler:] "I can't believe you're pulling this on me after Monday night --"
    [Allen:] "What?
    [Sandler:] "-- I wanted to watch Monday Night Football
    and you wanted to watch that other show and we watched your show --
    I did that for you!"
    [Allen:] "Yeah, well, you kept flippin' back to the game."
    [Sandler:] "I WANTED TO SEE THE DAMN SCORE!
    Whadda you gotta do that's so important you can't join the religious cult with me?"
    [Allen:] "Well, I was gonna go sunbathing."
    [Sandler:] "Oh, boy, no no, I don't think you should do that.
    Because this guy, Russell -- he's the leader-guy of the cult --"
    [Allen:] "-- yeah --"
    [Sandler:] "-- he was rambling on during one of the speeches
    about the sun being bad, like the beast can't come out
    because the sun's too bright and the sun hurts his eyes or something --
    you show up all sunburned and that guy's gonna get pissed at you and me!"
    [Allen:] "Well, I'm not in the cult, so I don't have to worry about pissing the leader guy off!"
    [Sandler:] "Look, I'm -- starting to believe in some of the stuff the cult guy's been saying --
    some of it makes a lot of sense!
    [Allen:] "Well, good, but I don't want to join the cult.
    We can still hang out; I just won't be in it with you."
    [Sandler:] "The point is, I'm not gonna have time to hang out with you because I'm gonna be busy with this cult!"
    [Allen:] "So I'll visit on weekends -- we'll work it out."
    [Sandler:] "No, the weekends are like the busiest time --
    that's when we go to flea markets and malls and talk people into joining, man!"
    [Allen:] "Can I join for just a little while?
    I told my dad I'd go visit him in Florida in three weeks."
    [Sandler:] "Well, just, we'll ask then, but we gotta join now."
    [Allen:] "What's the hurry?"
    [Sandler:] "THERE'S A GIRL I WANNA MEET THERE, what the hell's your problem?!"
    [Allen:] "Well, I mean I don't really have to believe in this stuff, do I?"
    [Sandler:] "No, no, just tell everybody you believe in this stuff -- when they say the sun sucks, go,
    "Yeah, forget the sun, I hate it too, long live the beast."
    [Allen:] "I don't know, man. This is crazy."
    [Sandler:] "Look, they're gonna give you clothers, a free haircut, you're gonna get food --"
    [Allen:] "-- it's not gonna be one of those weird haircuts, is it?"
    [Sandler:] "It's gonna be a haircut, all right?
    You said you need a haircut, they're gonna cut your hair.
    You're going in, saving twelve bucks, just do it!"
    [Allen:] "Do you think the hot girl has a friend for me?"
    [Sandler:] "Yeah, sure, and if she doesn't, she'll go out and recruit one for you!"
    [Allen:] "Well, all right. But, hey, if I don't like it, I'm going to escape, man."
    [Sandler:] "OK, that's up to you."

    [Three weeks later!]

    [Chanting repeatedly] "The night time is the right time!
    The night time is the right time!"
    [Sandler:] "Hey buddy, are you glad you did this?"
    [Allen:] "Oh, this is the best thing I ever did. Thank you."
    [Sandler:] "You're not mad at them making you, uh, kill your father, are you?"
    [Allen:] "You know, it's like they said. It was the only way to save him."
    [Sandler:] "You're a good guy."
    [Allen:] "You're a better one."
    [Chanting resumes]

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  3. OMG! I cannot believe I screwed up the first line. That's what happens when I write at like 1am.

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  4. Am I the only person who is a tad confused by this post?

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  5. I actually like this post. I think. Except some of it makes me wonder a little.

    I think you're saying that someone with trauma should see a psychologist, not join some cult led by a lady who has absolutely no idea how to really deal with people who have trauma and who is actually robbing them of both their money and their sane lives.

    But then you compare it to Christianity and that's where I get a little confused. Do you think someone could call Judaism (or any religion) a cult the same way you seem to be calling Christianity one?

    I'm just a little confused at the end there.

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  6. The comparison to Christianity was to show that people want to believe in things. People want to believe in anything that will help them get through their problems.

    As Jews, we don't need to rely on and we certainly don't advocate random believing. If we consider ourselves religious Jews, then we should seek answers to our problems within the different areas of thought that have developed from the Torah throughout time. We have leaders that are trained in the Torah and know how to answer our questions of belief and practices. We should not need to look for answers to our religious problems outside of what's already in place, such as Rabbonim on the entire spectrum of hashkafic or political views. We should not need to turn to shady people who offer us false hope that doesn't come from an identifiable Torah source.

    And if we have psychologic issues, we should seek help for it through the proper means that have been proven effective, and on top of that, have also been approved by modern learned Rabbonim.

    Therapy is the right answer for emotional trauma, as far as I know. And as a Jew, the Torah is the proper source to find out how one can get closer to God.

    If one feels the need to look for help in these areas by other means, then it seems as though they may be approaching rocky terrain that more resembles religions other than our own.

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  7. Here's another little bit I added on to the comment that I left back on the MiI post. It just addresses some stuff that people wrote in the comments:

    And regarding saying your own Tefillot, I am not a halachic authority so I have no idea whether it's problematic or not. I'm more concerned with the fact that people don't find what they're looking for in the Tefillot that we have in place already. I know I was always taught and encouraged to speak to God freely and openly at the part of Shemona Esrei right before the end after you finish saying the Asei lemans and before you say Yihu Leratzon. Certain chassidim hold Hispodidus to be very important and that involves talking to God freely. I'm not concerned with people who do Hispodidus because I've been told by people a lot more knowledgable in Chasidus than me that the concept comes straight from R' Nachman's writings, and I don't think anyone would say that his writings aren't Torah and it follows what I mentioned above. Hispodidus comes from and follows a specific Torah view.

    Although it seems from what's been written in the comments that some Rabbonim actually did approve this woman's method in the beginning, who am I to argue. But based on the principles I just mentioned above that seem so clear to me, I just don't see the point in having to resort to a method that seems to have materialized out of the blue when there's so much tried and true help readily available to every Yid.

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  8. You had to have come of age during the 90s, when Adam Sandler was the definition of cutting-edge comedy.

    Yeah, it was a strange time.

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  9. Mordy - I really liked your answer.

    The comparison to Christianity was to show that people want to believe in things. People want to believe in anything that will help them get through their problems.

    This is so true. Isn't that also how so many people believed in false messiahs in the past (aside from Jesus), like Shabbtai Tzvi?

    Anyway, you make good points.

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  10. Also, G, I grew up in the 90s but I never really found Adam Sandler all that funny (I know - the horror!). I think I'm in the minority, though.

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