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Tuesday, May 06, 2008

This Is Israel

My good friend Shragi sent me this; it's very sharp, funny, and heart-pulling at the same time. Not sure when it was written... Enjoy!

This is the only country where the unemployed strike. This is the
only country where 60 year olds still hate their tiranut commander.
This is the only country that has 2 treasury ministers and neither of
them has a dime, a 101 year old establishes a political party, the
prime minister is not allowed to be the minister of defence. This is
the only country where the corporal's mother has the commander's
telephone number. This is the only country that has a communication
sattelite, but nobody lets you finish a sentence. This is the only
country where missiles from Iraq have exploded, catiushas from
Lebanon, suicide bombers from Gaza and rockets from Syria, and still a
3 room apartment costs more than in Paris.

This is the only country where female porn stars are being asked "what
does your mother say about it", soccer players come to the fields with
their daddy to shout at the coach, and on Friday night when going to
the parents you sit on exactly the same chair you were sitting on when
you were five.

This is the only country where an Israeli meal is made from an Arab
salad, Romanian kebab, Iraqi pita bread and Bavarian mousse. We
must like eating anti semitics.

This is the only country where the guy with the open shirt and stain
on it is the honourable minister and the guy beside him with the suite
and tie is his driver. This is the only country where the phrase "I
didn't interfere" means that I want to interfere.

This is the only country where Moslems sell sacred souveniers to
Christians in exchange for bills that have the Rambam's face on them.
This is the only country where at age 18 you leave home and at 24 you
still live in it.

This is the only country where people who come to visit you for the
first time ask you if it's ok to take something from the fridge.
This is the only country where you can tell what the security situation
is from the songs that are being played on the radio. This is the only
country where the rich are on the socialist left, the poor on the
capitalistic right and the bourgeouis pay for everything.
This is the only country where it's no problem to get software that
launches a space shuttle, but you have to wait a week for your
washing machine to be fixed. And only here !!!!!!!!!!! (if we're
touching the subject) there's a time unit called "I'll come sometime
between 11 and 6. This is the only country where on the first date you
ask a girl where she served in the army. And this is the only country
where she was probably in a more militant job than you. This is the
only country where between the happiest day and the saddest day there
are exactly 60 seconds.

This is the only country where most people can't explain why they live
in it but they have loads of reasons why they can't live elsewhere.
This is the only country where if you hate politicians, hate clerks,
hate the situation, hate the taxes, hate the quality of service, and
hate the weather, it must mean that you like the country.

This is the only country I could live in !!! It's my country!!!

Efraim Kishon

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