You know the rules -- Smart & Funny are the only criteria.
"No kiddin'!? So Spielberg came all the way over here to take a look at this and STILL decided to base the new Indiana Jones movie on those ridiculous crystal skulls?!
What an idiot!"
HEY-O!!!!!!!
Speech bubble: (tearfully) "And this, Mr. Bush, is all we have left of our famous kotel after that awful palestinian attack..."
ReplyDeleteSubcaption: Israelis can never resist fooling with visiting politicians' minds.
Bush: Note to self: Next time visit Orlando. Israel is just a bunch of old rocks and monuments...
ReplyDeleteBush: "When you sell this place to the Palestinians, maybe leave that one -- it would look nice in the garden."
ReplyDeleteBush (to self): Errr... how much longer do I need to hold the profound look?
ReplyDeleteSpeech bubble: (tearfully) "And this, Mr. Bush, is all we have left of our famous kotel after that awful palestinian attack..."
ReplyDeleteHAHAHAHA - that was great! :)
My captions are:
How can this be the cornerstone if it isn't in the corner?
Bush to self: Who cares if this is 2000 years old, the rocks in American are much bigger.
"Welcome to Israel, Mr. President!"
ReplyDelete"On behalf of the American people, I would like to say...thank you."
"And, er, on behalf of the Israelis I would like to say, uh...rock on!"
"You're looking at pure history, Mr. President. Right here is the bush that once burned for Moses. And next to it, we have the rock that Moses hit to make water come out."
ReplyDelete"Really?"
"Uh huh. And, uh, just between you and me, Mr. President, if you do us a couple of, er, small favors, we'll lend you this rock. All you gotta do is hit it with a stick and gasoline will come out and all your gas prices will go down.
"Really?"
"It's the truth."
"In Texas, we like to use these things as paperweights."
ReplyDeleteThis comment has been removed by the author.
ReplyDeleteErachet: I was thinking of the "rock on" comment too. Nice.
ReplyDeleteMr President, do you know this was the first rock thrown in the intifada?
This was the rock David used to kill Goliath.
Shhh, don't tell anyone, but it's really styrafoam.
"So this is really the one that Moses hit?"
ReplyDeleteFIIIIINALLYYY, THE ROCK(!)...HAS COME BACK(!)...TO JERUSALEM!!!
ReplyDelete"Yasser told me he'd sign a peace treaty if I can karate-chop this stone. I'm still trying."
ReplyDeleteBush: [Oh man, I hate these presentations...]
ReplyDeletePeres: [Oh man, I have NO idea what this is about... a rock?! Shoot!]
Bush: [Wow, it must be really important, he's taking a long time... better keep the super serious face.]
Peres: [Shoot, he looks serious, he must know what it is... oh well, time to BS anyway!]
"So this rock, as you know, is from thousands of years ago... it serves as a reminder of all that we've come through..."
Bush: [Shoot! I'm supposed to know this!! Better keep up the serious face...!]
Peres: [Shoot! He DOES know! Oh man...]
...it's almost overwhelming when you really [crack] think [crack] about it.
[pause]
I can't even continue...
Bush, Peres: {WHEW!}
"Wow, that big huh? Mine weren't that big, but the doctor said i should still operate and get rid of them once. Hey, but if they were that big, I would keep one as a momento too."
ReplyDeleteHey, Shimmy, help me out here, it seems my right hand is stuck under this rock and I'm starting to lose feeling. You think this has anything to do with forgetting Jerusalem and my right hand losing its cunning?
ReplyDeleteBush: Hm... I don't see the letters anymore... I guess the commandments fell off after a while.
ReplyDelete"So this is shwarma before you cut it up?"
ReplyDelete"This was what the original matzah looked like. Nowadays we slice it up, of course. But back then...they had stronger teeth, rumor has it."
ReplyDeleteIn the same vein, "this is what happens to bread once it's been unleavened."
ReplyDeleteTed Kennedy's tomb stone?. (Deciding if hes zoche to have anything written on it)
ReplyDelete"Mr. Peres, I have received intelligence stating that Osama bin Laden is hiding under this rock."
ReplyDeleteJersey and Jameel made me laugh the hardest: "How can this be the cornerstone if it isn't in the corner?"
ReplyDeleteMine is: "This would look great in the White House Rose Garden... or the Washington Monument..."