Friday, July 18, 2008

What Happens When I'm Alone In The Kitchen

My mother told me to make two simple things for Shabbos. Pasta and this cranberry/apple/mandarin orange thing (you kind of just put them all in a bowl and mix them together - er, but not with the pasta). Sounds simple enough, right? Pasta I know how to make, of course, since it's only my favorite food. The other thing really is easy, but count on me to mess it up. Well, okay, I guess it's not really messed up, but in order to make it, you have to first grate an apple. And before you grate the apple, you have to peel it. Peeling apples is very tricky - at least, for me. I don't know how to peel anything with a knife because I just know that would end up in slicing off my finger. So I used a peeler. Safe enough, right?



Peel, peel, peel, peel, over the garbage can, peel, peel, peel, peel, OUCH.

I peeled a little bit too far and that could almost have been very painful and bloody.

So after getting over the shock of peeling off part of my finger (well, the nail, mostly, but it could have been so much worse!), I decided, shakily, to try again. Except at that point I was too tentative to actually peel anything.

I stared at the apple, wondering what to do. Most of it wasn't peeled yet but I was just too afraid to peel any more. Should I grate it with the peel on? Hmmm...

"You know what?" I thought to myself. I opened the cranberry gel stuff and the mandarin oranges and mixed them together. They looked good enough to me.

Then I ate the apple.

I'm sure no one'll notice, right?


  1. With a title like that, I thought the post was going to be more rated-R.

  2. hey hey hey, YOU'RE the one writing such titles. I can't be held accountable for the obvious interpretation.

  3. Way to make me self-conscious. Hmph.

  4. My roommate taught me that apples are easier to peel around then up and down.

  5. Or to slice them before you peel.

  6. Actually, Erachet, you don't ahve to hold yourself accountable for what Holy Hyrax thinks. He is trying to make you feel that your title itself had a problem, when in reality, your viewpoint was indeed correct, and it is he who holds the responsibility for his interpretation.

    Don't be so easily pursuaded! ;)

  7. For the easily injured, use doctors examination gloves or use plain kitchen rubber gloves. They hold the apple steady while peeling and you avoid the ouchies.

  8. M

    Are you trying to tell me that I am responsible for my own interpretations? Absurd


  9. Then I ate the apple.

    lol, i make an apple crisp for shabbos, and you peel and slice up apples then mix in sugar and lemon juice while you make the top "crip" part -- but the apples in lemonjuice and sugar are delicious.... so i usually end up cutting up an extra apple to begin with...

  10. Also, sometimes it's safer to peel w/ a knife than a peeler, since the round shape of the apple makes the peeler slip.

  11. M - Don't worry, Holy Hyrax can't persuade me that he doesn't have a sick mind. :P

    Diana - That's useful to know.

    Profk - Oh, don't worry. I've invested in a whole first-aid kit for my next apple-peeling attempt. :)

    Stam - Yum!

    Apple: Hmmm. I guess I can give it a try. I'm trusting are, after all, the Apple so you should know what you're talking about when it comes to these things...

  12. That's what happens when you try and pass off fruit as a legitimate dish.

  13. You can tell the Holy Hyrax has a sick mind by his pink nail polish.

    They totally do not match his eyeshadow.

  14. Pink naikl polish. Oh lordie. Was this what you were referrencing to when you said he was the best dressed man on prom night?

    Erachet- good. Keep your opinions- they\re the only thing you got!

    G- I can tell you're one of those men who thinks that the only thing that counts as food was once alive and walked the planet Earth (and ignores studies of plant migration).