...that I was mulling over last night. Any coherent thoughts would be greatly appreciated.
So, Avraham Avinu dispatches his most trusted servant to find and bring back a bride for his beloved Yitzchok. This is done with very explicit instructions when it comes to qualifications for "who" and "from where" - namely his family and his homeland.
Okay, no problem. So Eliezer travels forth and meets up with a fine young lady whom he decides will be the bride and brings her back to his master's son. Easy Peasy.
My pondering was on the following - That's it? First girl he meets up with and the search is over?! Why not look around and see if there is someone even more suitable or worthy of being the wife of Yitzchak/daughter-in-law of Avraham? Was there no one else who was even a possibility?
1) It doesn't seem that too much time and effort was put into the search to make sure that he was the most successful that he could possibly be.
2)If, in fact, Rivka was the only person who fulfilled all of the necessary qualifications (meaning that there were no other sisters or cousins floating around)then why not just tell the servant at the outset "Go get the girl Rivka and bring her back"...or along the same lines - WAS Rivka the only choice? Were their other people from which to choose, I honestly don't know.
Also - what's with the whole "watering" test? And if after she went through all that work he had asked her name and she replied, "Eleanor, from the house of Jackson". That would have been it for her...next! So why not first find out who meets the mandatory requirements and THEN look for additional personal distinctions.
Thoughts...
I'll give you my personal answer, which you may or may not find satisfying.
ReplyDeleteVery simply, Eliezer was praying to God for a sign. No sooner than he finishes, a girl walks up and literally fulfills the very sign he was asking for. To me, that sounds like a pretty good omen that she's the one and there is no need to go looking further.
As to your next question of what if she was from the wrong family? Well, I suppose that God would not allow that to happen (i.e. a girl from the wrong family to fulfill the sign). You might think that's silly, but consider this:
Suppose someone comes, rebuilds the Beis HaMikdash, sets up a religious government in Israel, gathers in the exiles and generally fulfills all the requirements of Moshiach. Then, someone checks his background and, whoops -- he's not from Dovid. What then? Do we tear down the newly-built Beis HaMikdash and send people back into exile again? Or, is it most likely to say that God won't allow these things to happen except by someone who is from Dovid? The same principle applies here to Rivkah, I believe.
The Wolf
Woooah. Okay:
ReplyDelete1) It could be that while they knew of the family, Avraham may not have been sure if there were more than one possible suitor. Presumably, detailed news was harder to get.
2) Have to disagree with Wolf: If only someone from that family would fulfill the sign, why check?
3) Why can't it be that there were two qualifications: Someone with these middos, and from this family?
4) Why not look around and see if there is someone even more suitable or worthy of being the wife of Yitzchak/daughter-in-law of Avraham?
Spoken like someone from this period in history. :P All seriousness, if this young lady fulfills all the important qualifications, would you say "well, let me see if I can get something better"? No - I think that if he found someone who met the criteria that were important to him/his master(s), he would jump at it, which he did.
5) It doesn't seem that too much time and effort was put into the search to make sure that he was the most successful that he could possibly be.
I don't know about that. He was sent to get someone who met these specific criteria - middos tovos and within a certain family. What else should he have done?
6) SO many comments on the story in general as it relates to the search for a shidduch... Father of the husband is supporting but the son is in the family business, the girl is helping random men, the primary criterion is middos, with an interesting secondary one that it be from a certain group...
2) Have to disagree with Wolf: If only someone from that family would fulfill the sign, why check?
ReplyDeleteBecause there could be more than one girl in the family. Who knows which is the right one?
The Wolf
I mean that if you are arguing that only someone whom Hashem wanted would fulfill the sign, you wouldn't need to check the family at all - whoever fulfilled the sign would be it. The same reasoning that only someone from that family would do it can be applied to only the correct sister would.
ReplyDeleteBecause there could be more than one girl in the family. Who knows which is the right one?
ReplyDeleteRight, but was there more than one?
The answer is simple yet shocking to most people:
ReplyDeleteAvraham never, I repeat, NEVER, required that the bride be from his family. He only insisted on homeland.
That "family" bit was thrown in by the servant later to sweet talk them.
Ez-
ReplyDelete1)Yeah, that's what I was thinking
2)right, testing then inquiring?...sort of sets uo a complicated situation
3)well, those were not the instructions so presumably Avraham's are more important
4)oh please:) - i'm not saying to take forever but just presuming the first option is the best? idk...then again if you ask God for help and he basically answers right away why question it.
5)idk, that's why i'm pondering
6)not even going there - trying to stick to the self evident q's
4)
Rabbi D-
ReplyDeletetrue enough, even so then why the test and why not see if there is anybody else?
1) Ok.
ReplyDelete2) Agreed.
3) Fair point.
4) Hey, you're talking to a guy in a family where all three pretty much took the first good option. (Oh, shut up.) And true, too.
5) I mean it makes sense to me.
6) Fiiine...
R' D - Thanks!
Rabbi D-
true enough, even so then why the test and why not see if there is anybody else?
He doesn't know how big the family is or how to pick from them, so he asks for a sign from God? Maybe? Dunno.
Rabbi D-
ReplyDeletewhen the pasuk says Artzi and Moladiti doesn't one mean land and the other people?
And later when the pasuk says that God promised to give the land l'zaracha, well since we know that Yitzchak is and he is giving instruction for finding his wife doesn;t that imply that she also be zaracha?
I'm asking, not arguing
Don't misunderstand the test. This was not a matter of "The first girl with blue eyes who coughs three times is the One." The servant was looking for someone who had Avraham's exceptional standards of chesed. And she SURPASSED those expectations. And she was attractive, and chaste. So when that is coupled with being from the same mishpacha (seen as a plus), why waste time?
ReplyDeleteI don't see any implication that Rivkah is called "zera Avraham".
ReplyDeleteI have always been troubled by how "moledes" should be translated. Is it a geographical designation (land of my birth) or an ethnic one (clan of my birth)? Even if it's genetic, it does not imply an immediate connection. Someone from Bnei Eiver, or even Bnei Sheim, would be sufficient for that.
I don't see any implication that Rivkah is called "zera Avraham".
ReplyDeleteI don't mean directly.
But why does Avraham make a point of bringing up that term when Eliezer asks "well, what if she won't come"? Avraham emphasises that God's promise was connected to 'zaracha'. Since we know that Yitzchak comes from the family of Avraham, and since the discussion in question is about finding his spouse, doesn't it fit that Avraham is saying that Eliezer should make sure that the bride is from his family?(as far as what constitutes 'family', i guess shem and ever would qualify - can't see why they wouldn't)
Re: the test - I hear.
IDK, i guess i'm just wondering if there was anybody else even possibly 'available' for the role of bride of Yitzchok. Not that it can 'be held against' Rivka, but was it her by default? (not that it takes away from any of the attributes shown in the pesukim. just the opposite, it could be that one might have thought that she was chosen bec she was the only option and was not on a high level so the pesukim go out of the way to make sure we know who/what she was regardless of any other circumstances)
Like I said, much to ponder
But why does Avraham make a point of bringing up that term when Eliezer asks "well, what if she won't come"? Avraham emphasises that God's promise was connected to 'zaracha'.
ReplyDeletePerhaps he's emphasizing to Eliezer that she will, because God promised him descendants?
No! The point is simply, "God promised me grandchildren, so if she says she won't come, I'm not worried. God will give me grandchildren some other way."
ReplyDelete