I wake up Shabbos morning to Kickboxer banging on the door of our room, telling me I have to get up to go to davening. Hmph - guests. Kidding. Anyway, I get up, go to Lander, daven, and come back with Ex-Pres and Memphis in tow. Memphis has on these really nice looking shades that are way too reflective, freaking people out when they talk to him because you can't tell if he has eyes. He and I were also the only two people in the entire place to not have dark suits on - despite it being about 90 degrees and sunny. I don't understand the hang-up on light suits - they usually look nicer, are more comfortably cool, especially in the summer, and I've never heard of any concept that dark suits are better for your soul. I'm always impressed by Chofetz Chaim, which is generally made up of a wide spread of colors and styles among the guys. I also find it ironic that Chofetz Chaim, a full-time yeshiva, is more "open-minded" about issues such as dress, while Lander, a yeshiva-college, gets hung up on shtick such as this.
Ah, but back to our home. We walk in, and Kickboxer is slightly freaked that I came back during haftorah and put up all the food, as she thought the whole time it was Serach. Meanwhile, I hear 24Girl yell my name from outside to come open the front door, which always makes me wonder what the neighbors think - every weekend, people constantly scream up to others to open the door, instead of just buzzing it. Half the apartments by us are frum, so they probably don't even notice; but the Gentiles are probably thinking these people are morons for not just pressing the button.
I let her in, and she joins the two girls her sister had sent over on the couches. Serach was making salad in the kitchen with Kickboxer, Memphis was just lazying around, and Ex-Pres was hogging the A/C. After a couple more minutes, Shifra shows up, and she joins in the making of the salad. Why it takes 3 people to make a salad, I'll never know.
After kiddush, everyone gets up to wash. For some reason, after everyone else has washed, Serach is still making or doing something in the kitchen. It seems that at every meal, there's always that one person who waits until about a minute after everyone else to finally wash. She sits down, I make the blessing on the bread, start to cut into the challah... and it falls apart, into about 15 little pieces. Typical. Everyone laughs as we start passing around bits of bread, and the meal starts.
But before I forget... a couple funny lines from Friday night that were left out:
Serach: ...I thought Ezzie was ugly the first time I met him! And I still married him!Earlier, when Serach started discussing her father, who's an utter genius (note: Ex-Pres and Serach like having 2nd-grade arguments along the lines of "My father invented this!" "Well my father saved this guy's life!" "Well my father is a nerd" "My father is a bigger nerd") :
Ex-Pres: Wow. Every time I think we've hit rock bottom in this house, Serach, you manage to create another new low.
Serach: He got his PhD from Columbia in bio-physical chemistry and smicha (ordination) from R' Zalman Levine - the son of the Malacher - and...And, when Serach mispronounced a word, thinking it was a "Tuf" when it was actually a "Samech", and pronouncing it "T", Ex-Pres jumped on it.
Ex-Pres: Blah, blah, blah. Don't you think we've been subjected to your father's resume enough times?
"T?!" What are you saying?! How would you like it if I called you Terach instead of Serach!?[Terach was Abraham's idol-worshipping and evil father, not exactly a positive figure in Jewish history.]I'm drawing a bit of a blank on a lot of the Shabbos day meal - it involved a lot of Memphis making fun of KickBoxer for somewhat New York-jappy comments (even though she's not one - basically picking on every word that came out of her mouth); Shifra, Kickboxer, and Serach talking - and talking - and talking; and 24Girl blurting out a comment every once in a while like, "Oh my gosh... I can't wait for season Five!!" There was also some fighting for gummy bears and other assorted candies that Shifra had bought, with Ex-Pres and the girls keeping the basket away from each other for extended periods of time. After all, we're all very mature.
Signing off for now - Parts VII and more will be coming soon!
Technorati tags: Crazy, Funny, Shabbos.
Oh yeah. I should note that I never ended up writing parts VII and on. Perhaps one day I will - but the rest wasn't nearly as funny (at least until Motzei Shabbos). I hope you've enjoyed! I know we did. :)ReplyDelete
omg u guys are halarious!!!ReplyDelete
im for suuuuure coming to u guys for a shabbos!!!!!