Thursday, September 15, 2005

Crazy Shabbos - Intro to our Apartment & Guests

*EDIT* JIB readers, welcome! At the end of each post in this six-part series, there is a link to the next part. Just click on that to continue the story. Thank you and enjoy!

Now that it's Thursday, it's a wonderful time to explain a somewhat typical weekend at our apartment. This past Shabbos happens to be a perfect example, so why not use that. (Take a deep breath, because it's almost guaranteed you'll lose it somewhere here!) As I don't want to have this all on my homepage, hit the 'Click Here' link below!

Let's start it off easy: There's Serach, and there's me - Ezzie. [SerandEz, get it? Duh...] For Shabbos, Ser's good friend, we'll call her Artist [using anonymous or single names only because I haven't asked, but I honestly can't imagine anyone would care] (she's a graphic artist) asked to come, but she was going to eat Friday night at a friend nearby. Meanwhile, we invited Ex-Pres [half NYer half Israeli] (who used to be Lander Student Government President) for both meals because he was kind of stuck, and he's always fun to have over. Another friend, Memphis (he's from there), also asked to come with Ex-Pres Friday night, I invited him for both, and he's never been here before, so this would all be new to him. I also invited Toast, a Bostoner Chassid from Chicago whose only difference from a typical very frum college guy is peyos and a beard; HighVoice from Milwaukee, who is a great singer and sadly, a rabid Packer fan; and BeardMan, a Chicago guy who loves coming to our house because, as he said, "You never know what might happen!"

For Shabbos day, we were planning on having ExPres and Memphis, along with Artist; 24Girl, a good friend who we hooked on 24, which probably caused her not to pass her nutrition certification test; Shifra, Ser's best friend's sister who Ser wanted me to meet so I could help find a guy for her; and 2 girls 24Girl's sister Beemer and Beemer's husband LawMan (he just took the bar; she got a BMW from her grandfather) sent over for the same purpose. Apparently, I know a ton of guys somewhere...

Of course, this means I started cooking sometime on Friday afternoon, as always. (Oh yeah, Ser usually does Challah and sides and I do the mains and some of the sides.) Serach finished all her stuff by about 4:30, while the washing machine was using the sink (we only have 2 sinks, and the other one is in the bathroom), so I had plenty of time to do 4 chickens and a couple small things. Somehow, we actually finished early in our preparations, and I was able to shower and be dressed at least 10 minutes before shkia! Usually it's getting dressed as shkia hits, but today, wow... Of course, our dryer wasn't really working for some reason, so we had to hang a lot of stuff to dry, but no day is perfect.

So, it was off to shul for Kabbalos Shabbos and Ma'ariv (I usually daven mincha earlier on Fridays, knowing I'm not going to make it later), where, being the first Shabbos, Rav B. would be there - and of course, they ask him last second to daven for the amud. Which brings up the same issue as every year: All year round we sing Lecha Dodi together, but when the Rosh Yeshiva is there we don't. Does that make any sense?! He also used the same tune (which nobody truly knows) every year, resulting in myself and ExPres going out to shmooze for a bit while the rest of the place sat through it. (We each sit in back corners, and there's a lot of people - nobody noticed, so I don't believe there's a chutzpah involved.)

Anyways, after davening, we came back, and everything was pretty much set. This is extremely shocking, because normally when I come home we start to set the table while Ser is in our room finishing getting dressed or making Terra Chip or Layah's salad in the kitchen. We also had the beautiful flowers from Artist in a vase - except it's not really a vase, because we all thought it looked cooler in a funky pitcher that has a hole for a handle.

As usual of late, one of the candles has gone out - we're not sure why that one keeps doing it, we think the wick is too short - and for some reason HighVoice seems to switch keys on me during Shalom Aleichem. Now, how to describe a meal by us? No holds/comments barred, everyone saying anything that may come to their mind... the comments we've gotten from some in the past: (Quotes are not exact)
Beemer and LawMan:
We love coming to you guys - it's just a hilarious madhouse. You hide nothing from anyone.
We sent them to you and said, 'No matter what happens, you'll have a good time - it's pure entertainment.'
Oh my God, I haven't been to you guys in like a month! I'm so bored! I need entertainment!
I love coming to you guys - you never know what might happen. And the food's really good, too.
You never know what might come out of Serach's mouth.

Or, as I once said to HighVoice (a story he loves to tell over, because it's right on the money)...
[Me:] "Hey, you want to come for Shalosh Seudos? We don't really have much food, but my wife can make fun of you!" [HV:] "Umm... Sure!"

There are definitely a few guests who take the cake in getting made fun of (a joyous ritual they return in kind), and they're HighVoice, his cousin MathNerd (also of Milwaukee), Groovin' (friend from Cleveland/WITS/OJ/Lander who Ser calls my stalker), BaldCanadian (a Ottawa guy who is losing his hair), and others who are moving up the list. One of these is DeepThroat, a Cleveland/WITS guy who just came to Lander and quickly placed himself in the 'make fun of me' area. He and HighVoice sang 'Im Eshkachech' by our wedding, beautifully, I might add; though adding in a friend of mine who Serach had gone out with was probably a mistake [though he was good]. (Especially when he went over to Ser at the wedding and said, "See? I told you I'd sing at your wedding!") And, on that note...

While there are so many more characters in this, for now I will hold it here: But more will come in future posts! TO BE CONTINUED... EDIT: Part II is up! UPDATE: And Part III!

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  1. Ezzie - maybe you should post recipes.

  2. Haha! Hmmm... considering some of them are yours... Maybe you should make a recipes blog!

  3. Why not just make fun of people for being from cleveland. It is really easy and fun to do. ;)

  4. lets not forget about those who invite themselves and then cancel....!:)

  5. Jack - LOL, I hear that! Maybe another time... Anon - yeah, you really blew it! Maybe I'll add you near the end of this story, after all, I did see you... Hmmm...

  6. Ezzie,

    I should find a different target, but sometimes I just can't help myself. Pepper Pike just begs for attention.

  7. Jack - As always, you're killing me... though I must say I've never actually been to Pepper Pike. Now, Cleveland Heights...

  8. Maybe next time I get a Shabbos invitation (probably tomorrow) I should take up on the offer. Only spent one shabbos by you but I feel like I get the free entertainment pretty often anyway.

  9. You're always invited. After all, you will always be our Polish housekeeper! (Oh cool! Now I know what to call you later in the story!)

  10. When we lived at Einstein we used to get a lot of the single guys to come over for shabbos meals. They spent the time uniformly complaining about not being married yet. Maybe we should have had more women over too.