We left off with Serach referring to me as "ugly", but I realized I'd left out a few parts. Ezzie's memory = not good...
Before Shabbos, I'd been taking out the garbage, about the same time KickBoxer showed up in her car with the flowers that went into a pitcher. At the same time, I see another friend of Serach's from Cincinnatti standing outside. She asks where we live, so she can surprise Serach on Shabbos.
Friday night, as mentioned before, we had a lot of guys over. This friend came over with her cousin near the end of the meal. Now, she went to seminary for three years, as did her cousin, I believe. Therefore, they felt uncomfortable sitting down in a room with a few guys, even though they were only planning on staying for a few minutes. Though I think it's something people should be able to do anyway, I do understand their point of view, so I was only mildly surprised when they - along with Serach - retreated to the kitchen.
This resulted in my commenting to the guys at the table, "I do believe that's the first time I've seen that here..." In retrospect, I should have made a joke about women voluntarily retreating to the kitchen, but alas...
Anyways, back to the table, and later in the night. The ShanaGimel girls are gone, and I believe the Ex-Date and her Doc Husband have gone too (they were nice, I must say...), and DeepThroat and HighVoice are singing, with myself, Toast, Memphis, and even BeardedMan joining in. Ex-Pres was probably shmoozing, but at least he spared us. Now, DeepThroat has a very good, deep, baritone voice, but can go pretty high; HighVoice has, well... a really HighVoice, but is a beautiful singer. I just like hearing really great singing and/or music, in general.
They sang a bunch of songs, including the Im Eshkachech which they had sung *at* my wedding, which was gorgeous. They also pulled off some impressive harmonies, with a little help from myself and the others in giving them a base to harmonize off of both high and low, so it sounded really nice. I noticed KickBoxer with wide eyes - apparently, she loves music, and was really enjoying the performance.
This time, Serach didn't fall asleep. She has in the past, including last Rosh Hashana when there were 9 guys singing quite loudly at the table. But I digress...
DeepThroat was about to go back, so I walked him out, and started talking. And talking. And talking. We were out there for about a half-hour when we were called out to by Serach, which means that Ex-Pres was badgering my wife for about the same amount of time. Meanwhile, Memphis was probably making fun of Kickboxer's tri-state tendencies, and Toast and BeardedMan were just sitting there enjoying the show.
After a while, Toast and BeardedMan left as well, and HighVoice joined the conversation outside. Which means Ex-Pres is contemplating falling asleep on the couch, much as he did a month earlier, when there were three girls over. That time, he decided to insist that he was homeless (sort of true), and we had invited him over as a chessed case (absolutely true). He took a couple pillow, put them on the couch, and put a blanket over himself, resulting in the following exchange:
"Is he really homeless?"Speaking of air-conditioning, last Shavuos, Ex-Pres did a good thing:
(scared) [The girls were supposed to be sleeping on the couches] "Is he really going to sleep on the couch!?"
I don't think so.
(unconvinced) "Are you sure? He looks like he is..."
Don't worry. He'll find a park bench, or head back to the apartment he's staying at.
"Oh. So he's not really homeless?"
Oh, he is. It's not his apartment. But our A/C is better. And on. Don't worry, though - I have no problem kicking him out when you want me to.
"Oh my gosh, Ezzie, it's boiling in here!! Yeah, I know. Nothing we can do... the A/C shut off, it thinks it's cool in here. Can't you ask a neighbor? No, I don't trust my neighbors. One family collects junk; one swears at us and hopes all the Jews in the building die, along with vandalizing every thing in sight; one abuses her great-granddaughter; and the nice Spanish ones aren't around.
All of a sudden, :::whoosh::: the air goes on.
A bunch of people turn wide-eyed at Ex-Pres, and one asks simply: What the hell did you just do?!! I turned it up - you said it was hot in here.
Since Ex-Pres is Israeli, and technically still lives there, though he hasn't been there in a couple years, he does not keep second day of Yom Tov. Therefore, we call him our Yom Tov guy. Unfortunately, this didn't help us this Shabbos. As soon as he walked in, he walked over to the A/C to get cooled down. Of course, when someone stands right in front of the air, this may result in its thinking that it is cool inside... and turn off.
It was a very hot meal. And Ex-Pres got yelled at a couple of times, notably when KickBoxer came back and discovered that the room she'd be sleeping in was about 90 degrees. Actually, she was nice about it... just made a comment anytime he'd say a word. Miraculously, it turned back on when I was sitting near it during the singing (and serving of Serach's blueberry something or other - I didn't have, but everyone else said it was great). Unsurprisingly, it shut back off after everyone left, and KickBoxer boiled all night. It turned back on the second she got up in the morning. Ouch.
Anyways, back to outside: I'm talking to DT and HV for a while now, and we kept getting jokes made and yelled at from the window by Serach, KickBoxer, and Ex-Pres/Memphis. Serach's about 5"0, and so is KickBoxer. At one point, I hear the front door of the building open, and I notice DeepThroat about to say something to them. The two young Arab ladies walk by, in their colored hijabs and full garb, and walk down the path out of sight. DeepThroat cracks up, and explains,
'I was about to say "Ha-Ha, you can stop dressing up now!!" - I thought it was Serach and KickBoxer! Whew... That would have gone over well...'As if we don't have enough to worry about with our wonderful neighbors... like a couple weeks ago, when Serach was walking back in, the kids all scattered, leaving the phone books (meant for the building's tenants) ripped to shreds in their wake, and pieces of paper that had "DIE! DIE! DIE!" written all over them.
Well, I finally went back in after another little while... Ex-Pres and Memphis took their leave, and KickBoxer and us were the only ones remaining. We remembered to close the shades this time (we usually just keep them closed, but we'd opened them for air), learning from a previous mistake:
We had walked one friend of Serach's home along with another co-worker. When we came back, I noticed I could see right into our apartment. Thank God it was late, because I commented on this fact apologetically to the two girls who were staying over. One of them responded, "Well, I hope there was nobody outside, because while she was in the bathroom, they probably got quite a show from me..."At least the lights were off, unlike the time I'd set the Shabbos clock backward.
(Ser's friend) Aren't the green ones on, the red ones off? No - why would it make a difference? I'm pretty sure it does. Nah - they both hit the thingie and turn it. There's no difference. Have you ever used one before? No - but I looked at it, I'm sure it's fine.And the little Chinese wall we put up stayed up, unlike when it almost fell on another guest... though that wasn't my fault, as the guest adjusted it in an unbalanced way - even though I warned them not to. But, Kickboxer is nothing if not blunt: Tell me if the couch is comfortable when it's opened up. I don't think it looks comfortable, but everyone else says it actually is. It's not. See? I knew you'd give an honest answer. I think everyone else just likes that it's Queen-size. Maybe... but it's not so great. Tomorrow, I'm just going to take a nap on the couch itself - it's really comfortable on its own. But the bed sucks. My mother liked it pulled out a lot more than not. Don't ask me, that makes no sense.
Next morning: The lights were on all night. And then shut off this morning. Whoops. Yeah - I didn't sleep at all. Uh-oh. Exactly.
Well, good-night... Parts VI and on (Shabbos day and beyond!) are coming soon!
Technorati tags: Humor, Shabbos.