Friday, February 15, 2008

Ezzie's Blog Roundup 2/15

There was a lot of worthwhile stuff to read yesterday, but with all the stuff getting put up here, I held off until this morning.
  • This article in New York Magazine about kids and lying is absolutely fascinating and important to read. It gets into a whole bunch of discussions on different subjects, but it's still not long.

    Meanwhile, the child’s parent usually cheers when the child comes up with the white lie. “Often, the parents are proud that their kids are ‘polite’—they don’t see it as lying,” Talwar remarks. ...

    Encouraged to tell so many white lies and hearing so many others, children gradually get comfortable with being disingenuous. Insincerity becomes, literally, a daily occurrence. They learn that honesty only creates conflict, and dishonesty is an easy way to avoid conflict. And while they don’t confuse white-lie situations with lying to cover their misdeeds, they bring this emotional groundwork from one circumstance to the other. It becomes easier, psychologically, to lie to a parent. So if the parent says, “Where did you get these Pokémon cards?! I told you, you’re not allowed to waste your allowance on Pokémon cards!” this may feel to the child very much like a white-lie scenario—he can make his father feel better by telling him the cards were extras from a friend.

  • Bad4Shidduchim discusses Loving Mr. Not-Perfect.
    It’s interesting because I think most people will admit, at least cognitively, that a perfect mate doesn’t exist. Getting married is really a matter of deciding how short of perfection you’re willing to stop. And in the shidduch system, the more right you go, the larger that gap gets. At the same time, there shouldn’t be a feeling of “settling” because you’re not - nobody could possibly be perfect. It’s just a matter of when you find out about all those faults. In fact, the more you know of a person’s faults before marriage, the less let down you’re likely to feel, the happier you’ll ultimately be.
    See the comment by "Ari" there, as well.
  • ProfK discusses an elementary teacher's wonderful way of teaching kids finances. I think this should be done again in high school so people can remember it for life. (I do recall at least a couple Rabbeim doing similar things with us in elementary school, but not quite as sophisticated.)
    She told me that some students seemed not to be able to get out of the here and now mode of spending. Every week they spent their allowance completely. They bought a small piece of candy or a crayon. Some were satisfied with these small purchases and never complained. Others complained that all they ever seemed to be able to buy was a little thing when they really wanted something more expensive from the shopping catalog. Some children, when they got a raise in salary, spent it all each week by buying a more expensive piece of candy. A few listened to the teacher's advice and put the raise in salary into their "savings accounts."

    Midway through the year there was a real dichotomy in the students' accounts. A lot of students were living paycheck to paycheck. They had nothing in savings. A few had a little bit in their savings accounts. And even fewer had a lot in their savings accounts.
  • I think stupidity like this makes people not want to be religious. Grr.
    Jews become Agnostics... Because they drink Cholov Stam!
    From AskMoses (regarding the law of Cholov Yisrael):

    This law also has spiritual reasons. Drinking unsupervised milk causes agnosticism. The milk may in fact be 100% from a kosher animal, but if no Jewish person was present to watch the milking, it has the effect of casting doubts in our core beliefs.
  • Wolf knows what Rebbetzin Jungreis should respond to a young woman asking if she should marry a not-so-religious but wonderful man.
  • Finally, a very interesting vort from Ibn Avraham for this week's parsha.
    Ben Zoma said: We found a pasuk which is all inclusive, "Shema Yisrael, Hashem Elokeinu, Hashem Ekhad." (Devarim 6:4)
    Ben Nannas said: We found a pasuk which is all inclusive, "v'Ahavta l'Reakha k'Mokha." (Vayikra 19:18)
    Ben Pazai said: We found a pasuk which is all inclusive: "And the first sheep you shall offer in the morning . . . " (Shemot 29:32?, Parshat Tetzaveh*)