Sunday, March 20, 2011

How I Met Ezzie (and Serach) Part MMMMMDCCLXXVII

In the criminal justice system sexually based offenses are considered especially heinous. In New York City the dedicated detectives who investigate these vicious felonies are members of an elite squad known as the Special Victims Unit. These are their stories.

Saturday Night

August 25, 2007

A distraught call comes in from a mother. She hasn’t heard from her son for the last twenty five hours. He was supposed to be spending Shabbos at the apt of some guy who’s blog he had been reading for years. Shabbos has been over for almost ten minutes, and this distraught Jewish mother has not heard from her son yet. She fears the worst!

Detectives begin to investigate, and notice a lot of in his browser history. They canvas his friends and witnesses tell them the following. At a wedding the previous week, there was a guy who Ed thought looked familiar, so he walked over and had a conversation that went something like this.

“Hey, I’m not a stalker or anything but are you Ezzie?” He was slightly weirded out but said “yes I am nice to meet you.”

I thought that would be the end of it, but little did I know the “horror” was just beginning. The next day (I believe Weds) Ezzie spent his lunch break with friends of his, who were spending a day in NYC with friends of mine, and my friends had invited me. I wound up spending a few hours hanging out with Ezzie, and a few weeks later I was desperate for a place for Shabbos, where I could be back to the city shortly after.

Arriving at Ezzie’s was the first time I met Serach, I don’t remember what she said, but it was probably along the lines of “You’re Ed? You’re fat and stupid!”

But when people ask how I met Ezzie it’s more fun to say, we met online, then in person, then I spent the weekend at his place….


  1. don't worry Ed, your "desperate" Shabbos, allowed us to get fulfill our chesed quote for the week, and olam habah, forever!

  2. and just btw, i said "ed, your fat and dumb and a jerk"

  3. Well played, sir. And yes, that's exactly how to say it. :)

    Thanks to you I'm numb to strange people asking me who I am... and you forget that we almost threw someone off a skyscraper roof just a day after meeting.

  4. Oh, and it was a Monday. :) The wedding was Sunday.