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Wednesday, July 11, 2007

Now this is FUN

I have recently succumbed to my parent's constant badgering and decided to speak to shadchanim*. There will, after all, be no knight in shining armor on a white horse. (But there's still room for hoping!) I recently received an email from the seminary I attended in Israel saying that they would like to "help alleviate some of the shidduch* crisis" so they have hired a woman full time to make shidduchim* and have married almunus in America be her little elves in helping her execute the job. I got to the question in their little questionnaire asking me to decribe my hashkafa*. I thought to myself, what in the world can I say that won't make them cry for me and begin tehillim* sessions right away. I am not saying I am "off the derech*" (G-d forbid), but in the eyes of my seminary I am certainly not looking for the "right" kind of guy. Is it so bad to want someone to make their own money and not learn full time and drain our parents of whatever padding they have in their bank accounts? Why can't I want my husband to have color in his wardrobe and not look like a oreo cookie? Perhaps the springtime oreos or the halloween oreos, but for sure not the classic cookie!


But like I have said before, I do not beat around the bush. I will write it like it is and not be ashamed that I didn't become a cookie cutter product of my
Bais Yaakov schooling. Things like this questionnaire will always be necessary in this ridiculous world of shidduchim we single gals suffer through. But in my eyes, it is just another item to scratch off my list of hishtadlus* in my search for Mr. Right.

* Definitions:
Shadchanim/Shidduchim - Matchmakers/Matchmaking
Hashkafa - Religious outlooks and beliefs
Tehillim - Psalms
Derech - the so-called "straight and narrow" path
Hishtadlus - necessary effort

75 comments:

  1. Have I got a guy for you!!!!!

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  2. **DANGER***Generalizations Ahead**DANGER**

    O-O-O Who's that girl with the OREO cookie
    Countin' up her parents money
    Like he did when he was little
    Oh, that yummy O-R-E-O

    O-O-O Who's that girl with the OREO cookie
    Wastin' all her precious time
    Hatin' every little bit
    It's hard to hide yourself inside
    When you're datin' O-R-E-O.

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  3. By the way thanks for negating the rest of my work day as I sit and try to decide...if I were a mass produced cookie which one would I be???

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  4. Hehe...did we go to the same school?! I could swear I got that same email. I don't think I'm even going to bother sending the questionnaire in. I'm not a cookie-cutter girl either (and I never went to a BY in my life!); even in sem, I didn't fit that mold.

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  5. oooohhhh....how much do I hate this topic....

    It's not like you're straight out of seminary. You don't think they have lightened up a little? Don't try to pretend to be something you are not. There's a great guy out there waiting for you! And my personal philosophy - if someone doesn't understand who you are or what you are looking for, that person is not the one you should be discussing shidduchim with.

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  6. sam - is he tall? lol.

    scraps - I'm sure we did go to the same seminary, but I guess we will never know unless one of has the guts to put it out there. I wasn't going to fill it out either, but then I figured it would just amuse the head Rabbi to see my profile floating around the piles of papers. We weren't exactly best friends when I was in Israel.

    sarak - don't worry - I wouldn't pretend to be anything I'm not. And i do know that guy is out there somewhere! I'm not in a super rush! (yet....)

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  7. someone in the more Yeshivish of the shuls i go to once suggested to me some Agudah shiddukh initiative, and i had to figure out a way to politely say "no thanks, not for me" without offending his people :-P

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  8. what about double stuffed?

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  9. Get my email from Ezzie and we can discuss it in private. :)

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  10. I wonder what the comparative term would be if Oreos weren't kosher. I Hydrox used to have a "K," but alas they no longer exist.

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  11. sam - tall and handsome? i didn't know they made jewish boys like that!

    a2 - double stuffed would have to be a personal preference, but not one i would turn down :)

    g - I am still waiting to hear which variety of "mass produced cookies" you identify with.

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  12. After much thought and consideration I have decided to go with...Stella D’oro Swiss Fudge Cookies.

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  13. G- better known as "Shtreimel Cookies" -- something we don't know about?

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  14. G - You HAVE to explain that one.

    Stam - LOL! That was hilarious!

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  15. They made one 24 years ago.

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  16. They probably couldn't care less if you want to marry someone yeshivish or not. There is a significant minority of people who come out of BY sems who are not cookie cutter and marry the type of guy you are looking for. So I doubt they will be surprised or even blink. Which is probably why they included the question in the first place - because once you are no longer 19, all the alumnae make their own choices and become individuals. I think that if they would like to help you, be honest and it couldn't hurt.

    There are so many girls who worry about impressing her seminary teachers, parents, and friends with her "catch" rather than being true to herself and marrying someone she can love and respect. Be true to yourself and everyone will be happier.

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  17. Put in the application. You never know the way Hashem will part the sea for you. And goodluck.

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  18. better known as "Shtreimel Cookies" -- something we don't know about?

    Never heard that before, although I see the similarity.

    For the record, you will never in your life find someone who has fewer chasidish tendencies than yours truly (Ez can testify to this)(not that such tendencies are negative, they are just not me). Futhermore, I highly doubt that a cookie with a history of carrying an OU(D) and yet not being dairy would get much play in the furry hat community.

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  19. For someone who claims to identify with a Shtreimel Cookie, shouldn't you know that they've been stam "OU" - without the "D" for a while now?

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  20. You HAVE to explain that one.

    Well if I must:

    -They are kind of tough on the outside but all kinds of good once you get past the exterior.
    --They have pointy edges that you need to be careful of if you have'nt been nice to them (and left the package open).
    ---They are highly addictive once tried.
    ----They always come in pairs, proof that they enjoy good company but not just anybody as the entire pkg. only contains about 24.
    -----They have a loyal following but not mass appeal as they are not so widely advertised/distributed, and it would seem that this is by design.
    ------The packaging allows for a look inside to see if they are appealing to you but only about half, for the rest you need to be willing to stick around and find out.
    -------THEY ARE AWESOME!!!

    See, you can learn alot from a cookie.

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  21. Dear stam,

    Of course I know this, and yet I feel that it's past would somehow cast a shadow on it's cheskas pareve in the eyes of some (are we still talking about cookies?):)

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  22. anon - I 100% agree with you and I am truthful to myself...if I wasn't then I would have followed what my friends did and I would already be married to my kollel husband with 2 kids at the age of 22. But I know that is not who I am and I never pretend to be that either.

    sephardilady - I did send it in last night and thank you!

    g - that still doesn't tell us WHY you are a swiss fudge. Amd thank G-d those went back to being pareve, they are part of my "shabbos party" childhood!

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  23. "that still doesn't tell us WHY you are a swiss fudge."

    Huh??? What do you mean "WHY?", you're going to have to clue me in as I am but a lowly swiss cookie not some kind of Fig Newton (P.S.A. Newton's are the MIT students of the cookie world, for obvious reasons)

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  24. And he would have been that kollel husband.

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  25. g - i do apologize. i began writing the comment before you posted your lengthy and certainly adequate explanation behind your choice of cookie.

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  26. sam - any more of these supposed tall, handsome, 24 year old guys in the working world?

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  27. G - Ha! First of all, that's the best analysis of a cookie I've ever seen.

    You did leave out that all the ones in the package look exactly alike, though...

    And your other comment was one of the most brilliantly written I've even seen on this blog. :)

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  28. "You did leave out that all the ones in the package look exactly alike, though..."

    Fair point, but that really applies across the board (w/ the exception of variety packs which by definition have more...whatever, you get the point).

    --Yes, well this IS apparently what they pay me for :)

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  29. I like Shtreimel Cookies...but I wouldn't want to marry one.

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  30. I meant he would have been that kollel husband if he had followed his friends. He did not.

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  32. stam - that's why you can eat them two at a time :)
    But that gets you nauseous way faster.

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  33. I am so innocent...! I didn't even *write* this post.

    Wow. As I said to iPay, I've rarely seen this much "PaRDeS" on a post. (Pshat/Remez/Drash/Sod)

    Anyway...

    Very rare is it that a person can eat two at a time and truly enjoy it. In the end, they don't get much out of either cookie.

    Soggy cookies? Yuck. Those are the worst - they're crumbly around the edges, pieces falling apart, and just don't taste good. They sometimes still have some good parts, but overall... eh. They need to be left to sit for a little while until they dry out.

    But it is true. The first cookie is almost always good, because you haven't had one in a while, and you're really looking forward to it. Then you eat another, but it's not quite the same. And another. Then you kind of run through them without really thinking anymore, barely even paying attention... until suddenly you're snapped back to attention by that last one. And you wait, and wait, and finally you eat it, and it's SOOO good - crispy, with all that chocolate inside... yum.

    What? I'm talking about the cookies!

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  35. You only get sick of them if you eat 'em too fast. (Though maybe you meant that.)

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  37. You people are making me hungry!

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  39. this is pathetic. i got off the subway to get a couple of things i need to cook for shabbos, and somehow a package of shtreimel cookies made their way into my cart. hmmm.....i'll save them for my shabbos party :)

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  40. HEY!! Genuk w/ the "shtreimel" already. Call 'em stella d'ors, fudge, swiss, whatever...

    This is what I get for injecting obvious thought into my comments, lesson learned.

    --what the %@&* happened to this post anyway.

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  41. What? We're just discussing cookies... yum. I love Stella Doras.

    Notice how they're called Stella Doras, even though they make tons of different cookies? Does *anybody* eat any of the others? I think not.

    I've decided (egotistically, of course - what other way is there?) that I'm a big colored sprinkle cookie. Nice, big, really very plain, yet everyone seems to love just because it has a little bit of brightness to it. Ya know?

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  42. i was going to leave a comment relating to the post but now all i can think of is cookies...
    mmm... coooooooookiiiiiies...

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  44. Okay, I just feel this need to put in my $0.02 about Swiss Fudge cookies. I kind of like them but they have a few very annoying aspects that prevent me from actively seeking them out. Hence I won't buy them for my house but I'll eat them if they happen across my path.

    One issue with them is that one of each pair is blemished. The bottom cookie almost always has some crumbs stuck to it from the upper cookie and so the fudginess of the chocolate is marred.

    Another issue is tedious manner in which they must be eaten. The ideal way to end the eating of the cookie is with the chocolate. Otherwise, you might almost just as well have eaten a swiss fudgeless cookie because you start with cookie taste and end with the cookie taste and so everything in between is swallowed up between the two. To end properly, that is, with the chocolate taste, you must first eat the cookie around the center. Then you must (carefully!) eat the cookie beneath the chocolate. This step is particularly delicate as you want to scrape off as much of the cookie as possible and still leave the chocolate relatively dry and intact. If everything went well with steps one and two, you are rewarded with a truly magnificent fudge experience as the finale.

    Frankly, sometimes it's just not worth all that effort - it's just too exhausting to do it right. And then there are the obvious etiquette issues with eating a Swiss Fudge cookie in public.

    :::sigh:::

    Okay, I'm done now. As you were.

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  46. One issue with them is that one of each pair is blemished. The bottom cookie almost always has some crumbs stuck to it from the upper cookie and so the fudginess of the chocolate is marred.

    That's SO true...!!

    But that's also how you know when you have a really good pack. If the crumbs are very minimal and crunchy, it's a great pack.

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  47. Oh, I do it a different way. I turn them upside down, place the fudge part right on my tongue, the crunch down on the rest with my teeth. (Whole cookie in mouth, mouth closed please!) That gets you the best of both worlds - crunch and fudge!! Yum.

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  48. Stam, I eat them like that too! And everyone thinks I'm weird...at least now I know I'm in good company. :)

    And I will take you up on your kind offer of a soggy shtreimel cookie, despite having eaten since I posted about being hungry.

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  49. hey i just was reading the comments and i think its funny how u went from discussing the whole shidduch letter that u got from ur seminary which i think i went to also(db or afiki-rite??) and got into a whole conversation abt cookies!!! btw does anyone remm when they made stella dora cookies milchig for awhile and then switched it cuz the jews in brklyn werent buyin them!! ahhh look at the power jews have :)

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  51. I'm beginning to feel bad for all the other cookies! I happen to enjoy the Golden UhOh Oreos - They are white cookies with chocolate cream. But that is certainly not the cookie I would choose as "my cookie".
    As Ezzie told me today - you need a cookie that tastes exactly how it looks. I guess there are no secrets with me :)

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  52. Well you see, a good shidduch is like a good cookie...

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  53. **shaking head in disay**
    "a few very annoying aspects"

    Where you see "annoying"...I see character!

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  54. **shaking head in disay as I realize that I mis-spelled dismay**

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  56. Ooh, fresh powdered-sugar cookies sound much better than soggy shtreimel cookies. Thanks for sharing!

    Btw, for the record, Stella D'oro never actually changed their recipe from pareve to milchig, but they were going to, so they changed their packaging in anticipation of the switch. Then, there was such an uproar (and drop in sales) that they decided not to change after all, but they already had tons of packaging that said OU-D, so they just used it up.

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  57. pffffft, please, I have more than enough time to comm..."JETSOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOON!!!"...uh oh, gotta go

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  58. So much to say, where to start...

    c! - Jews. Always with the power...

    iPay - You mean you wouldn't choose a cookie that has a nice exterior but dark interior? Eh, I'm not so sure about that... :P

    G - Wait, who was talking about shidduchim?

    Character can be annoying!

    And darn it, I was going to make the same dismayed comment...!

    Stam - Clearly not.

    Scraps - I thought you said you have low standards! :P

    G - Haha!

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  59. Have a great shabbos everyone! I hope that you all get some yummy cookies for dessert in the next 24(ish) hours!

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  61. Stam, if I was making cookies for Shabbos, I'd offer you one. I have a package of shtreimel cookies somewhere in my cabinet, I think...

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  62. this is sooo not over people! you all have to wait and see if I hear anything back from my seminary!

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  63. Oh man. I was told to shut up on my own blog!

    I think y'all should tell us what kind of cookies YOU are. It's not fair that we've only heard from me, G, and other people (in the other post above). Come on!

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  64. Oh man. I was told to shut up on my own blog!

    Poor Ez, now there no place to go for sanctuary.

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  65. Oh man. I was told to shut up on my own blog!

    Poor Ez, now there no place to go for sanctuary.

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  66. LOL. (Jerk.)

    Do you sit there hitting refresh all day!?

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  68. Stam. Come on... cookies are an integral part of our lives. And Stella Doras just happen to be the best ones there are!

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  70. On a Friday @ 6:30, yeah pretty much.

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