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Wednesday, March 26, 2008

Moving

A friend asked me yesterday an interesting question, not because I haven't been asked it before, but because of a couple of small, 'nothing' stories that happened recently that I thought said a lot.

My friend asked simply "What moves you?"

I've noticed that it's often the little things that 'move' me far more than anything else. The example I gave was a person taking an extra second, or a bit of extra care, to make sure someone was happy, that everything was okay, that they have what they need - that moves me more than (say) a large charitable organization doing what it sets out to do [however amazing that is].

I'll give a quick example from Shabbos. Friday night, while MordyS, G, and myself were davening in the non-post-Purim-Carlebach minyan behind the mechitza (long story), I noticed at the front left of what during the day is the women's section two young men sitting and davening with the front minyan. The one on the left was a regular, the other was a visitor, sitting alone. The one on the left asked the visitor a couple of questions about himself, then asked where he was eating that night; he pointed to the man just in front of the mechitza and responded he was eating by his brother, and the regular said "Oh well, I was going to ask if you wanted to come to us." I couldn't help but smile at the whole exchange.

The next day, as we were leaving shul, G tells me that he liked the shul (and not just because it was over after an hour and a half). I asked why, and he explained that after davening ended, the man on the table he was at asked him simply: "Hi; What's your name; Where are you from; Do you have a place to eat?" Now, this is not a shul that rarely has guests - every week, there are a large number of people who aren't regulars at the shul, there are plenty of new people constantly (KGH is a transient neighborhood with many young people in particular constantly moving in and out), and it's often hard to know if the person next to you is new or has been living next door for ten years. Odds are, people there have places to eat, usually their own house. This isn't the Young Israel of Cleveland where you know that someone is from "out-of-town" and not sitting with someone, so there are odds they might need a place to eat. And perhaps it's easier to assume that an "out-of-towner" might need a place for a meal in New York... but I still thought it was a great story.

When my friend asked me what moves me, it is stories like these that immediately rushed to my mind. People showing awareness of others and their needs, or even just something that will make their lives a little easier or nicer: Making a bunch of calls and sleeping on a floor to make sure someone else has a place to stay after a miscommunication - when it's not your problem. Bringing a couple small items that just make life that much easier. Taking someone else's daughter for a walk, or putting her down to sleep, or just keeping her busy for a little while. Inviting people to meals at places where you know it won't be a problem, because it's needed for whatever reason. Offering to switch places to stay when someone wants to go to sleep and everyone else wants to keep going. Not coming along even when you'll be bored to let a friend talk about something privately. Going to check on a friend first even though there are other important things to do. And in just about all of the cases above, these actions were treated as perfectly normal - expected, even - and were done in a rather low key fashion (or joked about). Modestly. Quietly. As if everyone does it.

Those types of 'little' things move me, even though they're rather common among people we know. Heck, all of those last few examples were just from our guests this past weekend. I don't know... this is what moves me.

What moves you?

22 comments:

  1. My friend asked simply "What moves you?"
    =========

    When did you become friends with Renée Zellweger?

    --seriously, who talks like this?!

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  2. Made sense in context.

    --seriously, who talks like this?!

    Firstly, why don't you use italics more often if you know how!? Grr.

    Second, plenty of people.

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  3. PS :P

    PPS Seriously - I really like when people call me and invite me for Shabbos/Yom Tov - I know that I have an open invitation, but it's nice to get the call/e-mail/IM/wall post/text message.

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  4. and not just because it was over after an hour and a half

    Seriously. Grr.

    Great examples, btw. :D

    For real now:
    People demonstrating a passion for kindness and then following it through with action.

    Can there be negative movement as well? Or is that not the question?

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  5. Can there be negative movement as well? Or is that not the question?

    Surely. Like when someone told me how while they were upstate this weekend, a store owner (?) mentioned, upon hearing they'd be by the bungalows, that they no longer do business with those bungalows, because they never got paid for services done in the past. :(

    But that's a very separate issue. I'm focusing positively! :)

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  6. I am moved by interesting, intelligent, and inspirational posts on Serandez. *winning smile*

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  7. This isn't the Young Israel of Cleveland where you know that someone is from "out-of-town"

    I'm confused isn't EVERYONE in Cleveland from out-of-town???

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  8. A)"not because I haven't been asked it before,"

    --you really need to start spending more time with the Y-chromosome brigade...or people who don't talk like charachters out of the latest teen angst TV show:)

    B) I am moved only when acted upon by an unbalanced force
    (Sir Isaac was the man!!)

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  9. Stam, Erachet - :P

    StrongBad - Oy. Not there...!

    G -

    A) Eh. Maybe you should spend more time around 'em. :) Plus, it's out of context.

    B) :::groan:::

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  10. isn't EVERYONE in Cleveland from out-of-town???

    See, I am not the only one who says these things.

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  11. The bigger question, g, is which GUYS talk like this (IRL, not online)!

    What moves me? Regular people keeping their chin up through irregular adversity...in a real, down-to-earth way.

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  12. Btw, does anyone besides for Clevelanders like Cleveland?

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  13. The real question is, do any of the people who talk bad about The Cleveland know from what they speak or are they just spewing forth invective from bodily orifices better left closed.

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  14. When I saw the title I thought this was about you leaving New York. Too much to hope for, I guess.

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  15. I just read G's globtastic glob song to the tune of Beastie's in a-minor... now THAT was moving... (I know i'm very late on this but I had to acknowledge the great use of Beastie Boys for tzedaka)

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  16. At the risk of sounding like I'm just saying "me too!", I'll agree that it is often the little things that people do as a matter of course that really stand out. They're not expecting any fanfare or recognition; they're just being themselves...and acting selflessly and thoughtfully is part of that. I really appreciate when a friend calls up just to say hi or to see how I'm doing, that sort of thing.

    On a grander scale, I am moved by many aspects of Hashem's creation, both great and small. When I stop to appreciate a beautiful day, or a breathtaking view, or a firefly, or a flower, I thank Hashem for letting me live in His world.

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  17. I've noticed the same thing, g. The people who make fun of Cleveland generally haven't LIVED here. The overwhelming majority of Clevelanders as well as non-Clevelanders who live here are very happy.

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  18. Well, better late than never.

    What I want to know is, has anyone who pokes fun of Cleveland tried to live in a smaller frum community with fewer Jewish amenities than Cleveland has?

    I get SO sick of hearing people diss Cleveland. If we had to move, Cleveland would be on our short list. Do those who diss Cleveland do so because of the Jewish community or just to diss Cleveland in general as a city?
    Eh, don't answer. It doesn't matter and it's not going to change my mind anyway.

    We just lost our kosher market. Thank G-d a large chain is working diligently with the Vaad to pick up the slack by Pesach, and ensure that it is done within the strictest standards of kashrut. At least when people leave here, it's typically to make aliyah or because they lost/got a job, not because they're just dying to leave here/move to NY/NJ or something.

    I grew up on the east coast, and to be honest, I don't miss the east coast attitudes.

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