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Sunday, September 10, 2006

Installing Love

I got this in an email... it's a little nerdy, but sappy things are sometimes good.

Technical Support: Yes, ... how can I help you?

Customer: Well, after much consideration, I've decided to install Love. Can
you guide me through the process?

Tech Support: Yes. I can help you. Are you ready to proceed?

Customer: Well, I'm not very technical, but I think I'm ready. What do I do
first?

Tech Support: The first step is to open your Heart. Have you located your
Heart?

Customer: Yes, but there are several other programs running now. Is it okay
to install Love while they are running?

Tech Support: What programs are running ?

Customer: Let's see, I have Past Hurt, Low Self-Esteem, Grudge and
Resentment running right now.

Tech Support: No problem, Love will gradually erase Past Hurt from your
current operating system. It may remain in your permanent memory but it will no
longer disrupt other programs. Love will eventually override Low Self-Esteem
with a module of its own called High Self-Esteem. However, you have to
completely turn off Grudge and Resentment. Those programs prevent Love from
being properly installed. Can you turn those off ?

Customer: I don't know how to turn them off. Can you tell me how?

Tech Support: With pleasure. Go to your start menu and invoke Forgiveness.
Do this as many times as necessary until Grudge and Resentment have been
completely erased.

Customer: Okay, done! Love has started installing itself. Is that normal?

Tech Support: Yes, but remember that you have only the base program. You
need to begin connecting to other Hearts in order to get the upgrades.

Customer: Oops! I have an error message already. It says, "Error - Program
not run on external components." What should I do?

Tech Support: Don't worry. It means that the Love program is set up to run
on Internal Hearts, but has not yet been run on your Heart. In non-technical
terms, it simply means you have to Love yourself before you can Love others.

Customer: So, what should I do?

Tech Support: Pull down Self-Acceptance; then click on the following files: Forgive-Self; Realize Your Worth; and Acknowledge your Limitations.

Customer: Okay, done.

Tech Support: Now, copy them to the "My Heart" directory. The system will overwrite any conflicting files and begin patching faulty programming. Also, you need to delete Verbose Self-Criticism from all directories and empty your Recycle Bin to make sure it is completely gone and never comes back.

Customer: Got it. Hey! My heart is filling up with new files. Smile is
playing on my monitor and Peace and Contentment are copying themselves all over
My Heart. Is this normal?

Tech Support: Sometimes. For others it takes awhile, but eventually
everything gets it at the proper time. So Love is installed and running. One
more thing before we hang up. Love is Freeware. Be sure to give it and its
various modules to everyone you meet. They will in turn share it with others and
return some cool modules back to you.

Customer: Thank you, God.

7 comments:

  1. I feel an alien, warm, and gooshy feeling.

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  2. Oh my goodness! That was probably the most tacky and cliche thing I have ever read. I think I might be a little nausiated right now...
    -OC

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  3. I'm always iffy about Freeware. :)
    Cute email. Hope my wife doesn't read this posting!! :)

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  4. NOT up my alley,but I guess some ppl would like that.

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  5. cute, but careful if you get LOVE in your email box, it's (was) actually a virus.

    ReplyDelete