Maariv: Oh, they turned the whole place sideways. Funny - this setup is a lot roomier, and makes a lot more sense than the normal way. Only in Lander could screwing things around actually make it better. :::sigh:::Not done yet... keep going:
1) He's laining? What happened to the other guy? Uh-oh, this means a lot of oys, like the b'mitzvoysav he just said. Are you yotzei if it's a really yeshivish laining? Wouldn't it be funny if someone corrected him and made him say 'oh'? Will he get the emphasis right at least? Actually, last time I lained, I remember he was pretty good about dikduk - he just sounds really yeshivish about it. Well, that's not as bad, I guess...
2) 127 - it doesn't seem to mean 'a lot', but an actual 127 - it even repeats it. Where did the Persian Empire get out to? Was it really that big? 127 provinces? Must've been small provinces.
3) He's forgetting trup in the first perek? Uh-oh. Why did he stop as if it was the end of the perek a pasuk early? (Yeah, I'm kind of critical of baalei kriah...) He's picking up the pace, nice... He just blew the eichah tune. Ouch.
4) Wow, these women have it bad. Waiting around for the king... why was it considered okay when Dovid did it? Something about how they asked? Whatever.
5) If Esther was just a na'arah, does that mean she was about 12-13 years old? That would mean that Mordechai told her not to tell about herself - but big deal, it's like getting a little girl to keep a secret. Though maybe that is a big deal. But what did she do that any 12-13 year old girl wouldn't? Told everyone to fast? All right, but a strong-willed, dedicated girl would do that... impressive, but not like "Wow". Even the visiting the King under threat of death - I dunno, is that such a big deal when your entire nation is under threat of death? It's not a little thing, but... argh, I wish I could go back in time and see how all of these really happened myself so I could understand them!!
6) Oh, the first Haman. I guess I'll bang. Woo. Hoo. (YAWN) Glad they only do this twice. I wonder if it will be like last year, where nobody realized and the guy just kept going. Heh.Still not done!
7) Hmm... "their laws are different" - but not their names. Interesting.
8) Messed up eichah tune again. Oy.
9) Where did Mordechai get a copy from to give to Esther - and why couldn't she get one herself? And (this happens every year) why is 3/4 of the megillah the setup, and the main part so short near the end?
*) Ironically, I noticed the exact same thing as DovBear - Mordechai's saying, "Perhaps this is why you became queen!" I thought, "Heh - Jews have been coming up with the 'maybe it's because of...' ideas for thousands of years..."
10) How could (according to that story that Haman's sister hit him with garbage and killed herself) anyone possibly make such a mistake? Did Haman and Mordechai look alike? Hmm - maybe it was a covered carriage. But then people wouldn't see who's getting honored. And they should still see it's Haman leading the carriage. It sounds like Mordechai went straight back to the gate - did he change back to sackcloth? When?
11) It says, "Haman niveis" - does this mean he left? Cowered? It has to mean something. Why would he then stand up to beg for his life? Shouldn't he stay prostrated? And what does 'lichbosh' mean here? It doesn't make sense for it to mean sleep with or rape - I can't imagine that there weren't other people in the room serving the king and queen and the #1 man. But capturing makes no sense for the same reason. Unless it's only maidservants and the like in the room, and no guards, because of who is inside... I've never really understood these psukim [and the medrashim etc. don't help at all].I'm tagging Chana, Xvi, Fudge, and PsychoToddler with the night one!
12) Ooo, missed that - gotta read quickly... watermelonwatermelonblahblahblahblahblah
13) It's not so hard to say all of these in one breath... and the chassidish guy across from me pronounces stuff less yeshivish than the baal koreh. Weird. Did they hang them after they were dead? That's kinda gross.
14) Dad always boos by "mas" (tax). Heh - what a conservative. :) Should I? Will anyone get it? Nah - they probably don't even realize what the word means, or if they do, they won't get it. Ah well.
15) All right, enough walking around at 1mph in a circle. Can we finish maariv? WHAM!! There we go. :)