Tuesday, April 22, 2008

Dating, Part I

By my tall (and cynical) friend.
Dating (Part I)

One hot afternoon you get the call
It's your mother's cousin's friend's dog's Uncle Paul
Do I have a girl for you!, exclaims Paul
Probably not, you mutter, I'm sure she's just tall
She's a good girl and from a great family too
And then again, you think, she might be barely five-two
By now you know the lingo: A little quiet means you're talking to yourself
A little heavy means she eats everything on the shelf
But since the next couple days hold no other amusement
You bite back your cynicism and come to an agreement
Paul of course is in seventh heaven
Great! Tomorrow night front door of the Plaza at half past seven


  1. That's not cynical.

    That pessimism bordering on defeatism.

  2. Just to clarify...

    This is not to say I blame him or find fault with the feeling.

    I've been there, I've done that. Hell, who am i kidding...I still DO that:)

  3. Why can't we just go back to how it used to be? Big club to the back of the head. You! MINE!

  4. Do I have a girl for you!

    Hodel, oh Hodel,
    Have I made a match for you!
    He's handsome, he's young!
    Alright, he's 62.
    But he's a nice man, a good catch, true?

    I promise you'll be happy,
    And even if you're not,
    There's more to life than that---
    Don't ask me what.

    Chava, I found him.
    Won't you be a lucky bride!
    He's handsome, he's tall,
    That is from side to side.
    But he's a nice man, a good catch, right?

    You heard he has a temper.
    He'll beat you every night,
    But only when he's sober,
    So you're alright.

    Did you think you'd get a prince?
    Well I do the best I can.
    With no dowry, no money, no family background
    Be glad you got a man!

    Matchmaker, Matchmaker,
    You know that I'm
    Still very young.
    Please, take your time.

    Up to this minute,
    I misunderstood
    That I could get stuck for good.

    Chava and Hodel:
    Dear Yenta,
    See that he's gentle
    You were also a bride.
    It's not that
    I'm sentimental

    Chava and Hodel and Tzeitel:
    It's just that I'm terrified!

    Matchmaker, Matchmaker,
    Plan me no plans
    I'm in no rush
    Maybe I've learned
    Playing with matches
    A girl can get burned
    Bring me no ring
    Groom me no groom
    Find me no find
    Catch me no catch
    Unless he's a matchless match.