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Friday, March 20, 2009

Letter From The Boss

(Hat tip: Josh) [slightly edited]
Letter from the Boss:

As the CEO of this business that employs 140 people, I have accepted the fact that Barack Obama is our new President, and that our taxes and government fees will now increase in a BIG way.

To compensate for this additional overhead, I figure that the clients will have to see an increase in our fees of about 8%. However, since we cannot raise those prices right now due to the dismal state of our economy, we will have to lay off several of our employees instead. This unfortunate economic reality has really been eating at me for a while, as we believe we are family here, and I didn't know how to choose who will have to go.

After giving it considerable thought, this is what I did: I strolled through our parking lot, found 11 Obama bumper stickers on our employees' cars, and have decided these folks will be the first to be laid off. I can't think of a more fair way to approach this problem. They wanted change; I gave it to them.

If you have a better idea, let me know.

Sincerely,
The Boss

8 comments:

  1. ...though on the flip side, these employees have already voted in protection for themselves, as they'll now qualify for a whole host of free stuff. Hmm...

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  2. This is very funny.

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  3. Maybe we could consider such a voter to be a tinok shenishba. Most likely, few in that category took a solid American civics or critical thinking course in their lives.

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  4. Hahahahahaha
    I don't think political bumper stickers are a very good idea. Maybe cuz I dont think much of politics all together...

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  5. Ezzie -

    Do you know of any site that summarizes the various benefits for someone who was recently laid off?

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  6. Anon - The Unemployment website in New York State links to a sister site that has all of that information within New York State. I am not familiar with any other states.

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  7. The NYS Unemployment site is here. I believe they link to the other benefits page once you've logged in and certified that week's benefits.

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