Monday, June 25, 2007

Guardians of our Children

Sephardi Lady has a fascinating post titled Guardianship Dilemma, which discusses a somewhat uncomfortable topic: Whom would you want to take care of your children in case of death (c'v)? She focuses on a different question - would you ask the permission of the person you've chosen to put their name on the will or would you not ask and assume they will step up should the need arise. I really don't know what to think, and there is much to be said for both sides. There are a lot of good points in the comments of SL's post - feel free to add your own.

I'm curious how people choose who they would want to take their child; I'm assuming that people generally pick a sibling [or parents if young enough], which makes great sense, obviously, but I wonder how many seriously consider a friend instead? Often, a large part of that decision is hashkafa (essentially ideals), and I feel that a couple is often closer in hashkafa* to their close friends than to their siblings, in addition to the friends being a closer age match/having kids of their own of similar age [which may or may not make things easier].

Other factors I can think of:
  • Finances
  • Age
  • Number of other children
  • Personalities
  • Location
  • Education
* Feel free to disagree. I just notice that this seems to be the case not only in my family, but with each of my parents, with Serach's family, and with each of her parents... in addition to many other people we know.