Tuesday, September 19, 2006

A Whole Nother Concept...

Remember back in elementary school when grammar worksheets included activities like "Circle the sentence which is grammatically correct?". Okay, well try your hand at this one.

Circle the most grammatically correct sentence:

A) Immediately after collecting the term paper, Dr. Brown assigned a whole
nother report.

B) Immediately after collecting the term paper, Dr. Brown assigned another
whole report.

Okay, I'll admit I'm a bit of a grammar freak. It's not my fault, really. When all my friends were busy melting their brains on Pac-Man, I was competing against my brother in a fast-paced game of Grammar Examiner. Editing skills, spelling, grammar, and punctuation were our after-school "leisure" activities. And, being that we were not informed that it was nerdy to play, we played it. And, might I add, we enjoyed it- thus proving the point that educatoin CAN be fun.

But back to the topic at hand, THERE IS NO SUCH THING AS A WHOLE NOTHER!! I have never met a NOTHER, nor do i wish to! Some rules of grammar can be pardoned in times of dire need, such as ending a sentence with a preposition (though NOT by English professors. I will not mention which college I attend....) Some people, such as Bais Yaakov graduates and pirates, are exempt from grammar rules. However, the prevalence of "a whole nother", even among well-educated and upstanding citizens, is getting on my nerves. Even my father, to whom I've always looked as a grammatical role-model, being that he served as editor of the Yale newspaper for 4 years, has slipped up with the 'nother mistake a few times. Grr!

Of course, my obsession is slightly problematic, in that I dream of moving to Israel, thus raising little Sabra children whose grasp of the English language will undoubtedly be less than appealing. But I guess that's the price I'll have to pay!

Dear reader, please forgive me if I have offended you. (Unless you are an under-educated BY student. Then you must find it in your heart to get up and LEARN something despite your terrible education.) But before writing me off as some fanatic grammarian, think about the future generations, and how their speech might revert back to that of cavemen, if trends such as "a whole nother" are permitted to go unnoticed. Take heed, for the end is near, my friends!