Dear Older Dumber,
HAPPY BIRTHDAY!! Wow - 31 years old.... that's just OLD. And yet, you still look like you're 17, even though you're starting to show some gray in there. I can't believe people asked if you were 18 yet during our Sheva Brachos - and then again more recently. Meanwhile, you're blessed with a wonderful wife (just putting up with you is pretty incredible) and two amazing, cute, smart, and hilarious children (bli ayin hara, et al). Your knack at analyzing sports is almost as good as mine, and your kindness and excellent derech eretz are known to all. I'd write more, but then I'd have to really start embarrassing you, so... Happy Birthday Little Brother. ;)
Love, Your Younger, Bigger, Wiser, Greater Brother - Ethzie (& Search and Rescue/Rerach)
PS I'm now halfway to 45. Pretty scary, if you ask me...