We are looking into hosting a Saturday night singles event sometime in August. We would love to get input from all of you about dos and don'ts for such an event. We have been told to have a "program" and that stuffing guys and girls and snacks in a room will not yield results. We thought of doing something where you have x guys and equal number of girls at each table with questions/conversation starters in the center. As in speed dating, you get a certain amount of time to talk and then at the sound of the bell, the girls get up and switch (to separate) tables and a new group sits down. By doing it in small groups, you are more likely to meet everyone (we are thinking of capping it at 25 of each gender). If you do speed dating, you probably won't come in contact with everyone. Our concern is that the quieter/introvert will not speak up...What is a good amount of time to run such a program? 2-1/2 hours?We are contemplating having it at #####'s house (whose husband is a pulpit Rabbi). On the one hand it is more intimate, on the other will people be weirded out having it at a Rabbi's house? The other choice is hosting it in a shul? Comments? Pros/cons?What kinds of questions can we ask (not to be shared with participants) and what is considered off limits?How young is too young to invite to such an event?
We want people to look at it as a "this is a great way to meet people" event and we will market it as such.Thanks for your insights!
Thursday, May 21, 2009
Running a Singles Event
I received an e-mail a couple of nights ago from someone who is considering running a singles event. They were asking a number of friends for advice as to how to go about doing so, and gave permission to pose the question to the audience here; please speak your mind, as they would love for this to be a success.
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My initial thoughts:
ReplyDeleteIf the whole program is 2.5 hours, you probably want to leave 30-45 minutes or so at the end where people can mingle freely, once they've met everyone.
I'd set a hard end time so there's no pressure to stay or a weariness to want to leave. Everyone knows that it will end at this time.
25 of each gender would be my absolute maximum, and I'd do even less if it's in a house (15-20). You don't want it to feel too crowded.
If there's a way to ensure that each person says a small piece before things move to an overall discussion at each table, it will not only help the introverts speak up, but it will make sure that everyone is hearing some thoughts from everyone, which really lets you get a better idea of the person.
The questions/conversation starters is a bit vague; perhaps a game? (Perhaps a competitive game with a "prize" at the end?) No idea what is good for this.
I think that it would be a good idea to clearly state "casual dress" so that people feel more relaxed and less pressured.
ReplyDeleteAlso, you'd want to set parameters for the age group, so that you don't have 21 year olds mixing with 45 year olds.
I've never been at one, but the one time I was invited the first thing that popped into my mind (and didn't leave) was "what do you wear?" So yeah, definitely make that clear.
ReplyDeleteI'd think less is more, also (15-20) at least for me, personally. Introduce me to more than 10 people and my brain starts making funny noises; more than 15 and smoke comes out the ears.
Well, there are always the classic interview/getting to know you/ice breaker games that you play in summer camp.
ReplyDeletehttp://www.group-games.com/games-by-type
Singles events? lol I thought halacha said orthdox jews have to be as boring as possible! No singles events! XD
ReplyDeleteBTW, isn't dating the opposite of shidduch? Why do you have this categorized as shidduch?
Being young, single, and semi-in that scene:
ReplyDeleteThat is really boring. Really really boring.
And really high pressured. Do something involving instead.
This is what will work (and has numerous studies to back it up).
Divide people into coed groups. Find an activity. A "crazy" activity. An involved activity. Make them have fun in the most inventive ways possible.
A crazy scavenger hunt. Forcing people to come up with an invention- and giving them minimalist tools to build it. Rewrite a scene of Shakespearean drama to include zombies- and then perform it.
Come back in an hour (or two). Have mingling about the activity. If it is a judgable activity, judge.
Laugh a lot.
Rinse, repeat.
Then again, I go to the school where the world's largest Scavenger Hunt actually had a marriage proposal on it...(The couple is now married)