Friends of ours are always looking for good, yet not too expensive places to date or even to just go out with their spouses or friends in New York City; via Chana, here's a great list by Josh and Tamar Grun Vogel of places to go: It's mostly Manhattan-centric and not everything is necessarily cheap, and as they note, obviously not everything is on here, but it's a very good listing overall. Check it out.
Eliezer StrongBad calls the list "impressive".
Not impressed.
ReplyDeleteAt all.
For $16 tonight ($8 per person), if you call ahead, the most exclusive cafe in New York will walk you through what makes for a good coffee in a cupping event.
Now that is what I call panache.
Central Park has Walking Tours.
So does the Village Alliace, the Union Square Partnership, and teh Times Square Business Improvement District. And I beleive every single one of these are free.
All Federal Cases are open to the public. You also can go visit trinity Churches's cemetary (all of them< and take rubbings (call in advance).
Th argentinian Mission/embassy gives free tango lessons.
I think the one of the french societies also shows free french movies in conjunction with NYU. Often College campuses will have a lot of free stuff going on open to the public.
Gallery Hop. Then ask for the artist's contact info and ask if there is an underground Gallery Movement (a lot of cities have underground galleries in wierd places...Such as Shacks and Bathroom Cabinets...)
Pretend you are Ateget. And find things in the normal Realm that are odd or offbeat. And photograph them.
Go to a farmer's market. Buy some food. Go back to someone's apartment together and cook. Get your ethnic, organic, locavore on. Find out what a Ramp is after all.
And for God Sakes People- Go to Williamsburg if you have to- but find better Jazz places. The Fat Cat is a pool hall with Jazz attached. In Manhattan there are only two places to go: Smalls and the Village Vanguard. Yes I am a snob about jazz.
AKA- most people can do better. Most people are not engaged in the world around them. Hence this is the same list I have seen always and forever.
I may not be in New York right this second- but you can better be sure that if you took me to the Whitney right now (not cheap)- that if you were there- you better be able to hold up a conversation about why I am there. Or for that matter- a coffee shop. This is a reflection of you. And yes, as a female person who is curious- I do care about who you are and what you are thinking....Even if only marginally because it is a first date (perhaps it will go nowhere)...
ShanaMaidel - A bit harsh, no? Interesting additions, but I thought it was a good, comprehensive beginning list. Honestly, I grew up here and haven't done about 75% of those things, so maybe I'm not that jaded yet :)
ReplyDeleteAnother one to add to bookstores is Strand, a great place where my husband and I had our first "real" date followed by Starbucks.
If someone has access to a car, the options for free or almost free multiply exponentially - there are some beautiful parks not that far out on Long Island and also to the north that charge nothing during off season (most of the year) and 6 or 7 dollars per car during the peak season. That's the transition from free/cheap dating to free/cheap things to do with your family on the weekends!
The best kinds of free adventures are the ones you stumble upon.
ReplyDelete(But lists are fun too.)
"And for God Sakes People- Go to Williamsburg if you have to- but find better Jazz places. The Fat Cat is a pool hall with Jazz attached. In Manhattan there are only two places to go: Smalls and the Village Vanguard."
ReplyDeleteBullshit. Iridium rocks da house.
Actually I go on very few dates.
ReplyDeleteI currently am not in New York (school stuff).
I have high standards. And the reasons are:
A) I rather just go to starbucks if someone is going to stick to a list. I'm a cheap student and I like coffee. I can even kind of talk about coffee.
B) I've seen similar lists floating around for years. Or parts of them. This may be the first place where everything is in one place, but you can see elements of the same list back at least a year(maybe more, I've been a Netzien on and off for more than half my life) on EndTheMadness and Hashkafah.com. Both of Which have totally different gearings. The fact that this list is only surfacing indicates real problems such as:
C)I've been insulted in the process of being asked on dates. Or outright ignored. There are assumptions often made about me- and then I open my mouth, and it turns out I am nothing like those assumptions. And by nothing, I mean nothing.
A lot of these issues have to do with the fact that yes- I am in the slow process of just going and dragging myself to places of all sorts, in part to discover myself, and often, by myself. And reading. And emailing people.
And trying to go back and figure out what I need to read more of. And see more of, and do more of.
A brief dating story- someone tried to ask me out. In the process, he asked why I was a liberal (actually more libertarian, but that gets complicated and I wasn't going to go explaining this), it isn't very smart of me to be so- I said "because by the sound of it, unlike you, I had read John Stuart Mill." And then I said- "I never have this problem with my friends at school, a good chunk of whom are not Jewish. Stop being chutzpadick with respect to my views."
And here-in lays the problem. I could definitely have a great date (and have turned them down) with someone not Jewish, or not religious. The choices that I make with my friends to go to places and to do specific activities are often those that reveal our personalities, spending habits, values, intellectual (and non-intellectual) pursuits.
This list seems to be bound by what most everyone does. And in fact, even I do what most everyone does on a day to day basis. But for a date- especially one where the purpose is to find out if you are marrying the other person, my desire, and I hope others, would be to go on a date that is a tad more revealing of each others personality. Or at least opening up the possibility of revealing something over time. And not just by talking. But by the whole experience.
You like nature: Great! Help inform your partner early on why by doing nature with them- whatever that means to you.
The sheer fact that I have seen/heard about/even been on a few of these dates makes me disinclined to that list. I'm not one for working the relationship out later.
Working through yourself, find out if the other person is working through his/her issues, and working through the issues of the relationship in the here and now- and you will be fine...
@Jacob_Da_Jew
ReplyDeleteYou may have taste.
Vadermark5 and John Zorn (to the point where I saw his opera) is my speed. What is yours?
... And if you aren't married after 101 dates, you need to find someone else and start over :-)
ReplyDeleteMark
Eliezer StrongBad calls the list "impressive".I certainly would not advise someone to place much credence in any dating reccomendation made by me.
ReplyDeleteWhat I find REALLY impressive is the amount of guys I know who have been dating for several years, but couldn't tell you more than 3 or 4 things to do on a date when prompted.
FWIW, I second the Strand reccomendation; great placde to go IF you are with a fellow bibliophile.
Hello Ezzie & Blog Readers,
ReplyDeleteThank you for placing the list I created on your blog. It is quite insightful to see people’s responses – their dis/likes. At the same time, I do hope that people are sensitive to remember that this was a mere project, with a specific target. I did mention in the introduction that this was created back when I dated and with it still at hand, I figured it can be useful to others who might not have anything accessible (or know what’s in the City/Tri State area).
That said - if it isn’t helpful to your readers (or not “impressive”), I’m sure the prospective dates they go on will have creative ideas of their own for how to spend time and learn each person’s individual personality.
Sincerely, Tamar Grun Vogel
Tamar - I really thought it was great and a nice service. Thanks!
ReplyDeleteYou're most welcome.
ReplyDeleteBest, TGV