...the Ohio State Buckeyes looked over matched in losing a BCS bowl game to a superior opponent from a superior conference - my, oh my, how wondrous are the changes that can take place in the course of a year...
Mr. Blog President, Mrs. Speaker, Members of the ‘Rotation’, and of the House of Readers:
Last year, January 7th, 2008 -- a date which will live in infamy -- the Serandez blog was suddenly and deliberately attacked by the postal stylings, the editorial & commental forces of the Empire of G.
The Serandez blog was at peace with the blogosphere nation and, at the solicitation of Editor Ez, was home to conversations from various individuals on a host of posts and was looking toward the maintenance of peace in this corner of J-Blogland.
Howevah!, attack yesteryear on the blogiian islands has caused severe damage to Serandez’s forces and their altruistic goals. We regret to tell you that very many commenters have been lost (it should be noted that I do not claim responsibility for ALL casualties…no doubt many are my doing but it just seems that the sun has set to a larger degree on commenting in general…more is the pity some would say – I say all for the better!! let us continue to cull the chafe from cream..or metaphors to that effect). In addition, inferior arguments in the comment threads have been repeatedly reportedly torpedoedly on the high seas of the blogosphere between that cold winter evening and the one’s we currently endure.
This past year, the Empire also launched an attack against overly serious posts.
This year, Empire forces attacked the senseless mass publication of an ‘advice’ column posing as a defacto decider of what defines a Torah lifestyle.
This year, Empire forces attacked the continued passing off of hashkafic possibility as halachik necessity.
This year, Empire forces attacked all manner of proper decorum when dealing with dissenting opinion (we’ll have none of that around here!!! DO YOU HEAR ME! NONE!!!!!).
This year, the Empire attacked political rhetoric in brilliant parody after brilliant parody.
This year, the Empire attacked various issues through the use of musical parody...nay, poetry.
This year, the Empire undertook the posting of an eclectic set of opinion, commentary, humor and just flat out weird content as to call into question the very sanity, the stableness of mind, the totality of the mental make-up if you will of the typer of all things that run above his byline.
And this past year, the Empire introduced Al Pacino as the next great voice in developing the Jewish moral compass (quite proud of that one actually::bows::).
The Empire has, therefore, undertaken a surprise offensive extending throughout the Blogific area. The facts of the past year and today speak for themselves. The people of the J-Blogosphere have already formed their opinions (mostly justifiably negative) and well understand the implications to the very life and safety of our nation (again, mostly negative)
As commander in chief of the blog, Sir Ezzward has directed that all measures be taken for our defense. But always will our whole nation remember the character of the onslaught against us.
No matter how long it may take us to overcome this premeditated invasion, the Serandez fellowship and readership in their righteous might will win through to absolute victory (bring it on, I say…bring-it-on).
I believe that I understand the will of the people when I assert that we will not only defend ourselves to the uttermost, but will make it very certain that this form of treachery shall never again endanger us (quite an un-necessary step if you ask me…I think it quite clear that this is one of a kind content being put out, there need not be any fear of further reproduction of this sort from another source).
Hostilities exist. There is no blinking at the fact that our people, our territory, and our interests are in grave danger.
With confidence in the forces at our disposal, with the unbounding determination of our people, we will gain the inevitable triumph -- so help us Bl-g.
I ask that the 'Rotation' declare that since the unprovoked and dastardly attack by G on Monday, January 7th, 2008, a state of war has existed between The Blog and The Empire.