Wednesday, January 21, 2009

Citizens, Countrymen, Let Us Pray...

Almighty Blog, our creator, everything we see and everything we can't see due to a 404 error exists because of you alone. It all comes from you, it all belongs to you. It all exists for your glory. The future is your story. The Blogture tells us, "Hear, oh Israel, the Blog is our Blog; the Blog is one." And you are the compassionate and merciful one. And you are loving to everyone you have hosted.

Now today, we rejoice not only in the J-Blogosphere's peaceful transfer of power for the first time. We celebrate a hinge-point of history with the inauguration of our President of the J-Blogosphere.

We are so grateful to live in this Internet, a medium of unequaled possibility, where the commenter of one of the Founding Bloggers can rise to the highest level of our leadership.

And we know today that The King and a great cloud of Witnesses are shouting in Cleveland.

Give to our new President, he who’s name I dare not let pass my lips w/o prior written consent, the wisdom to lead us with his gut instincts, the courage to lead us with his unabashed arrogance, the compassion to lead us with his, and his alone’s, view of right and wrong. Bless and protect him, his family, himself as Vice President , the Cabinet and every one of our nepotistic, biased and cronyismly selected leaders.

Help us, oh Blog, to remember that we are J-Bloggers, united not by race or religion or blood, but to our commitment to high site-meter stats and comments for all.

When we focus on ourselves, when we fight each other, when we forget you, rejoice in us…for this is the purpose of all posted things. When we presume that our greatness and our prosperity is ours alone, delight in us. When we fail to treat our fellow human beings and all the Earth with the respect that they deserve, we do so only to please you.

And as we face these difficult days ahead, may we have a new lack of clarity in our aims, an eschewment of responsibility in our actions, abstaining humility in our approaches and removing civility in our attitudes, with the hopes that in all things we will differ.

Help to prevent us from sharing, instead to serve and to seek the individualized good of each private blog.

May all people of goodwill today join together in their failing to work for a more just, a more healthy and a more prosperous blogosphere and a peaceful Internet. And may we never forget that each day all blogs and all their posters stand accountable before only themselves.

We now commit our new president and his wife, ******, into your loving care.

I humbly ask this in the name of the one who changed my life, Blog, Blogspot, Wordpress, Blogerish [Yiddish pronunciation], Blogger, who taught us to pray, "Our Blogger who art in cyberspace, posting be thy game, thy kingdom come, thy will be done online as it is in heaven. Google us this day our daily links and forgive us our trespasses as we blame those who trespass against us, and lead us not into temptation, but deliver us from the main stream media, for thine is the kingdom and the power and the glory until a better technological advancement come along."