SJ has a very thoughtful post on empathy, and where do we draw the line on what is proper and what is unhealthy. In discussing this subject recently, I think she also mentioned another factor - how helpful it is or is not. After all, my feeling bad does little or nothing for whomever is affected by a tragedy, does it not? It further strengthens the question: Since I'm not really helping, why be empathetic at all, or more than a certain amount. The passing of R' Henoch Leibowitz yesterday brought this to the forefront of my mind again, as my brother (in Chofetz Chaim) is obviously far greater affected than I.
I have lots to say on the subject, but go over there and give your own input. Interesting discussion...
The tragedy in Scarsdale is what I was thinking of when SJ posted that. It's weird, because a person might feel better if he/she feels that other people understand and mourn his/her loss, but at the same time, it does not really help and only produces more feelings of grief and mourning, doesn't it? Feelings are contagious.
ReplyDeleteOkay, so you're never going to feel sad for anyone just because your feeling sad doesn't "help" them?
ReplyDeleteOkay, so you're never going to feel sad for anyone just because your feeling sad doesn't "help" them?
ReplyDeleteNo, no. It's a question of how much you let your emotions grow. If I'm not personally involved in someone else's tragedy, I'll feel sad for them, but I wouldn't want my emotions to start taking over my whole day, you know?
Of course, at least for me, it's very difficult to control emotions so it's very difficult to set rules and stuff, but I know I don't like to get consumed by emotion, especially if I'm not actually effected but more feeling sad for someone else (even though feeling sad for someone else is legitimate)
ReplyDeleteI was actually responding to what Ezzie said in his post ... but no matter :).
ReplyDeleteOf course, at least for me, it's very difficult to control emotions so it's very difficult to set rules and stuff
Rock on, sister!