Not A Simcha

It's just not a simcha until someone (okay, the whole family) brings out the dog bones and Indian headdresses, not to mention the team of custom-made shirts. Oh, and there were penguins. The big, huge, ice sculptured kind. Mazel tov, Mister and Mrs. G!

Note: Indian headdresses and penguins not pictured. That's just a dog mask. In case anyone's wondering, my gift to G was another win in our fantasy football league, lifting him to 9-1 and dropping me to 4-6.

Uh-Oh

As we're getting ready for G's wedding, Elianna sees Serach putting on her dress and says:

Oh, Imma, I like your dress! So pretty...!

She's only 2-1/2. Oh boy.

To Set Up Or Not

In the Orthodox Jewish world, most people date at least occasionally if not exclusively through a shidduch, which basically means being set up on a date through someone else. Without getting into the whole process and its many advantages and disadvantages, success rate and stupidities, here is the dilemma for casually interested people such as ourselves.

Is it better to set up only matches which you think have a particularly high chance of being successful, or is it better to set up any idea that's reasonable or could work?

In general, our approach has been to take the first route, with less than a handful of exceptions (and those were pretty much failures). Serach has a slightly lower threshold than myself, setting up people if she thinks it's a good idea; I tend to only suggest ideas that I think are very good.

We've found that of the singles we know well, they tend to alternately either prefer this approach or get frustrated by it; guys seem to prefer it more often, while girls seem to be more frustrated. This is probably because guys are getting more calls and having someone else weed out only the best ideas helps them, while girls are more often trying to get dates. One close friend mentioned at lunch last week that he preferred it, and that it also made him much more likely to date someone we suggest, knowing that we wouldn't do so if we didn't think it was worthwhile; another friend wasn't sure, suggesting that he'd prefer to hear any idea and then judge for himself, while simultaneously acknowledging that it was frustrating to constantly be suggested girls that were not even close to matches for him.

Proposition 8

One of the more widely discussed outcomes from this past week's voting around the country is the "Yes" win on Proposition 8 in California. The short version is as follows:

Changes the California Constitution to eliminate the right of same-sex couples to marry in California.

Provides that only marriage between a man and a woman is valid or recognized in California.

To the surprise of many around the country, strongly liberal California passed this measure 52.3% - 47.7%. There are very strong posts about the measure by Northern Light (celebrating the result) and Holy Hyrax (explaining why he thinks Prop 8 passed), while Nephtuli - not discussing Prop 8 per se - explains why he is not against SSM (same-sex marriage) on his blog, though I argued against some of his reasoning in the comments. In addition, HH has some truly troubling links in his post, including a school in Illinois which had 14-year old students attend a pro-homosexuality seminar and sign a confidentiality agreement not to tell their parents.

Personally, I've never understood what the desire is on the part of the gay community. If they wish for equal rights and equal opportunities under the law, they already have this with the advent of civil unions. If gays wish to say there are situations where they are treated differently, such as visitation rights, then work on making those equal as well. But to fight consistently to allow gay marriage is silly: Either argue that the institution of marriage is 'wrong' because it discriminates against any non-monogamous, heterosexual union, or just ignore it. To redefine it to be more broad is simply making the word meaningless, by allowing it to mean whatever suits your goals - and if it must lose all meaning for it to include gays, why would they care to have it at all.

Duck vs. Butterfly

Those of you who know me are aware that I am a bit obsessed with ducks. I love the Aflac commercials, I have rubber ducks on my desk, and I even own a ducky bank (the duck version of a piggy-bank). Some think it is immature and childish; I consider it staying-in-touch-with-the-child-in-me.

Anyway, Elianna was faced with a tough decision the other night. She had to choose between butterfly pajamas and duck pajamas.


After much thought, Elianna decided: "I want the duck one....like Moshe!"

Ah, Nachas!!

"they call me MISTER G"...

...I always liked that scene with Sidney Poitier from "In The Heat of The Night" and thought his signature line would be as good as any to use for this post.

I'm told that there is good reason to inform the greater reading public and try as I might I cannot find a valid reason to dissent - so...

Yeah, I'm getting married tomorrow.........::ahem::...right...So (to quote the Amazing Chandler), How are you?

--Ez has the details should anybody have nothing better to do.

Agudah To Require Fingerprinting

Remember this? Apparently, discussion does have an effect (Jewish Star via VIN):

New York - Originally reported in the Jewish Star, Agudath Israel of America has officially changed its position and now is prepared to actively support mandatory finger-printing and background checks for teachers in yeshivos. Though they did specify that they would like to see how a voluntary bill is enacted before actually supporting the bill. The change follows a wave of publicity orchestrated by Jewish media—newspapers, bloggers, and radio commentators-- that has drawn attention to sex abuse in the Orthodox Jewish community.

Speaking to VIN News, Rabbi Dovid Zwiebel, Agudah's Executive Vice President of Government Affairs explained that when the initial she'ailah was posed to the Rabbinical leaders, Agudah was authorized to support the bill for voluntary fingerprinting but to wait until "the yeshivos that voluntarily opt into the system had some experience with [it]" before either opposing or supporting the mandatory bill.

However, in light of the recent publicity to the issue, Agudah felt that it was in its best interest to support the mandatory bill, in Zweibel's words, in order "avoid the libelous misconception out there in certain parts of the world that we oppose background checks on the people hired by our Yeshivos."

Zwiebel also added that prior to this Agudah sent out mailings to all yeshivos and affiliated day schools across America urging them to do appropriate background checks when they hire their employees.

This is a great step forward, and kudos to the Agudah for taking it.

Pobody & Shake

This past Sunday evening, we attended a beautiful wedding of a pair of good friends of ours, Pobody's Nerfect (a sometime contributor to this blog) and her now husband, Shake. G wrote a great piece a few days ago about sharing simcha; I don't think anyone can doubt that this wedding certainly shared its simcha with all who came (including about twenty people who read this blog at least once in a while). The singer remarked to someone near the end of the long, crazy, third (!) dance - which was not even supposed to happen - that he'd maybe once seen such a pumped-up crowd of friends.

Perhaps most importantly for the future of Pobody & Shake is the recognition that the little couple on their wedding cake, above left, was not representative of what marriage is actually like; instead, Pobody sent me the picture on the right with the comment "We should have had that on our wedding cake!"

Meanwhile, the highlight of the wedding (okay, okay, that didn't involve Pobody or Shake) was obviously the following short video showing the three flower-less flower girls walking down the aisle. In a true testament to Pobody and Shake, the two little girls are daughters of people they would often stay by and whom they consider family, and where they are considered family. I can testify that at least one of those girls was looking forward to this moment for weeks, and had been talking about it non-stop to anyone who would listen. And yes, the boy in the middle holding Elianna's hand is 21 [as of his best friend Shake's wedding day], available, and a mensch.

And of course, from all of us at SerandEz, Mazel Tov to Pobody & Shake!! We love you guys and we'll surely see you pretty soon. :)

Last Chance: VOTE FOR LEAH

Leah Larson of Yaldah Magazine is head-to-head with "Danny from Utah" in Wells Fargo's Someday Stories contest. Danny has way too many contacts, and is planning some sort of college party Friday night to get thousands of votes. Leah has been ahead every week, until Shabbos comes around. That's when Danny jumps ahead by hundreds of votes.

Voting ends Monday, November 10th. Leah needs a big push before Shabbos comes around. Aish.com recently published an article written by Leah about Yaldah.

People always ask me, "How did you do it?" I sometimes ask myself the same question. How can someone so young accomplish something so big? And I think part of the answer is because I was so young. Children have a natural imagination. They're always thinking up big ideas and dreams. It's the adults who try to pound reality into them. If an adult has an idea, they'll usually think through all the little details of what might not work; they're afraid of failure. Kids aren't afraid to take risks and try new things. After all, that's what childhood is all about.

Recently, I’ve been blessed with an incredible opportunity for YALDAH to expand. My mother heard about the “Someday Stories” essay contest sponsored by Wells Fargo Bank, asking people to write about what they would do with $100,000. My mother wrote about how with that money Yaldah could expand and offer so much more to Jewish girls.

I was thrilled to find out that I was one of five finalists from over 10,000 entries. Wells Fargo came to my house for a day to video, and came in their signature stagecoach! They posted a short video about each finalist on their website, and for over seven weeks people can vote for which finalist should win the $100,000.

Winning $100,000 would take off the burden of constantly having to fundraise to cover our expensive printing costs. We’d be able to expand to publish more books for girls, publish longer issues more often, pay professional staff, keep subscription costs affordable, offer scholarships to our Jewish girls’ retreats, and so much more.

The support and unity of the Jewish community could help me win. You can vote today (there are only a few days left, voting ends November 10th) at www.wellsfargo.com/somedaystories (it’s under my mother’s name, Evelyn from Sharon,MA).

Please click the link and vote today. You can vote with any valid email address and zip code. If you are located in Israel, use any US Zip Code, or you can use 02067 - that's Sharon, MA. Pass on the link and ask everyone you know to vote.

Ezzie's Blog Roundup 11/6: NYC, Wigs, and The Far Side

It's always interesting to read two pieces on different sides of an issue around the same time, particularly if they have taken the same words and interpreted them completely differently.

VinNews and YeshivaWorld have both reported on R' Kanievsky's statement on President-elect Barack Obama. VN:

In an apparent response to requests for guidance regarding the issue, Rabbi Kanievsky compared Sen. Obama to King Hordus, who rose from humble origins to become king of ancient Israel and build the Beis Hamikdash.

YW, with much editorializing:

Maran Hagon Rav Chaim Kanievsky Shlita is quoted as having said [on Wednesday] - following the election of Senator Barack Obama as America’s next president, that this is not the first time that a black person was elected to a leadership post, ‘News1′ reports.

Yiddishkeit believes a person with black skin is a descendant of Cham, the son of Noach, upon who it is written “he will serve his brother”. Rav Kanievsky stated in regard to the president-elect that he will be a “servant who rules”, adding there is a historical precedent with King Herod (Hurdus), who was also black. “Herod made Tzaros for Am Yisrael, but he also built the Beis HaMikdosh” stated the Rav.

I'm pretty sure that YW added in all the black/Cham garbage.

Elsewhere... Erachet defends New York and its people, in a very well-argued post. On the other hand, I'm not sure people mean to include Long Island (or Connecticut) when they cite the problems of New York. On the flip side, EsPes shows that insensitivity can happen even in the far-flung reaches of "out of town".

Meanwhile, R' Gil and Josh Waxman each discuss from a halachic and historic point of view the ruling of R' Elyashiv on wigs (where he says they are absolutely not allowed). Both are interesting reads, and if you own a wig, you may want to discuss it with your Rav before burning it.

Also via Josh comes this funny piece in the NY Times that discusses social scientists' surprising (to them) results that conservatives get humor better than liberals. From the Times piece:

Another possible explanation is that conservatives, or at least the ones in Boston, really aren’t the stiffs they’re made out to be by social scientists. When these scientists analyze conservatives, they can sound like Victorians describing headhunters in Borneo. They try to be objective, but it’s an alien culture.

The studies hailing liberals’ nonconformity and “openness to ideas” have been done by social scientists working in a culture that’s remarkably homogenous politically. Democrats outnumber Republicans by at least seven to one on social science and humanities faculties, according to studies by Daniel Klein, an economist at George Mason University. If you’re a professor who truly “seeks new experiences,” try going into a faculty club today and passing out McCain-Palin buttons.

Finally, Baruch sent me this strong piece by Joe Scarborough on MSNBC which is worth watching whatever you feel about the election. It's not too long and it makes some very important points quite well. It is not a discussion of policies, but a commentary on how people react when they "win", and is a worthwhile lesson in so many aspects of life.

It's her party

To the girl to whom we all owe thanks for keeping this tanking economy afloat, have a most magnificent and colorful birthday, and may this next year bring you lots of happiness, satisfaction, love, friendship, and peace, and last but not least, true and wise enjoyment of all that this world has to offer.

Happy birthday, iPaytoomuchformyhair!

The Histories of Shakespeare (abridged)

"Why can't Shakespeare be more like sports? That's why I like the Histories! The kings all have these battles and kill each other and pass the throne on...

It's like football, only with - crowns."

(paraphrased from The Complete Works of William Shakespeare Abridged)

The Far Side...

...a few days late and perhaps a few zuzim short, but I think it is still a nice thought that is worth putting out there:

Okay, so God has decided that it is time for a cosmic do-over of sorts. The world has gone all Escape From New York/L.A. and it's time to wipe the Etch-A-Sketch clean and start again. Alone from amongst the mob Noach is chosen to survive, along with his family, and begin anew the world.

So - Noach builds an ark (a what? - an ark, a what? - an ark, oooooh, an ark). Down comes the rain and wipes out slightly more than just the spiders for 40 days and 40 nights. Now it is time for the Noahides to disembark from said ark and literally start from scratch.

The first thing that Noach does is build an alter and bring sacrifices to God - seems like a good way to begin the new world, by recognizing the Lord and giving thanks to Him.

But then the story takes an interesting and ultimately sad turn. After having done the most appropriate first act, which was focused on God, he then moves on to his second act, which will be focused on man - and that is when it all comes apart:

וַיָּחֶל נֹחַ, אִישׁ הָאֲדָמָה; וַיִּטַּע, כָּרֶם
וַיֵּשְׁתְּ מִן-הַיַּיִן, וַיִּשְׁכָּר; וַיִּתְגַּל, בְּתוֹךְ אָהֳלֹה.
And Noah the husbandman began, and planted a vineyard. And he drank of the wine, and was drunken; and he was uncovered within his tent

וַיַּרְא, חָם אֲבִי כְנַעַן, אֵת, עֶרְוַת אָבִיו; וַיַּגֵּד לִשְׁנֵי-אֶחָיו, בַּחוּץ.ַיִּקַּח שֵׁם וָיֶפֶת אֶת-הַשִּׂמְלָה, וַיָּשִׂימוּ עַל-שְׁכֶם שְׁנֵיהֶם, וַיֵּלְכוּ אֲחֹרַנִּית, וַיְכַסּוּ אֵת עֶרְוַת אֲבִיהֶם; וּפְנֵיהֶם, אֲחֹרַנִּית
וְעֶרְוַת אֲבִיהֶם, לֹא רָאוּ
And Ham, the father of Canaan, saw the nakedness of his father, and told his two brethren without. And Shem and Japheth took a garment, and laid it upon both their shoulders, and went backward, and covered the nakedness of their father; and their faces were backward, and they saw not their father's nakedness.

To quote Mr. Burgundy, "Boy, that escalated quickly... I mean, that really got out of hand fast. "

I mean c'mon, whaaa happen? Noach seems to have been a smart man, a responsible man if nothing else. It does not strike me as probable that he got off the cruise, goes to all the trouble of building an alter and sacrificing animals to God AND THEN decides, "Boy, y'know, I could really go for a stiff drink right about now. I just need to unwind a little after all that." I'm sorry, it just doesn't flow from were I'm typing.

Sooooooo, what did in fact go down in those first moments of civilization reborn?

My father likes to say the following:
Noach disembarks from the teyva and, as is correct, first turns his attention towards God. Then he must have looked around and tried to take stock what was before him and what was ahead of him. Noach looks around and sees a world that is desolate, that literally has nothing left. What was the most important and impactful thing that he could do at this most seminal point in history.

Noach plants a vineyard. Not because he needed a drink, but because he realized that it could bring into existence the one thing that the world needed most at that time...Simcha. The world needed a little joy...a renewed sense of happiness. That was why he went about making wine as his first act in the new world. Noach wanted to instill with his first productive act that the focal point of everything, after service to God, is to be happy...to enjoy the world...to feel simcha in the world. It would have been very easy to be sad and despondent, both about what had happened and what lay ahead. Yet Noach sensed that that would not have the correct course and so went about creating a more productive one, one that he felt was instrumental in building a new world that would be one that would endure. And so he planted his vineyard and made his wine because as is well known "ein simcha elah b'yayin", "there is no happiness but with wine".

Ah, but unfortunately at that crucial moment Noach made a grave mistake. Read the pasuk above: what did he do with that wine? where did he go with it? Into his tent went Noach, and with him went the simcha he was trying to bring into the world.

You know Simcha is a funny thing, very unique in its properties. Most things in this world if you take what you have and divide it up, or give some away to others you have less of the thing in question than you did when you started. Simcha on the other hand works in exactly the opposite way. No matter how much of it you have the more you share it or divide it the larger it gets. Not just that more people have some but that in total it is greater than it ever was to begin with.

So Noach was absolutely right in his original action and his thought process, where he got into trouble was in his execution. He took the wine and the possibility for the simcha that it could create and he went into his tent by himself. He did not attempt to share it with the world , to increase it, to allow it permeate what was at that time and place a sad, cold existence that needed it more than it needed anything else. And that was why it ended up getting him, and others by extension, into trouble. Simcha is a powerful tool and it is meant to be shared, and when it is it can have wonderful effects that can impact the very world we live in. But if one is selfish with it, is unwilling to include others in it, well then it is not simcha at all...it's just a person having a drink.

Looking Ahead

Just before Barack Obama got up to speak last night, I noted that his speech will be very important in where it focuses its attention. If it would mention the "failed policies of the last eight years", it would be a disaster. If it would talk about working together to move forward, it could be good. Thankfully, President-elect Obama chose the latter route.

While it was an altogether rather boring speech, with a couple of oddities - the emphasis on the thanks to his internal campaign team was somewhat disconcerting, and the "Yes we can" bit at the end was rather forced and lame (perhaps because he seemed understandably exhausted) - the overall message was reasonable and hopeful for those of us who did not vote Obama yesterday.

Today's Wall Street Journal has a pair of good pieces today that I think hint at what President-elect Obama's first responsibilities and tasks should be. The second one, written by former Vice President Al Gore with David Blood, will have to wait until after he is President: Promoting sustainable capitalism. While perhaps Mr. Gore has different ways of doing so when one looks at the details, it certainly behooves Mr. Obama to understand what policies will promote sustainable capitalism and which ones will not.

But it is the first piece, written by a lawyer who interned for Senator John Kerry, which notes what a disgrace the treatment of George W. Bush, the President of the United States, has been for years. President Clinton certainly took away some of the respect for office in this country, but it was the disrespect accorded to President Bush on a consistent basis by citizens of this country that has gone beyond the pale. In the end, however, it is up to Mr. Obama to resurrect the respect given to a President now in order to ensure that he is given the respect he deserves the next four years.

For the sake of our country, it is time to look ahead.

2008 Live Election Results Map

Via JoshWaxman, this is cool and reasonably useful, showing actual results (rather than polls). Enjoy!

Of Course

Please go fulfill your civic duty and vote, whomever you are voting for. It is always best if politicians are representing as much of the electorate as possible, whether they are local politicians or Presidents of the country. The more they understand they are responsible to all voters and not merely interest groups, the better it is for all citizens.

Why I'm Voting Against... Me

I'm an unemployed, married, 25-year old father of two beautiful little girls, ages 2-1/2 and 5 months. I'm also a registered Democrat, though that's somewhat misleading - while I've voted for far more Democrats than Republicans, I did cast my vote for George W. Bush in 2004, and tend to lean to the right on numerous issues. At the same time, it seems to be rather clear that my family would be substantially better off if Barack Obama were to become the next President of the United States - which is possibly a perfect example of why we should vote for John McCain.

Thank God, I'm a reasonably talented, able-bodied individual capable of performing most tasks. I'm certainly not a stupid person - as an easy example, I scored an 800 on the Math section of the SATs. However, at this point in my career, it makes more sense for me to stay home and watch my daughter while my wife works about 23 hours a week than to get a job. In fact, I'd have to make approximately $60,000 a year before taxes for it to be worth my while to get a job... and that's before factoring in the fact that I'd much rather sit at home and play with my daughters every day than sit in an office cubicle designing Excel templates (and I'm enough of a nerd that I enjoy that).

Barack Obama, if he wins, will be President of the United States with a strong Democratic majority in both the Senate and the House of Representatives. He will be able to pass nearly any policy he wishes to, and there is no reason to assume that he would not try to implement the change he has been promising to deliver all along. This change, which includes actual tax credits - money that the government gives to people below a certain threshold, formerly known as welfare - would make it so that over half the country would be taking more from the government than they pay into it. Tens of millions of people would be like me: Better off not working or working minimally, even if they could contribute greatly to American society, ingenuity, and overall production.

Currently, 32% of Americans - a far higher rate than ever before - have zero or negative income tax liability. This number would break 50% under a President Obama. That translates into less than half the country supporting the other half plus. For those people who are successful, the effective earnings rate for additional dollars earned would drop to under 40% after taxes (federal, state, local, SocSec, etc.). This means that for every ten dollars a person would earn, they would keep less than $4, while the government would take the other $6+ and give that money to others. In essence, less than half the country - those who are the most productive, who contribute the most to society - will be responsible for the upkeep of not only themselves and their families, but the US government, the majority of the country who will be under that threshold, Social Security payments, and health care for everyone. At what point will these people simply decide that they are better off either living elsewhere to keep some of their money or that it's not worthwhile to work as hard as they do for little extra gain?

Moreover, Senator Obama has suggested that to raise some of the $4.3 trillion [$1.0t deficit, $1.32t tax credits/seniors, $1.63t Medicaid expansion, $1.4t other programs] he needs to pay for his plans, he would close loopholes for corporations to pull in another $924.1 billion. While it is highly doubtful that this is possible (it requires an estimated 25% increase in corporate taxes simply by closing loopholes), the more important issue to note is that corporations are responsible for most of the products and jobs in this country. Corporations simply do not pay taxes - taxes are just another expense they factor in when determining how much they need to charge for products and how many workers it pays to have. Any increase in corporate taxes, dividends (Obama proposes to raise the 15% rate to as high as 28%), or the like will simply result in higher expenses for the rest of the country that consumes those products - people like us.

Today will be one of the most pivotal days in United States history. The outcome of today's election will determine how this country pursues the war on terror, who gets appointed to the Supreme Court in a time when issues such as gay marriage and partial-birth abortion may come before the Court, and what economic policies this country pursues. Will we switch to a more government-run health care system? Will we promote individual choice? Will we encourage people to work more or work less?

My wife and I are heading out to vote in a few minutes, and I'll be voting for John McCain. Should he lose... well, we can make do. Getting paid to play with my daughters isn't a bad deal - unless you're the one working to pay for it.

Ramblings from a Travel-Logged Mind

This past weekend we drove from Baltimore to Chicago for my nephew’s Bar Mitzvah. When I say weekend, I literally mean weekend—as in three days.

Because of issues with my husband’s job, we didn’t get to leave Baltimore until after 11:00 PM Thursday night. Unfortunately, neither one of us had a chance to take a short nap during the day (in addition to packing, I had to deal with a four-hour car emergency when my tire got a nail in it, and then the tire couldn’t be repaired because of the location of the nail and instead had to be replaced entirely), so we were both bombed by the time was started the trip. Between stopping every hour or so to rest, get coffee, close our eyes “for just a minute,” and/or to switch drivers, it ultimately took us about 15 hours to reach our destination.

We arrived in Chicago a few hours before Shabbos and began packing to leave as soon as Shabbos was over. Two hours after that we were in the car on our way back to Baltimore—once again with multiple stops because we were tired and hadn’t slept much that weekend. All in all, we figured that we spent about as much time traveling TO the Bar Mitzvah as we spent in Chicago AT the Bar Mitzvah itself! (We had to leave Saturday night because of work-related issues that necessitated my husband to be at work bright and early Monday AM.)

We’re not sure exactly how long the return trip lasted; between the time zone difference of EST and CST, and then with the clock change early Sunday AM, we were having major time/clock/accounting issues!

Despite the travel issue, we had a great time at the Bar Mitzvah. It was so nice to see and spend time with the family—albeit briefly. It was also great to see my niece, the Bar Mitzvah boy’s younger sister who, as I told you two weeks ago on this blog, was recently diagnosed with leukemia (please continue to daven for her: Dina Sora bas Shayna Mira. . .thanks!). It’s hard to be in Baltimore while our family is struggling to deal with this difficult situation in Chicago. We are very, very close with this part of the family and hate that there isn’t more that we can do to help on a daily basis.

Before I sign off, I’m wondering if anyone knows what the point is of having the large green signs on the side of the roads in PA that say “FALLING ROCK.” Yes, I understand that the roads are surrounded by mountains and cliffs on either side. But if a rock falls down on your car, the bottom line is that nothing could be done about it. And being a wary driver wouldn’t help the matter—even if you were to see the rock falling, there’s no way you could get out of its way fast enough!

A few months ago, I was driving on a two-lane main street near my home. The car next to me swerved onto the shoulder, and I saw some pebbles fly up from behind that car’s rear left wheel. One second later, one of those pebbles hit my windshield and made a tiny crack in it. There was no way that I could do anything about that tiny pebble, so how on earth would I be able to do anything about a large rock falling from a cliff???

Any suggestions or logical reasons for this would be greatly appreciated.

Best Lines From Shabbos Kallah

After a really nice - and shockingly calm! - Shabbos Kallah weekend for Pobody's Nerfect, keyed by an 18-course lunch at the Raggedies, it is only fitting that the best lines from the weekend be posted here:

Pobody's Nerfect: [telling story] ...it was... What holiday is in June?
Endless Talker: July 4th.

Ezzie: Wow... fourteen years ago I was 11.
Erachet: No you weren't.
Ezzie: I'm 25. Yes I was.
Erachet: No, 11+14 = 26.
Ezzie, others: {staring}

Conversation that has not happened... yet:

Random guy Erachet doesn't really like: So, think we should get married?
Erachet: [NO!] Umm... okay?

Last week's bonus (the clean one)...

Spiritual Girl to Elianna, eating rice: Ha'im hakitniyot taim!?
Elianna: {confused look}
Serach: Did you just ask that?
SG: What? Isn't that what it's called?

Final Essays

Senators John McCain and Barack Obama in today's WSJ.