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Showing posts with label 5 Towns. Show all posts
Showing posts with label 5 Towns. Show all posts

Wednesday, February 23, 2011

ShulLists.com

Via Josh Lintz, ShulLists a great site which condenses the posts from many of the various tri-state area shul listings (TeaneckShuls, FiveTownShuls, KGHShuls, etc.) and puts them all in one, organized place. This is really useful for people who know what they're looking for and is a lot easier to skim through, and can be sorted by area as well as type. All in all, very nice and very useful.

From their About Us page:
Shullists was created in 2011 with the aim of providing a consolidated and simplified inbox of shul and community message boards in order to facilitate the wider spread of information in the Jewish community. Some of our services include:
-Numerous flexible search capabilities
-Posts can be consolidated by subject matter across multiple geographic locations
-Live Twitter feed with hash tags to follow sources of interest in real time.
-A facebook profile you can choose to "friend"
-Privacy settings that prevent personal data from being scraped by web marketers or search engines
We have attempted to maximize ease of use for the benefit of our users. If you have any suggestions on how to improve our services, we would love to hear from you. If you have a bulletin board you would like us to add to this service, we would also be interested to hear about it. Please feel free to contact us.
Sincerely,
The Shullists Administrators

Monday, July 13, 2009

Carlos & Gabby's Review

Carlos & Gabby's opened up in Kew Gardens Hills in Queens*, and since a countless number of friends had been hyping the one in the Five Towns, we decided to do takeout. We split the Honey BBQ Zingers, Serach got The Texas Wrangler, Elianna got a hot dog, and I got the Boneless BBQ Rib Platter.

The hot dog was good (I took a bite), Serach said the Wrangler was great, which many friends had said, the Zingers were excellent, and the BBQ ribs weren't amazing, but they were pretty good. Others have suggested the regular Zinger and the Cedarhurst sub as excellent choices.

Shortly afterward, iPay tells me she's picking up food from there (after saying how amazing it is), and then GS calls and asks if I could pick up for him and bring it over, since I'm watching the HR Derby at his apartment. We're going to count how many HRs go over the SpongeTech sign in right-center field for Rea, who loves that they're in just about every Major League stadium. Elianna is obsessed with the SpongeBob sponge, which makes baths a whole lot easier. Meanwhile, I'll snack on more C&G's. :)

* UPDATE: It's located on Main Street past Supersol, at 67-11 Main Street. The phone number is (718) 575-8226.

Saturday, March 07, 2009

R' Feitman on Yoatzot Halacha: Second Letter

In this past week's Five Towns Jewish Times, there was a piece published by R' Yaakov Feitman (formerly the Rav of my parents' shul in Cleveland, currently the Rav of "The Red Shul" in the Five Towns) about the issue of Yoatzot Halachah - female halachic advisors. Upon reading the article, I will readily state that I was less than impressed by the arguments cited. Certainly, the examples of a shtender or the tzuras haDaf as examples of not altering our mesorah came off poorly; as commenters on the piece noted, it is difficult to imagine that Moshe Rabbeinu learned at a shtender or that a form created by a non-Jew to allow for easier printing is somehow such an important part of our tradition. Furthermore, only after a later closer reading was it clearer just how R' Feitman intended the role of the rebbetzin and how that was quite dissimilar to that of the proposed yoetzet. Prior to that, my reaction had been to wonder how what he described was different than what was expected of a yoetzet.

Between my own confusion as to his article and after reading other (disrespectful) criticisms elsewhere, I decided to contact R' Feitman asking for a clarification: [e-mail was sent to Rebbetzin Feitman; only relevant parts included]
I'm writing because I feel like your husband is going to get harshly criticized for the Yoetzet piece in the 5TJT. [...] the substance of the piece comes off rather weakly, I have to say. A careful reading suggests that a few points come off a little differently than he may have intended, so perhaps a clarification would help, though certain points simply don't work well.

Not sure why I'm writing this, just felt somewhat frustrated reading it originally. Perhaps R' Feitman could rewrite it in a way that comes off more clearly? I don't know. But it felt important enough to comment to you/him about.
R' Feitman wrote a letter in response to me, beginning with a simple statement noting that he has no further intention in responding in any way, feeling that he has said what he needs to say and is moving on to other things. He then shared a few thoughts for my own sake, but allowed me to quote him if I felt it would be productive. As I had a much greater understanding of his position after reading the points he made, I have decided that the same may be true for others and have decided to do so. [again, only relevant portions included]
Dear Ezzie:

Sholom Aleichem.

[...]

Regarding your e-mail and my article, [...] I actually have no intention of further responding in any way. I said what I needed to say and am moving on to other things.

However, for your sake only, I will share a few thoughts. Feel free to quote me if you feel it will be productive:

1. I purposely did not cite sources.

Much of Torah decision-making and Hashkafah positions are more related to the essence of the Torah and elemental issues than to a particular footnote. It is famous that Poskim treated the "Yirah Li" ("I believe") of the Rosh as a stronger statement than when he sourced his P'sak. There is a famous story to this effect as well with Rav Chaim Soloveitchik and Rav Chaim Ozer Grodjenski. As a matter of fact, Rav Soloveitchik ZTL used this method in responding to Ben Gurion's famous "Who is a Jew?" query. He chose to answer succinctly and with almost no sources jointly with Rav Chaim Heller. The point he was making was
  • a. There is no need for us both to respond since this is basic and there is only one Torah;
  • b. This does not require lengthy analysis or pilpul. It is self-evident-poshut.
2. The points about women being more comfortable with a woman than with a man are of course all valid. My only contention was that this has certainly not gotten worse in recent times. If anything, I believe the opposite is true and there IS a time-honored approach to this matter. I am well aware that Nishmat advocates that the Yoatzot turn to a Posek for complicated or novel issues. However, this is not enough. The sense from the Nishmat web site and literature is that they believe their training is sufficient for the overwhelming majority of Shaalos. This is simply not true. They provide a great deal of INFORMATION. However, even basic P'sak often involves methodology and training far beyond the purvey of those with a thousand or even two thousand hours of study. It is, of course, true that not every Rov is a Posek or the expert we all ought to be. But that does not justify ejecting millenia of tradition.

3. I never, obviously, would claim that a shtender, Tzuras Hadaf or particular type of shiur was the sine qua non of Torah study but the point I was making was that Tzurah or form is part of the tradition of Torah. Clearly, there are numerous legitimate forms -- Chassidim, Sepahardim, Hungarians, Litvaks each maintain authentic but different Tzuros. However, each of those groups would be guilty of a lapse in their own Mesorah if one of their leaders unilaterally cancelled his own tradition even in favor of one of the others. Rav Hershel Schechter, who speaks often in my Shul, has written eloquently in his Nefesh Harav (in the name of the Rov) and especially in his lengthy essay "Tz'ei Lach B'ikvei Hatzon" of the requirement in Torah of emulating earlier generations in both format and substance. This applies most urgently to this subject because we are speaking about the Mesoras Hatorah. We have nothing more sacred than this.

4. Another source which I did not quote (but of course could have) is the famous Yam Shel Shlomo No.9 on the Gemara in Bava Kamma 38a which seems to indicate Jewish bias toward gentiles concerning monetary matters. The Maharshal in this sefer asks, why couldn’t the rabbis have simply withheld the one Mishnah in all of Shas which caused difficulty? The answer, he writes, is that when it comes to presenting the Torah accurately even a sin of omission is as bad as a sin of commission, and may not be utilized even if it means putting all of k'lal yisroel into danger. Analogies are always imperfect and dangerous but it is clear from this Gemara and Maharshal that one must be extraordinarily careful when tampering with any Mesorah.

Those who make the point about changes brought about by individuals such as Sarah Schnierer etc. are correct. However, she did go to the Chofetz Chaim, Gerrer Rebbe and others, the Gedolei and Ziknei HaDor, who with the the most profound of gravity, decided that these innovations were acceptable and necessary for the survival of K’lal Yisroel. This process has certainly not happened with the Yoatzot.

There is much more but it is Erev Shabbos [...]

B'ahava,

Rabbi Yaakov Feitman
At this point it is important to remember what R' Feitman's original intent was in publishing the article in the 5TJT:
...Since this was reported without critical comment or dissent, I feel that an alternative view must be presented to your readers. So please consider this article a macha’ah—one man’s protest and disagreement with the “rave reviews” this project has reportedly received.
His intent was not and does not seem to be to pasken or say with finality that the idea of a yoetzet is anathema to and must be rejected as an attack on Jewish tradition. Rather, he seems to be simply noting an alternative way of looking at the issue by making a few succint points about how it seems to have come about and what the purpose of it is, by questioning why it is necessary and what it really adds. This does not mean that there is no merit to the other side of the discussion, but merely questions whether those merits outweigh or countermand the tradition that is already in place and properly address the other points that have been raised. Certainly, it is worthwhile to think about these issues from both sides before rushing to judgment either way.

Thursday, December 11, 2008

"Cancel My Pedicure?!?!...

...YOU ANIMAL!!!"

A friend e-mailed me this with the message, " I tried very hard to feel bad for Simcha's wife, but..." proving once again that he is a much better person than I. He tried to feel bad...I tried not to laugh my head off.

From the 5 Towns Jewish Times:
"Dear Esther, I know that things are pretty bad out there in today’s economy, but somehow I never really thought it would affect me personally. Silly me.

I’ve been married for 13 years and am in my thirties. My husband, “Simcha,” has always been a self-made man. He’s always been a macher, doing this and that. Some of what he did I understood and, honestly, some of what he did I never really understood. All I knew was that he earned a very good living and we lived a very lavish lifestyle.

I didn’t grow up with very much. My father had a menial job in a store and my mother always babysat to bring in extra cash. My siblings and I worked from an early age in order to buy for ourselves all the things that we wanted, like nice clothing and even some basic things. When I married Simcha, who is six years older than I am, my life changed completely. I didn’t have to work anymore, and I could just go out and buy whatever I wanted, whenever I wanted. Simcha is a generous man and never questioned my lavish spending. We moved into this neighborhood, started befriending other young, successful couples, and lived a fairytale life. At least I now know that it was fairytale. At the time, although I was very grateful for everything that we had and did, I think on some level I took it for granted that life would always continue the way it was.

Recently, Simcha has informed me that our spending is now under “lockdown.” He has told me that any purchase over $50 must be very carefully considered and made only if absolutely necessary. He wants me to cancel my personal trainer, my weekly manicure/pedicure appointments, my monthly salon appointments, and my yoga lessons; he wants me to cut down the household help to one day a week; there is to be no more lunching with the girls…and the list goes on. Also, I am to cancel some of our children’s after-school activities, and there is a serious ban on all new toys and perks for them. I know that it wasn’t easy for him to tell me all of this, and that he held off telling me how bad things were until absolutely necessary.

I’m having a really hard time with these new rules. It’s like my whole life has turned upside down, and I don’t know what to do with myself. I realize that without my lunch dates, shopping, and self-maintenance, I have all this free time on my hands, and I’m feeling bored and resentful. Though I know I can’t really be angry at Simcha, since I suppose it’s not really his fault, I am resentful. It seems like many of my friends are still able to shop and travel and continue life as before. One or two have mentioned that things are feeling tighter for them, but I get the feeling that I’m in the worst shape financially of all of them.

I guess I’m wondering why Simcha didn’t see this coming and protect us better. I’m wondering why my friends’ husbands seem to have been smarter in this way. I’m also worried that our friends will drop us like hot potatoes once they realize that we can’t keep up with them anymore. No more Thursday-night dinners in the city; no more vacations together; no more lavish gift-giving. I’m not even sure where we fit in anymore.

So, bottom line: I’m scared. I find myself snapping at my husband. I’m worried about where we’ll be in a few months from now, how I’ll cope, and how our children will cope. Really, I’m worried if I—and our marriage—will be able to survive our new status.

-Feeling Poor


Dear Feeling Poor, whether or not this is helpful for you to hear, you are not alone. You and your family are among many families now finding themselves in new and uncharted territory.

The past decade or so has provided many families with opportunities to soar to levels of wealth previously rarely seen. Savvy businessmen seized the moment and amassed unheard-of wealth. Being unfamiliar with economic slowdowns, recessions, or, G-d forbid, depressions, many young whippersnappers spent their money like there was no tomorrow. Sound familiar? The good times were rolling and it seemed as though they would last forever.

But few things, if any, last forever.

As you mentioned, there will always be those individuals with enough forethought, versatility, or good old mazal who manage to sail through even the roughest of times without a hitch. But many people are hurting, and some are hurting very badly—probably much worse than you.

This is an important time for you to take stock of who you are and what your life is about. We know it’s very easy to become accustomed to a bountiful lifestyle after having climbed the economic ladder. That doesn’t take much talent or character. However, a person’s true constitution really emerges when one is forced to take steps backward and say goodbye to the luxuries in one’s life. The question becomes, what are you really made of?

You are faced with a tremendous challenge—many challenges, in fact. Let’s look at some of them so that you can take stock and become the person that you were probably meant to become.

First, there is the issue of how you are going to relate to your husband. It sounds to me as though when he had what to give, he gave fully and with an open hand. You must never forget that. If he is telling you to rein in the spending, it’s not because he has suddenly become cheap, but rather because he is being responsible and trying to protect his family from financial devastation. You need to respect him for that and not hold him in contempt for the state of the world. Maybe he could have been more conservative during the days of wine and roses, but what about you? Couldn’t you also have been much more conservative and not jumped right into the world of the rich and famous? You luxuriated together, and now it is time for you to tighten your belts together, working as a cohesive team.

In fact, I would imagine Simcha could use your love and support now more than ever, rather than hearing you complain. Think what he must be going through. It doesn’t sound like you know too many details about his occupation, and I’m sure he is shielding you from many of the gory facts. But his stress level must be sky-high, and this is the time when you need to be there for him.

Secondly, I believe you should start thinking about creating a new lifestyle for yourself. You sound bored and unsure about what to do with your day. Have you considered working? Not only for the practical reasons, but also to do something that can be fulfilling for you. You may find a career that satisfies you in a way that shopping never did and then you will wonder why you ever spent so much time shopping in the first place. Ask yourself whether the shopping was filling a void that should have been acknowledged and dealt with in a more meaningful way in the first place.

You mentioned your concern about friends dropping you and your husband because you’re no longer available to “play” with them. This might be a fine time to ask yourself what the nature of these relationships were all about, anyway. If someone no longer has any use for you because you’re not available for fun and games, this may be just the wake-up call you need to help you understand what a real relationship is about. Though there is nothing wrong with going out for a dinner, a true friendship goes much deeper. It’s about heart and soul, not about the clothes on your back or the latest cruise.

Finally, you seem concerned about your children. This turn of events may actually be the greatest blessing of all. Children who are pampered and privileged (the way so many of our local children are) tend to grow up spoiled, selfish, and with a sense of entitlement that can lead to serious problems. They don’t need designer clothes, daily after-school activities, vacations, and luxurious affairs. Most of us didn’t have any of those things growing up, and, as a result, we learned how to make do and eventually to go out and work for what we wanted. We are none the worse for those experiences and, in fact, are better prepared to cope. You had those coping skills growing up, and you now need to conduct an internal search to once again tap into those strengths that I know you still have.

As you mentioned, Simcha is a “macher.” I have no doubt that his ship will come in again someday. In the meantime, use this lean period to prove to yourself, to Simcha, and to your children that life is about overcoming challenges with dignity and grace. It’s about always remembering what really matters and the importance of loyalty and love. Challenges can and should help us grow as individuals and increase our level of compassion toward others. Look around. There are many people who are in much more serious trouble than you. Perhaps you can use some of your time to reach out a hand and help them. That’s a quick fix that is sure to take your mind off your own fears and give you a greater sense of reality.

These are not easy times. Will you look back on them someday and feel as though you got through them with integrity, learned many valuable lessons in the interim, and were an inspiration for others? That is up to you. v

-Esther"

Sunday, September 14, 2008

Sheitel (and Tichel) Sales in Queens and Baltimore this Sunday

*sticky post* scroll down for the latest; hit expand to see post

This Sunday, September 14th, there will be two sheitel (wig) sales in the Queens area for Michal Wigs. The times and locations are:
  • 4:00-6:30pm 69-92 137th St., 2nd floor, Kew Gardens Hills, 11367
  • 8:00-9:30pm 84-25 112th St., Kew Gardens, 11418
I believe Serach will be selling tichels (scarves) from her SerachScarves business at both.* Both sales are very easy to get to from anywhere nearby, such as Far Rockaway or the Five Towns.

From the ad:
MICHAL WIG SALE MICHAL WIGS SEMI ANNUAL SALE... Long piece (MID BACK/22 INCH) $575!!! Custom Wigs at Unaccustomed Prices, Michal Wigs features out of the box customs that are multi-directional, no knotting with a 6 month guarantee. Come join our list of satisfied customers! Hat falls $290, Falls $365-$415, Sheitels $475-$575. Sales will be on Sunday, September 14th. 430-630 PM at 69-92 137th St SECOND FLOOR, KEW GARDENS HILLS, NY 11367 and 8-930 PM at 84-25 112th St KEW GARDENS, NY 11418 Tichels will also be sold at both sales.
There is also a sheitl sale for Michal Wigs in Baltimore, 11am-1pm, at 3504 Slade Ave.

* She's been a bit low on inventory lately, as her supplier was out of a few types, but she got a few this week and should be getting a lot more in the next week. So, even if you don't see what you want there, you can always order on the website and she'll hopefully have them very soon. Note: She also has now a number of tichels that are not on the website. Feel free to e-mail her at info@serachscarves.com to ask her any questions.

Thursday, August 21, 2008

Sooo....

  • I was asked once again to join a football team in the DegelUSA flag football league that takes place in the Five Towns each year. The league gets written up each week in I believe the Jewish Star. Last year the league had 16 teams if I recall correctly.

    Each team costs $1,300, and the team I was asked to join has no sponsor as of yet. If anyone is interested in being a full or partial sponsor, we could really use one by the end of the day, as all the information has to be submitted by tomorrow morning. The team would then be named after the sponsor and the logo or company information would be printed on the team jerseys. The players on the team are from Kew Gardens Hills and the Five Towns/Far Rockaway areas.

    If you're interested, please contact me at SerandEz@gmail.com. Thank you!
  • Noyam and I are still looking for 1-3 more people to join the J-blogger Fantasy Football Challenge. Nu?! Update: As I wrote this, Noyam tells me another person joined. We have 10, would prefer 12, so if two more people are interested let us know!
  • And, of course, the annual pool I run is back for its 12th year of existence - if you're interested, please e-mail me and I'll give you all the details. If you were in it last year, please e-mail me ASAP as CBSSportsline deleted some information that is important and basically said "Oh, whoops. Sorry.", so I need to discuss it with people. I run a weighted pool (between 25-40 people each year) and will run a survivor pool if there is enough interest.

Friday, July 25, 2008

The Perfect II

To continue the License Plate Scavenger Hunt that seems to be going on, this car was spotted on a Friday afternoon in the Five Towns near Central Ave. Apropos, no?


Friday, November 16, 2007

SerandEz in Far Rockaway

'Tis odd, this. We don't go away all for Shabbos frequently; more often, we're the ones hosting the world and their friends (and loving it). But we were away two weeks ago, we're going to Far Rockaway again this week (and whomever is going to a certain Shabbos Kallah, keep your eye out for Serach - no, I don't think I'm going...), and after Thanksgiving and the Shabbos immediately following, we'll be away for three out of the next four after that. [Teaneck, Monthey, home, and Bawlmoore - woo!] For us, that's pretty crazy, but they should all be a lot of fun.

As for this week, I'll be the one in the brown suit. :)

Friday, November 02, 2007

Shabbos Is Coming

...and I still haven't started cooking. (Shocker!) Of course, this time I'm not getting yelled at [at least not about that], as SerandEz & Elianna are headed to a far away rock for Shabbos. Feel free to say hi, and no, you don't need to say "Hi, I know this is awkward, but..." On the other hand, if you want to keep to the tradition everyone else seems to, you're more than welcome to.

Side question about Far Rockaway - why in the world is it considered part of Queens and not part of the Five Towns? (Or Six Towns.) This gets really annoying for those of us not from there, as we tend to like our newfound [or re-found] ability to make rights on red, and then suddenly find ourselves having to worry "Wait, where am I again? Can I do this?" This gets very annoying.

Have a wonderful Shabbos!