Need a Laugh?

Two tidbits about this blog, and then my point:

1) I often check to see where people come from to visit this blog, and almost every day there's a couple hits of people trying to find the "Shidduch Music Video" by a couple of Lander guys that I posted about a few months ago. I rarely post links to videos, but every once in a while, particularly if someone sends me a link and I really enjoy it, I do.

2) The sidebar on this blog, and the general design, are meant primarily to suit how I use my computer. Its secondary purpose is to make it convenient for those who visit (and myself) who are trying to find certain posts, particularly those who come to read SIL and Professor Justice. Since Blogger doesn't (yet) have a way to sort posts into categories, I've slowly been inserting the "drop-down" menus on the sidebar.

I try to make SerandEz look decent, and neat, and formatted correctly: But apparently, a lot of Internet Explorer users have had trouble, with the posts being well below the sidebar. I tried to fix it, and think I may have - but I'm not interested in spending more time on it, so if it's not working, I'm sorry. (Get Firefox by Mozilla! :) )

Point: I added the "Fun Videos" drop-down menu to the sidebar, which is basically the posts that I know have links to fun/funny videos I've linked to in the past. I hope to add more drop-downs in the future for other categories, but this one was easy, and fun - I watched "Don't Drink & Dance" again, and it's just as funny the umpteenth time.

Enjoy!

Technorati tags: Fun, Funny, Videos.

Oh, Okay.

I've posted another story of my nephew Ben over at Our Kids Speak. Check it out!

A Quiet Shabbos...

...relatively, anyway. We're having 2 friends of Serach stay here - one of whom is running something elsewhere, so won't be eating here - and just one other girl by each meal, as of now. That's just 2 guests per meal. That's... crazy! It's going to be so weird! (For comparison's sake, we had 8 and 7 last week, plus about a dozen who stopped by for Shalosh Seudos, plus we went over with Cousin Noah to a new neighbor Friday night and met another 1/2 dozen people - and shmoozed there until 2am.)

Ironically, this week we're already finished shopping, and we've started making food. And there's still four hours to go! Woah.

Anyways, have a wonderful Shabbos, everybody. I'm making too much food, so if you're hungry, feel free to stop by.

KGH Restaurants Health Violations

(Hat tip: Orthomom)

After seeing OM and others linking to the NYC Department of Health violations website, I decided to check the restaurants in the area to see how they did. These are only restaurants that I recognize as being around here, which is basically between Union Turnpike & Jewel Ave., close to Main Street, in Kew Gardens Hills, New York.

I'm going to go in order of how I see them, which is from the least violations to the most. A score of 27 or less passes the NYC DoH inspection; the others will be re-checked in the near future. Quick note: Restaurants automatically got 20 points for not responding to the city or responding too late, which would put just about every restaurant at the brink of failing.

Interestingly, the shwarma places, which people tend to assume are going to do worse, did quite well. Even OM made a joke about them:

This list certainly goes a ways toward debunking the myth that kosher food is somehow cleaner. But I probably didn't need to tell that to anyone who's ever eaten at their neighborhood corner shawarma joint.

But, to my surprise, she was quite wrong. Flame Grill had just 2 points; Grill Point just 5. Pita Hot didn't get a score, so that's a bit unclear. Not only that, the next places people assume to be dirtier are the pizza places, but Benjy's had just 6 points, and Shimon's had just 5. Even Pizza Professor had only 11, which is under the NYC average of 13 points.

Something I don't understand is this: A bunch of restaurants, instead of scores, had this footnote:

* The inspection scoring system now in place was first instituted on March 24, of 2003. The practice was temporarily suspended between November 3, 2004 and February 18, 2005. As a result, violation points were not assessed for any restaurants inspected between November 3, 2004 and February 18, 2005 did not result in the assessment of violation points. Instead, a "not applicable" or "n/a" is indicated in the search result.

Those restaurants are listed after the rest - you can still click on the links to see what they were cited for. I've inserted their previous 2 results as well, along with quick comments about the ones listed this time. Here are the restaurants:

2 points:

FLAME GRILL
147-41 UNION TURNPIKE, Queens 11367

G & I BAKERY
69-40 MAIN STREET, Queens 11367
718-261-1155

5 points:

GRILL POINT
69-54 MAIN STREET, Queens 11367

SHIMONS KOSHER PIZZA
71-24 MAIN STREET, Queens 11367
718-723-1491

6 points:

BENJY'S PIZZA
72-72 MAIN STREET, Queens 11367
718-268-0791

7 points:

BURGER NOSH
69-48 MAIN STREET, Queens 11367
718-520-1933

9 points:

ROSA'S KOSHER BAKERY
69-62 MAIN STREET, Queens 11367
718-261-1745

11 points:

THE PIZZA PROFESSOR INC
141-25 JEWEL AVENUE, Queens 11367

17 points:

SUSHI METTSUYAN
72-08 MAIN STREET, Queens 11367

19 points:

MAUZONE
72-30 MAIN STREET, Queens 11367
718-261-7723

20 points:

ANNIE'S KITCHEN
72-24 MAIN STREET, Queens 11367

Footnoted:

DOUGIES BAR-B-QUE & GRILL [40, 27 - and there are a nice number of items listed this time, too.]
73-27 MAIN STREET, Queens 11367
718-793-4600

HAPISGAH RESTAURANT [7, 20 - a couple of weird violations, like not having good or adequate sinks.]
147-25 UNION TURNPIKE, Queens 11367
718-380-4449

KOSHER CORNER [*, 23 - pretty bad violations, IMO... expired milk? Aren't you using it pretty often? Come on!]
73-01 MAIN STREET, Queens 11367
718-263-1177

MAX & MINA'S ICE CREAM [6, 19 - "Live animal present"? What does that mean? It's not mice, because they, like most of the others in this list, have those listed seperately.]
71-26 MAIN STREET, Queens 11367
718-793-8629

NAOMI'S PIZZA [*, 18, 29, 4 - Actually, not bad. Just two details listed, neither all that bad IMO.]
68-28 MAIN STREET, Queens 11367
718-520-6754

PITA HOT ONE [*, 39, 11 - A bunch of violations.]
75-43 MAIN STREET, Queens 11367
718-544-6755

QUEENS KOSHER PITA [*, *, 64, 18 - Actually, that previous 64 scares me more than the violations listed. The 18 since then is comforting, though... somewhat.]
68-38 MAIN STREET, Queens 11367
718-263-8000

Overall, pretty depressing. Good thing the place I can most afford is Shimon's, eh?

Actually, to be honest, none of these worry me too much. I worked with food quite a bit, including at a restaurant and at Jacobs Field where they were real sticklers for little things, and I know how easy it is for certain things to be considered "violations" when in fact they're something we all do at home every day. OTOH, some of the violations are disturbing for the same reasons, because they make you wonder: How could anyone let that happen?!

This won't stop me from eating at any of these places, though it may make me favor a couple places a bit more for a short while. Actually, sometimes reports like this make places clean up a lot more, to the point that they're quickly more sanitary than the ones who had better scores. But in the restaurants around here, I don't think it will affect most of them too much.

Go eat! Just watch out for the mice.

Technorati tags: Health, Violations, KGH, Kosher, Restaurants.

Ezzie's Blog Roundup, 1/20

Interesting... at about 7:00 this evening, I quickly perused my entire blogroll, as I try to do at least once a day (one reason I'm reluctant to add any blogs to it, even though there a bunch I'd like to...) - and found just a few posts that I thought were good to include in this roundup. I just checked through them again... and now I have a bunch - and not just any bunch, but some really good posts.

Here they are:

*Post of the Day*

RX from Suburban Hymns joins the fun at Jameel - and blows everyone away at the end of her amazing story, even Jameel. Wow. Check out the posts from SoccerDad & Chana, too, as they guest-blog @ the Muqata as well.

Today was the day to blog about names, it seems...

ADDeRabbi does a follow-up post on the names post from yesterday; Stacey discusses her last name; JoeSettler gets called names; and SoccerDad names a whole list of bloggers who are related. I even got in on the action near the end of this post, discussing a quality of my own name. Then, SoccerDad told me that Daled Amos had mentioned my FIL's name, too.

Secrets:

JoeSettler reveals a secret; Elie hopes this secret isn't true; Avi wishes people wouldn't be so quiet about something that's not a secret at all; Orthomom notes that the NYC Department of Health has exposed the secrets of many Kosher restaurants, which makes Me-Ander's new Kosher Cooking Carnival all the more important!

Humor!:

AbbaGav discusses his life as a Geek in light of the James Frey story; Chaim finds a video of a guy lip-syncing to The Chevra's "Yehai" (no, not these guys...) - with a hilarious twist; Meryl Yourish points to a funny kid's book (as opposed to a funny kids book); and Daled Amos exposes the dark side of Dr. Seuss.

Israel:

Elder of Ziyon exposes Palestinian hypocrisy, and notes some important news stories you missed; then he takes down some stupid reporters, while AbbaGav points out a photographer of the same ilk.

Halacha:

LabRab breaks down Cholov Yisroel according to R' Moshe Feinstein, then the whole "18 minutes" deal.

Technorati tags: Blog, Roundup, Ezzie.

Utter Genius

NOTE: I think this post is more interesting if you're a football fan - but more important if you're not. Perhaps after reading it, you'll understand the obsessed among us a little better. Then again, maybe you'll just be confused. Either way, you'll hopefully realize that there's a lot more than meets the eye. :)

I am a football fan. More specifically, an NFL football fan. Even more specifically, a Cleveland Browns fan. (Jack, sha!) One of the first things my sister-in-law SIL said to my sister after we got married was

"Oh! So now you're a Sunday widow! Join the club!"

My mother-in-law topped that with a pillow she bought us soon after we got married which says:

We interrupt this marriage...

...to bring you football season.

My brother and I were discussing the NFL playoffs on the way home from the WITS Alumni reunion last Saturday night, and Serach couldn't take it:

"Why are you so obsessed with football?!" "Serach, you don't understand football." "Then explain it!" "No way - that would take forever. There's so much that goes into it, people just don't realize." "It just looks like a bunch of people running into each other every time."

At this, my brother and I looked at each other, smiled, shook our heads, and sighed. We began discussing with each other the intricacies that are impossible to truly explain to someone who doesn't know the game - and just discussing some tiny aspects makes you appreciate how much there is involved on every single play of a football game. Serach piped up again,

"What sport is the most popular?" "In the US - football, without question." "Why?" (glance at each other again, just to make sure we're thinking the same thing) "It's the smartest sport of them all."

Baseball and basketball have their own positives, but football, more than the others, requires brains. If you don't have a quick mind, good perceptions, and decent vision, you won't last too long in the NFL. And it's not all conscious thought: Instincts and reactions are equally as important.

Imagine you're in your home. You are talking with your friend, while in the next room your husband/father/sister is watching the game. All of a sudden, you hear,

"GO!! GOO!! (jump!) YESSS!!!!" "GIMME FIVE!" "ALLRIGHT!!!" (slaps five) "What a run!" "Wow - see that? That was a GREAT block. Sick." (calm) "Wow. That was really nice. See that?" "Yeah - that was cool."

You shake your head, wondering how they could be so excited over something so stupid. As you go back to discussing Calvin and Hobbes, (no, not this Calvin & Hobbes...) you fail to realize what you've just missed.

One of the many things teams do to prepare for a game are have practices where their own players pretend to be players from the team they are about to face, acting in the same way that those players do on the countless hours of film they've seen.

"All right, guys - when you see 88 glance into this area like this, it usually means that his pass route is a square-in at about 9 yards. Cut underneath him to knock down a potential pass - but not too far underneath, because if he and 18 see this he usually does a quick turn back to the outside flat and you're going to look like an idiot when he's sitting there wide open."

By practicing little things all week, they are better prepared to do so instinctively during the game. Each team spends the entire game trying to outmaneuver the other - and do so without outmaneuvering themselves. They spend at least one week trying to figure out just how to do so, in every aspect of the game - usually, the first 10 plays of the game are scripted in advance by coaches, and often even more. Teams have hundreds of plays, each codified to the situations that they are meant for in each game, and usually pick about 75 or so that they'll use in a given game - each with a number of different versions for different groups of players and formations.

"Okay," you say. "So football teams do a lot of planning and practice: And then they all run into each other, right?"

Each player on the field spends the seconds leading up to the snap making constant "reads"; trying to figure out who is about to do what and how, and how that will affect what's about to happen, and what he needs to do to make sure that works for his own team's plans. For example, here's the thought process of a left tackle named Walt on a run to the left: (Or in other words, the fat guy on the left end of the group of 5 fat guys on the team with the ball, when the quarterback is going to hand the ball to the guy behind him who will run in the same direction as aforementioned fat guy.)

'Okay, they have 3 down linemen and 4 linebackers. Their safeties are playing up, and their corners tight. We're about to run the ball right at 57 over there, but 54 is cheating over that way too. I'm going to be blocking 94, and Tim's going to slide forward to block 57, but 54 might have a clear shot at our running back. But if we slide a bit, and I take 57, and Tim takes 94, Bob can get out ahead and take 54 out of the way. It will force our guy to run a little further outside, and that might allow the safety to cut him off, but that's fine - our receiver will cut him off. Their corner would have a clear shot, but he has to respect the pass threat of our receiver as he cuts toward the safety, so he'll be turned the wrong way to get our back. All right - that works: I'll tell the other guys.' "26!! 26!!" Bob looks over, sees what Walt sees, agrees, yells something else. The quarterback turns to the receivers and running back, announces the change in plans, and leans in for the snap.

The other team realizes they're making a change, and tries to quickly assess what it is and adjust accordingly. Without bothering to go into the thought processes of their own players, let's go back to Dave:

'All right, so I'm going to try and get out and block 57. I gotta block him to the right, which means I have to get all the way to the left before he does. Should I try and go sideways to have a better angle, but risk being turned too far to my own left? Or should I go ahead further, but risk not making it there fast enough? I think I can get a good jump, so I'll go out ahead. If 94 realizes what's happening because of this, I'll knock him with my arm to slow him down until Tim gets over to help out.'

Get the idea? Now, remember that there are 22 different people on the field every single play, plus tens of players and coaches on the sidelines looking at everything from other angles and yelling out things that the players on the field may be missing - and watching the other team, listening to the codes they use, and... it goes on and on.

Then, there's the difficult trouble that exists in, even after figuring out what the other team might or might not be doing, actually stopping the other team. This requires incredible instinct and quick rethinking of whatever you may have thought before the play as the play progresses. When you realize that the average NFL play takes less than 10 seconds, that's some pretty fast thinking.

The next time you see or hear your husband, father, sister, or household football fan jump up and down at a perfectly executed touchdown run by their favorite team, don't scoff at their enjoyment of watching one man run past a bunch of other ones who ran into each other. Instead, understand that they are merely appreciating the complexity involved in running such a perfect play that could result in a touchdown - all the little details necessary to get that running back around end beyond the reach of the nearest defenders. Months, if not years, have been spent developing that play and the instincts necessary to run it. The football fan in your family has spent years learning to appreciate those intricate details and the genius behind it.

Then again, maybe they're just happy their team scored a touchdown.

Technorati tags: NFL, Football, Fans, Wives, Sunday, Widow, Obsessed, Cleveland, Browns, Genius.

Last Day to Vote in Round One!

NOTE 1/19: Today is the last day to vote in the first round of the JIBs! As long as you have not voted in the last 2 days, you may vote again today. While you're there, look around, see the other blogs. That's what this is really all about anyway... that and a little fun. Thanks again to Dave from IsraellyCool for conceiving this idea. While SerandEz is likely to be eliminated (in every category - ouch!), I will still be writing about and checking on the JIBs to see what's happening and find some more great blogs.

Look either below or in the sidebar - the categories I've already analyzed are listed. Up so far:

The Nominees..., Best Post - The List, Best Post - The Good, Best Post - The Better, Best Post - The Best, Best Designed Blog, Best Life In Israel Blog (Group A), Best Jewish Humor Blog (Group B), Best Jewish Humor Blog (Group A), Best Series (Group B).

SerandEz is nominated in 5 categories:

Best Overall Blog

Best New Blog

Best Political Blog

Best Series: Crazy Shabbos
I II III IV V VI

Best Post: Welcome to the (J-) Blogosphere

Technorati tags: Jewish, Israel, Blog, JIB, Awards.

You Were Saying?

*EDIT* Okay, so this was supposed to posted at Our Kids Speak, (and now is) but I didn't realize which blog I was posting to. Enjoy anyway!

[Reposted from Kids Say the Darnest Things - SerandEz, Sep. 20, 2005]

[sic]

Anyway, we've known for a while that my nephew, Ben, has an incredible sense of humor, thank God. When Serach and I got engaged, we taught Ben her name. He was only one and a half, so he would repeat after us, "Do-dah!? [Dodah = Aunt] Rerach!" Only, he kept on adjusting the name... We'd laugh at his saying Dodah as if it was a question, and he noticed. He quickly adjusted, and started looking up as if to see if everyone's paying attention; then say "DODAH?!!", and... pause! Everyone would crack up, he'd smile, then say "Reraccccchhhhhh" while shaking his head.

Fast forward almost a year. I'm babysitting for Ben, and I'm sitting on our couch, just watching him I believe. He climbs up onto the couch, grabs his blanket, and sits there quietly for about a minute. I'm just looking at him, and he looks up at me, and he all of a sudden gets a big, mischievous smile on his face. He opens his mouth and says, "Dodah?!" and I crack up. His smile gets wider, and he says, "Stheraccccchhhhhh...." and then gets off and starts playing with a toy duck.

He's now about to hit three years old, and my sister-in-law sent everyone a couple of stories that happened recently.

This happened last night...
Ben loves Yocrunch Yogurts and was extremely excited when Hudi brought over 20 home from the store, as they were on sale. He decided he wanted to put them away in the fridge and over the course of 10 minutes as he found different places to stash his treats, he kept exclaiming "WOW! I love them! WOW! WOW! I love them!" At the end as he surveyed the fridge and saw the many yogurts all over the place he proclaimed, "WOW! It's a.... beautiful sight!"

I guess while I'm sharing Ben stories, I may as well mention one from last week, as well... I was telling him something and then I interrupted myself for something that was more pressing. When I finished my interruption, Ben looked up at me and said "You were saying?"

Personally, I think he should have a blog. He's by far the funniest - and smartest - kid I know.

A Thank You Letter

Wow. I wrote nothing all day, and still got almost 400 page views... when I actually write, I get [lately] 600+. Should I be flattered? Or are people just really, really bored at work/college? Anyways, I'm kidding - just thought it was interesting; and I'm flattered that so many people are coming here to read this blog.

So, why do I say all this?

This post by MCAryeh. He has begun recapping all the blogs he reads, giving a short summation of the bloggers and their blogs, and then links to 5 posts written over the last 6 months, plus a "bonus" post from this month. He reviewed 8 blogs today, including three I normally read (Stacey, Jameel, & Mirty), and five I do not: House of Joy, Elster, Suburban Hymns, A Simple Jew, and Wilderness City.

And I was blown away. I sat here for over an hour, reading (almost) every. single. post. Happy, sad, touching, ripped from the heartstrings... These posts were amazing. They made me think about my own posts, and how they are never like this. That's not me. I'm guarded. I can't write like this. I'm not anonymous. I am, even on my own blog, in hiding. I...

No, wait. I am me. I don't write those posts, because I can't. I'm not that talented of a writer. I can't stuff years of heart-wrenching emotion into a paragraph. It's a gift: A gift I don't have. These eight writers show flashes of, if not outright, brilliance in their writing - in their ability to draw you in, to let you feel that which they are feeling, to force you to see that which they see.

I don't know how to express in words the warmth of Stacey, the radiant happiness of Beth, the simple wisdom of ASJ. I have my own strengths, and thank God they're many. As one friend noted to me today, after I told him yet another incredibly fortunate story that happened to me, "God loves you." I responded "'Look at my name." "Eliezer! [My God helps!]," he said, smiling, realizing; "Eliezer Chaim [loosely: My God helps my life]," I said back.

While none of us are blessed with every gift, it is wonderful to have the opportunity to appreciate those individual gifts people have. People are often enamored by those who resemble a life they would never want to lead. People can be almost obsessed with a star basketball player whose quickness and leaping ability cannot be matched. People are spellbound by a man on the streets of Manhattan who draws beautiful paintings with nothing more than spray paints and little tins. Why? Simple: He can do something that others just cannot. His talent, however trivial, is above the norm. Not everybody can do what he does.

Therefore, I must say thank you to MCAryeh and the others. Thank you for writing such beautiful stories. Thank you for sharing with us your gifts. Perhaps most importantly, you are wonderful reminders to use our own gifts.

Thank you for being an inspiration.

JIB Awards 2005: Best Series Nominees (Group B)

Previously:

The Nominees..., Best Post - The List, Best Post - The Good, Best Post - The Better, Best Post - The Best, Best Designed Blog, Best Life In Israel Blog (Group A), Best Jewish Humor Blog (Group B), Best Jewish Humor Blog (Group A)

Oh, wow. I know I'm going to regret this, but... here we go!

This is an analysis of the nominees for Best Series (Group B) for the 2005 JIB Awards. I hope you will not only read this, but the series themselves as well; they are all excellent and well-written. Enjoy!

The nominees:

Matzah & Marinara's 8-part series When Something's Wrong is the heart-breaking story of her son Evan, whose autism was improperly addressed by so many, but who was helped by so many other, caring people. As beautiful as it is heart-rending.

LamedZayin's 6-parter on the origins and modern-day knowledge we have regarding Tekhelet is fascinating and incredibly well-researched, packing a wealth of information into 6 readable, interesting posts at Maven Yavin.

Mystical Paths' 2-part series examining the words of Ovadiah (the prophet) and extrapolating them to modern-day events is as scary as it is intriguing. He takes a phrase-by-phrase approach to interpretation of the words.

On the Face's story, How Lisa Came to Israel, goes far beyond the plane ride in. It is the story of life in Tel Aviv, beginning at the outbreak of the intifada to the very heart of Operation Defensive Shield, from the viewpoint of a struggling Israeli immigrant.

Only In Israel tries to describe the anatomy of A Typical Protest against the fence being built in Israel, and succeeds: Who comes, from where, and what they're about. More importantly, what goes on at the protests, especially the "non-violent" ones.

Orthodox Anarchist has a 10-part series titled The Walls Came Tumbling Down, designed to examine the ascent of modern autonomous Jewish movements. I did not read this series, but from the bit I skimmed in Part I, it looks richly detailed and interesting, and not very favorable of Orthodox Judaism.

Orthomom's Heroine of the Day series is actually ongoing, highlighting fabulously talented Jewish women who have accomplished so much. The list of who she has discussed is in her sidebar, including some more famous names and some less so.

PsychoToddler's Rose's Story is about his mother's recollections from the Holocaust. With her whole family wiped out in the war and genocide, she managed to survive to tell her story -her detailed, incredibly recollected story.

SerandEz (that's me!) has a more joyful series, recapping a fun and Crazy Shabbos we once had here - one of many, but one that was especially crazy and deserving of being written. I was only able to write the 6 posts through what happened Shabbos day before too many details faded to write accurately; nevertheless, it gives a nice impression of what Shabbos here is often like.

Shaister's Weekend Pop Culture is ongoing, and discusses... well, pop culture, every weekend. More specifically, Jewish contributions to pop culture. It's interesting and detailed, and gives nice insights into the story behind what we experience.

Wilderness City retells his Trip to Uman for Rosh Hashana, a trek many make every year. From Bat Ayin to Uman and back, it's an interesting perspective on the annual calm craziness that exists by R' Nachman's grave.

The Zionist Conspiracy discusses the incredible cultural divide between the Modern Orthodox and Charedi worlds, in particular the difficulties a moderate Charedi faces. Orthodox Judaism's Cultural Divide is fascinating and extremely incisive.

Technorati tags: Jewish, Israel, Blog, JIB, Awards.

Ezzie's Blog Roundup, 1/19

Heh. Interestingly, the post before this was supposed to be a roundup. Then it turned into a post about writing... then a thank you. Whatever way the fingers lead? Or is it the mind? Speaking of the mind... I keep on almost starting the "Why I Blog" post, only to decide that there's too many aspects that I must first organize before putting it into a post. Every day, I read or think of another piece I'd love to add, a new way of putting things that is *just right*.

Ah, well. Meanwhile, enjoy the wisdom of others:
Humor!:

MCAryeh continues the blogger-fest at Jameel's, telling the "true story" of how Jameel got his mojo.

Mrs. Balabusta dreams up the Mommy Olympics.

Life:

Irina rants about modern-day saints, pious Jews, and the overwhelmingly intelligent. Or those who think they are, anyway.

Shoshana reflects on how much her life has changed since the last time she left Israel, and notes how hard it is being lonely.

Meryl Yourish has some pretty great students.

Robbie is sick of blinking blue ears.

Israel: Ze'ev is despondent over the despondency of voters.

Jewish Culture:

Krum finally pieces together Slifkin & Metzitza B'Peh, his two favorite subjects.

ADDeRabbi has a wonderful post about names at Maven Yavin, and Gil answered an old question of mine in the comments with a link to an article he wrote - excellent. [The link is to the part relevant to my Q; the rest of the article is above it.]

Religion:

BTA struggles with the struggle [and yes, I just wrote that] of being a frum skeptic married to a frum believer.

Godol Hador speaks out against skepticism after debating faith.

Check it out!

Technorati tags: Blog, Roundup, Ezzie.

This Is What Happens...

...when you pretend you're a god. Thank you Holy Hyrax for this HILARIOUS video.

Technorati tags: Jesus, Survive, Video.

Ezzie's Blog Roundup, 1/18

All right. Since, essentially, I'm a moron, and I haven't even STARTED reading the stuff I need to for auditing, and I need to write a 5-paragraph paper as well, and I have zero self-control, I need to stop blogging now. Maybe SIL will go ahead and post again today - yesterday's Go Ahead... Sound Professional was hilarious. Instead, here's a few other posts for you to read:

PsychoToddler's father is ill. Please daven for Eliezer ben Perel.

AskShifra continues the run at Jameel's with an amazing post about those last 18 minutes in her home.

OurKidsSpeak has taken off well, and it's non-stop smiles and laughter. Check it out!

Orthomom has a couple of great posts as usual, one asking your opinion on clients' manners, and another discussing a fascinating story about a Charedi artist.

She also points to a good post by MUST Gum Addict on what's good about the 5 towns.

LabRab has an entertaining post about Chaleiv Yisroel and ice cream as he tries it out for at least a day.

Check it out!

Technorati tags: Blog, Roundup, Ezzie.

Saved!! Any Suggestions?

As I noted yesterday, it's a crazy week. But so far, so good. I wrote 2 of the 3 5-paragraph essays I needed to, and edited the 5-pager (into 7 pages). Someone called to book my LA ticket for me, and a blogger I'm quite interested in meeting is staying right near here, so hopefully we'll have a chance to actually meet. I actually studied a bit for my Literature final, and aside from the nice person who supplied me with notes, I must thank Wikipedia. Every time I use it, I appreciate its value more and more. It's a wonderfully fast way of researching whatever topics you need to - and as long as the subject has no political aspects, it's generally extremely well put together.

I started the essay on The Republic, but I will have to finish it after the final and then drop it in the professor's box. Any suggestions on which parts I should utilize? I'm looking to explain why a philosopher-king is just not practicable as a leader, and the flaws in the utopian style state of Socrates. The arguments are coherent in my mind, but I have yet to find stand-alone examples upon which to pick and explain why they cannot possibly work. By stand-alone, I mean examples which do not require me to waste a page trying to describe the background of the example, which turns off the reader. I need good, pointed examples. Any ideas? DB? R2JB? Nephtuli? Who are the literature experts out there?

Also, some posts I'd like to write in the near future: Living in the J-Blogosphere (because of Irina), Why I'm Jewish (many people, starting with Holy Hyrax), and Why I Blog (many people, starting with Jack). Of course I also have to break down why the Panthers and Broncos are going to the Super Bowl, analyze how the GOP is righting itself properly [so far] after a terrible year, continue analyzing the JIBs, and figure out what the heck is going on in Israel. :::sigh::: Wouldn't it be nice if time stopped so we could blog?!

Go ahead and... sound professional

Ever call customer service and have them tell you "I'll go ahead and note that on your account" or "I'll go ahead and give you a credit" or "I'll go ahead and enter your payment"?? There's even an On-Star commercial where the operator says "I'll go ahead and wait on the phone with you until emergency services arrive." What exactly is the effort and hard work involved in pressing a few keys on a keyboard or waiting on the phone? How does that involve "Going ahead"?

Last night I was talking to a a gentleman who works for AOL in India, named "Donald". He told me "I'm going to go ahead and take you off of our telemarketing list." With his accent, this American phrase sounded very odd. So I asked him "When you say 'Go ahead and...' is this a phrase you picked up when you learned English or were you told to say it?" He admitted that AOL told them to say it "to sound professional".

There you have it - trying to sound like you're going out of your way to help the customer when you're really doing very little is Professional.



I'm going to go ahead and, oh... this is hard work... click on "Publish Post"...

Home No Longer

Must-see video. (via JoeSettler/Jerusalem Cop)

I've actually seen this before, but I still choked up.

Best Jewish Humor Blog (Group A)

Previously:

The Nominees..., Best Post - The List, Best Post - The Good, Best Post - The Better, Best Post - The Best, Best Designed Blog, Best Life in Israel Blog (Group A), Best Jewish Humor Blog (Group B).

Though I really should be doing other things, I wanted to get at least a couple more of these in before the first round of voting ended. Tonight is the Humor category, Group A. There are some really funny blogs in this group, and thankfully, Jewlicious just posted their review of the whole category which makes this a bit easier. Here we go:

A Whispering Soul is a wonderfully written, interesting, and excellent blog. He's funny when he wants to be, but his blog is less about humor and more about life. He should get a lot more votes in the other (numerous) categories he's in.

Aaron's CC is far more of a political blog than a humor blog, but politics can be funny too. It's more tongue-in-cheek satire than true humor, however, it does have a lot of humorous posts. When it makes fun of Condi Rice recently [even though I like Condi] I was particularly amused.

Because... (Robbie) wants me to plug him, as I'd promised I would do. Well, here you go, Robbie! Robbie is funny and entertaining, and deserves heavy consideration for your vote in this category. Of course, he's not as funny as Fudge, but he is still really funny, so if you don't like Fudge for some stupid reason, vote for Robbie. Or vote for him with one of your later votes. Or something. Enough to say that this plug was meaningful.

Cox & Forkum draw hilarious cartoons. But they don't need your votes, they're huge. Really, really good cartoons.

Fudge. Wow, what to say about Fudge?! Go scroll through some of her archives. You would be falling off your seat with laughter at some of her posts, if not for her incredible writing ability which keeps you glued to that seat. I'd love to see who gets more votes in the finals: Her or her dad, PsychoToddler.

Gila's Big Adventure. I have to agree with Jewlicious: It's a very interesting blog about Gila's life in Israel, but why is it a "Humor" blog?!

Israel Stories is a blog I've never seen before - but it's pretty funny. Nice little stories about life in Israel, but with that Israeli twist that makes it hilarious to hear or read.

JDaters Anonymous was described by Esther herself, so I'll let her do the talking:

For the legions of current and former daters of all stripes, people who engage in online dating or offline dating. Recent discussions have focused on whether older men are overlooked by younger women, and whether soulmates exist and what that term means. This site recently launched its own BlogCarnival for posts of a Jewish singles nature. (Disclosure: JDA is an EDK production.)

JeruGuru is a fascinating story teller, but I don't think his blog is about humor as much as it's about dating and life in Israel.

Krum as a Bagel is one of the blogs I throughly enjoy, though more for his sharp posts than his humor. He is pretty funny while he points out the idiocies he sees in the Jewish world, however, and deserves some solid consideration.

Life-of-Rubin is another blog I enjoy, and he gets extra points for designing my header. He's pretty funny, though he (like Krum) has a different focus, in his case, Jewish culture. He deserves some solid consideration as well.

Enjoy them all!

Technorati tags: Jewish, Israel, Blog, JIB, Awards.

It's Crammin' Time!!

Note: This post is primarily for me to organize my own thoughts and allow me to figure out what I need to do over the next week or so. There's a great chance you will find it incredibly boring, or just completely incoherent. On the other hand, you never know, do you?

It is currently 1:17:28 AM EST. [Uh-oh, I think I'm addicted to 24 again.]

Over the next 160 or so hours, I have the following to do...

TUESDAY

3:00am:

Start writing a number of essays, including a few 5-paragraph essays on poems and stories I've never read, but most importantly a 5-page essay on something from The Republic, along with editing a 5-page essay I wrote earlier in the semester. The tricky part is editing the one I wrote: As I wrote it the first time, I realized as I got to the conclusion that my thesis was false - so I destroyed it in the conclusion. The teacher agreed... but that means I'd basically written a terrible thesis and contradicted my own points, so I got a B/B+. To avoid this, I need to essentially rewrite the thesis completely or revamp the whole essay - but it can't be a completely new essay. Very frustrating - I basically painted myself into a corner.

9:00am:

Go to Lander, pick up notes on all the Literature classes from the semester, most of which I missed. The notes are incomplete, however, so I may also have to read a number of literature and philosophical pieces. I also cannot actually begin re-writing the essay I need to edit until I get these papers, because the professor's edits are on the original which is at the school.

4:00pm-6:00pm:

Literature Final.

6:00pm-midnight:

Study for Auditing Final - 7 chapters from a book I don't own, so have never read before in my life. Missing most of the classes certainly won't help either.

WEDNESDAY

12:00am-6:00pm:

Study for Auditing Final. Notice that was continuous: There's no way I'm studying anywhere near 24 hours for the final. I'll likely read the 7 chapters somewhat slowly, take breaks to daven, sleep, and possibly eat, and of course: Blog. ;)

6:00pm-8:00pm:

Auditing Final.

WEDNESDAY NIGHT - SUNDAY AFTERNOON

Try and track down a Management textbook. Do every single assignment for online course in Management that I didn't do all semester, consisting of 9 homeworks, a midterm, and the "take-home" portion of the final. E-mail professor and explain why I didn't do anything until now. Learn Management material for Sunday afternoon final.

SUNDAY

4:00pm:

Management Final in Brooklyn. Somehow, I better be able to see the AFC & NFC Championship games. This is NOT good.

SUNDAY NIGHT

Find out what is on Computers with Business Applications Final. Borrow friend's textbook at night, learn whatever material I need for the final.

MONDAY

7:00pm:

Computers final.

MONDAY NIGHT

9:00pm-10:00pm:

Episode 5 of 24!!!

After 24:

Go home. Collapse in heap.

Wow. The reason I like to write all this out is simple: Once it's all written out, it actually doesn't seem quite so bad. Items such as "learn and understand perfectly a few months of an auditing class you missed most of" are neatly placed into "study 7 chapters of auditing", which makes it sound almost easy.

I've also left out all the "little" things I need to do, such as plan out the weeks following this one, including looking for a job, a couple job interviews I'm in the process of lining up, a trip to Cleveland by both of us from February 3rd-6th and another one I'm going on alone to Los Angeles from either the 6th or 7th to the 9th. Then there's this Shabbos here, which may or may not consist of a large number of guests, possibly a couple of engagement parties, trying to pay bills with money that doesn't exist, and visiting my grandparents whom we haven't seen in a while even though they live right here.

I'm reasonably certain I'm leaving out a ton, but this should keep me going for a while. Whatever I forgot, Serach will be sure to remind me.

Heh. 2:11:20...

The Power of DVR (kind of like TIVO...)

It's off to watch Episodes 3 & 4 of 24. Our friend* tapes all the shows on DVR, which is basically like TiVo; this allows us to watch the shows straight without having to waste time on all the commercials. It makes the show faster, more intense, and shorter. In other words, it basically causes 24 watchers to get that much more drawn into the show and therefore almost have heart attacks everytime someone suddenly gets blown up or shot at.

And it is SO worth it. Start from Season 1, Episode 1. Betcha can't watch just one!

* Our friend is of the type who enjoys shows such as The Bachelor or Beauty & The Geek. She hates action, drama, and politics. After months of persuasion, we convinced her to watch one measly episode. Within months, she was caught up and watching Season 4. Heh. :)

Our Kids Speak

As I noted last night, PsychoToddler and others have started Our Kids Speak, which pretty much explains the whole idea. For me, at least, it brings joy to the J-blogosphere, one child at a time. I actually joined myself, despite not (yet) having any children, and posted a hilarious story from my niece. As one writer said,

Psychotoddler has started a group blog where folks can post cute things their kids say. If this sounds cute to you, visit. If it makes you gag, don't.

I think it's cute and funny. Go see for yourself.