Tuesday, November 17, 2009

Self-Respect Or Ego?

Did you ever find yourself feeling so critical, you wonder if maybe it's you that's the issue, not the rest of the world? I'm someone who always thought of myself as lesser. If the world was a story, I was never the main character. Happily, I graduated college with a new sense of self-respect. I found I was actually quite a good person, that I do have some talents after all (even ones I was selling myself majorly short on), and that I held respectable values.

Now I find myself being constantly critical. It's hard to tell if I'm justified in being so, or if my new sense of self-respect is causing me to place too much judgment on others. I'm not consciously doing either. I know that as much as I am drinking in good values and habits from those around me, there are also plenty of things I see that I don't like and don't respect. It's difficult to find a balance between what deserves being thought about critically and what ought to be understood and ignored. I don't know if this is coming from actually respecting my values as opposed to those of other people or if I am getting an inflated ego that likes to find fault with things that are not myself. Either way, I find the way I feel disturbing and wish I did not feel so. It's probably not smart to write all of this in a blog post, but I'm not sure what else to do.

I know the world is not Candyland. But it must be easier to control your own thoughts and feelings than this?