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Tuesday, January 10, 2012

Remember

Guest post by AnonT

Less then a year ago, the world mourned as Leiby Kletzky was found, brutally murdered and butchered. Jews as a nation and the world mourned. Jews everywhere stood together, were unified in trying to understand this travesty, in trying to bring comfort to a shocked and bereaved family. This past summer, two young boys were tragically killed as they drove home from the mountains. And just months ago, Jews around the world, regardless of affiliation, spent 25 hours standing, praying and fasting on Yom Kippur.

Yet today, I open up the news and see Jews against Jews. I see children petrified and other children being used in horrific ways. I see comparisons of Jews, by Jews, to the vile evil that were/are the Nazis. It is enough to make you sick.

It is unfortunate, but I have been told for many years that it is imperative that we don’t Judaism by its practitioners but by the religion itself. While I accept this, it any wonder that so many Jews are leaving Judaism? Is it a wonder that those of us who are sticking it out with Judasim are disillusioned? When we Jews tear ourselves apart, when we fight with each other, when we tear each other down, when we lose sight of what our life is supposed to be about, the value of God, Torah and mitzvoth, are eradicated right before our eyes.

What does it take to make us Jews remember that we are all one? What will it take to ensure we remain united, even in our disagreements? Our enemies seem to have no problem remembering that a Jew is a Jew is a Jew. When 6 million jews were murdered in Europe less than 100 years ago, there was no discrimination. When Jews were burnt on the auto de fay in the Inquisition, a Jew was a Jew. When pogroms occurred, blood libels, tach ve’tat, it did not matter! We were all Jews. When bombings go off on buses, in restaurants, in wedding halls and in dance clubs, a Jew is a Jew.

Almost 10 years ago to this day, Daniel Pearl was beheaded and it was because, as he said himself, "My name is Daniel Pearl. I am a Jewish American from Encino, California, USA. I come from, uh, on my father's side the family is Zionist. My father's Jewish, my mother's Jewish, I'm Jewish. My family follows Judaism.” His captors did not care if he was from NY or California, if he was Reform, Conservative, or Chassidic. He was a Jew. His mother was a Jew. He was Jewish. That was enough. Do we forget? Do we forget the murder of the young Israeli in Europe a few years ago? I don’t remember his name, or what country he was in. But I remember the picture of him, in his happy days, sitting on a fence. And I know that he is no longer alive. Killed because he was a Jew.

Yaakov and Eisav were given brachot, the essential foundation of our nation. The brachot said that while one nation was up, the other nation would be forced serve the other. We are pulling ourselves down, and in doing so, we are forcing ourselves to serve those who have sought to kill us in every generation, at every chance they can get.

We are told countless times in our religion, zachor, remember! And if we weren’t told to remember, then the way of the world is to remember in order to understand history, and refrain from making mistakes again. We just had Chanukah, have we forgotten so recently the destruction of what we had? Purim is so soon, have we forgotten that we as a nation were so almost annihilated? Do we need MORE calamities and deaths and near destructions of our entire nation, to learn the lesson achdut!?!?!?!?

What else has to happen? How many more people, mothers, fathers, sisters, brothers, friends have to weep because their loved one, OUR brother or sister, are killed? How much more pain and suffering do we as a nation have to endure!?!?

I don’t know how to stop the conflict in Israel. I don’t know how to stop sinat chinam. I don’t know any of these answers. But I do know, that if we remember, recall and never forget, we, as a nation will find an answer. Let's make sure that each and every Jew that was murdered, for just that, being a Jew, has not died in vain. Let's make sure every Daniel, every Leiby is remembered.

26 comments:

  1. Why is it sinat chinam? I think a lot of the hatred toward the fanatic charedim are well earned.

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  2. @ Holy Hyrax
    It goes both ways. And, its not just hatred at chariedim. People there are just going insane. Last night the chabad yeshiva in Jerusalem had rocks thrown at it and windows smashed by yeshivishe bachurim. Thats insane.

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  3. Dear Holy Hyrax-
    I guess I shouldn't be surprised that you are writing the way u do - u r quite consisten!!!!

    But what about the "regular-not-fanatic" charedim who were beaten up after the great campaign (led by Yair Lapid who has now announced his entry in to politics and was the one who used the Margolis's pain to promote an agenda that is really against who the Margolises are themselves - as they are frum and send their daughter to an all girl quite frum school)- that u perhaps don't even know about (like a 10 yr old little girl who was hit on the bus and shamed so much that the Egged bus driver - not Mehadrin - stopped the bus to help her and other incidents) There are fanatics on each side, no?

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  4. 1) Why should we let antisemites define what it means to be Jewish?

    2) It's condescending and disrespectful, not to mention wrong, to imply that Jews are leaving Judaism (primarily) because of this kind of thing and not because, for example, we live in a time where it's obvious to any intelligent, open-minded person with access to secular books or the internet that Orthodox Judaism isn't true. (E.g. the exodus didn't happen, etc.)

    Not that the ultra-Orthodox are helping things.

    3) The idea that "Jews are all one" (as opposed to "people are all one") is much closer to being part of The Problem than it is to being part of what makes the world a better place. It's a form of tribalism, which is exactly what this Jew vs. Jew stuff is based on, just on another level. The problem isn't that people are making their tribes too small (haredi&chiloni vs Jew) but that they think that their tribe is better than every other tribe. Once you teach that Jews are better than other tribes (and don't tell me you don't) you are teaching that way of thinking.

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  5. JA - #2 was condescending and disrespectful itself. Further, most people from any study on it don't leave because of "intellectual" reasons. And, as you'd expect, disagree on the "isn't true" aspect.

    3) Depends how it's taught. I was never taught "better" - just some form of "chosen" which gives us greater abilities to be close to God through proper observance of His commandments, but also greater responsibilities that come along with that. I believe that's how it is taught to most. That said, there are certainly people who teach improperly and people who don't learn properly and interpret what they hear to fit their own agendas.

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  6. Further, most people from any study on it don't leave because of "intellectual" reasons.

    And what studies are those?? I think it's safe to say I know a little more about this subject than you do.

    As for "better" vs. "chosen," that line of argument always sounded like rationalization to me. Lots of big-name rabbis, not to mention laypeople, clearly think Jews are superior.

    Besides, even if Jews are considered just different, separate but equal if you will, it's practically inevitable that that mindset causes divisions and problems. It's a way of "othering" people.

    As for the Exodus, please.

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  7. JA - People who have actually performed studies on people who've left, from informal ones such as Faranek Margolese's or my friend's.

    I don't think that's true at all. You clearly spend more time with people just like you when it comes to leaving the fold. From my POV, I see who's left, period. Most didn't leave because of intellectual issues.

    How is it a rationalization? Name me a single respected Rabbi who says what you're saying. Heck, name me one of your own teachers who did so (not your interpretation of it).

    Every group sets itself as an other. Liberals do this even more so, if you'd like.

    As for the Exodus - go read up on it, there's a lot there. I have. :) (Also, fwiw, my non-religious cousin is an archaeologist who did digs in the area.)

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  8. I don't think that's true at all. You clearly spend more time with people just like you when it comes to leaving the fold. From my POV, I see who's left, period. Most didn't leave because of intellectual issues.

    I think we might disagree on why particular people left. You don't have to be an intellectual to think that the whole thing's obviously just as made up as all the other religions, and if you feel that way you're more like to go off for what you would consider non-intellectual reasons -- but the underlying cause is that they don't believe it's true.

    As an "out-of-town" OTDer, there are few enough that I don't just know those like me -- I know a ton of OTDers of all stripes. I'm also active in an online group of OTDers who run the gamut.

    How is it a rationalization? Name me a single respected Rabbi who says what you're saying. Heck, name me one of your own teachers who did so (not your interpretation of it).

    Anything I point out will be rationalized. I point out that you say "Pour out thy wrath" every seder and you'll say that's only talking about groups that killed the Jews, even though that's not what it says. I point out that you don't have to do hashavas aveida for non-Jews and you'll come up with some excuse. I point out that a rabbi said that Jews have an extra neshama or that non-Jews don't go to the same Heaven and you'll toss him off as an aberration. I'll quote something from the gemara and you'll say that it's taken out of context or something. I know how this goes.

    Every group sets itself as an other. Liberals do this even more so, if you'd like.

    *eyeroll* Liberal isn't even a group, it's a loose philosophy.

    As for the Exodus - go read up on it, there's a lot there. I have. :) (Also, fwiw, my non-religious cousin is an archaeologist who did digs in the area.)

    I have. Secular and non-fundamentalist scholars say it didn't happen while fundamentalists look for excuses. Try doing some honest research starting at wikipedia or any actual (i.e. without an agenda) history book instead of cherry-picking friendly sources.

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  9. EZ - I recall you saying to me that you will always prefer to be the one hurt, taken advantage of, etc than to be the one who did the bullying---

    The same can apply here - There may be people who are considered "top-notch" Frum and still might do something appalling - against the same values they are representing - that is for sure a big Chilul Hashem - sepecially if it is a Rabbi, Rosh Yeshiva, etc

    But - that doesn't mean he is acting as a Frum Jew should and yes, it could be that a "regular" unlearned layman is way ahead of the "top-notch" Frum Jew - in his Middos, relationships, honesty, etc and the world just doesn't know - but Hsshem does (we are in the Olam HaSheker - no?)

    Take care - we'd love to see you

    MG (from NY, Yerushalaim)

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  10. JA- Christianity also thinks in the same mindset- they think Jesus was the "Chosen One". People were persecuted for not converting to Christianity - because Christianity was superior and better than the rest. Islam believes along the same lines. Judaism is the opposite- they try to deter people who want to convert- so I don't think you can use the "holier than though" argument here.

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  11. I think you don't understand why they try to deter people.

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  12. It's never a good idea to judge Judaism by a few of it's practitioners, but you should certainly judge it by the majority.

    And by Judaism, obviously this should refer to the various Jewish sects, as Judaism as whole is not practiced in any particular way. (was it ever?)


    Personally, I see this as a historical opportunity for us to make a "Tikun" on the events leading up to the destruction of the beit Hamikdash. I'm doing my small part, but people don't like the idea of apologizing for the behavior of "other Jews"

    We need to say "aravim zeh l'zeh", and not write off any Jew as being in another "camp". Only after we do this personally, can the rest of the Jewish people follow.

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  13. ". I'm also active in an online group of OTDers who run the gamut."

    JA, you should know, if you actually cared about these things (but I imagine you don't) that what you have there is selection bias.

    People who identify as OTDers, are by definition, not the people who are truly going OTD. Those people, leave completely, and have no affiliation with other Jews at all. They wouldn't join a group of people "like them", they would join a group of their interests. Either biking, or geekdom, or sports or whatever they are into.

    Surveys have been done on the topic in regards to christianity, and there isn't any reason why their reasons should be different than other religions.

    "We already know one result, that "the group that has grown the most in recent years due to religious change is the unaffiliated population". One surprise result: "many people who left a religion to become unaffiliated say they did so in part because they think of religious people as hypocritical or judgmental, because religious organizations focus too much on rules or because religious leaders are too focused on power and money. Far fewer say they became unaffiliated because they believe that modern science proves that religion is just superstition." There's a lesson here for atheists (like the Cobourg Atheist) who try to help religious people become rational." From: http://www.cobourgatheist.com/index.php?option=com_content&view=article&id=248:why-do-people-leave-their-religion&catid=99&Itemid=147

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  14. Also Ironic, is the Torah says in Devarim 4:6+ that indeed, in keeping the mitzvot, Judaism will be judged by the Jewish people!

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  15. I think the idea is that seeing religious people being hypocritical causes people to question it... because if even the very religious don't believe (hence the hypocrisy) maybe the whole thing's bogus?

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  16. I mean, think about it. If people actually believed that God was going to punish them, they would be too scared to go OTD, wouldn't they?

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  17. "being hypocritical causes people to question it... because if even the very religious don't believe (hence the hypocrisy) maybe the whole thing's bogus?"

    You are making some very strange assumptions here. Let me explain to you what the data in the studies actually depict.

    1. People assume that religion and religious practice help refine a person. It makes them more human and less of animals.

    2. When they see hypocrisy, they recognize that the details and restrictions that they don't like, which will supposedly refine them, ends up not refining the people who do follow them.

    3. The hypocrisy is proof of the system not working, and so they move to another system.


    Belief rarely has anything to do with it. (Which you would know if you read the studies, because people still declare strong beliefs, just not in that particular organized religion, or sect)


    People do not leave their religious affiliation if they find religious people hypocritically not praying fervently enough, or not doing enough "superstitious" actions.

    They do leave if they find religious people being crooks, taking bribes, abusing power etc.

    "I mean, think about it. If people actually believed that God was going to punish them, they would be too scared to go OTD, wouldn't they?"

    I don't think Gd is going to punish me, and I'm not OTD.

    What does Christian zealotry have to do with Religious belief?

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  18. Sorry Anonymous

    I am not a supporter of Yair Lapid. But Yair Lapid is a symptom of the charedi madness. He did not emerge out of a vacuum

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  19. But if you were going to go OTD even though you still believed, you don't think God would punish you?

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  20. JA- many people, both OTD and still religious, do believe in G-d and that G-D will punish them. But because it is not necc in this world and not a "cause and effect" type of punishment, many people just shrug it off, like they would rather sin and see the consequences later. (It's like eating food that isn't good for you- people do it, even though they know they will gain weight- but because the weight gain is usually later, they still eat the food then).

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  21. "But if you were going to go OTD even though you still believed, you don't think God would punish you?"

    No.

    I believe Gd gave us the Halahot because it is what is best for us, and best for the Jewish people, and best for the world. Going OTD is punishment enough itself, because you remove yourself from that system. Gd doesn't need to punish you separately. Childish people need punishments, and childish people find motivation in not being punished.

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  22. Very good essay - and yet it's anonymous. In my opinion, that is a HUGE part of the problem. Finally, finally, Orthodox Jews are realizing we have to start standing up against the craziness before it turns Judaism into an unrecognizable ugly imitation of the worst fundamentalist faiths... but still almost no one is ready to stick his or her neck out publicly in a way that is meaningful.

    These thugs have no shame, so they are defining the conversation. What are our modern and centrist rebbeim so ashamed of that we have so few of them fighting back? Halacha - the Shulchan Aruch - the Torah itself - are all demonstrably on our side on most of these issues.

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  23. Why should we let self-proclaimed atheists define what it means to be Jewish?

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