SerandEz and Friends

Maybe, Redux

2012-01-30T21:27:00.001-05:00

After this recent post, I received a number of comments and emails, including from some family members, which were all quite nice and appreciated. They also led me to believe that my point in the post had been misunderstood, but that is all right - sometimes misunderstandings help remind us of so much.

In a surprisingly common occurrence, one family member e-mailed with something that I once said to them:

"...Remember years ago when you spoke about Hashem testing those He loves, and you said something to the effect of 'Well, He must not love me very much...'..."

Heh. The thought that came to mind shortly after reading this was "...squeezing a bit too hard with this hug, God!" Kidding aside, it is an important idea to remember - when life is easy, we tend not to appreciate it enough; and when it's too hard, we "appreciate" it too much.

My point in the previous post was never to compare to others, but to what might have been for ourselves under difference circumstances (with various portions of others' lives serving as reminders of what we did not have - regardless of what we may have had that they did not). While a pointless exercise from a life standpoint, as one can never re-live their lives differently, and attempts to recapture 'missing' portions of life is futility, it does have its positives as well. Looking back can help remind someone of ideals and pursuits they feel to be important that perhaps they've lost sight of, and it often helps one appreciate just how much they have learned and grown from their own experiences, however difficult.

Do I wish certain portions of our lives had played out far differently? Certainly. Would I trade what actually happened for a different life? Certainly not.

The story in the prior post truly says it best:

Once upon a time there was a Chinese farmer whose horse ran away, and all the neighbors came around to commiserate that evening. "So sorry to hear your horse ran away. This is most unfortunate." The farmer said, "Maybe." The next day the horse came back bringing seven wild horses with it, and everybody came back in the evening and said "Oh, isn't that lucky. What a great turn of events. You now have eight horses!" And he said "Maybe." The next day his son tried to break one of these horses and ride it but he was thrown, and broke his leg, and they all said, "Oh dear, that's too bad," and he said, "Maybe." The following day the conscription officers came around to conscript people into the army and they rejected his son because he had a broken leg. Again all the people came around and said, "Isn't that great!" And he said, "Maybe."

Right now, I can also see how we could look at it all and say "Wow, that's terrible" - and that would be true. I can also see how in a few years, I'll look back at the previous years and see how without it all, we wouldn't be where we are, and how lucky we are that it happened as it all did, and how we could all remark "Isn't it great?!" - and that, too, is true.

We need the rough times to appreciate the good ones; and we need the good ones to survive the rough ones. This does not mean that we cannot or should not lament the rough nor enjoy the good. Instead, we should lament, yet learn; rejoice, and appreciate.

Remember

2012-01-10T14:35:00.004-05:00

Guest post by AnonT

Less then a year ago, the world mourned as Leiby Kletzky was found, brutally murdered and butchered. Jews as a nation and the world mourned. Jews everywhere stood together, were unified in trying to understand this travesty, in trying to bring comfort to a shocked and bereaved family. This past summer, two young boys were tragically killed as they drove home from the mountains. And just months ago, Jews around the world, regardless of affiliation, spent 25 hours standing, praying and fasting on Yom Kippur.

Yet today, I open up the news and see Jews against Jews. I see children petrified and other children being used in horrific ways. I see comparisons of Jews, by Jews, to the vile evil that were/are the Nazis. It is enough to make you sick.

It is unfortunate, but I have been told for many years that it is imperative that we don’t Judaism by its practitioners but by the religion itself. While I accept this, it any wonder that so many Jews are leaving Judaism? Is it a wonder that those of us who are sticking it out with Judasim are disillusioned? When we Jews tear ourselves apart, when we fight with each other, when we tear each other down, when we lose sight of what our life is supposed to be about, the value of God, Torah and mitzvoth, are eradicated right before our eyes.

What does it take to make us Jews remember that we are all one? What will it take to ensure we remain united, even in our disagreements? Our enemies seem to have no problem remembering that a Jew is a Jew is a Jew. When 6 million jews were murdered in Europe less than 100 years ago, there was no discrimination. When Jews were burnt on the auto de fay in the Inquisition, a Jew was a Jew. When pogroms occurred, blood libels, tach ve’tat, it did not matter! We were all Jews. When bombings go off on buses, in restaurants, in wedding halls and in dance clubs, a Jew is a Jew.

Almost 10 years ago to this day, Daniel Pearl was beheaded and it was because, as he said himself, "My name is Daniel Pearl. I am a Jewish American from Encino, California, USA. I come from, uh, on my father's side the family is Zionist. My father's Jewish, my mother's Jewish, I'm Jewish. My family follows Judaism.” His captors did not care if he was from NY or California, if he was Reform, Conservative, or Chassidic. He was a Jew. His mother was a Jew. He was Jewish. That was enough. Do we forget? Do we forget the murder of the young Israeli in Europe a few years ago? I don’t remember his name, or what country he was in. But I remember the picture of him, in his happy days, sitting on a fence. And I know that he is no longer alive. Killed because he was a Jew.

Yaakov and Eisav were given brachot, the essential foundation of our nation. The brachot said that while one nation was up, the other nation would be forced serve the other. We are pulling ourselves down, and in doing so, we are forcing ourselves to serve those who have sought to kill us in every generation, at every chance they can get.

We are told countless times in our religion, zachor, remember! And if we weren’t told to remember, then the way of the world is to remember in order to understand history, and refrain from making mistakes again. We just had Chanukah, have we forgotten so recently the destruction of what we had? Purim is so soon, have we forgotten that we as a nation were so almost annihilated? Do we need MORE calamities and deaths and near destructions of our entire nation, to learn the lesson achdut!?!?!?!?

What else has to happen? How many more people, mothers, fathers, sisters, brothers, friends have to weep because their loved one, OUR brother or sister, are killed? How much more pain and suffering do we as a nation have to endure!?!?

I don’t know how to stop the conflict in Israel. I don’t know how to stop sinat chinam. I don’t know any of these answers. But I do know, that if we remember, recall and never forget, we, as a nation will find an answer. Let's make sure that each and every Jew that was murdered, for just that, being a Jew, has not died in vain. Let's make sure every Daniel, every Leiby is remembered.

Patience in Building

2012-01-09T22:14:00.001-05:00

'Tis a very rare occasion in life which does not warrant patience. From relationships (contrary to the belief of some) to marriage to raising children to career opportunities, having patience is key to being more successful.

Lately, people in certain circles cannot help but keep reading about a particular subject and people's reactions to and opinions on it, and it has been truly irksome. The lack of patience, particularly toward people and an approach in an area of life in which people are almost completely unfamiliar is astounding. More frustrating than that is how incredibly repetitively self-destructive this lack of patience has proven to be in the past, and to see people calling to do it again makes one wonder if people are simply deserving of the fate they are receiving: 'Fool me once...' Instead, here is the key: Stop looking at what everyone else is doing, and realize that to be successful, you have to build what works best for you.

In the case of the Cleveland Browns, this is an incredibly important lesson. (What, not what you thought this was going to be about?) I've been a Browns fan my entire life, with my first football memory (of course) The Fumble, and my first game a season-opening 13-3 win over the Pittsburgh Steelers (woo!). For much of my life, the Browns have tried to be copycats in a copycat league... except what everyone neglects to realize is that the copycats are never the ones who are ultimately the champions. It is only the trend-setters who are able to succeed in their schemes, and everyone else is merely a weak copy.

In the last couple of years, it looked like the Browns were finally going to give a front office a chance to build from the foundation up. That they too quickly undermined Eric Mangini's approach is academic at this point; now, they are building toward a Mike Holmgren-style team, with some adjustments from lessons learned over many years. It is mind-boggling to call for Coach Pat Shurmur to be fired after a single year on the job, a year in which with no real training camp, nearly no offensive talent, incredible gaffes, and countless injuries in a difficult division he still managed to keep nearly every game close with a team that always strongly supported him. To even discuss firing Shurmur smacks of an impatience that will never allow success unless it occurs via miracle (insert Tebow joke here).

Instead, let's take a step back and look at how the Browns are being built, particularly giving credence to the front office as if they're actually telling the truth (gasp!) when they discuss how they plan to build the team: Via the draft, with strategic free agency signings only once the core is established to push the team over the top. Currently, the Browns have three picks in the first 37 of the 2012 draft (#s 4, 22, and 37). They also have a very strong young core on defense, and a relatively good offensive line, certainly on the left side.

Perhaps the most interesting overlooked aspect of the team is how it is structured defensively. The Browns' defense is structured primarily to stop intermediate and long passes and short-yardage runs. Perhaps more importantly, the Browns' defense is built to play with a lead. It is a pass-rushing line, including the defensive tackles, and a defense which does not utilize many blitzes except an occasional safety blitz with a clear lane (think forcing the QB to throw quickly) and linebackers covering short zones. The linebackers are zone coverage players who even on short-yardage run situations start 4-5 yards back and rush forward into gaps. And the corners, especially Joe Haden, are trusted to cover their man on their own in the short time the line is designed to give the opposing QB to throw. Only one team (Pittsburgh) gave up less passes of 20 or more yards. Only seven gave up less of 40+ yards, and Browns fans will recall that most of those eight long gains were actually short passes that had missed tackles. In essence, the Browns' defense is built as a hybrid of the Steelers (stable design), Jets/Eagles (corners first), Giants (pass rush), and Niners (goal line) defenses, with stud players in the pass rush and secondary, allowing otherwise slightly above average LBs to truly excel.

It is worth noting that based on the above, it would actually be interesting to see if the Browns take LSU's stud cornerback Morris Claiborne if he's available at the 4th pick. If he is as good as advertised, it would give the Browns two "#1" CBs, allowing TJ Ward to give even greater focus to what he does best, which is supporting the run defense. (It would also give the Browns incredible depth in the secondary, with at least Claiborne, Haden, Patterson, Skrine, Ward, Young, Adams, and Hagg.) Even if they don't feel a need to get Claiborne, there will certainly be excellent cover corners available in the early second round for them. This - especially coupled with a RDE - could make the Browns' defense a truly dominant one, and for many years to come, as nearly everyone in the starting lineup would be in their early-mid 20s. It would also make it easier for the Browns to bring projects in in future years to learn the defense, similar to how the Steelers have been able to stick nearly anyone into their scheme thanks to the support around them as they learned and improved.

That leaves the big question: How can such a team have a lead to play with? Here, too, the Browns' direction may show an answer. One of the interesting notes when looking at successful lines is that they often have Pro-Bowl caliber players at two or three spots, allowing the other linemen to excel. The Browns have a future Hall of Famer at LT in Joe Thomas, and a Pro Bowler at C in Alex Mack. Unsurprisingly, a 6th round rookie had a reasonably good year working in between the two of them, while the other side of the line struggled mightily. It would be interesting to see if the Browns - assuming they don't pick Claiborne - either take Matt Kalil if he's still available, or actually choose to trade down a few spots to a team desperate for Griffin III and pick up Iowa's Riley Reiff and put him at RT, adding another 2nd round pick or similar in the process. Between Kalil/Reiff and the return of Pro Bowler Eric Steinbach, the Browns could have a line that is incredibly dominant and also mostly rather young (outside of Steinbach). More impressively, it would be a nice innovation to approach a West Coast Offense with the mindset of having All-Pro level tackles on each side and another at center, and even another at guard. Having that extra time until wide receivers can find the proper seams and having that kind of line to run behind has helped spur many a champion.

In addition, the Browns made the clear decision to not pursue free agent WRs last season, choosing instead to spend their extra money on locking up many other key players into long-term deals and keeping a lot of money available for this year and next. This year's free agent WR list is stacked, and while it's unclear if the Browns plan on pursuing any of the really big names, they certainly have more quality options than existed last year. Even bringing in one above average WR would dramatically alter the Browns' abilities on the offensive side, with Greg Little in his second season and Jordan Norwood showing the ability to stretch the field as a 3rd or 4th option.

Running back is a bit more of a question mark - while re-signing Peyton Hillis and the return of Brandon Jackson would basically solve it, it is possible the Browns feel they don't need a RB such as Hillis, particularly with his durability issues both seasons. There are plenty of RBs with similar or better "pedigrees" available for less, and in the West Coast Offense the Browns are running, it's possible they'll go without Hillis. That said, I think that they'll try to re-sign Hillis to an incentive-laden contract and that he'll come back to take it.

Finally, this approach, starting with a strong offensive line, should allow Colt McCoy to truly succeed. McCoy showed the ability to throw very well given enough time, and in fact has been far better than many great QBs from history over the same period of their careers, throwing for more TDs than INTs, more yards, and a much higher completion percentage (despite a team which led the league in drops). Even if he shows he cannot, the Browns would still be in a strong position to bring in a rookie QB the following year (Matt Barkley?) into a stacked team with a great line.

All in all, it is quite possible that the following scenario will occur for the Browns: They will draft a top tackle, a strong right defensive end, and an elite cover cornerback in the first two rounds of the draft, and pick up a decent but not spectacular WR on the free agent market for relatively cheap (such as an Early Doucet). They will then be a upper-middle of the pack team, with a standout defense and a middling offense led by a great line which shows flashes, but which ultimately both wins and loses a number of close games in a pretty difficult schedule against similar level teams (facing the NFC East and AFC West), winning about half their division games as well. They will then head into the 2013 season with a couple of small holes discovered during the year and easily solved through free agency (prediction: LB, DL depth) and one gaping hole at WR, and will have the opportunity - much as Atlanta did - to trade up to grab the WR they desire in the draft, and they will do so. The biggest difference is that the Browns will be starting with a much better defense than Atlanta, and this may be the difference between being a playoff loser and a team that can make a run at a Super Bowl... or a few.

It just takes a little time, that's all.

Maybe

2012-01-05T01:24:00.003-05:00

Via the cuz:

Once upon a time there was a Chinese farmer whose horse ran away, and all the neighbors came around to commiserate that evening. "So sorry to hear your horse ran away. This is most unfortunate." The farmer said, "Maybe." The next day the horse came back bringing seven wild horses with it, and everybody came back in the evening and said "Oh, isn't that lucky. What a great turn of events. You now have eight horses!" And he said "Maybe." The next day his son tried to break one of these horses and ride it but he was thrown, and broke his leg, and they all said, "Oh dear, that's too bad," and he said, "Maybe." The following day the conscription officers came around to conscript people into the army and they rejected his son because he had a broken leg. Again all the people came around and said, "Isn't that great!" And he said, "Maybe."

The last couple of years have been interesting ones for us, as many readers of this blog are well aware. 2010 started wonderfully, took not one but a number of sharp turns for the worst, before finally ending on a bad note. 2011 started on a bad note, the bad news piled on... and then everything started to change for the better, culminating in a bit of awesome near the end.

I have always felt that everything happens for a reason - and that much of the time, it will be years before we can possibly understand what that reason was.

At the moment, while there are still clouds that lurk over us from the past that it will take years to fully get away from, life seems overall rather bright and sunny - certainly, our lives (finally) seem to be headed in the right direction. It saddens me somewhat to know that I cannot fully shake the worry that yet another unforeseen occurrence, some new twist, will ruin it all, that I cannot simply enjoy life as it occurs and be completely optimistic about the future - that no matter what, I am compelled to feel only that "maybe" the positives will last. But despite this, I am optimistic overall, and hope that this path ahead of us is not just another "maybe" along the way.

It is difficult to think about our lives and notice that others have had generally easier lives in many ways. Certainly nobody knows what truly goes on 'behind closed doors', nor does anybody know what everyone else's troubles are. Nevertheless, it is not difficult to have a general idea of what trials and tribulations people have or have not faced in their lives. It is not out of jealousy nor out of hate that I cannot help but wonder how life might have been had our lives been as easy-going as others have experienced. That said, I can't imagine having lived without learning all the lessons I have learned over these years.

But I certainly wouldn't mind some easy time...

The Economics of Dating

2011-12-21T11:34:00.000-05:00

From Forbes.com

Money matters because dating is a way of sizing someone up and assessing the value of their company. Every decision on a date can be broken down on an economic level. Which place did you choose, what clothes are you wearing, which beer did you order, what words did you use to describe your job, your living situation, your family?
Serial daters just want another person in their lives, one might say, at any cost. And it’s true. Dating does cost something. Patience, time, vulnerability, and dollars and cents. Long distance relationships have larger opportunity costs. Plane or bus tickets might have been used to pay for a nicer apartment.
Fairy tales have an even steeper price. Girls my age grew up on Disney movies and some attribute unrealistic expectations to them, but they should remember that Ariel sold her voice and Belle traded her freedom—Prince Charmings don’t come cheap and neither do plain, ordinary significant others. Some might say that it’s all worth it. It’s certainly good for the economy: every failed movie date provides capital to make yet another independent romantic dramedy. Yet, I often hear people complaining about the complexity of dating and it might be because they aren’t thinking about it economically.

Its interesting to think about dating that way. I hardly ever went to a restaurant on earlier dates because I did not think it was worth the money, especially since I paid for my own dates. But I think the final line of the article makes a lot of sense; people should not put a dollar sign on everything, but should not disregard the fact that they should look at how one chooses a partner from an economical standpoint (how much love, patience, and attention you are able to spread out over a dating period).

Unorthodox

2011-12-14T08:55:00.001-05:00

(Hat tip: Mirie) This fundraising project on Kickstarter looks interesting:

Unorthodox is a feature documentary that follows three teenagers from the modern Orthodox community as they spend a post-high school year studying in Israel. Tzipi, an intellectually gifted young woman, travels with intentions of clarifying her problems with Orthodox interpretations of Jewish law. Jake, a musician, wants to follow the religion but doesn’t see how he can reconcile his faith with his professional ambitions. Chaim, a half-Dominican bad-boy, undertakes his year of study without thinking about the possibilities of religious growth; he goes to Israel because tuition is paid for by his rabbis. In addition to documentary cinematography shot in the US and Israel, Tzipi, Chaim and Jake film themselves throughout the year with video diaries, offering an incredibly vivid and intimate glimpse into their lives. Narration throughout the film weaves Anna’s own story—of leaving the modern Orthodox community—with that of the three subjects, lending a very personal glimpse into the world of Orthodox Judaism.

They're looking to gather many small donations to complete the project, which is most of the way there already (all filming was completed, etc.). If you're interested in seeing this, read about it and donate!

Speaking of unorthodox, Chana sums up the YU Beacon story best: Writing a (poor) weak erotica-style piece with some confusing details about a girl's first-or-not time having sex with a guy she is-or-isn't in a serious relationship with is about attention-seeking, not about discussing an issue seriously. If they wished to discuss the issue of pre-marital sex among Orthodox people seriously, they could have done so by actually discussing it as a serious piece [much as Chana did with other aspects of the subject, as she notes]. Yes, there would still be much objection to this - a reasonable argument could be made for or against YU's school newspapers being the proper forum for such discussions - but at least it would be defensible [I should disclose that I did not think even Chana's were all necessary/appropriate, but they were at least defensible]. Oh, and in case it wasn't clear this was about attention, leaking it to national media is rather immature as well: Deal with the fallout within the context you wrote a piece, don't seek media to try and force and/or embarrass your university. Kudos to YU and its students for standing strongly against this, and it seems that the general consensus even from media was "...that was crappy writing."

And finally, singer/rapper Matisyahu shaved his beard. He's also still Orthodox, not "Un-Orthodox" (and looks really tired). So... who cares?

And Then There Were Three

2011-12-11T10:06:00.001-05:00

Welcome to the world, Ariella Shalvah Goldish! Born 8 pounds, 12 ounces (3,970 grams it said, not that anyone knows what that means) at Mt. Sinai hospital yesterday afternoon.

Elianna and Kayla are incredibly excited to be big sisters! Serach and Ariella are doing great, bH.

House Over Health = ...Hero?

2011-12-07T23:13:00.001-05:00

(HT: Josh Yuter)

A lady named Spike Ward penned an op-ed yesterday in the LA Times discussing how she was formerly against ObamaCare, but now that she has cancer, she has changed her mind. In her words:

The time finally came when we had to make a choice between paying our mortgage or paying for health insurance. We chose to keep our house. We made a nerve-racking gamble, and we lost.

Now, she has discovered that ObamaCare has a provision which allows her to get insurance, and this may now help save her life.

From the comments on her op-ed and on Facebook, etc., it seems as if many people are hailing this as a proof that ObamaCare is wonderful. While certainly it is wonderful for Mrs. Ward that she can now be treated without going broke, isn't this absurd? Mr. and Mrs. Ward made a conscious decision to choose their house over their health insurance, and contrary to her statement that "We chose to keep our house. We made a nerve-racking gamble, and we lost", they in fact won: They got to keep their house, and their health insurance tab is now being picked up by the rest of the country (somewhat indirectly, as she is paying premiums, but that is not the point).

Contrast that with the decisions made by millions of people each day who consciously choose to keep their health insurance intact and sacrifice in other ways: Nobody is picking up the tab for their foreclosed (or sold at a loss) homes or their cars. They don't get to keep everything they had and then have the rest of the country cover anything they can't afford anymore. It is a horrible testament to this country that someone's irresponsible and selfish "gamble" is being guaranteed by the federal government* and that that burden is being carried by people who made responsible decisions.

* Note that this is no different than the bank bailouts in that sense, except that at least the argument there was (however much I may disagree) that despite their irresponsibility, a bailout was necessary to avoid others being hurt as well. Here, the only beneficiary is Mrs. Ward and her family, who get to keep their house and have her healthcare paid for by everyone else.

Jewish Economics Survey - Redux

2011-12-06T23:14:00.001-05:00

A few years back, a number of friends kept asking me questions about finances, particularly when it came to getting married. "What does it cost to live for a young couple in their first few months? First year? First three years? With a kid? In a 2-bedroom apartment vs. a 1-bedroom?" ...You get the idea.

While I would try to answer as best as I could, at the end of the day, everybody's expenses are different. I decided to try e-mailing some questions to friends, and as friends and I thought of more and more questions, it was decided to make it into a Google form. From there, it turned into a questionnaire, and finally, the Jewish Economics Survey was born. Thanks to the help of many individuals (particularly Tamar Snyder Chaitovsky) and through much discussion, the data gathered was formally presented to extremely engaging crowds, and the knowledge gained has impacted many people tremendously - including myself. For example, it was only after creating the survey that we finally took to heart how important having life insurance is. My favorite letter has always been this one:

Right when you came out with the survey, I took it. I also emailed you to say thank you for giving me the nudge to speak to my chasan. I am happy to announce that one year into our marriage, we are DEBT FREE and even have savings (two-months of salary!).

What's truly great (besides this couple) is that this was a completely side benefit of the survey, one which admittedly wasn't realized until after a number of people had already taken it. The primary purpose of the survey was to have information for people to utilize while preparing for different stages of life, whether sharing a singles apartment in Washington Heights, being a newly married couple in Baltimore, having two kids in Brooklyn, raising three teenagers in Cleveland, or surviving five tuition payments in Houston. What people have taken out of the survey for themselves has been nothing short of incredible.

It's now about to be 2012, and with some tweaks, I'd like to give the survey another go-round. A number of organizations have expressed serious interest in the survey and its potential utilities, and it would be incredible if we had the resources to do this in a more formal fashion - but first, let's see what can be done just like this. To have at least some understanding of what the cost of living is in various Orthodox communities in the country is would be fantastic; and to be able to identify just what people are struggling with most - and to what extent - is incredibly important.

The Jewish Economics Survey is completely anonymous and takes most people about 10-15 minutes to complete*. Please take the time to fill out the survey and help us all have a more clear picture of both our present and our future.

Please also pass along and share the survey with friends and family, spouses and Facebook friends at http://tinyurl.com/jeconomics. Please share any feedback you have so this can continually be improved upon, and thanks so much for your time and help!

~ Ezzie

P.S. If you have formal survey training, actuarial skills, and/or programming skills and would like to help, we would love to improve upon both the survey itself and its presentation via a dedicated website which would present information for members of the community to prepare themselves for various changes, from a move to a marriage, from a birth to a child entering high school. If you are interested, please reach out to us at jeconomics@gmail.com or myself directly at serandez@gmail.com. Thank you very much.

* If you find that it takes longer, a) please let me know! and b) it's probably good that you took it. :)

Boring

2011-12-06T08:35:00.001-05:00

"Boring is the new exciting." ~ Cymbaline

When we're young, we often tend to love chaos. Chaos is exciting! Disorganization makes life interesting! Being all over the place is fun!

...and then, it gets tiring. A friend who was dating a few years back had what seemed to some people a very "boring" life: He would get up, go to work, come home, learn, watch some TV shows on his computer, travel to date sometimes... some people didn't understand it. "That seems so... dull." But he was happy. Some of those people had "exciting" lives, but they often were not.

Stability and predictability (in any aspect of life) are often the key to allowing people to adjust to difficult times. If life is chaotic, then everything that doesn't go perfectly can sends things into disarray. When everything is going smoothly, if something goes wrong, it's far easier to handle and fix. This is true at home, at work, in school, and in life.

Amen, Cymbaline.

How I Met Serach, Part XV: You're WHAT?! and Rockefeller Park

2011-11-28T00:01:00.000-05:00

This is Part XV of a series about how I proposed to Serach. To see the series, you could simply use the guide link under the header of the blog or this link right here titled "How I Met Serach".

Ezzie's note: In Part XIII, I explained the difficulty in writing this series. We spent this past weekend at my in-laws in Monsey, and I realized on Friday night that Shabbos was the 8th (!!) anniversary of when I first met Serach that fateful pre-Thanksgiving eve. I determined yet again to complete the series as best as I could, so here goes.

When we last left off, I was calling my parents to tell them about the girl I was dating. While perhaps initially surprised that I was dating, I believe they were at first fine with the idea... until they realized that I meant it was serious. And by serious, I meant Serious - that I wanted to marry this girl. At this point, they... panicked a bit. I am pretty sure I remember my mother explaining to my father, dumbfounded herself, that I was quite serious about this. My friends and roommates from that semester claim that it was a rather... "loud" discussion from what they could make out from the other rooms in the apartment, which rings a bell.

I do know that I discovered shortly thereafter that they had, late that night, called my Rebbe and principal from high school whom I and they both respect heavily and who knows Serach's family well from growing up to discuss it with him (more on that later), and I found out months later that they had also woken up our best friends in Israel in the middle of the night to ask them about her and her family as well. Luckily, they all had only positive things to say, so that mitigated many of their initial concerns and at least kept things from going insane... for a bit, anyway.

This is the point in our dating where a lot of the history merges together. A lot of what I remember in an order makes no sense, as they had to have happened earlier or later, so if stories seem to contradict, that's why.

One of our most beautiful dates, one which I recommend to most people who've dated a little bit (NOT for early dates), was when we went to the Rockefeller Center area in late December one night. You don't need to be Christian to appreciate the snowy and lit up trees, the beautiful ice sculptures, and the generally calm yet festive atmosphere in the air. You don't have to ice skate to appreciate watching people having fun on the ice skating rink. It's fun, it's relaxing, and it's romantic (shut off your phones). I still remember it as one of our most relaxing, fun dates, walking slowly through the area with the sculptures and stopping every now and then to just look around.

Eight years later, it's easy to see that the calm times are hard to come by. Between our jobs, the kids, and everything else that goes on, life always seems to be incredibly busy. I personally take advantage of quiet hours in the middle of the night to think and reflect, but it's not the same, and certainly isn't something we're able to share - if we're both up, then there's always something that needs to get done, something we need to remind each other about or a story we need to tell. A friend who stopped by today once told me a great analogy for marriage: When Troy Aikman was drafted by the Dallas Cowboys, in their first training camp session, he would take the snaps, step back... and hold the ball, waiting and waiting and waiting, until someone would tag him for a "sack". After this happened a few times, he was asked what he was waiting for. He answered that he was waiting for a receiver to get open - he was used to a college game where his WRs would be able to get wide open and it was easy for him to throw to them. One of the coaches told him, "This is the pros. Here, that IS open." Once you're married (or hit other major transitions in life), time disappears rapidly. You have to take advantage of every opportunity, or everything that needs to get done slowly (or rapidly) piles up on you, until it's impossible to manage. Troy Aikman learned his lesson and became a very good NFL quarterback, winning a few Super Bowls along the way. In a marriage, that's not as easy, but it's a lesson worth learning.

That all said, as important as it is to try and make some calm and quiet time, even when we can't, we can always think back to times when we could - and strive to capture more of those in the future. That night, walking around Rockefeller Center with Serach, was beautiful, and I always remember it.

Next up: It's Shidduch Time!

Some People Dream Big

2011-11-21T10:46:00.000-05:00

When I watched this video it made me think about how people make career choices. I mean does anybody actually grow thinking they want to be an accountant or do they fall into their career choice because they found something they want to do or because they happen to be good at it? When I think about my career choice, I know that I love my field and when I first heard about it, I knew thats what I wanted to do with my life. But would I have chosen it as a child and followed that dream of this job? Unlikely. As a child I thought I wanted to be a Rebbi. I adored my rebbeim and I had some really good ones as a child. Then I entered high-school and had such bad experiences that I never wanted to look at that profession.

So my question is specifically in terms of dreams and modeling (not economic factors)

A) Do we have a shortage of good teachers because of the bad teacher experience, because of the shortage of good male role-models in education?

B) Is there an interplay of having more women going into education because of the difference in quality of women educators?

C) Any other comments?

Perspective

2011-10-25T03:31:00.000-04:00

Via Princess D'Tiara, this video of Emmanuel Kelly auditioning for X Factor 2011 (Australia, I believe) is simply moving. I'm not sure who is more amazing; him, his brother, or his mom.

R' Schachter Slams Batei Dinin

2011-10-11T17:35:00.002-04:00

In an interview with Ami published on VIN, R' Herschel Schachter slams battei dinin (Jewish courts of law). [Hat tip: Eliezer StrongBad]

There is less of a surprise in the content of the interview (sadly) than in that he so openly discussed it, particularly the issues which he finds to be the most problematic (including to'ainim, people choosing and paying off their own judges, and the like). He offers a number of small suggestions that would help improve things, but overall he seems to feel that it depends on the people and their intent coming into beis din. If they have no interest in yashrus or justice then it is very difficult for a beis din to be formed properly and to mete out justice appropriately.

The most telling quotes:

Q: Would you call then the problem in the bais din system a crisis? A: It’s worse than a crisis. They tell me that there is a prominent talmid chacham in Flatbush who tells his baalei battim to go to a secular court because they stand a better chance of yoshor [justice] in a goyishe [non-Jewish] court than in a din Torah. If you ask him, he’ll deny it, but that’s what he tells people. Unfortunately, I think that the comment about yoshor is true.
Q: How do we bring public awareness to these problems? A: Rabbonim should speak about it. Why is there so much cheating in business? Rabbonim should get up once a year in shuls and speak about Lo sigzol, that you’re not allowed to cheat in business, and that you’re not allowed to cheat on your income tax. If you talk about it long enough it will have an effect on some of the baal habattim. Rabbonim have certain topics that they talk about in hashkafa. Let them give chizuk about gezel.
Q: Could there be a watchdog group, with rabbanim getting together to examine how the batei din are behaving? A: It’s a safek sakana [possible danger] for the watchdog group; they’re going to be killed.

Somewhere in Between

2011-10-11T10:43:00.000-04:00

I can't be
Losing sleep over this
No I can't
And now I cannot stop pacing
Give me a few hours
I'll have this all sorted out
If my mind would just stop racing

Cause I cannot stand still
I can't be this unsturdy
This cannot be happening

This is over my head
But underneath my feet
Cause by tomorrow morning I'll have this thing beat
And everything will be back to the way that it was

I wish that it was just that easy
Cause I'm waiting for tonight
Been waiting for tomorrow
I'm somewhere in between
What is real and just a dream?

~ Somewhere in Between by Lifehouse

I was sitting at this computer tonight, not quite ready to head to sleep, wanting to write... but not really sure what I wanted to write. I noticed that my Pandora was paused, so I hit play - and the above song started playing, and it was absolutely perfect.

Earlier today, a couple of good friends who are in town for Sukkos stopped by briefly to say hello, and one friend noted that the present time must be a nice feeling for me in a lot of ways: Thank God, some important aspects of life are looking up nicely, and before those "get going", I have a couple weeks to relax - particularly weeks that include Sukkos, which is always a really nice Yom Tov. I agreed (and do agree), but while this has been true for a few weeks now, there's this other feeling that comes along with it that's a bit weird: A feeling of being caught somewhere in between.

(I had written much more, but removed it.)

Suffice it to say that being somewhere in between is odd: It's hard, but it's not necessarily bad. As the song says, your mind is racing, but in circles. You feel unsturdy, but you feel that tomorrow you will be in far more control... probably. You've been waiting for so much, and prepared and worked hard for them, and now there's not much to do but wait - and then take it from there. Meanwhile, you just wait, knowing what's coming.

Here's to the future: May it be completely real, yet feel like a dream.

Life, Like History, Repeats Itself

2011-10-06T18:17:00.002-04:00

One of the nice aspects of having had a blog for a number of years is the ability to look back and recall what was going on, what happened, and how we felt about everything through various periods. I was curious to read what I'd written in prior years around Yom Kippur, if anything, as I am aware of the near preachy tone that can come across in such posts. At the same time, there can often be much meaning, particularly to myself, knowing what was meant then and especially now looking back, being able to view it from the present.

When I glanced back, I was struck by how apropos is the (ironically titled) post Apropos & Thank You from just before Yom Kippur in 2008. Admittedly, this year was probably a bit more difficult than that one, for a variety of reasons beyond anyone's control or knowledge - and similarly, there was only so much anyone could have done for us even if they were aware of it all. But that does not take away from what was written then, which is just as applicable today:

On behalf of Serach and myself, we'd like to wish everyone a g'mar chasima tova and a wonderful year. We'd like to thank all those who made this past year as good as it was; it had the potential to be a very difficult year for us in many ways, yet every time that was the case something would happen, someone would help us out, in ways that we will never truly be able to express our gratitude for. Often, we hear and see an understandable and important emphasis and focus on the big issues, the large gestures, and the need to focus on one's own self first - and those certainly do usually come first. But those who can and have done the little things, who have taken care of small but important details, and perhaps without even realizing it have tremendously impacted people by their simple care and friendship, thank you. It was without a doubt the little things that have gotten us through these hard times.

Some of you know who you are. Some of you think you know but your humility won't let you admit it to yourselves. There are some who don't even realize what they do, as they take it as a given - or can't fathom how they have helped despite being so far away or having done "so little". And then there are those who think they may have helped in the past but that something has changed. We thank all of you the same from us, and knowing what kind of people you are, many others owe you similar thanks. We hope to be as good to all of you as you have been to us.

As an aside, a person who can take a step back and look at a bigger picture cannot help but see more behind what goes on in day-to-day life, from the positives to the negatives, from the human side to the spiritual side.

May we all be blessed with a year of health, happiness, and hatzlacha.

Amen.

Dink and... Doink

2011-10-06T14:00:00.000-04:00

In 2009-2010, politicians (mostly Democratic) went after banks. The CARD act in 2009, Dodd-Frank in 2010, and other laws were passed to restrict various fees and limit interest rates being charged by banks. The obvious result of this was that banks began making a lot less money, particularly in certain areas - for example, banks could no longer charge retailers "swipe fees" for every transaction using their debit cards.

The even more obvious result is that banks, starting with Bank of America, will now charge debit card fees of $5 per month. Whoops!

Here is what inherently bothers me about how people stupidly approach regulations: There is never an end to them. Unless you completely restrict all free choice and eliminate the free market (and there are those who advocate this... as long as it's not for them), there is no way to "control" the market. People and companies do things and create primarily because it is worthwhile for them to do so. As soon as it ceases being worthwhile, they will stop. This is not "evil". This is reality.

The shortsighted approach people and politicians have when it comes to how regulations impact the economy is mind-boggling. I recently was reading about GOP Presidential candidate Herman Cain, and was pointed to video of a 1990s town hall meeting on President Clinton's healthcare plan, where then pizza company CEO Herman Cain challenged the effects of President Clinton's proposed plan on businesses such as his own. While Clinton's handle on the subject was solid, Cain was quite masterful in showing that for most businesses the impact would be quite harsh... and even though Clinton suggested passing that cost on to customers (!), that simply would not be enough, nor would smaller or midsize companies be able to compete long enough with the largest ones in that situation.

Let's forget for a minute that restricting freedom is wrong. What happens when a rule is made? There is a reaction. And if that reaction does not fit perfectly into the rule-makers' designs? Another rule is made... and this goes on forever, never solving the original problem fully while creating entirely different sets of problems along the way. In the comments to the last post, Vox Populi and I were having another positive and interesting debate, and one of the features was an aside on whether government should support people's post-high school educations. He was of the opinion that we could make college completely free for all, and this would service us better as a country. I strongly disagree for many reasons, and some of these are obvious objections, but for fun, we debated how this would work.

Essentially, what would end up happening in such a scenario (and I'm going to exaggerate on this, don't take it too seriously) is that there would be created a myriad of rules, as the response to every flaw in a rule is simply creating another rule: College education is free, to help people get a leg up in society. But, we don't want people going to school forever and never contributing, so we'll cap it at two degrees. But what if someone's first degrees don't work out or become obsolete? We'd have to make an exception. But then others would take advantage of this exception. Plus, what about people going to medical school? And what if someone is demonstrably better, and getting this third degree would help them contribute more? But that wouldn't be fair to the other person who didn't grow up with some of those advantages. But maybe we shouldn't support people who aren't going to contribute as much? Or maybe we should cap the number of people in each major? Or perhaps we should create a board which determines who should go into what field based on the skill sets they currently have. Also, now that we have X number of X major, but there aren't enough jobs for them, that would be a waste of taxpayer resources, so we should force companies to hire these students. The extra expense could be a tax credit to those businesses, picked up by the taxpayers. ...and so on. Meanwhile, costs would continue to skyrocket with no real value added - certainly not a value worth the cost.

A good example of value not worth the cost was the "stimulus", and another good one is President Obama's latest jobs proposal. Essentially, he wants to spend about $450 billion dollars, which would hopefully create about 2 million jobs. Essentially, the cost per job created would be $200,000 per job. How is that logical? I'm unemployed - I'll take $100,000, stop collecting unemployment, and government can keep the difference, is that a good deal? I'm betting that 4.5 million unemployed people would take that deal - how would that impact the unemployment rate, you think?

The silly approach of ignoring the consequences of regulations and other approaches within government needs to end. Instead, it's used to vilify individuals and corporations for doing what actually makes sense given the cards they are consistently being dealt by reality and government.

Proposed List of Demands from Occupy Wall St.

2011-10-04T15:38:00.005-04:00

From here:

Demand one: Restoration of the living wage. This demand can only be met by ending "Freetrade" by re-imposing trade tariffs on all imported goods entering the American market to level the playing field for domestic family farming and domestic manufacturing as most nations that are dumping cheap products onto the American market have radical wage and environmental regulation advantages. Another policy that must be instituted is raise the minimum wage to twenty dollars an hr.
Demand two: Institute a universal single payer healthcare system. To do this all private insurers must be banned from the healthcare market as their only effect on the health of patients is to take money away from doctors, nurses and hospitals preventing them from doing their jobs and hand that money to wall st. investors.
Demand three: Guaranteed living wage income regardless of employment.
Demand four: Free college education.
Demand five: Begin a fast track process to bring the fossil fuel economy to an end while at the same bringing the alternative energy economy up to energy demand.
Demand six: One trillion dollars in infrastructure (Water, Sewer, Rail, Roads and Bridges and Electrical Grid) spending now.
Demand seven: One trillion dollars in ecological restoration planting forests, reestablishing wetlands and the natural flow of river systems and decommissioning of all of America's nuclear power plants.
Demand eight: Racial and gender equal rights amendment.
Demand nine: Open borders migration. anyone can travel anywhere to work and live.
Demand ten: Bring American elections up to international standards of a paper ballot precinct counted and recounted in front of an independent and party observers system.
Demand eleven: Immediate across the board debt forgiveness for all. Debt forgiveness of sovereign debt, commercial loans, home mortgages, home equity loans, credit card debt, student loans and personal loans now! All debt must be stricken from the "Books." World Bank Loans to all Nations, Bank to Bank Debt and all Bonds and Margin Call Debt in the stock market including all Derivatives or Credit Default Swaps, all 65 trillion dollars of them must also be stricken from the "Books." And I don't mean debt that is in default, I mean all debt on the entire planet period.
Demand twelve: Outlaw all credit reporting agencies.
Demand thirteen: Allow all workers to sign a ballot at any time during a union organizing campaign or at any time that represents their yeah or nay to having a union represent them in collective bargaining or to form a union.
These demands will create so many jobs it will be completely impossible to fill them without an open borders policy.

Klal Perspectives

2011-10-04T10:16:00.000-04:00

Readers of this blog will most likely be very interested in a new publication that has sprung into existence with a strong initial entry, Klal Perspectives:

Klal Perspectives’s goal is to provide the Torah community with a forum to address and debate the major issues confronting the community today. We envision a quarterly journal in which a diverse group of rabbinic and lay leaders will share their varying perspectives on a given topic in each issue, with an eye to not only describing problems but also pointing to possible solutions. Input from the broader community will be sought and published as well, in order to broaden the discussion and enlist as many talents as possible in developing strategies for the future.

The mixture of people they've enlisted on this first issue is rather impressive, particularly considering the difficulty in drawing submissions for a first-time publication such as this (as the editor noted to me via e-mail). The journal wisely asked three questions to the writers, and let them decide where to go from there. I've had a chance to read a couple of the pieces so far, and they were fantastic.

In particular, it is heartwarming and comforting to see that this will not be a publication dedicated to either sugarcoating the problems we face as a community nor bashing individuals, organizations, or groups - nor is it unafraid to look at new approaches and to correct accepted assumptions and approaches which may no longer work as they once did (if they ever did at all). In short, it is genuinely and properly dedicated to solving real problems for the long-term rather than complaining about the ones we currently face.

One especially excellent essay is by Moishe Bane, on the Unintended Consequences of Compelling Strategies. He discusses briefly but thoroughly as examples three "representative topics" which are worthy of being addressed, including:

The Decline of Fatherhood - the increasing lack of fathers taking a major role in the education of and involvement with their children's lives and education
The Consequences of Isolationism - and how attention should be paid to "the impact that has had on both the broader Jewish community and on the frum community itself".
Communal Infrastructure - my personal favorite.

A choice quote:

Attendant with the expansion of the population and its affluence, local educational and service organizations have blossomed – but without coordination or objective consideration of communal priorities or implications. At the forefront of communal failures has been the virtual absence of even the effort to engage in deliberate, long-term planning, except in extremely select, localized instances. Despite the increased sophistication and affluence of the Torah community, communal decisions are made incidentally and with virtually no accumulation of data or infrastructure expertise. At the same time, the community confronts increasingly complex and serious social and educational challenges – challenges which are expected to grow.
Similarly, the community fails to engage, or even encourage, efforts at evaluating community priorities or eliminating duplication and inefficiency. Institutional transparency and economic and programmatic accountability remain elusive, as even active and influential philanthropists decline to impose such basic expectations on the beneficiaries of their largess.

The ability to recognize these issues and how they must be analyzed will be key to solving these issues, and the new journal seems dedicated to doing so, and doing so properly. In the original questions, the journal takes for granted that there simply is a large lack of empirical data to go on from which to design the future, and asks what data needs to be gathered to be successful. This is absolutely the proper approach, as data is the backbone to understanding what exists, what is real and what is perceived, and what is realistic as we try to move forward as a klal.

I wish the journal much success and look forward to its future, and suggest readers sign up to receive their quarterly journals. I believe it can have a strong positive impact on the Jewish Community's future, both in the short-term and especially in the long-term.

Yes, It Looks Different

2011-10-03T02:14:00.001-04:00

It appears the time has come to finally update to the new style of templates, and with G6 talking about it I started perusing the options. I'll still fix it up quite a bit, but meanwhile this is to start out. I believe you can choose your own view from the options on the top left, so enjoy.

One reason I'm switching it up is because this will probably become SerandEz v.4.0 or so, as I mentioned to a friend recently - more consistent, more essay/editorial in style, and more discussion inducing (or not, that's up to the readers). I hope everyone enjoys; if you're still reading after all these years, most likely you will, and thanks for continuing to come back. :)

UPDATE: Reverting for now, since apparently I can't insert any of my sidebar or header items at the moment. I'll switch once they've worked those issues out and/or started to allow widget functionality.

~ Ezzie

Day To Disconnect

2011-10-02T02:02:00.000-04:00

I have been wanting to post about this for a while. The video says it all, perfectly:

I think we so often think that we need to be accessible, or accessing, at all times - always connected. (Myself included, if not especially so.) One especially wise aspect of this campaign is that it was scheduled for today, Tzom Gedalya - immediately following a '3-day Yom Tov'. Yes - I had 92 e-mails when I got my phone and computer on. But I didn't turn my phone on for about an hour and a half after Shabbos... and the world didn't end. In fact, it hadn't ended the entire 74 hours my phone was off, or while my computer was off. I didn't even miss anything I really "needed" to see or learn that couldn't wait until I read about it later... and I'm a Red Sox hater as much as anyone who is sick of Boston sports teams.

I know that today is Tzom Gedalya, which means we're not going to be out and about. I know it's a Sunday, which means I will be wanting to watch and follow and track anything NFL-related, particularly the two pools I'm in and the two fantasy teams I manage. But I think this is a brilliant project, so I'm going to give it a real shot: 3 hours. I'm going to tough but fair and honest with myself: 3 real hours, but ones where I think I can "handle" being disconnected: 10-11am; 12-1pm; and 6:45-7:45pm. For those who understand, that's a morning hour but before the injury reports and the like are finalized; the hour where my pool picks are locked, but before the games start; and the hour as the fast is finishing and then finishes.

The site says its quest is to get 1,000,000 hours of disconnection. Join me.

For those interested, here is other (equally professional and quite good) video from the site:

I Truly Hope No Part of This Story is True.

2011-09-15T18:41:00.001-04:00

from here

Over 30,000 British schoolchildren, some as young as three, have had their names registered on a government database and branded “racist” or “homophobic” for using playground insults, infractions that could impact their future careers.
The shocking figures were disclosed after civil liberties group the Manifesto Club made a Freedom of Information Act request which betrayed the fact that kids who used petty jibes are now being treated as thought criminals by education authorities.
34,000 incidents of “racism” in total were reported for the year 2009-2010, with nursery school toddlers as young as three being put on a state database for using the words “gay” and “lesbian”. One child who called another “broccoli head” was also reported to authorities. Other cases included a child who used the word “gaylord,” while another who told a teacher “this work is gay,” was also added to the thought crime database.
The majority of the reported cases involved primary school children.
“The record can be passed from primaries to secondaries or when a pupil moves between schools,” reports the Daily Mail.

“And if schools are asked for a pupil reference by a future employer or a university, the record could be used as the basis for it, meaning the pettiest of incidents has the potential to blight a child for life.”
Schools are being pressured to report such incidents to authorities and face punishments for not doing so under anti-bullying policies.
This is a clear example of how hate crime laws have brazenly been hijacked by the state to get children institutionalized on criminal databases at an early age. This is about the state dictating what your child can think and say – it’s the thought police on steroids.
Orwell talked about the state reducing language via Newspeak in his book 1984. By eliminating the very words that come out of children’s mouths and punishing them for thinking certain thoughts, all critical thinking is ultimately abolished, and Big Brother assumes the supreme power to dictate reality – a dictatorship over our very minds.

How Time Warner Lost A Customer

2011-09-08T12:28:00.000-04:00

Sorry for the lack of posting, it's been a busy few weeks, including a nice trip to Baltimore and Cleveland.

About a year ago, we moved into our current residence. Prior to moving, Time Warner Cable was offering a nice Triple Play Package - for $99/month, we would get phone, cable internet, and cable, including HDTV reception in two rooms, and we wouldn't be tied to a contract. Great, we signed up.

The disasters started immediately. First, they didn't show up on installation day. When we called them about it, they apologized but said they tried to call our home phone to reschedule. Except, we didn't have a home phone yet, because that's what they were coming to set up! Brilliant. They reschedule for about 2 weeks (!) later. If I'm remembering right, nobody shows again, we call and complain again, they want to reschedule for a week later, then someone shows up and does a nice job installing everything. A week later they call to make sure we're home for the installation, and when we tell them someone came the week before, they seem surprised. Odd. After numerous calls and complaints, we are given free cable channels we don't want and free DVR for 1 year which we didn't need, but isn't horrible. Woo.

A few months later we realize we're getting charged for an HDTV box. We never ended up buying a second TV nor can we hook up the laptop to the cable (need an IR thingy which I can't seem to find), so the second HD box is just sitting in our living room unused. We ask them about it, and they insist that only one HD box is free... except we were told differently. I have them remove the charges and tell them they're welcome to come collect the HD box, which has never been used. They agree to this, and that's that... until the guy comes to get the box. He calls well out of the time that I said worked, when I was not home, so I suggested calling back a couple hours later. He said fine. He never showed. I forgot about it (I don't use the box, it's out of the way), until I saw I kept getting charges. I called and complained again. The service reps insisted they could only remove 3 months of wrongful charges, which was ridiculous. Finally someone collected the HD box, and I called back again to get the rest of the months back.

I should probably add that every call required approximately 1 hour of my time, between putting in my information 3-4 times on each call as I got shuttled from service to service, wait times, and actual conversation. It's atrocious. Recently we saw charges for the DVR service. They claimed we only were supposed to get 6 months free (false), despite the fact they had given 8 months already. I simply told them to look at the history. Once again, after much arguing, someone finally gave the charges back.

Through all that, and a couple outages, we kept the services... but then it all really went to hell. A few weeks ago, while videoconferencing for the first time simultaneously with a few people, the conference froze. I thought perhaps it had been too much for the computer. I checked everything - it was fine. I noticed nothing online was working, so I checked and restarted the router, the cable box, the computer... all to no avail. Then I noticed the phones were out, so I called (using my minutes) from my cell. A very nice lady checked to make sure there were no outages in our area, then did everything she could to help, all to no avail - all told, about an hour of time yet again. Meanwhile, I can't do anything other than use my cell. When we finished all that, she got notice of an outage in our area. Fair enough - I asked about compensation, she said that I should call for it after the outage is over (it lasted a number of hours or so in the end). No problem.

When I called for compensation, I asked for what I felt was a reasonable amount. The customer service rep claimed that they have fixed amounts in case of an outage, and offered me about $15 - an amount I thought was insulting. I asked for the manager, and was put through... and waited. And waited. And waited some more, for over 40 minutes. At that point I received the biggest jerk ever to work in customer service.

Mr. Manager was rude from the get go. When I noted that I'd been on the phone almost an hour, he said nothing, just ignored it and kept talking. I stopped him to note that he should at least apologize for my wait, and he grumbled something or other. When I explained the situation, he said the customer service rep had made an error: He should have offered three dollars and fourteen cents. Incredulous, I said that's insane, and again asked for a more reasonable amount. He insisted that $3.14 was the appropriate rate. We argued for half an hour, with him being incredibly rude the entire time. I asked for his manager - he insisted he was in charge and had no manager, and that he was the top ranking person at night. After 20 minutes more of this, including my demanding a transcript of the call and his insisting that he couldn't put me to his boss' voicemail and that in fact nobody has voicemail or email there, I asked for a call back from his boss, which he said he could do. I asked why he hadn't offered - he didn't reply. He put in for me to get a call back and a transcript.

I never got either.

When I called again, the customer service rep and her boss were both properly appalled and took down my info. They gave me back $25, the max they said they are allowed, and suggested calling the customer retention department when I noted that other services were offering very nice deals.

I then went online to ask for the customer retention department number. The chat agent immediately gave me the number - great. I called the number, and it started ringing. And ringing. And ringing. And ringing. I started a new chat, and the new agent gave me all the canned responses "I understand your frustration", etc. He took a few minutes, but gave me a new number... the regular customer service line. No thanks, I said - if I wanted to waste another hour of my time going through four levels of people to get to customer retention I'd have done so, but oddly, I'm not in the mood. I suggested that if TWC wants to retain a customer, they can call me. He said they can't set up a call from the chat service as I wished him a good day.

Oh well. Bye-bye, Time Warner.

I get by with a little help from my friends

2011-08-24T12:10:00.001-04:00

Hi everyone,
I'm looking for a room in a kosher/shomer Shabbat female apartment on the Upper West Side for September 1st.
If you have any leads please leave them in the comments.
I really appreciate your help!
(I have been checking bangitout.com several times a day.)

Countdown to Condemnation Against Israel from the World (and our friends on the Left) has begun.

2011-08-21T00:44:00.001-04:00

Nice Guys... Nearing First?

2011-08-18T20:15:00.000-04:00

While the adage goes "nice guys finish last", the Cleveland Indians are nearing first place in the AL Central. But a nice bonus as an Indians fan is that they are truly nice guys. In a really incredible story, utility infielder Jack Hannahan found out that his wife was going into a very premature labor - beginning of the third trimester. The Indians were playing in Boston at the time, and there were no night flights out of Logan Airport in Boston to Cleveland. The best the Indians' traveling secretary could find was a 6am flight which would definitely be too late, but at least he would be there soon after the birth. They looked into charter jets, but a charter jet would run $35,000 - no small sum even for a major league baseball player, especially a journeyman free agent to be who is 31 years old as Hannahan is.

That's where the rest of the Indians, led by stud Justin Masterson, stepped in:

But then Masterson came over and asked what was happening. He had a thought, and wasn't taking no for an answer.
Walters recounted the conversation:
"Book it," Masterson told Hannahan.
"I can't. It costs too much," Hannahan replied.
"Book it!" Masterson said.
Then Masterson passed a hat around the clubhouse. Teammates immediately contributed $35,000.
Hannahan took the private plane, arrived in Cleveland about 3 a.m. and reconnected with his wife just 15 minutes before John Joseph Hannahan V was born. Though he weighed just 2 pounds, 11 ounces at birth and hasn't come home from the NICU yet, baby reportedly is doing fine. As are mom and dad.

Read the whole story on Yahoo (via WFNY), and read and watch Hannahan talk about it on MLB (and see the other video on the page where the Tribe announcers tell over some more information as well). Such a classy story and team.

Go Tribe!

Reshaping By Ones

2011-08-17T01:35:00.000-04:00

Lifehacker recently linked to an interesting piece in Psychology Today which essentially discusses how people are wired to care more about individuals than groups, or as they put it, "Why Millions Can Die and We Won't Care." It's all rather interesting if somewhat unsurprising, but the examples they gave made me wonder why more charities (particularly tzedakos and/or schools) don't utilize this information to their advantage:

In [a] study people were paid to participate in an unrelated psychological quiz, and on the way out they were given the opportunity to donate up to $5.00 of their earnings to Save The Children. They were given three options:
They could donate to help Rokia, a 7 year-old Malian girl. The subjects were shown a picture of Rokia. They were willing to give $2.25.

They could donate to help the hundreds of thousands of children in eastern Africa who were starving. They were willing to give only $1.15.

The third option was to help Rokia specifically, but along with this request subjects were also given the statistics about the other starving east African kids. The same people who were willing to give $2.25 when it was just for Rokia, were only willing to give $1.40 when the request to help Rokia included information about the larger statistics!

Fascinating, right? Moreover:

Other studies showed similar results. For example, people would donate $11 to save one child but only $5 to save eight. The same goes for single events—like a tsunami—versus an ongoing event—like starving children.

One of the first thoughts that came to mind was the approach some schools have, where they basically require parents to either give or fundraise on behalf of the school ("give or get"). This is (perhaps accidentally) rather smart and effective: Firstly, it splits the burden up among hundreds of people, with a much greater net reach. But more specifically, the givers will identify their charity with the child of those parents who are asking for the funds, and this may make them more willing to give more money.

But more importantly, individual stories are always stronger. When schools focus on one individual story and why they need support to help that child's dream, it has a stronger impact on donors. Recently I found that even bringing the numbers down from an overall support to a specific support was incredibly effective. I am on the Alumni Board at Lander College, and we did a scholarship drive during the summer to help financially strapped students for this coming school year. Just upon hearing the individualized impact the prior year's small donations had been able to have made encouraged everyone on the Board to donate more themselves, and it was a really strong pitch to other alumni. As soon as I (and others) would mention how a dozen or so students had been able to more easily afford their tuition, people would suddenly be far more interested in offering their support. It seems clear that being able to directly associate giving with a recipient, and therefore feeling that one has made a (more) significant impact, helps encourage greater levels of charity.

It would seem a reasonable idea for Jewish schools (and charities) to attempt such pitches, whether focusing on individual children who need financial assistance, or by idealizing the education of a class through the persona of a single student, and how giving support will help that child succeed. It will not solve the current crisis, but perhaps it can lessen its impact just a bit.

Netanyahu's Speech - Translated by sub-par Ulpan Student

2011-08-15T23:07:00.000-04:00

You have to know some basic Hebrew for this. It is utterly brilliant.

The byline on the video says: For more info about Hahafuch group: http://www.facebook.com/hahafuch And remember, if you don't think Israel is funny then you haven't seen our show.

Written by Aaron Friedman
www.aaronfriedmancomedy.com

Google Celebrates Tu B'Av

2011-08-15T15:24:00.002-04:00

Hat tip: Binny

http://www.google.co.il/

Very cool.

Downgrade

2011-08-08T15:13:00.000-04:00

Obama: "And the markets agree with me."
Markets: Dow Below 11,000; Nasdaq, S&P Lose 5% After Obama Addresses Downgrade (Yahoo)

Whoops!

Hasn't the time come for President Obama to stop thinking that people will believe something just because he says it on camera? That worked as a candidate - not as President. It is doubtful that even most Republicans and conservatives expected him to end up Jimmy Carter-esque in quality, but right now it's looking that that will be the company he keeps as far as Presidents go. That's rather sad for someone who - regardless of one's feelings about him - came in as someone with incredible oratory skills, polish, and who showed quickly that his views on defense could shift as his understanding of it grew with the office. Liberals certainly expected better of him (in different ways), but nobody of any stripe expected a Presidency this poor.

(It is perhaps just as sad that there is no current Republican candidate that one can point to and say "That would be a huge upgrade!")

Hush Author Unveils

2011-08-02T13:31:00.000-04:00

In a rather brave and well-written piece on the Huffington Post, Hush author "Eishes Chayil" has revealed her identity as Judy Brown. (Interestingly, someone outed her on Frum Satire months back though it seems to have been the only prior mention.)

In her piece:

I accidentally learned what the words molestation and rape meant at age 23, after telling a therapist I met about something I had witnessed happening to a friend when we were children. Suddenly I realized I had been talking to strangers all my life. After I started meeting with victims and speaking with therapists, I began to encounter the community's wall of denial. These are things Jews don't do, I was told. It was easy to say it was all a lie or just faulty memories of childhood.

When I first tried to write about abuse in our community, to use the words needed to describe what was happening to so many children, I was firmly told not to.

Some subjects are better left in silence, the rabbis said. Orthodox Jews did not need such words. Those were words for gentiles. We had built walls and had built them high; the outside world could never enter. But as the walls grew higher and wider, we forgot look inside, to see that the most dangerous enemy always grows from within.

The abusers, trusted men wearing traditional garb, had not killed their victims, after all. But they did not need to. Some victims, driven to despair by years of enforced silence and secret shame, killed themselves.

"What will it take for them to listen?" one young man, a victim of horrific abuse, once asked me. "What will it take for them to finally realize what they're doing to their own children?"

It took something unspeakable, something none of us even knew could happen: a murder so brutal, so uncomprehending, we still wake up each morning wondering that life dares go on. What do we teach our children now? How had our walls failed to protect us?

But things haven't come to this. They have always been like this because of that misplaced blind trust. Perhaps now it is time to see it, to crack wide open the secret box of words and give them to our children as weapons, as a promise that they will always know what is happening to them, and be able to describe it so they can ask for help. A world without words is not a safe and warm place; it is a dangerous one, where children become mute victims of torture.

Six months after my book, "Hush," came out, my publisher and I began receiving threats in the mail intended to intimidate us for daring to expose these unspeakable truths about my beloved community. The message was clear: I had violated the rule that said victims must protect the community from their own crimes. Now, I would pay.

For too long we have tiptoed around our flaws with fear and caution, pushing them into the shadows in hopes they will disappear. For too long, victims have been made to be the villains, and abuse was called loshon harah, evil talk. For too long, we have refused to honestly discuss the horrific possibilities, and in doing so allowed our children to fall victim to them. And for too long, I have allowed my own fear to make me part of a wall of silence -- guilty for what I had seen, guilty for what I had written.

I refuse to continue to allow that fear to force me into hiding over a book that should have been written long ago. I no longer want to be known only as Eishes Chayil when my name is Judy Brown. I must find the courage to stand with the victims who carry the burden of our silence for the rest of their lives.

I originally wrote my book under a pseudonym to protect my family and friends from community retribution, but so far we have only hurt ourselves. Maybe now, because of Leiby's tragedy, things will change. Maybe now, we will finally teach our children what we should have taught them years ago: morality has no garb.

Children have always gotten hurt in our world -- sometimes quickly, walking home from school, sometimes slowly, piece by piece, over years of abuse and terror. Perhaps we live in a world that is black and white, perhaps we want to keep it that way, but we must at least know that there is still a whole lot of gray in it, strangers live among friends and that such words, after all, are very complicated to define.

Heroes

2011-07-31T22:42:00.000-04:00

Two videos worth watching (via IsraellyCool and Deadspin)

The trailer for Pro Bowl WR Brandon Marshall's movie about borderline personality disorder (BPD), which Marshall discovered he had and now is using his experiences to educate the public about.

After three months of treatment and therapy, psychological and neurological exams at Boston's McLean Hospital, the training ground for Harvard University medical students, Miami Dolphins receiver Brandon Marshall believes he's finally at the root of his struggles.
During the summer of 2011, following a domestic dispute that led to his wife's arrest [she allegedly stabbed him], he been diagnosed with borderline personality disorder, or BPD.

Short documentary on Israeli lone soldier Michael Levin, one of three soldiers killed on August 1, 2006 in clashes with Hizbullah in the southern Lebanese village of Aita al-Shaab. It is quite moving, and worth the time to watch.

Plagiarism in the (Frum) Press

2011-07-28T16:23:00.009-04:00

UPDATED:

Please see updates at the bottom.

**the following post was not written by Stam. It was written by a blogger who wishes to remain anonymous and who does not have posting privileges on SerandEz :)**

My first taste of Internet plagiarism came in a bittersweet form.

It started out in my email inbox, with the subject line "FWD: fwd: fwd: FWD: fwd: very funny!! MUST READ!!!!!" Needless to say, I was hardly intrigued. I started to read, and the words looked very familiar.

As you may have guessed, I'd written the email. Not as an email, but as a post on my blog. My first thought was "cool, people like my blog posts enough to send them around as email forwards." But as my eyes scanned the email for the credit for this "must read, very funny" email, I was exceedingly disappointed. No name, no link, nothing.

You know those famous emails that are credit "author unknown?" Well now I know how they start.

My second taste also came in the form of an email, but this one was a link to a "frum" forum, where some poster was reaping compliments off of a post...copied directly from my blog. This time it hurt a little more than it felt nice. Someone was gaining off of my writing (even something as minor as a compliment), and it wasn't me. How is that fair?

When asked by my friend if I was going to complain, my response was simple. "It doesn't pay. It's not as if they are making money off of me or my writing."

But what if they were? What if a magazine published my writing, but sent a check to somebody else?

Sounds crazy? I thought so too.

Then I opened up the Ami Magazine. I love to cook and bake, so naturally, I turned straight to the recipes section. One of the recipes really popped out, and not because of it's mouthwatering picture, or the delicious sounding idea. No, this one stuck out because it made me feel a strong sense of deja vu.

"I've seen this before," I thought to myself, quickly opening my favorite baking blog. And I wasn't wrong. I had seen it before, almost word for word the same. The name was almost the same, as was the picture. I looked at the page of the magazine, then again. No credit, no "reprinted with permission." Just the misleading impression that the columnist had come up with this recipe on her own.

Doesn't this seem wrong? How can a Frum magazine lift a recipe directly off a website and expect no repercussions? "Be dan lekaf zechus," my friends warned. So I was. I assumed that Ami wasn't aware that they had printed a stolen recipe. So I sought out the editor on twitter, and received the following (mocking) responses:

"There's nothing new under the sun." And "don't go nuts."

If I were an honest magazine editor who had just discovered I published a stolen recipe, I would be the one going nuts.

Here's the link to the original recipe and the page in Ami:

If you think this is wrong, please let the Ami know.
Call them at 718.534.8800
Email info@amimagazine.org or the editor-in-chief directly: rechy@amimagazine.org
Or tweet the editor @victoriadwek.
Or let them know how you feel on Facebook.
If you're a blogger, please spread the word.
Together, we can teach the Frum publishing world that plagiarism isn't going to be tolerated.

**this post was not written by Stam. It was written by a blogger who wishes to remain anonymous and who does not have posting privileges on SerandEz :)**

UPDATE 1 (by Ezzie):

The chief editor of Ami responded immediately to an e-mail asking about the incident:

I will check this out [...] and get back to you. One thing I can tell you now. Ami magazine does not want to plagiarize. And if that happened we will make amends

They told another e-mailer (via the comments section here) as well:

This was brought to my attention yesterday.
As I told the writer of that e-mail, Ami certainly does not want to plagiarize.

I will get back to you as soon as I get in touch with the person who wrote the recipe for us and understand what is going on here.
Thanks

So far, the response has been quick and appropriate; we'll see what reply is given later.

UPDATE 2 (by Ezzie):

After no further response, I e-mailed the chief editor again. I have yet to receive a reply (it has been a number of hours).

On Friday I was told that the writer was upset and felt she was misunderstood and wanted me to e-mail her. I noted that she could e-mail me herself directly if she wished, but have yet to receive an e-mail from her.

**this post was not written by Stam. It was written by a blogger who wishes to remain anonymous and who does not have posting privileges on SerandEz :)**

Happy Birthday Ezzie

2011-07-26T17:24:00.002-04:00

Today is Ezzie's birthday. Festivus is still some time away. So why not combine them both?

So in honor of both days, we will celebrate with the official "airing of grievances" against Ezzie.

Agudah Clarification on Reporting Abuse

2011-07-22T18:52:00.000-04:00

The Agudah has put out a statement clarifying its position on reporting abuse to the authorities. Read it in full please.

Personally, it is extremely non-compelling and somewhat distressing. The Agudah is saying that one should report abuse if they are reasonably sure, but not in a case of mere suspicion, and instead talk it over with someone. However, because people are not experts in what would qualify as knowledge/assurance vs. what would qualify as a mere suspicion, they should first discuss that with a Rabbi knowledgeable in the matter.

That essentially boils down to saying that a person should talk it over with a Rav regardless of what they think, to make sure that they are making the right call in reporting to the authorities. That seems to be a huge error, as this again means it is solely up to the Rav involved to determine if the authorities should be contacted, which was exactly the problem previously. This comes off more as a protective clarification where the Agudah is saying "of course abuse must be reported", but in practice it will come down to the personal discretion of the Rabbonim who are asked.

It is also disingenuous for the Agudah to claim that telling all people to report to the authorities is 'further than the law', which only requires mandated reporters; the law certainly feels everyone should report abuse as well, but adds an additional level to mandated reporters that by law they are required to do so or they can face punishment for failing to.

On Shifting Views - Media Bias and Gay Marriage

2011-07-22T01:08:00.000-04:00

(via CC) A study by a UCLA professor finds that journalists and the media are so biased that we perceive centrists as conservatives, and liberals as centrists:

Fox News is clearly more conservative than ABC, CBS, CNN, NBC and National Public Radio. Some will conclude that 'therefore, this means that Fox News has a conservative bias. Instead, maybe it is centrist, and possibly even left-leaning, while all the others are far left. It's like concluding that six-three is short just because it is short compared to professional basketball players.

The simple reason:

Groseclose opens his book quoting a well-known poll in which Washington correspondents declared that they vote Democratic 93 percent to 7 percent, while the nation is split about 50-50. As a result, he says, most reporters write with a liberal filter.

Helen Thomas is the perfect example of this. While a White House reporter, she was considered a great journalist... but now is exposed as not just having liberal opinions, but as being a far-left nutcase. How is it possible that someone with such extreme opinions was able to co-exist - and be heralded as great - in a supposedly neutral environment as the journalistic field, when people who express commentary that even agrees with mild right-leaning initiatives are blasted as being biased? It is when the journalistic center is skewed so far to the left, that extreme liberalism is viewed as mildly liberal while mild conservatism is viewed as extreme.

This is true beyond media, however. Whenever we shift conversations in a specific way, it redefines the center viewpoint, making one side or the other seem extreme. For example, even proponents of gay marriage who are liberal but not gay claimed that it would never impact or be forced upon religious people in any way; that it was the religious who were unfairly imposing their morality on homosexual couples. And yet, as gay marriage has become fait accompli, proprietors are being sued for being unwilling to cater to homosexual couples' wishes, such as hosting or catering or photographing their wedding. Proponents of the separation of church and state (not in the Constitution) felt that religious values should have no weight in determining what people can and cannot do. But one of the protections afforded by the Constitution was freedom of religion, which was supposed to mean that people would not be forced to perform acts that are against their beliefs. By suing proprietors for standing up for their beliefs, gay couples, through the Courts, are essentially reversing the Constitution by forcing people to perform services that they feel go against their religious beliefs. Moreover, in discussions on the subject, people who formerly claimed it does not have anything to do with religious people and that "gay marriage doesn't hurt anyone", now have shifted their views even further, noting that to not service gays should be discrimination like any other, such as racism or sexism.

That all said, not all bias is extreme, nor does it shift completely to one end of the spectrum. In the rather extensive Wiki on media bias, it notes that Groseclose and his colleagues found that despite the heavy bias in media in the USA, all major news sources remained within the overall center - from the New York Times at the left edge of it to Fox News in the very middle, all were within the range of moderate Democrats and Republicans in Congress. If news organizations were people, Fox would be somewhere between Joe Lieberman and John McCain, while the NY Times would be somewhere around Bill Clinton - which, upon a little thought, would likely make sense to most people.

Fantasy Seasons!

2011-07-20T20:31:00.000-04:00

WARNING: For most of you, this post will be boring. You've been warned.

With the NFL seemingly on its way to ending its lockout, the guy who runs our fantasy football leagues with me g-chatted me about starting to contact people to make sure they're coming back. I e-mailed a couple guys, and their replies were fantastic:

Hells to the yeah I am!!! and
Ill paypal you the $$ the second that CBA is signed

Nice. That's how it should be.

Meanwhile, while our friend Rea has been struggling, I've started to come back from deep in last place in fantasy baseball [standard 5x5 roto], now sitting in 7th of 12. I've locked up most of my innings (we have a 1250 IP max, and I'm at 852), and spun a number of trades, while all my players are finally (!) back from their injuries. I'm planning on (and should be able to) pull off one or two more trades before riding what I have to the end. It's a really close league, with pretty much anyone in the top 9 still alive, though the top six teams have the edge for now. After trading Lincecum for Price and Pineda, then trading them for two closers, this is who I've got left:

C Avila
1B Huff (been horrible, will probably be used only as a sub once I make a trade)
2B Utley
SS A.Cabrera
3B Walker
CI Kotchman (FA pickup to replace injured Headley, will drop once I make a trade)
OF V.Wells
OF Hart
OF Brantley
OF Joyce - will likely trade before deadline
Util OF R.Davis - big interest from people in trades, but his SBs are too valuable to trade
Util Hafner
Bench - OF Torres - will possibly trade before deadline, OF Jay - will likely trade before deadline
SP Halladay - will likely trade before deadline
SP Kershaw
SP Jimenez
SP Masterson - received in late May for SS Bartlett and 1B B.Wallace. Quite the steal...
SP Tomlin - picked up as a FA
CL Bell
CL Wilson
CL Papelbon - received in Pineda/Price trade yesterday
CL Hanrahan - received in Pineda/Price trade yesterday, will likely trade before deadline
RP Venters - will possibly trade before deadline

Currently, I've got by far the best K rate in the league (only one guy is even within reach), which allows me to pitch Masterson and Tomlin. My W rate is decent and improving. I'm a couple saves away from an 11, which the new closers should give me, and I expect to finish with 10s in ERA/WHIP (a couple guys have been sick). On the hitting side, I used to be so far behind it was laughable, but now I'm just 8 SBs from the lead, I've passed a couple people in RBIs and AVG, and I'm about a dozen HRs from a 6 while I'm about to catch people in Rs. Assuming I can flip Halladay and a package of others including Joyce and Hanrahan for a couple of power CIs, I should be able to make a nice run at first. It'll be interesting to see if it works, if only because I had to take an extreme pitching-only approach after being P heavy to begin with, then having injuries kill me - I had seven guys on the DL at one point.

The one move I may end up having blown the season on was trading Alex Gordon for Jonny Venters when Gordon was slowing down and Venters was rumored to be taking the closer's role. Ugh.

But hey, even if I can't crawl all the way back, at least there's football!

Honesty and the Jewish Community VIII: Quotable Interjection

2011-07-20T02:48:00.000-04:00

(continued as part of this series)

"Anonymous" recently made the following comment on a post:

IMO as long as he is supporting frum families it makes no difference if it is stolen money.

It doesn't appear that there is a logical reply to someone who thinks in such a twisted fashion and truly believes this, but it brought to mind the following observation of a Gemara made recently by R' Yitzchak Adlerstein at Cross-Currents:

The latter version tells us that serious sin is no bar to emunah. Chonyo could try to kill his brother for his aggrandizement, but this would not get in the way of his seeing himself as remaining within the basic faith. People rationalize all sorts of things, including the worst transgressions.

The former version, however, shows us that an upstanding member of the community whose safety is jeopardized by someone close and trusted, and who is then let down by a community that does not protect him, will easily run headlong out of the fold, and take up the embrace of an alien ideology. He has had enough of the one he used to be comfortable in. If he can be treated so savagely by people he trusts, and if the community at large is powerless to save him, he will walk out.

In light of what numerous friends of ours (and we) have gone through the past years, it seemed an apropos pair of thoughts - particularly when combined.

There appears to be a general feeling among a thankfully small but unfortunately not insignificant portion of the Orthodox community which feels that various indiscretions and transgressions, no matter the size or impact, somehow do not take away from one's faith (or even enhance, as seen above). Worse in a fashion, however, is the shrugging of shoulders and sometimes outright support to the transgressors, even at the expense of those upstanding members of the community whose safety were jeopardized by these formerly close and trusted individuals.

Some of the primary thrusts of this series are to demonstrate just how dangerous this attitude is for those people who are jeopardized and how important it is that as a community we stamp out not only corruption, but support for corrupt individuals. It was unexpected to find that there are some who do not grasp the basic concepts of right and wrong, but as it is futile to convince those who are capable of rationalizing anything, this series will not attempt to do so. Those who believe evil is justified will continue to justify such acts to themselves and one another, and the only way to deal with such people is to isolate and expose them - at least, the ones who aren't placed in prison first.

It's Time

2011-07-19T01:10:00.000-04:00

A couple of weeks ago, I was listening to a friend discuss some difficulties they were going through with someone they knew well. As we discussed the various issues, it dawned on me that so much of what I was saying could easily be extrapolated to my own situation as well. Yes, there were obvious differences, but at the same time, there were some eerie similarities. I've always found it interesting and obvious at the same time how it's so much easier to help 'solve' someone else's problem than solve your own, even if they are exactly the same.

Similarly, something my cousin wrote recently about therapy struck home as well. (And perhaps it was ironic that he was here to raise funding to start a yeshiva that would be all about working on one's self...) Sure, we all know everything comes back to what we decide to do, but at the end of the day, we wait for so much else to happen first that is completely not dependent on ourselves... and that's the error. Today, the friend followed up and noted that they had successfully ended their difficult relationship. In the context of the conversation, they expressed how it was freeing to not be leaning on someone anymore. While noting that there are times where it's okay and appropriate to lean on someone, I had to agree wholeheartedly - it's so important to be able to be self-reliant in most aspects of life.

Of course, that doesn't necessarily make it easy.

BDE, Helen Stone

2011-07-18T21:52:00.000-04:00

Helen Stone of Cleveland (my grandmother's sister and widow of Irving I. Stone - he of American Greetings, Stone Chumash/Tanach, and the Hebrew Academy of Cleveland fame) passed away today.

Baruch Dayan Emes.

Don P. Design House

2011-07-17T20:27:00.000-04:00

It's always great to see friends working really hard at something they're good at, especially as they start overcoming the various hurdles associated with it. One friend who has likely been mentioned previously on this blog has always been a great dresser and designer, ironically married someone who does the same, and now has started manufacturing and selling his own custom shirts for little boys - and other friends have been buying and loving them. Feel free to support him, he's just a great guy - and your sons will look great.

About Mental Illness

2011-07-14T20:39:00.000-04:00

After the horrific events of the past days, a friend who works in the psych fields e-mailed me, asking that this blog discuss not only the very important aspects of talking to one's children and communicating with them about the various dangers and how to approach them, but also the fear and stigma the community sometimes has toward discussing issues such as sexual abuse and mental illness, and people who do not get help due to that stigma.

This friend also attended the funeral and noted that "...words cannot describe the experience adequately; the hespedim (that I heard) were in Yiddish, which I do not speak. There was no need to understand the syntax; the emotion felt pierced through and spoke what words could not." [sic]

The friend also emphasized the importance of reading the following letter which appears in full on The Yeshiva World, by the Director of the Center for Applied Psychology (CAPs) at Bikur Cholim (Rockland County), Yitzchak Schechter, Psy.D. I'm quoting an excerpt below, please read it in full:

A simple example to all of what we mentioned comes in this incident itself. Most school age children of the community, whether they be in cheder, day camps, mesivta, sleep away camps or at home will likely hear of this painful and horrific story (or may have heard of other difficult and harrowing stories of the recent past), that is the nature of childhood - stories circulate quickly and usually with great elaboration - without our control. To ignore the story, therefore, is likely foolhardy and to do so allows children to develop their own narrative, perhaps fears, wrong beliefs, etc. about the story and make the traumatic story even worse. Therefore, in a proactive step parents should, at the appropriate level of the child, mention, without anxiety, drama or stress, the sadness that there was a boy who died and if they have any further questions they can discuss it with you the parents. In addition, the moment can, if appropriate, be used to reinforce the very simple concept of safety and privacy (i.e. “no one should touch you in your private parts or make you feel uncomfortable, if they do immediately tell a trusted adult or your parents”). While in this situation it seems to have been a stranger- and of course one should never get into a car or walk with a stranger, the large majority of incidents of abuse occur with people known to the child and familiarity is not protective (and the child must be specifically told “no matter who it is”).
By not allowing secrets, developing open communication and dealing outright with our challenges- as a community, as parents, families and individuals we will create a better environment for our personal and spiritual growth.

Lesson Finally Learned?

2011-07-14T14:03:00.001-04:00

I just read this piece by R' Yitzchak Adlerstein and actually clapped upon reading it. After the horrible news yesterday about Leiby Kletzky, the little boy who was picked up and horribly murdered and dismembered by confessed murderer Levi Aron, I noted and questioned to a few friends that it would be interesting to find out if anyone knew if this Levi Aron was a molester or pedophile, and someone covered it up as has been done all too often in the past. However, without proof, I was reluctant to even mention it, until reading R' Adlerstein quote an unnamed respected rav:

I am sure he was, and I am sure he molested many others, and I am sure that there were people that knew and hushed it.

Whether this was the case here or not, there are certainly people like Levi Aron who are free because people have done exactly that: Hushed up cases of abuse, molestation, and the like. This needs to end, once and for all.

As R' Adlerstein says:

It is time to forever bury the myth that reports of pedophilia can be managed and dealt with by committees of rabbonim, even for a short time. It is time to bury the myth that there is a serious halachic barrier to going to authorities to deal with credible reports of such behavior. Enough baalei halacha have told us that there is no barrier.

Choshen Mishpat 358:12 tells us that those who vex the public can be handed over. Any pedophile does at least that, and poses a danger of doing much more. Moreover, mesirah of a molester exposes him to a safek of danger; pedophiles pose a much greater danger level to many more victims.

It is natural and good that many people were not eager to rush to modes of address that themselves could be too sweeping and harsh, with terrible consequences to people and their families. They thought that various types of modus vivendi were possible. By now they should realize that this is not true. Rabbonim cannot handle the issue. We have enough evidence of this. Failure to take notice of this could have been said, figuratively, to be shefichas damim/ bloodshed.

Today, it is no longer figurative.

It is not a stain on our record that it took time to learn the facts about molestation. Reacting far too slowly is a terrible stain, though.

Leiby’s horrific petirah can save the lives of many others – those who could meet a similar fate, r”l, and those victims whose lives are a living death.

I may still be proven wrong, but the analysis will not change. Parents will be speaking about safety to their children. Whatever really happened to Leiby, the fact is that our kids are often in far greater [sic: danger] in school, shul and camp than from encounters with detested “others” while walking home.

The greatest aliyah for Leiby and nechamah for his family will come from all of us getting serious about molestation.

If your rov doesn’t get it, think of getting a new rov.

Speaking to Your Kids About Personal Safety

2011-07-08T00:09:00.002-04:00

R' Horowitz - full video.

Speaking To Your Kids About Personal Safety from Yakov Horowitz on Vimeo.

Switch Your Verizon Plan Now

2011-07-05T17:46:00.002-04:00

If you're on Verizon or are considering switching to Verizon, do it today or tomorrow at the latest. After tomorrow Verizon will no longer have unlimited data plans. If however you're in by tomorrow you will be grandfathered in and keep your unlimited plan at $30/month (versus the new pricing levels which will range from $30-80/month).

Google+... +++

2011-07-01T16:30:00.001-04:00

Ezzie: Tried posting this a couple nights ago, but didn't publish for some reason. Enjoy.

Jon nails why Google+ is off to a hot start, but to add to it - the accompanying xkcd is spot-on, plus there's the actual product: It's everything you want on Facebook, minus all the stuff you don't, with the ability to customize a bunch of stuff as you'd like to. The most important things to me are selective sharing, ability to restrict whether something I put up can be shared by others, and communication by group rather than all or nothing. So far it's pretty impressive.

On one hand, you'll never be able to convince your parents to switch. On the other hand, you'll never be able to convince your parents to switch!

Understanding the idea of "Niskatnu HaDoros"...

2011-06-28T18:20:00.004-04:00

,,, which roughly translates to "the diminishing of the generations". Ready?

I'm a Dad.
(poor kid)

Should I Steal?

2011-06-14T15:54:00.000-04:00

One of the best articles I've read in a long time, at The Atlantic. (Hat tip: Farbs)

Should I Steal From Macy's?

Excerpt:

Macy's is a large corporation. They are not particularly nice to me. They issue credit cards with high interest rates.

Many of the things I purchased at Macy's have not really made me better off. In fact, some have made me worse off. Once I bought a suit for $800 that I couldn't really afford, but the sales clerk at Macy's didn't even ask me to rethink before I paid. All she cared about was selling me that suit.

Macy's makes an allowance for theft (euphemistically known as "shrinkage" in the retail trade). It's factored into the price of the product. They knew when they let me into the store that there was a risk that I might try to steal something. As soon as they opened the doors, everyone knew what was going to happen: a bunch of stuff would get bought, and some stuff would be stolen. One could argue that every time I have bought something at retail, paying an extra percentage to cover losses from shrinkage, I have been paying for the right to steal at some point in the future.

Macy's doesn't even use written contracts for most transactions! If they had wanted to, they could have asked me to sign a contract agreeing not to steal. Since they didn't, why do I have an obligation not to steal?

EZ Reads 6/13/11: No Shortcuts

2011-06-13T18:01:00.000-04:00

I don't think non-Clevelanders always understand how exactly Clevelanders feel and felt about Lebron James. Two (really three, but the one in Deadspin's language is way too unnecessary) pieces really explain it perfectly:

On a related note, this video by the Greater Cleveland Partnership about Cleveland's rebirth and rebuilding process is impressive - not just for the video, but the amount of infrastructure ($6.8 billion!) being put into the city as it reinvents itself around its outstanding medical facilities.

Elsewhere:

James Taranto on the Monster Mohel cartoons which led to the circumcision ban's primary backer dropping it.
James Bovard discusses his summer working for government, which shows perfectly why government operations are so ineffective: There's simply no incentive to work properly.
Kol HaRav has R' Bigman's piece on Coercing a Divorce, about how the process ultimately gives power to uncooperative husbands. As we have seen a couple friends pay small fortunes to get their get, this one hit home.
On a related note, Kefirot questions, after watching a friend be forced to give up her own get rights to get hers, whether we have lost our belief in God that we allow so many people to act so horribly.

Rescue Needed

2011-06-13T00:48:00.002-04:00

For those of you old enough to remember Suri Feldman's disappearance and her subsequent rescue, I cannot help but notice the difference in response to Lauren Spierer's disappearance.

Her name is Golda bas Mazal, and everyone should please daven for her and help in any way that they possibly can, whether it be to daven a little for her, to donate, or volunteer services.

EZ Reads 6/12/11: Mazel Tov Edition

2011-06-12T18:49:00.000-04:00

Since it's been a while...

Happy 38th Anniversary to my parents this past Friday!
Mazel tov to OD and SIL on the birth of a girl over Shavuos!
Mazel tov to G on the birth of a baby boy recently! (English name suggestion below...)
Mazel tov to Moshe and family on their move to (gasp) Cleveland!
Happy 24th (!) birthday to the Apple!
Mazel tov to Pobody's Nerfect on a baby girl recently!
...and I'm sure there are more I'm forgetting, sorry!
Elsewhere, some good stuff - Blobby with a really nice story about Jews. That's how I was brought up, where that's how we were viewed. Awesome.
Avi Shafran proudly "informs" on other Jews, for a good cause.
Love is the Motive talks of a nice new app (waiting for it on Android) called PowerSefer, bringing a slew of seforim etc. to your iPhone or PC.
And really - did you think I'd forget? GO MAVS!! (Suggestion for G: Dirk. I don't care what name he's got, this is a potential add, right?)

The Talk

2011-06-06T15:59:00.001-04:00

R' Yanky Horowitz is giving The Talk in Baltimore, KGH, Monsey, and Brooklyn over the coming weeks. See info below and here.

EZ Reads 6/3/11

2011-06-03T14:23:00.000-04:00

Some thoughts going into Shabbos:

Someone did a study of the 5 largest regrets people have on their deathbeds. It's an interesting read, if somewhat obvious. Excerpt:
3. I wish I’d had the courage to express my feelings.
Many people suppressed their feelings in order to keep peace with others. As a result, they settled for a mediocre existence and never became who they were truly capable of becoming. Many developed illnesses relating to the bitterness and resentment they carried as a result.
We cannot control the reactions of others. However, although people may initially react when you change the way you are by speaking honestly, in the end it raises the relationship to a whole new and healthier level. Either that or it releases the unhealthy relationship from your life. Either way, you win.
Another interesting piece, if only to the extent to which it's true: What we expect is what we get, to the point that people who were told their jobs are good exercise would lose weight, while those who weren't told wouldn't. To me, this simply proves that mind truly is over matter to a large extent: You can control far more of your life if you simply decide to.
An interesting aside from Mark Suster's excellent entrepreneurial blog Both Sides of the Table, discussing Peter Thiel's offer to find 20 bright young entrepreneurs to pay them to drop out of college and pursue their own companies. (Why couldn't anyone do this 8 years ago?!) Excerpt y'all may appreciate if you know me:
I don’t give a s*** whether you were graduated from college or not. If you’re excellent at what you do (coding, sales, marketing, leadership) and you can demonstrate that, I really don’t care if you went to or dropped out of college. At least not as an entrepreneur. Others might care so you should take that into consideration. I personally don’t. And I can attest to this because one of my leading developers at both of my startups never finished college. It never affected him when it was time to check in his code and I’d hire him again in a second.
Need some extra motivation? How about an alarm clock which shreds your money?
Finally, a great marriage proposal using a graffiti mural, in time lapse.

The Best Comic (Ever?!)

2011-06-03T01:15:00.001-04:00

I'm not the "wow this is the best stuff ever!" kind of person, but I love this strip by xkcd. Make sure to mouseover the image to see the other text.

4,000 Years of Jerusalem in 5 Minutes

2011-05-31T14:07:00.002-04:00

Very well done, showing the history of Jerusalem using artwork, archeology, and written history.

Effective vs. Statutory

2011-05-31T12:23:00.000-04:00

(HT: Special Ed) Bruce Bartlett has an interesting piece on the NYTimes Economix blog today in which he attempts to show that for all the complaining from the right, tax rates today are lower than ever, because the effective rate is lower:

Historically, the term “tax rate” has meant the average or effective tax rate — that is, taxes as a share of income. The broadest measure of the tax rate is total federal revenues divided by the gross domestic product.

By this measure, federal taxes are at their lowest level in more than 60 years. The Congressional Budget Office estimated that federal taxes would consume just 14.8 percent of G.D.P. this year. The last year in which revenues were lower was 1950, according to the Office of Management and Budget.

The postwar annual average is about 18.5 percent of G.D.P. Revenues averaged 18.2 percent of G.D.P. during Ronald Reagan’s administration; the lowest percentage during that administration was 17.3 percent of G.D.P. in 1984.

In short, by the broadest measure of the tax rate, the current level is unusually low and has been for some time. Revenues were 14.9 percent of G.D.P. in both 2009 and 2010.

What Bartlett doesn't seem to realize is that he's given the precise reason why he's absolutely wrong. To oversimplify a bit, what we want is for the effective tax rate to be as maximized as possible. As our tax rates slide higher the greater one's income, the higher the effective rate means that the greater the percentage of taxes are being collected from those on the higher end of the scale. The argument he's making is precisely the argument Republicans have always made: When we lower the statutory tax rates, it stimulates the economy which translates into greater income for all, giving a higher tax base to be collecting from. (Bartlett doesn't address this point at all.) On top of that, the effective tax rate rises, meaning that there is a combination of people moving out of lower tax brackets and people in higher brackets having increasing incomes - all of which result in higher tax revenues and a higher effective tax rate.

The primary significance of a low effective tax rate is not that tax rates are too low, but rather that the economy is struggling mightily, suppressing incomes and lowering the amount of taxes they're able to pay.

EZ Reads 5/31/11

2011-05-31T01:36:00.000-04:00

A few of the couple hundred posts I've been meaning to link to... (sigh)

Da'as Torah with the links relating to the extremely important White Institute's Conference on Sexual Abuse in the Orthodox Jewish Community: Report; recordings; press coverage (London Jewish Chronicle). I heard from someone who was at (and I believe presented) at the conference that the conference was excellent and the speakers extremely moving.
G6 on Conformity vs. Individuality.
Harry on The Jewish Hammer, the Chicago Bears' first-round pick Gabe Corsi.
DA with some funny cartoons relating to Obama's statement about the 1967 borders.
(HT: Eliyahu Fink) Touched by a Landing, one passenger's retrospective on the ElAl flight which thankfully landed safely after trouble with its landing gear.
R' Gil - Teiku on Faith. The comments are interesting as well.
An awesome video (play in full screen) courtesy of Popular Science (via Meryl), if you like some beautiful night sky. Wow.
Great ad which shows what kind of physicality is required to drive in the 24-hour Le Mans race in Europe. "Breathe in or my lungs will be crushed" - pretty crazy. I've long found it interesting that race drivers are ridiculously athletic and assumed it played a role, but it's cool to see just how that's so.

Honeydew & Canteloupe

2011-05-29T13:11:00.001-04:00

At shalosh seudos last night, Elianna took a plate and made a pattern with her fruit: Honeydew, cantaloupe, honeydew, cantaloupe... all around the outside of her plate. She then proceeded to stick a pineapple in the center, explaining that it's her friends sitting around a bonfire.

A few minutes later, Serach asked her to eat the fruits on her plate, to which she answered with a distraught voice: "I can't, then I will have no friends left!!!"

Honesty and The Jewish Community VII: Sadness

2011-05-29T03:39:00.000-04:00

(continued as part of this series)

When I left off the story, I was driving into the Old City with my good friend Rivka T. and my almost 2 year old baby, Kayla, when I had just received the news that my boss had just been arrested.

After I got off the phone, I remember that I was literally shaking. To try to give it an analogy, and please excuse me if this comes off the wrong way, I think it's like the disconnect between getting sick, going to the doctor, being told there are some negative results, and that they need more testing, over and over again - and then being told finally that it's cancer. As much as you have a nagging feeling telling you this could be bad, until it's official, it just doesn't really click until the news hits.

Thank God, Rivka T. was a lifesaver that day. We parked, walked through the Old City, I stopped in for a very quick hello at my cousins who live there, went through the Cardo, and down the steps toward the Kotel - quite the feat with a stroller and a rambunctious, tired 2-year old. After going through security, which was quite difficult as well, we realized that Kayla had lost a shoe. Thankfully and surprisingly, I was able to run back and find it rather quickly; we checked the pictures we'd taken and realized it had to have happened in the last few minutes.

A few minutes later, Rivka T. offered to watch Kayla while I would go daven Mincha at the Kotel. As I finished Mincha, my phone rang. It struck me later that the people calling me, vendors we had used and owed a substantial amount of money, are not Jewish - and yet, despite no reason to have added care for us, despite being owed so much money - they always acted more properly than any individual, professional, or company we dealt with that entire year. They had just read about the arrest in the Wall Street Journal, and were afraid how it would impact us - and in turn, them. I asked them for patience, as I knew as much as they did at that point, and thankfully, they graciously gave me time. (Sadly, they were probably hurt more than anyone other than perhaps the employees once everything ended, never receiving what they were owed - and yet to this day, they have been the most kind, honest, gracious people.)

A little while later, we were walking out of the Old City, when I spotted a familiar figure walking toward us with a friend of his. I turned to Rivka and immediately pointed the person out, and said "What if he doesn't know? How do I tell him?!"

A minute later, we came closer. The person I'd pointed out had recognized me, and was smiling broadly, saying, "What's up!? What are you doing here?!" We'd been pretty friendly in the past, and I gave him a brief hug, then paused as he looked at my somber face while I asked if he'd heard anything that happened today. He gave me a questioning, worried look, then we stepped off to the side and sat on the ground at the edge of the stone-brick walkway.

After a second to gather myself, I told him simply:

"I'm so sorry... Your father was arrested this morning."

(to be continued)

Agudah Says Abuse Allegations Must Go To Rabbi First

2011-05-27T13:58:00.000-04:00

(Hat tip: Da'as Torah)

Honestly, the first question that comes to mind if this is illegal (after thinking "dumb, dumb, dumb!!") -

At the daylong “Halacha Conference for Professionals,” held in Brooklyn on May 15, speakers elaborated on a recent ruling by Rabbi Shalom Elyashiv, one of ultra-Orthodoxy’s foremost authorities on Jewish religious law, or Halacha. Elyashiv recently decreed that Jews with reasonable suspicions that a case of sexual abuse has occurred are permitted to go to secular law enforcement authorities, notwithstanding traditional religious prohibitions against mesirah, or informing on fellow Jews.

But at a panel discussion titled “Molestation Issues and Reporting: Current Halachic Thinking,” the panel’s leader, Rabbi Shlomo Gottesman, cautioned that Elyashiv never explained what constitutes “reasonable suspicion.” To establish this, Gottesman said, a person should consult a rabbi “who has experience in these issues” before going to secular authorities.

“If [the rabbi] thinks reasonable suspicion has been met, then you would be allowed to overcome mesirah and report,” said Gottesman, a board member of Torah Umesorah, the National Society for Hebrew Day Schools.

Rabbi David Zwiebel, Agudah’s executive vice president, told the conference that even mandated reporters — teachers, social workers and people in certain other professions who are required by law to promptly report any suspected cases of sexual abuse — should consult a rabbi before going to the police.

“If somebody just comes and makes a claim, that’s not a sufficient basis to invoke the tikkun olam [benefit to society] reason for overriding the general prohibition against mesirah,” Zwiebel elaborated in a telephone interview with the Forward. There must first be “some circumstantial evidence or something that would appear to bolster the claim.”

I'd be amazed if the Agudah doesn't get some legal flak over that second statement. Mandated reporters (which often includes Rabbonim, I believe) are mandated reporters, period.

In general, I do believe that people should have at least some circumstantial evidence before making a claim - it's all too common to have false accusations - but to always consult with a Rav first seems unwise, particularly in light of past history.

Bibi's Impact

2011-05-27T02:34:00.000-04:00

It seems just about everyone thinks Prime Minister Bibi Netanyahu was incredibly strong this past week in how he addressed and presented Israel's concerns and approach to the future of the Middle East, whether they agree in general or not. And, throughout the country and especially in Congress, most people really liked and appreciated the points he made as well, leading to the seemingly unending, loud standing ovations from the entire Congress, something most Presidents get once or twice in each of their State of the Union addresses - which is a depressing point, when one thinks about it.

There are however two particularly interesting points that seemed worth a bit more inspection:

What is so different between Bibi Netanyahu circa 1999 and Bibi Netanyahu circa 2011,
And why did what he say resonate so strongly with Americans?

Bennett Ruda at Daled Amos asked the first question today:

I wonder whether Netanyahu is any less passionate than he was during his first term as Prime Minister--I imagine not. But few remember Bibi's first term as Prime Minister all that fondly.
Let's not forget that Netanyahu's performance over the weekind was something of a surprise--a pleasant surprise, but a surprise nevertheless. There was concern, as there has been for many months, that Bibi would fold--that he would give in to US pressure. But he did not.

I believe (and Bennett agreed as well) that the difference is primarily expectations. In the nineties, Netanyahu ran on a platform which essentially stated that the peace process as formulated was devastating to Israel and would place the country in grave danger, by being the first country to capitulate to terrorist tactics - then went on to make some questionable concessions himself. All in all, people were disappointed as compared to what they had desired and expected.

This week, the expectations were much lower, and much more nerve-wracking. People weren't sure what Netanyahu may or may not concede to after a strong speech by President Obama. But instead (and perhaps the overstepping of the President in calling for a return to a 1967-based border before discussing Jerusalem, "right of return", et al allowed for this), he did the exact opposite. He firmed up his stance clearly and unequivocally, demonstrating exactly why those points were not demands, but necessities, and obvious to any rational observer or listener.

~~~

In today's Best of the Web, James Taranto quotes Walter Russell Mead, who believes that Netanyahu's speech "may have been the single most stunning and effective public rebuke to an American President a foreign leader has ever delivered." Perhaps more interestingly, Taranto discusses (and agrees with) Mead's assertion that

Being pro-Israel matters in American mass politics because the public mind believes at a deep level that to be pro-Israel is to be pro-America and pro-faith. Substantial numbers of voters believe that politicians who don't "get" Israel also don't "get" America and don't "get" God.

While this certainly has a strong ring of truth to it, it doesn't seem to be the primary reason Netanyahu resonated so well across the spectrum with his statements.What Netanyahu discussed, when he wasn't giving basic but important history lessons, were true elements relating to freedom. There are broad differences among American Jews, let alone Americans, in terms of what Israel should be doing and how to approach the Middle East's various issues. But above all, what Americans value is freedom, and I believe that it is that core value which is what spoke so strongly to Americans from Netanyahu's speech and other comments throughout the weekend.

There are two basic elements of freedom, democracy, and liberty: The freedom to make one's own choices in life; and the restrictions we place on ourselves so as not to infringe on other people's freedoms.* When the leader of a small but strong democracy notes that his people simply must have secure, defensible borders, Americans relate. We understand, perhaps now better than ever, that it is integral to feel safe in one's own country - whether at home, on a bus, at work, or on the way home from school. When he asks us to imagine a country just nine miles wide in the middle, it is not hard to relate to the difficulty of defending a country as wide as the average person's daily commute. When he states Israel will not accept approaches which do not protect their basic interests, and neither would America in the same situation, we accept that only Israel should determine its fate. And when he speaks his mind to say (thanks JoeSettler for the text)

Of the 300 million Arabs in the Middle East and North Africa, only Israel's Arab citizens enjoy real democratic rights. I want you to stop for a second and think about that. Of those 300 million Arabs, less than one half of 1% are truly free, and they're all citizens of Israel!

This startling fact reveals a basic truth: Israel is not what is wrong about the Middle East; Israel is what is right about the Middle East!

most people just get it.

For all of the issues, all of the concerns, Israel is doing what the United States has always done: Stand for freedom. As Netanyahu noted in an interview, the Korean War memorial says simply "Freedom is never Free." The United States has fought many wars, often even ones that barely involved them, for the cause of freedom. Israel has fought many wars, and is now trying to forge a lasting peace, to protect its people and their freedoms - with neighbors who themselves are not free. It is nearly impossible for any American, raised on the principles of freedom and liberty, to not feel a strong kinship with Israel.

Until a final resolution is reached, there will continue to be debate as to the best route to a lasting peace, should one exist. But most important for Israel, and Prime Minister Netanyahu, is that he was able to clearly transmit the principles which must guide such a peace - principles which cannot be denied, principles which are understood as fundamental concepts by the people of the United States of America: Security; self-determination; and above all, freedom.

* Ezzie: I believe I just saw someone say this, and I'm drawing a blank as to who and where. My sincere apologies.

Dear Roger

2011-05-26T09:47:00.001-04:00

An excellent, moving piece.

Scout.com: Dear Roger: I'm Your Canary

Gmail Saves Stolen Car

2011-05-25T14:59:00.000-04:00

Hat tip: Josh

Cool story at ZDNet, involving a good friend of a friend:

The gentleman in the picture is Avrohom Eliezer Friedman, a reader with whom I frequently correspond over on my ZDNet Education blog. He looks happy in this picture, but Tuesday morning, he was not happy. His car had been stolen and, as he said, “the car wasn’t worth much - but the plate is priceless.”
I’m inclined to agree. That’s commitment, right there.
Long story short, though, Gmail managed to save the day for Avrohom.
[I] spoke to the arresting officer - he said he saw the plate and decided to run it (I guess he wanted to see who the proud owner of a GMAIL plate was). Seeing it was stolen, he pulled the car over.
Not as good as “everyone was on the lookout for the GMAIL car. I am proud to be the officer who found it.” But it’s still good stuff.
Good stuff, indeed, Avrohom. Glad you got your license plate back (and, of course, your car).

Netanyahu's Comments Before Obama

2011-05-21T22:22:00.001-04:00

Perhaps the best comments by an Israeli Prime Minister to and in front of an American President in decades, Netanyahu makes it abundantly clear what Israel will and will not accept. Some people view this as a slap to Obama; I'm not so sure - I think that Obama sitting through this is interesting and impressive, and moreover gives him an "out" moving forward. (Contrast to Clinton's appropriate rant about Arafat to Arafat as he left office.) Israel now has said its piece (and said it well), while Obama can say he did his best to the Arabs while keeping his Jewish support ("The Prime Minister and I had a very good conversation", etc.).

Either way - I, and I'm sure countless others, are quite happy with Netanyahu.

Hat tip: Dave and others

If Only

2011-05-20T15:00:00.000-04:00

We all experience frustrations at various points in our lives with 'getting over the hump'. For some people it's with their jobs, where they always feel like they're about to make a big leap, but instead they end up taking a small step, or none at all. For some it's with their finances, where they are about to start really cutting down their debt, or put away extra toward that house or retirement or vacation... but then they can't, not yet... maybe next month, or after that next thing is taken care of. For others it's with their ideas, their actions, what they're going to accomplish... anything.

To some, life is a series of "on the brinks". Many of us have friends who are continually talking about what they're going to do - what they are about to accomplish, what big break is just around the corner, what they've learned that will help them turn that corner and keep going. At first, we are often impressed by these people: He's really going to be something one day, we think. Or wow, we wish we could be so driven and focused.

After a time, we start to get a better sense of these people. Some truly do accomplish. Some have always been full of garbage. Some we slowly realize are just talkers: They are always "on the brink", but they're never really doing anything to get over it, as much as they claim they are. And some are in the middle, perhaps a break or two from really turning that corner, perhaps not - genuinely honest, good, motivated people who for whatever reason haven't yet been able to get over that hump.

Sometimes, though, you realize that it's not your friend, your acquaintance, your old classmate or co-worker who is on the brink - it's you. As with other people, this is exciting at first: You see that light ahead of you and it's finally within grasp. Sometimes, you reach that light. Sometimes, you don't. And sometimes, every time you feel like you're getting close, you turn the corner and realize it's still a little further away then you thought, and that can be incredibly draining. You may start to feel that you're turning into that person who will never quite break through, who will always struggle on all these fronts while knowing all along you could succeed, if only...

If only.

It's hard not to be frustrated when life always seems just out of reach. You take a look at what's happened, and try not to get to caught up on the past (if only...) while learning its lessons. You look at yourself to see what you can change (if only I...) and you analyze your situation to see what could be changed (if only...) and you listen to everyone else's advice (if only you...). What's worse, after all that is completed, you often find that you're right back where you started: The path you're on is the best one for you, and hopefully something will break the right way (if only it would) and you'll be fine, or better than fine - amazing, even.

Throughout all of it, and continually forward, you have to approach all this with an upbeat attitude, lest the worries consume you, or the debt overwhelm you, or the lack of success depress you, or the negative disposition make your boss or interviewer not like you or your friends pity you.

The trap people in this situation can fall into - besides the above - is to start looking for a shortcut (if only!). Yes - be creative. Yes - think outside the box. Yes - come up with alternative solutions. But often, once all those options have been attempted, discarded, or deemed to be infeasible for now, the most important quality is going to be resiliency. Know that the best way out, the best way forward, is going to be just pushing forward, slowly and steadily. We always say, and never listen, that "life ain't easy". It's not - life is difficult, and there will be difficult times. There's no magical "get out of debt free" or "find a job" or "suddenly learn an entirely new set of skills in a new field" and especially no "someone has given you $1,000,000!" card in real life. We sometimes do have to put in the time, the effort... and the wait. We sometimes do have to be patient, be resilient. And sometimes, that will be frustrating, and difficult, and depressing... but that is life, and that is how it goes, and that is something that will (hopefully) help you later on when you have overcome that brink - or even if, perhaps especially if, you don't.

If only we could always remember that.

Obama's Middle East Speech: Nothing New

2011-05-19T12:56:00.001-04:00

Not that I'm faulting or complaining, but it's astounding how little new material is in today's speech by President Obama regarding Israel and the Palestinians.

In fact, that's all I have to say on it.

Thanks to the apple for the transcript.

...and, we're back!

2011-05-15T03:34:00.001-04:00

Random pieces:

I technically (b'ah) have still never broken a bone in my life, though I am now using crutches for the first time, I believe. I chipped a bone in my ankle playing basketball this week for the Lander Alumni team, right before the playoffs, of course... and possibly holding back the Lander Alumni Board from moving forward since I had to push back a meeting between myself and Touro's controller. Sigh.
In related news, Percocet is way overrated, and did not help me whatsoever. It did however make me sick tonight.
Not overrated: The HTC Thunderbolt or Verizon's 4G LTE network. I have a mini-computer in my hand, except it's more powerful than my desktop and faster than my cable internet, and with better apps. This thing literally saves me time (and often money) on a consistent basis.
Any app recommendations from Android users? In other news, Google owns my life.
The next two months will be rather crazy, with numerous friends, including some very close ones, moving. Some are moving rather close, while others are moving far... and others are moving far, far, far away. Usually change is more gradual unless you're the one moving. At the same time, many friends and family are having/have had babies, are getting engaged/married, and sadly a couple have seen their relationships/marriages hit a rough spot. Life, eh.
My fantasy team has been decimated by injuries, so I decided to switch things up to have a shot by taking advantage of our 1,250 innings limit. My starters are now: Lincecum, Halladay, Kershaw, Jimenez, and CJ Wilson while I have Bell, Wilson, Feliz, E.Sanchez, and (DL) Aardsma as my closers (and Gregerson for some good innings). Then again, my lineup now is C Avila, 1B LaPorta, 2B Walker, 3B Gordon, SS A.Gonzalez, CI A.Huff, OF Brantley/Raj.Davis/C.Hart/A.Torres Util C J.Buck/1B B.Wallace (DL Utley/V.Wells). Figure if I can clinch top marks in the pitching categories, and get into good position in steals (now that Davis and Torres are back from the DL) and rebound a bit in average, I can flip the studs in late July/early August for some top power hitters, which combined with Utley and Hart (just off DL) could get me into the pack in R/HR/RBI/Avg - enough to have a shot to win.
The Indians seem to be for real, what with a solid lineup, and a pitching staff that doesn't walk anyone while eliciting ground ball after ground ball. That's... odd.
The Browns had a very good draft, the Cavs are hoping the ping-pong balls bounce their way... sports in Cleveland are looking... up?!
Even when life isn't great, it's always nice to know it's (finally) heading in the right direction. Or at least, a better direction.

Xkcd's Prophecy

2011-05-09T18:58:00.000-04:00

In case you were wanted to know about the long-term effects of the flooding in the Midwest, xkcd's blog has a great write-up of what can be expected.

Every thousand years or so, the lower Mississippi changes course. It piles up enough silt at its delta that it ’spills over’ to a new shortest path to the ocean. At times, the outlet has been anywhere from Texas to the Florida Panhandle.
Since the early 20th century, the Mississippi has been trying to change course again—sending its main flow down the Atchafalaya river, which offers a much shorter, steeper path to the ocean. The Army Corps of Engineers was ordered by Congress to keep that from happening. The center of their effort is the Old River Control Structure, which limits the flow down the Atchafalaya to 30%.

The Morganza spillway has only been opened once (to take the stress off the failing ORCS in 1973), and then only partly. It’s fairly clear at this point that the Morganza spillway and the Bonnet Carré spillway will both be fully opened to route the flow away from New Orleans (which is expected to crest just a few feet below the tops of the levees there).
I have no idea how likely the Old River Control and Morganza structures are to fail, or whether a rerouting of the Misssissippi through a new channel would be irreversible. You can read some speculation on this here.

In other words, the US government has tried to reroute the Mississippi River for decades now, and in an effort to control the flood at this point, they may end up letting nature take its natural course, and the geography of the America changed. Or as Ezzie would put it "The government tried to get involved, and failed"

Why Vouchers Help Public Schools

2011-05-08T21:09:00.000-04:00

The State of Indiana recently passed a law allowing its citizens to use vouchers toward private education. The vouchers are approximately $4,500 which can be used as a credit toward tuition payments. The article which I saw discussing this noted that public schools in the State of Indiana spend approximately $9,000 per child per year on education.

This struck me as simply amazing. Why would anyone - particularly teachers' unions - object to such a credit? This is a huge savings for public schools, and creates smaller classes in those public schools while also creating a greater demand for teachers in general. Let's analyze this for a moment: For each student which leaves a public school to move to a private school of their choosing, the public schools will save a net of over $4,500 per student. In a school of 1,000 children, where 20% of the students leave the school, the school will save nearly $1 million in costs per year - savings which can be used for compensation, capital improvements, and improving the quality of materials and technology available to the school.

In addition, class sizes in those same public schools will now be 20% smaller. Teachers will be able to give better attention to students who need it, and won't feel as overwhelmed and overworked as they have in the past. On top of that, the movement of children to private schools will create a need for greater teachers and services in those private schools, particularly as those private schools are often competing with one another for students and need to keep class sizes low - and with the extra funds they're getting for every student in the school, they can pass their own cost savings to hiring those teachers and/or lowering tuition costs.

The bill is also brilliant in that it doesn't shift monies toward kids who were already going to go to private school - it restricts it to children who've spent one year in public school (not kindergarten), and it has income caps as well so money isn't being shifted to save tuition for richer kids who don't need the voucher away from public schools. While there are certainly some serious concerns with other facets of the bill (discussed here) in regards to the control it gives government over education, financially it is difficult to see what arguments could possibly be made against it.

While obviously vouchers are increasingly popular and various states are passing similar bills over the past few years, the basic outline of the Indiana bill as I understand it seems a wise one for all other states to follow.

25

2011-05-06T14:53:00.001-04:00

On May 6th, 1946, my grandfather (mother's side) celebrated his 25th birthday. May 6th, 1946 was also 5 Iyar. If I'm remembering correctly, at that time he was finishing his service to the United States Army, where just a couple years earlier he was one of the first American soldiers to meet the Soviets face to face. The Soviets forced him and his friend, who were looking for a missing pilot, out of the sky and then they questioned them for a while (apparently the Soviets weren't so sure that a pilot named Friedenreich was in fact American and not German). Once they sorted it all out, the Russian major in charge gave them a ruble while they gave a $5 bill to him; my grandfather noted that the Russian got the much better end of that deal. (Edit: My mom says Army not Air Force, and she never heard the story. But I did. Who knows...!) As the war was ending and for a period of time afterward, my grandfather helped set up refugee areas for Holocaust survivors in Europe (I may be putting that wrong - Ma?). On May 6th, 1946, somewhere in Cleveland, Ohio, my father was born.

On 5 Iyar, 1948, Israel declared its independence, and my father celebrated his second Hebrew birthday. Ever since I can remember, my father likes to note that there are so many people who celebrate his Hebrew birthday which huge festivities. That's good, because we aren't such festive party people in the Goldish family - we just like to see which of us calls first to wish him a Happy Birthday every May 6th.

Today, my grandfather turned 90 years old, while my father turned 65 years old (and is now on Medicare, woo!). I remarked to my grandparents when Elianna and I called them a few minutes ago that 90 is really something, particularly to be in such good shape. They thought that was funny, so I guess that's relative. Elianna noted that after he's 99, he'll turn 100 - they thought that was funny, too, and my grandmother remarked that I told her father the exact same thing when he turned 90 about 25 years ago.

My aunt is planning a birthday party for my grandfather, though it won't be until the summer when my cousins (who are both professors) are available to come with their wives and kids. I just think it's great that my grandparents are, at their age, in a condition (ba'h) where we can plan to have such a party in a few months. Moreover, it will be shortly after my grandparents' and parents' anniversaries - anniversaries #68 and #38. Now that's something.

Maybe even more importantly, when I called my Dad this morning, right after I wished him a Happy Birthday, I asked him if I won - and I had. Nice. :)

Happy Birthday to my father and grandfather - and many, many more.

Honesty and The Jewish Community VI: Cinco de Mayo

2011-05-05T01:12:00.000-04:00

(continued as part of this series)

One year ago today, I was flying to Israel for the wedding of my best friend basically from birth, Shragi. (Shragi writes the Well Waddaya Know... series on SerandEz.) Though we were tight on money at the time, I had miles saved up from when I was a kid, and Kayla was still under two years old, so our tickets were about $300 total. Work had become a bit nerve-wracking as our CEO was acting increasingly odd, and each week's payroll was becoming a nightmare of waiting - often a week or two past when it was supposed to be paid. But the last couple weeks since we'd finished our annual audit had been calmer, the CEO was saying he'd been able to raise some more funding once we filed our financials and that it was coming in, so I decided it was a good time for a short break. Throw in that this was Shragi's wedding, and I felt I had to go. My trip was for 6 days, so it was going to be a bit crazy (we have a ton of relatives in Israel), but it'd be fun, too.

Shortly after landing on a bright sunny morning, I had an annoying situation with my rental car. Suddenly the rental agency wanted to put a $900 hold on my rental, even though the cost was about $200 for the week. I couldn't do that, and was pissed that they sprung this on me on the spot with a crying baby when they'd said I was done when I booked it originally, so I followed my cousin's (who was ironically flying to the US that evening) advice and rented from another agency. Once this was done, I headed to my sister- and brother-in-law in Ramat Beit Shemesh to drop off my stuff before heading to the Old City.

I spent a couple hours in RBS before calling up our amazing friend Rivka T., who was available to come hang out with me in Jerusalem. I drove on Kvish Achad (Highway 1), loving the familiar and quickly transforming sites as I drove up and down through the hills on the way into the city. I picked Rivka up from around Sha'arei Tzedek hospital, and we began navigating our way through the heavy Jerusalem traffic to the Old City, on the way to visiting the Western Wall. The Israeli GPS was alternately great or horrible, but we were getting close when my phone rang - and not my Israeli rental, but my US Blackberry, which was only supposed to be used for emergencies.

It was 2:30 or so in Israel, and about 7:30am in New York City, so I was surprised to see it was the COO from work. I picked up, said hello, and he asked if I was sitting down. I asked if driving a car counts, so he told me to pull off to the side for a minute.

(deep breath) [Our CEO] was arrested this morning. The FBI came to his house at 5am, banged on the door, came in, and took him in front of his wife and kids. I have no clue what's going on, but I figured I'd let you know what I knew. I'll talk to you as soon as I found out more.

(to be continued)

Raising A Rothschild

2011-05-01T11:46:00.001-04:00

There's a really fantastic piece in this week's Mishpacha called "Raising A Rothschild", which discusses how to start children at a young age to be aware of finances and economics to better prepare them for their futures. There's this awesome guy* in the article who gives some really great advice:

Most financial experts tend to be in favor of a regular allowance. Ezzie Goldish, a financial consultant in the New York area, maintains: “If a kid has a fixed amount every week, he can figure out what he can buy, and he knows that if he blows it, he’s stuck. That’s a valuable lesson for later on in life.”

There's some other really great advice throughout the piece, especially by others, but one point to stress is that parents should not "bail out" their kids. I emphasize that the amount should be consistent, because it forces and allows the child to plan for future purchases. If they are able to spend their money and then come begging for more to get something else, the whole process is completely self-defeating. One parent allows an interesting "out" for situations like this, or where the child wants something much more expensive, which is to 'pay' them for doing 'extra' chores around the house, which I think is reasonable: It teaches the lesson that through extra hard work you can earn your way to receiving something you otherwise couldn't have gotten.

It's just a short preview of the piece; to get the whole article and the rest of the excellent magazine, sign up for a weekly subscription.

* Note: I may be biased.

Da Kirsch's NFL Mock Draft 2011

2011-04-28T03:47:00.000-04:00

Ezzie: For a few years, our good friend DaKirsch has been sending us his NFL Mock Draft Picks, and he's had a couple really impressive sets of predictions - often far surpassing the "experts". Of course, DaKirsch probably spends more time on this than any of them, so perhaps it's unfair...

This year, our SerandEz draft expert DaKirsch has sent in his picks from a special place - fresh off his first season as a running back for the Tel Aviv Pioneers in the IFL, the Israel Football League which is the first organized tackle football league in the Holy Land.

[click on any image to enlarge]

People With Questions

2011-04-17T16:56:00.000-04:00

R' Yitzchok Adlerstein has a fantastic response to the Ami piece discussed below, with the rather straightforward title People With Questions Are Not Sick. While it's possible to nitpick a couple lines, the basic thrust and points of the piece are right on target. Excerpts: (emphasis mine)

The first is that until recently, we had major talmidei chachamim well versed in the intellectual challenges of the day who devoted much time and energy battling the mockers and skeptics on their own turf. Think R Saadia Gaon, the Rambam, R Yehuda HaLevi hundreds of years ago. Think R Samson Raphael Hirsch, R Dovid Tzvi Hoffman, R Yitzchok Isaac Halevi, and the Malbim in more recent times, battling Higher Criticism or the platform of Reform, or the extremes of Jewish Wissenschaft. These figures studied and mastered the challenges from the inside, offering real counterpunches, rather than glib bromides. They did not, and could not, “prove” their case, but they could show that alternatives existed that were as attractive as any other. We do not have such figures today.

The second factor is the appearance of wrong answers. Sending serious seekers to vaunted “experts” is worse than allowing them to struggle on their own. Once a person meets the acclaimed “answer people,” the people everyone around him tells him or her are the greatest and deepest minds and finds their answers inadequate, he no longer has any reason to wait. He has gone to the top, and knows he cannot live with their approach – often with good reason.

The world of kiruv is populated with many wonderful people. Some of them are deep thinkers, and have taken the time to read and understand the genuine questions and doubts. Others, however, have swallowed the Kool-Aid. They are so convinced that answers are there, they imagine that they have found them, despite the fact that they are remarkably similar to the orthoprax subjects of the article, who are described as ignorant of both Torah and the secular challenges. Often, they are hopelessly ignorant of the literature and of the complexity of the challenges. (The embrace of the Bible Codes, the often shallow way in which the serious body of evolutionary evidence is dealt with, the use of oddball minority approaches to science, and the complete unawareness of issues relating to biblical studies are examples that come to mind. A good way to tell if you are dealing with one of them is if he tells you he has spoken to “the biggest scientists” – whatever that means.)

Even better:

It is vital to understand that there are many others whose questions are sincere, and whose situation is worsened by putting them in contact with purveyors of superficial and simplistic “answers.” There are far more of them than we think. [...] Rather than to meet well-meaning people who provide simplistic, facile and unsatisfactory approaches, it would be better to have them meet frum people of deep intellectual ability who also struggle, without detracting from their shemiras hamitzvos. There are many, many of them. They will provide some answers, but more importantly, will be models of how to live with questions.

Amen. For a bit of a Pesach vort, one aspect of the Hagaddah I've always found intriguing is that while we ask four questions at the beginning of the seder, and are encouraged to continue asking throughout, the discussion we have doesn't exactly answer those specific questions - and certainly not in the most straightforward fashion. There's a much higher level of complexity involved, and while certainly there are explanations given, there's always the aspect of a person needing to understand and determine for themselves what exactly is meant by it all and what to take away from the night.

We here at SerandEz would like to wish a wonderful Chag Sameach to all our family, friends, supporters, and readers. May we all merit to have our questions answered, and may we celebrate next year in Yerushalayim Habenuya.

Impostors

2011-04-14T09:30:00.000-04:00

R' Eliyahu Fink has an article up about Ami Magazine's recent piece, "The Impostors Among Us". (As I was writing this, Chana penned a piece as well which is quite good.)

In essence, the Ami piece is about Orthoprax individuals within the Orthodox Jewish community - people who don't believe in various integral aspects of Orthodox belief, but essentially go through the motions to stay within the community for various reasons. Orthopraxy (which seems important to differentiate from people merely struggling with aspects of frumkeit) is according to the article a growing phenomenon, boosted to a large extent by information, questions, and discussion which are available on the internet.

The most troubling aspect of Orthopraxy which is touched on in the article is the dishonesty involved. Regardless of one's own feelings about Judaism, is it fair to subject one's family and friends to one's own lying life? One Orthoprax individual in the article, "Eli", wishes to marry an Orthodox girl despite his beliefs, because that's all he can relate to; another serves as a posek despite not believing in his own judgments. This dishonest approach to life seems incredibly wrong, and unfair to all those whom it impacts.

But on the other side, the article is absolutely horrendous. It falsely portrays issues people have as idiotic and "so-called scientific questions"; proclaims itself as intellectual while presuming that those who fall off are not intellectual and instead are justifying "chasing after taavos"; describes those who have these struggles as having a "sickness" or emotional problems; and is otherwise absurd in its approach and how people could/used to avoid the issue, which is essentially never come across any questions via lack of access to them, especially via the internet. On top of everything else, the smug interviewer caps the article with a note that "steps have been taken to protect the public" from the posek mentioned above. This is a real sticky move, depending a lot on what actions were taken; obviously it's important to remove someone from a position where they are obviously not fit, but it's a real lack of journalistic integrity to act on a source like that.

If people truly wish to combat Orthopraxy in Judaism, then it will come not from sticking our head in the sand but by truly confronting the questions which we face and understanding both the questions and reasonable, logical approaches to them. If we believe in what we say, then we should have no issue saying what we believe and why. To dismiss those who question and struggle with a wave of the hand or by denouncing them as heretical, declaring them ill, or claiming they are simply out for taava is foolish at best, and most likely incredibly destructive. In fact, it would be reasonable to say that it is 'journalism' such as this which contributes heavily to people turning away from the fold through its disdain for those who dare think about their beliefs.

Horrible.

EZ Reads 4/13/11

2011-04-13T21:56:00.001-04:00

Via Yourish, the city that outsourced everything. This is absolutely brilliant. Sandy Springs, Georgia, broke off from Fulton County in 2005, and decided that rather than create their own services at a large expense, they would outsource it. Unsurprisingly, this resulted in a huge cost savings, as they pay a fraction to private industries to take care of their municipal needs, and are able to invest that savings into capital projects to create an efficient infrastructure. They have no long-term liabilities, have not had to raise taxes, and they have plenty of money still available. It's incredibly impressive, and is a perfect example as to how government should not only not take over services, but should outsource these services as much as possible to private companies. Since Sandy Springs started, a few other communities have incorporated similarly and are following their lead.
Tonight is Joe Tait's last night behind the microphone at Cleveland Cavalier games. He's the best there ever was. A couple good articles here and here.
Chana posts the transcripts from the very important symposium The Cycle of Violence: Power and Control in Relationships. An important read for anyone married, engaged, or dating.
The Atlantic with an interesting insight into the minds of geniuses in How Genius Works, by asking a number of creative minds how they work.
Daled Amos with a great quote on why the Palestinians may not be ready for statehood:
Not to put too fine a point on it: if you can’t finish drafting your constitution; if your “president” is in the seventh year of his four-year term; if you have no functioning legislature and cannot hold parliamentary elections; if half your putative state is occupied by terrorists; if your education system is a cesspool of anti-Semitism; if you insist upon dedicating public squares to those who massacred civilians; if your ruling party is corroded by corruption; if you have no free press or independent judiciary; if you cannot implement anything in negotiations that you refuse to conduct in any event; and if you haven’t finished Phase I of the Roadmap . . . well, you might not be ready for a state.
Rick Richman, All Set to Be a Failed State
Unless you are talking about the state of Palestine. Well, at least the state will be financially viable--what with 60% of the GNP for the West Bank coming from the US, EU, UN and World Bank.
Sigh.

Honesty and The Jewish Community V: Well Intentioned

2011-04-13T15:22:00.000-04:00

(continued as part of this series)

A friend sent over a video a few minutes ago, asking what I thought about it. The video is of two children at the seder, with them looking over to their father's empty seat while they say the Mah Nishtana. Where is their father? Well, an image of him standing by his chair appears, wearing the orange jumpsuit of convicted criminals. He speaks to the camera, saying "No matter if I was right - or wrong - I will make peace with my situation. (pause) But I cannot speak for them, my children." The information for a charity then comes up, detailing its services, which include basic charity work such as food and babysitting, but also includes visitation to the incarcerated and Jewish resources for prisoners.

A few people have already defended the video, saying that we must separate the children from the parent in terms of how they are viewed: They are children who are essentially orphans, and need our help, and that to not support them would be "punishing them for their parents' sins".

I find the video appalling. To separate out convicted criminals as a class of people who deserve our assistance is mind-boggling to me. I see no reason at all why there should be added sympathy for someone who has committed a crime, and I strongly feel that the knowledge of the existence of such a safety net that is specific to criminals will only placate the concerns of those who are considering committing crimes, allowing them to feel safe in the knowledge that should they be unsuccessful in or caught committing criminal activity that there is an organization to take care of their children. There is absolutely no reason to separate these families from other families who need assistance, and there are certainly better ways to allocate our charitable donations than to make up for the activities of criminals.

This well-intentioned approach to Jewish criminals is not exclusive to this charity; it strikes as a familiar mantra whenever criminal acts are committed by members of the community. The varied comments one hears when someone commits a crime are almost always dedicated to judging the criminal favorably, or even mitigating if not denying the impact of the criminal acts that were committed:

"But he's so nice - he gave so much charity, he helped so many people out."
"He created jobs for people, including people who were unemployed."
"He's not the first nor will he be the last... sometimes these things happen/Come on, everyone does it."
"Was anyone really hurt by what she did? She helped so many people through what she did. Those people/companies/governments won't miss a penny, they'd have just wasted it anyway."
"They probably felt pressure to succeed from their families and the success they saw their neighbors having."
"Living in the frum world is really, really expensive - sometimes the only way to 'make it' is to try something a little more... questionable."
"It's muttar to take from the government/their rules are ridiculous anyway/he didn't really do exactly what they said he did."
"That's just the way it is."

Some of these are worse than others, but the general theme is clear. People have well-intentioned approaches to how they view those who have committed criminal activity, often for very different reasons.

On top of these well-intentioned approaches, we have the rare individuals or groups who try to expose problems in the community, but almost never seem to manage to do so appropriately. Even when the intentions are positive, so often the methods cross all lines of human decency or harassment and worse, honesty. These methods only end up backfiring, allowing people to twist stories into discussions about the accuser(s) and/or their methods rather than the issues at hand, and the backlash they face discourages those who may be open to help solving the issues that plague our community, and they retreat for fear of the consequences they may face.

It is not enough for us as a community to be honest ourselves - though if we all did so, it would be an excellent start. While we must be sure not to allow our positive intentions in one way to let ourselves get carried away and act inappropriately, we should also not allow our other positive intentions to judge people favorably to mask the disgust we must feel at those who are dishonest and commit crimes, both within the community and outside of it. We should never be acting in a way which even implies a defense of those who commit dishonest acts - it is not just insensitive to those who have been hurt, but it's just plain wrong.

(to be continued)

EZ Reads 4/12/11

2011-04-13T00:04:00.000-04:00

Today was a good, busy day, with some exciting possibilities. This is opposed to my fantasy baseball team, which currently has a 1 in every hitting category, 5 guys on the DL (and another couple hurt), and is barely above the Mendoza line. Ugh.

Scott Adams has a great piece in the Wall Street Journal on how to get a real education, with some fantastic, funny stories. Excerpt: (not the stories, read the whole article for those)
Attract Luck. You can't manage luck directly, but you can manage your career in a way that makes it easier for luck to find you. To succeed, first you must do something. And if that doesn't work, which can be 90% of the time, do something else. Luck finds the doers. Readers of the Journal will find this point obvious. It's not obvious to a teenager.
Conquer Fear. I took classes in public speaking in college and a few more during my corporate days. That training was marginally useful for learning how to mask nervousness in public. Then I took the Dale Carnegie course. It was life-changing. The Dale Carnegie method ignores speaking technique entirely and trains you instead to enjoy the experience of speaking to a crowd. Once you become relaxed in front of people, technique comes automatically. Over the years, I've given speeches to hundreds of audiences and enjoyed every minute on stage. But this isn't a plug for Dale Carnegie. The point is that people can be trained to replace fear and shyness with enthusiasm. Every entrepreneur can use that skill.
Write Simply. I took a two-day class in business writing that taught me how to write direct sentences and to avoid extra words. Simplicity makes ideas powerful.
On a related note, Lifehacker's piece on what lucky people do differently is entertaining and spot on. Ironically, despite being a rather large proponent of themes in both pieces, I've been rather unlucky in many ways, but I think those can be attributed to some really bad flukes (and people).
Bad4Shidduchim on singles events dynamics.
Interesting piece on Freakonomics discussing how fixing the typos and errors in online reviews boosts sales.
A funny, clever video on Cross Currents called "Kiruv with Sechel" but which also is a great Pesach kashering primer.

EZ Reads 4/11/11

2011-04-11T22:22:00.001-04:00

I will be at the OU's offices tomorrow for all those who work there - email me and I'll try to stop by to say hi.

Some more general stuff for today...

Yad Vashem has posted the videos from Eichmann's trial on YouTube on the 50th anniversary of them.
The New York Times on anorexia in the Orthodox Jewish community (HT: iPay). I have not read the book, but Naomi Feigenbaum's memoir "One Life" mentioned in the article is supposed to be quite good. (I grew up a few houses down from Naomi's family and used to play basketball on their hoop every day.)
ProfK questions why the Star-K charges specifically for the Kosher for Pesach medications list.
Nice piece in Smithsonian magazine on Cleveland's reinventing itself. (HT: Rebbetzin Rocks)
RafiG with a hilarious video called "killing bureaucracy".
Doghouse with a funny truism on how people view their own voices.

Santa Monica Bombing Suspect Arrested

2011-04-11T21:35:00.001-04:00

According to YWN, the suspect in the bombing of a Santa Monica synagogue (a Chabad shul) was arrested in the Agudah shul in Cleveland Heights (I'm assuming they mean Torah U'Tefillah, across the street from the Hebrew Academy of Cleveland on Taylor Road).

Sources tell YWN that the suspect arrived at the home of the Rov on Sunday evening, asking for a place to sleep. Community activists involved in assisting people, questioned the man asking him for his name, and where he was from. All his answers were very vague, and the man refused to answer many questions – even brushing their questions off using perfect Yiddish. Instead of allowing him to sleep in the local “Hachnosas Orchim” room, they placed the man in a motel for the night, and brought him Kosher food to eat.

This afternoon, the man once again requested to stay in the Hachnosas Orchim room, but once again refused to reveal his name. Instead he said his name was “Ron Jay”.

A short while later, the community activist who had been dealing with him all day, was at home and using a computer, and suddenly came a cross a photo of the suspect while reading the news. The resemblance was shocking. The facial features were exactly as this homeless man was, just that he was missing his beard.

The man called the FBI, who in turn instructed him to call the local police department, who arrived to where the man was – which was inside the Agudah Shul. The suspect was sitting in front of an open Sefer, when he was politely asked by police to exit the Shul. He followed instructions, and after getting outside, he confirmed that his name was in fact “Ron Hirsch”.

He was arrested without further incident.

Interesting. I wonder why he picked Cleveland, unless he was simply looking for a place with an Orthodox community large enough to help him out but hoping not to come across anyone who may recognize him.

Obscured by Clouds

2011-04-11T11:26:00.000-04:00

Chana recently had a status on G-chat which pointed to a new blog, Obscured by Clouds, by "Cymbaline", a 20-year old self-described questioning tri-state Jewish girl mostly "off the derech", living at home again, Pink Floyd fan who has tried drugs, alcohol, and poor relationships. Curious, I decided to check it out, and started reading. And reading. After a few minutes I chatted Chana with a simple "That's a crazy interesting blog."

Since then, I've continued to read the blog, and have been looking for an excuse to post about it. It's always tricky with more personal blogs, where you don't want to feel invasive by opening it up to the public, but I asked for and was given permission to do so, so it's just been a wait for the right catch that would resonate with readers. This morning, I read Cymbaline's latest post, and thought that the woman in the story nailed her assessment of Cymbaline, while simultaneously understanding what she needed for her own daughter.

And I feel it growing inside me. A twisted gut full of anger and annoyance. Here it comes, my brain is saying. She's going to ask you where you went wrong. Tell me all the mistakes you made so my daughter won't repeat them. Though more artfully asked - how can i make sure my daughter doesn't make all the dumb decisions you did?

Except none of this comes.

Instead she askes me to talk to her daughter. To let her know there's someone who she can turn to who maybe went through some of the same things she is going through. Someone other than a friend (who doesn't know anything), a parent (who she is rebelling against) or a rabbi (who she seems to have lost interest in).

Perhaps best of all is how she seems to have read Cymbaline perfectly:

She gives me the sweetest smile ANYONE has ever given me in my life.

I see you around Cymbaline, she tells me. I see you shopping for your mother or running your errands. I see how you interact with people. I see you smile at everyone and have nice words for everyone. I've asked about you too. Not from the yentas who would say bad things about you, but from people who would know you better. No one has a bad word to say about you.

Obscured by Clouds is excellent not only because of the content and ride Cymbaline seems to be on, but the self-honesty that's sprinkled (if not poured) throughout. While surely to many Cymbaline is obscured by clouds, it doesn't take a lot to see her for who she really is, and that's far more impressive.

I'm Crazy, But Only For A Day

2011-04-09T20:30:00.001-04:00

Guest post by YH

When I got back into shidduchim last year, there was one rule first and foremost in my mind: I’m looking to get married not to play games. One of my goals in marriage is to find the happiness that comes from stability, and it’s hard to be happy when you have this huge gaping hole in your life. It’s hard to look at the positives when you see such a big negative. It’s hard to enjoy yourself when all you want to do is lie down and indulge in self-pity. We’ve all had something which makes us feel incredibly lousy. It’s the essence of the shidduch crisis. The crisis isn’t that there are thousands of unmarried men and women who desire strongly to have kids and raise a family. The crisis is you and me. It’s a personal crisis shared by thousands.

I know what it means to hold a baby in your arms, to teach a child to read, to show little ones right from wrong. Boruch Hashem, I’ve been blessed with several ridiculously cute nephews and nieces (kn’ayin harah) whom I treasure more than anything and who love me back unconditionally. Boruch Hashem I have a close relationship with my married siblings, and I have a glimpse on the world “inside”.

It’s the hardest thing for me in the world.

How can you maintain a balance, an equilibrium, when every day you’re constantly reminded that you’re still alone, that you’re still single - especially in our culture which is centered around family life? How can you maintain yourself with rejection after rejection; to see your optimism and self-confidence crumble into dust?

Take some time off. Indulge a little in your self-pity. Don’t feel guilty; just let it wash over yourself. Watch a movie, hang out with a friend. Do something that will let you just relax. Then think it through – remember what your life is about. The life I want has a wife and a family. Children of my own. But that’s not the life Hashem gave me, not yet, and I have no business wallowing when there is so much out there for me. Grab life by the horns. Kick yourself back into high-gear, make a goal for yourself, and then follow the steps necessary to accomplish it. Start exercising, drop a few pounds, ditch the raggedy sweater with the nacho stains and get a nice shirt or a new tie. Make yourself feel better about being you, and start being proactive. Everyone has a bad day once in a while. It’s ok to be crazy.

But only for a day.

EZ Reads & Commentary 4/8/11

2011-04-08T17:45:00.000-04:00

There's something in here for everyone - enjoy! (HT: Diana for a few of these)

On the more serious side:

Mother in Israel, who sadly lost her father, writes about what was helpful (and what was not) during her shiva. A good series of advice for people on how to help... and how not to. (MiI)
Russian billionaire to fund Jewish "Al-Jazeera", except with less propaganda. (JPost)
A CNN sports legend is leaving birthday messages for his little daughter as he fights a losing battle with cancer. (CNN)
Eli Clark on "Who is Modern Orthodox?" (Hirhurim)
Josh Waxman asks if believing a pomegranate has 613 seeds is a fundamental belief (no) and explains why some truly think so.(Parshablog)
On a What Would You Do show (Israeli version, not ABC's), it's impressive that just about every Israeli not just didn't support an (acting) anti-Arab store owner, but criticized, offered to pay for the (acting) Arab lady trying to buy coffee, and many got extremely emotional (angry or sad) about it. (Cross Currents)

Elsewhere, some fun/cool stuff:

New sport that looks cool/fun, if a bit confusing (Why do they have 4 goals if it's two teams? Do they have to defend two each?) - Kronum.
Unorthodox Orthodox guitarist. I just like that he was playing at an IFL game. (RafiG)
Israel winery wins international award - I always liked Golan. (EoZ)
Israeli tots win international ice hockey tournament... despite never having played on ice before. (EoZ)
Fun video from the Governor press conference when the famous YouTube kid who cried he couldn't be Governor is made Governor for a day in New Jersey. If Christie does run for President, this video will do him well; also, he comes off well on TV.
Cool time lapse video of a flight from San Francisco to Paris. Best part: Aurora Borealis in middle.
Via A Soldier's Mother, Dov Hoschander (a genuinely nice guy who I've met a few times through a friend) has made a really nice music video of a song dedicated to the IDF, based on the Mi Shebeirach for soldiers in the army.

Seeing is Believing in Politics, Too

2011-04-08T16:52:00.000-04:00

It's why President Obama started his 2012 campaign before a government shutdown potentially occurs (to change the visual) even though it seemingly hurts him (to run against his own record with no clear opponent), while the NRSC wisely spoofed it quickly (and reasonably well; via SIL) and how Paul Ryan is doing far more damage to Obama with the great visual accompaniments to his own budget proposal than by simply proposing an alternate budget to the President's. (Video via YwL)

While most people won't even spend the time to watch this, it's actually a) pretty interesting and well done and b) far more likely to be watched by people than the budget proposal being read in any way, and c) gives a much more clear picture of what we're talking about.

Honesty and the Jewish Community IV: Seeing is Believing (and Ignorance is Bliss)

2011-04-07T02:09:00.002-04:00

(continued from here - whole series is here)

Friends of ours once made a comment literally in passing, as we stopped to say hi to one another walking down the street, that has always stuck out. It was shortly after the Jewish Economics Survey was started the first time around, and was quite honest. Our friends commented that they had seen the survey, but they decided after starting it that they didn't really want to take it. When we asked why not, they responded that "We know that right now and for the foreseeable future, we are living way beyond our means. We'd rather not know exactly how bad it is or think about it too much, and just enjoy life and worry about it later when we can do something about it." To be fair, these friends are not blinding themselves - one is now a doctor, the spouse a professional as well - nor living fancily, and they simply wouldn't have had the ability to do too much about their finances for a while. But the attitude is a real one, albeit differing in scope from person to person.

Often in life, we tend to unconsciously (if not consciously) convince ourselves that things are better than they really are. Sometimes, this is a good trait: It allows us to be more optimistic about life, stay sane when times are rough, continue to function well on a daily basis until things really do get better, or maybe even just allow us to continue enjoying watching sports (last one may apply only to people from Cleveland). But it can also get us into trouble, by not letting us recognize problems quickly enough and allowing them to fester and grow until it's too late. People (usually) innately understand this to be true, which is why so much of life seems to be full of advice columns and tips and tricks which essentially are supposed to 'trick' us into thinking about things properly and doing what we're supposed to be doing.

The easiest way to avoid issues in life is to not see them - and the way to solve them, while difficult, is to open one's eyes and honestly assess what is happening. It's why Mint.com, the free personal finance site and (as many friends and readers know) a personal favorite, sold itself to Intuit for $170 million within a few years of its creation - its visual appeal made its popularity take off and they picked up millions of users in almost no time. One of its PR liaisons once explained the site was delaying putting out a Blackberry application due to its lack of visual appeal on the Blackberries out at that time, and how important the visual representations of spending were to the impact the site had on its users. A favorite story are couples who have stopped fighting about their expenses once they could see it all in front of them clearly, and started working to fix their budget. Without that "in front of your face" simple-to-understand representation, all the data in the world couldn't impact a user the same way.

We have so many issues in the Orthodox community, and yet we turn a blind eye so often to the wrongs the occur within it - from white collar criminals to shady business practices, from excusing horrible behavior and commentary to racism and the like, to the way people are treated as ba'alei teshuva/geirim or in the shidduchim process, to the (finally being discussed somewhat) cases of abuse, we let so much slide. Worse yet, we justify so much of it in the name of "the community" or as "necessary evils" to be put up with. As a simple example, this past week a suit needed to get dry-cleaned prior to an event, and Serach brought it to a nearby dry cleaner we have never used before that said they could get it done that day for a reasonable price. When I went to pick up the suit and pay via debit card, they said they couldn't take it for under $25 - and that since they don't advertise that they accept credit cards, they can refuse to take it. I pointed out that this was false, as per their cardmember agreement, and they said to report them but they will not give me the suit, and literally grabbed it away and took it to the back. (Ezzie: I actually did report them, but apparently in NY you can't report a dry cleaner - they have a specific exemption for dry cleaners that they won't take complaints. Odd.) What disgusted me the most was their argument: The owner said to me,

"I don't care what the rule is, I know I'm not supposed to, but (waving his arm motioning to the other stores nearby) every other store here does it, go ask them. They all won't take cards for under whatever, and I won't either accept credit cards for under $25."

Sadly, the thought that goes through the head of listeners to stories like this not automatically that this is a dishonest store not to be visited, but all too often instead that "I have to remember to bring cash when I go to that dry cleaner."

Until we as a community show that we will absolutely not accept dishonesty at any level, we are simply feeding its continuance and growth. Blissful ignorance may sometimes work for one's self, but it translates into and contributes to countless people being hurt, seeing their lives damaged if not destroyed, and placing many of them into truly dangerous situations. These are not merely the people we pass by on the street but don't really know, so we can pretend that it's "not so bad", but these are our colleagues and people in our shul, our neighbors and friends - people like us.

Or us, too.

(to be continued)

EZ Reads 4/5/11

2011-04-05T15:08:00.000-04:00

Clearing out all the posts I've been meaning to put up in the last week...

How Israel could become an energy giant (WSJ)
R' Herschel Schachter on What Is Orthodox? (Matzav - HT: YS)
Nice piece on Mimulo flower shop in Brooklyn by The New York Times, which also has some interesting insights into the Chabad/Orthodox world surrounding it. (HT: Hirhurim)
Great news piece by WBAL about a teacher in Ner Israel - Baltimore who has been teaching for 75 years, including 51 at NIRC. (Aish)
Full transcript of Netanyahu's YouTube interview (DaledAmos). Really interesting.
An interesting collection of thoughts on James Kugel's recent book (Fink or Swim)
What adopting a white girl taught one black family (Newsweek). I don't know that the biases are so much more true for black parents of a white child than the reverse - I think it's natural to suspect an adult tending to a child that looks nothing like them, and distinctly recall having similar concerns on a whitewater rafting trip where my friend and I were on a raft with a black child with white adoptive parents. (Their continuous negativity didn't help much.) That said, I think there's a reasonable case to be made for taking race into some kind of consideration in adoption - if in a specific case the race of the child or parents could become a troubling factor for the child as they try to grow up it may not be a good situation. Similarly, I think there's a preference (or should be) to keep children with people of the same general religion and the like - I know OHEL tries to move Jewish children into Jewish foster homes, for example.

The Power of Words

2011-04-05T14:34:00.000-04:00

(Hat tip: Shoshana K) A brilliant ad on the power of words.

From A Small Child

2011-04-05T14:22:00.000-04:00

A really moving video by Sinai Schools, which provide a "uniquely special education" to special needs kids, talking about how they built and progressed over the decade, including integrating into regular education classrooms at Kushner schools in New Jersey, and the success of some alumni of the program as they've moved on in life. One of the feature students is the brother of a friend of ours, and another alumnus shown is a good friend of Serach's from college.

"The SINAI Schools encompass two elementary schools, three high schools and two transitional group residences for young adults. Since we operate within "host" schools, many of our children are mainstreamed for portions of the day, both academically and socially, into regular school classes and extra-curricular activities --- a powerful process whose results richly reward both student populations."

One Heart Global

2011-04-05T00:45:00.001-04:00

Over the last few weeks, our close friend (whom I wrote about here) who lives in Israel was staying at our home while on vacation. While she was on a short road trip with a friend during her vacation, and we were taking Kayla for surgery to have a second round of tubes put in her ears, there was a bus bombing in Jerusalem. After the surgery I tried calling her to let her know about the attack, and she asked if I had spoken to her mother - apparently her mother had tried calling her a few times. The fear in her voice was palpable, and while thank God nobody from her family was near the attack, it brought back the memories of my own years in Israel and all the times since when there have been terror attacks and the frantic calls back and forth to let everyone know everyone was okay (or c'v not).

During my time in Israel in 2001-2003, I would often go to this friend's first cousin, also a great family friend who we had grown up with in Cleveland. She had kindly offered to let me come and often bring friends to watch NFL (particularly Browns) games late Sunday nights in her apartment, along with having me for meals if I was in the area. I was near her Katamon apartment, on the way back from her cousin's family in Efrat, when bombers blew up Ben Yehuda street killing about 25 and injuring over a hundred, including a cousin's brother-in-law, narrowly missing friends of mine from school. I recall hearing a large boom, then... mostly silence, from where I was. I recall wondering why no buses came, no traffic at all in fact, for about 45 minutes - only to hear the news when cousins started calling me to see if I had been nearby.

While in Katamon on occasion, I also became friends with her roommate at the time, Sarri Singer, who was very active in numerous ways. She was dedicated to helping victims of terror and working (if I'm recalling correctly) for Gift of Life, which is a massive bone marrow registry, actually setting up a swabbing at Ohr Yerushalayim where I was in school one day where the whole yeshiva took part. Her roommate's father, who was my own father's best friend for fifty years, had died of leukemia, which made her work that much more meaningful. Sarri had come to Israel dedicated to helping victims of terror after a missed alarm clock led to her not being in her office just two buildings away from Ground Zero on 9/11. I recall thinking that what she did was really just impressive - she was truly dedicated to working hard on the various projects and causes she was involved with.

The week I left the country after my second year in Israel, I was horrified to learn that she herself had been on a bus which was blown up by a terrorist, killing a little girl seated next to her along with 15 others, wounding over 100, and leaving her hospitalized for two weeks.

Today, I see that her hard work and dedication is paying numerous dividends. Sarri has co-founded and grown an amazing organization called OneHeartGlobal, dedicated to helping victims of terror from all over the world. This past Friday she and an Irish member who has lost eight family members in attacks were interviewed by Gayle King, and you can listen to the full interview there.

You can donate to OneHeartGlobal here.

Queens Israel Solidarity Concert

2011-04-04T12:29:00.001-04:00

Queens Israel Solidarity Concert 2011

Israel Solidarity Fund of America

3502 Quentin Road Brooklyn, NY 11234

(917) 751-1237

April 4, 2011

Dear Friend,

In the last few weeks a young family in Itamar, Israel was brutally murdered and the following week a bus was bombed in Jerusalem. Americans read about these horrible events and now many are looking for a way to help. We live here in New York without such fears of attack and bombings. We must stand together in support of those who risk their lives each day by living in Israel. Their presence in Israel ensures that Jewish people will always have a homeland.

We will be holding a benefit concert to bring people in the Queens community and beyond together in support of Israel and to raise money for victims of terror.

By aiding victims of terror we will help ourselves and our people to live better lives. We need your help. As a grassroots effort, being launched by members of the community, we need to raise money to make money. At this time we are looking to raise $40-50,000 by April 10, 2011 in order to get this event off the ground. Once we have sponsorships for the event, all profits from the concert will go directly to the victims and their families. Israel Solidarity Fund is run by volunteers and has no over head costs. We hope we can count on your support.

Queens Israel Solidarity Concert
June 19, 2011 at CUNY Queens College – Colden Theatre
Top Jewish music talent (TBD based on monies raised)

Sponsorship Levels:

Platinum - $25,000

Name/Logo on all ads – concert sponsored by…, 20 VIP tickets, ad on inside-cover of playbill

Gold - $15,000

15 VIP tickets, banner on stage, ad on inside-cover of playbill

Silver - $10,000

10 VIP tickets, banner on stage, ad on inside-cover of playbill

Bronze - $5,000

8 VIP tickets, banner on stage, full-page ad in playbill

Supporter - $2,500

6 VIP tickets, banner on stage, full-page ad in playbill

Corporate - $1,000

6 VIP tickets, full-page ad in playbill

Family - $500

4 VIP tickets, half-page ad in playbill

Friend - $250

2 VIP tickets, quarter-page ad in playbill

Thank you in advance for your generosity and support. Please call with any questions or for more information.

Sincerely,

Samantha Kramer
Co-Chair Queens Israel Solidarity Concert

EZ Reads 4/2/11

2011-04-02T22:24:00.000-04:00

Austin Kleon: How to Steal Like an Artist (and 9 other things nobody told me). There are some really good points within.
Hirhurim on R' Gedalia Dov Schwartz's pamphlet on converts to Judaism. Very interesting.
More parents are at least considering public and charter schools in New Jersey.
IsraellyCool analyzes the ridiculous Times op-ed by a Jewish couple about checkpoints in Israel, noting the history of attacks of soldiers at checkpoints including that very checkpoint, and showing that the time spent going through isn't much different than what a person may go through at airport security.
Goldstone backs away from his now infamous Goldstone Report, which condemned Israel. Thanks, only two years too late to use common sense. Whatever, it's better than nothing.

Phantom Charges From Aron's - Call Aron's or Your Bank

2011-04-01T13:27:00.000-04:00

IMPORTANT IF YOU HAVE SHOPPED AT ARON'S KISSENA FARMS

They have had an issue with their credit card processing machines, and you may have been charged randomly! We noticed a $100+ charge hitting our bank yesterday from Aron's Kissena Farms in Kew Gardens Hills, despite not having shopped there in a week. We called them last night, and were told they would look into it and we'd be called back (we were not). We called again today, they looked into it, and they said it was their error and have issued a refund (after transposing the refund amount and charging us again to make up the difference). Check your account and make sure any charges from Aron's were actually incurred, and if not, call them up and complain and/or call your bank to dispute the charge.

And yes, I think it's odd. It's not as if it was the same amount we spent and it accidentally resent the charge - it's a completely random (yet realistic) amount, which means many people may just think "Aron's, looks about right", and let it go.

Please be aware!

EZ Commentary 3/31/11

2011-03-31T22:31:00.000-04:00

It's been a busy/sick-ish week, so please excuse the lack of real posting. On the positive side of the week, despite (because of? I kid...) Eliezer StrongBad's absence, our Lander Alumni basketball team won its first game of the semester... and then its second.

Today is Major League Baseball's Opening Day, which means my fantasy team is already last in hitting and tops in pitching, as usual. On that note, enjoy a really great promo for the Cleveland Indians entitled What If?, though it has nothing to do with this not quite interesting yet group of prospects. Neither does this one, which is more Cleveland-esque and more emotional.

The New York Times printed a rather ridiculous editorial today by a Jewish couple (which twice emphasized their Jewish heritage as if that gives them a pass) which detailed their transparently predetermined view of their experience going through a checkpoint in Israel (and "Palestine"). All in all, the actual detail doesn't read as so horrible except by perception - not nearly as violating-feeling as a TSA check at an airport, for example. That the structure is a strong, reinforced, and protected one is so obviously due to consistent attacks at checkpoints in addition to innumerable terrorist attacks over the last dozen years is completely ignored. Elder of Ziyon fisks the piece nicely. In case anyone needs a reminder as to why such structures are in place, the Mayor of Itamar Moshe Goldsmith spoke at Yeshiva University today (HT: Fudge) about the tragic massacre of five members of the Fogel family.

I knew it! Gut instincts are shown to be real. (HT: ShanaMaidel)

One of the reasons I love smaller communities (and enjoyed the OU Emerging Communities fair on Sunday) is the real care put into the Jewish community and into other Jews, as told over in this nice story at BeyondBT.

Another reason to dislike Twitter, Foursquare, and other narcissistic social media platforms, plus more innocuous sites such as Flickr: Creepy. Creepy is a site that stalks and aggregates people's frequented hangouts based on their self-published GPS information from those sites. Nice. For parents, advice: Educate your kids about this stuff.

Finally, Harry blasts a pet peeve of mine: People assuming God's motives. In this case, it's Rabbi David Twersky, leader of the Rachmastrivka Chasidic dynasty, saying "The Japanese don’t understand why they keep on receiving blow after blow, and it never ends. If they want it to stop, they must release the two guys jailed in their prison immediately, and then experience salvation." Ugh. There's better Torah coming from Newark Mayor Cory Booker, who delivered a really fantastic 15-minute shmuess at a Chabad dinner. He's a really great speaker, and his divrei Torah are on the mark. (HT: Sam - password is Chabad)

Enjoy!

I Am A Soldier

2011-03-31T19:39:00.000-04:00

In some real-life irony, last night I attended a fantastic dinner by The Harbour League, a Maryland think tank dedicated to government financial transparency, honoring Herb London; the feature speaker was Norman Podhoretz, who was excellent. One of the lines THL's Chairman Eli Gold used when describing London was a President John Adams quote:

"I must study Politicks and War that my sons may have liberty to study Mathematicks and Philosophy. My sons ought to study Mathematicks and Philosophy, Geography, natural History, Naval Architecture, navigation, Commerce, and Agriculture, in order to give their Children a right to study Painting, Poetry, Musick, Architecture, Statuary, Tapestry, and Porcelaine."

This morning, as I was going through my feeds, there was an article on Freakonomics in their "Quotes Uncovered" series where someone asked about the quote, wondering if it was Washington. It's odd that I'd never seen the full quote before (the concept of it I have heard), and then suddenly to have heard/seen it twice in 24 hours.

EZ Reads 3/30/11

2011-03-30T13:33:00.000-04:00

Marco Rubio with a great editorial today on why he won't vote to raise the debt ceiling without significant changes to tax structures, Social Security, Medicare, and the like. I was reminded of the famous story of the old man being asked why he's planting an apple tree, and answering because his grandfather planted one so he would have it, so he is planting one so his grandchildren will have it. It's sad that most people are too engrossed in the present to look at the future. (WSJ)
A really interesting self-essay by QB Eric Ainge on his struggles with painkiller drugs and alcohol addictions. (ESPN)
Chana links to some fun upcoming Jewish events, including The First National Jewish Collegiate A Capella Competition.
Via his wife, Divrei Chaim with an interesting piece on Nadav and Avihu and what one of their sins was: Leaving women who wished to marry them as agunos because they felt they were above the women due to their status. Another chiddush, courtesy of R' Henoch Leibowitz zt"l, is an interesting mussar lesson - read the whole piece.

Separate But Equal

2011-03-29T22:30:00.000-04:00

New York City metro area

(Hat tip: SaraK) Slate has a really fascinating piece analyzing the census data which has come out for the United States, focusing especially on the de facto segregation that still exists today. The slideshow, which has mapped images of the top 10 most segregated cities, is really cool.

The most segregated are:

Milwaukee
New York
Chicago
Detroit
Cleveland
Buffalo
St. Louis
Cincinnati
Philadelphia
Los Angeles

I've lived in three of these cities, and can't say the results are too surprising. Milwaukee had a nice swath of white supremacists, but that alone obviously doesn't tell the story. (For instance, the Cleveland expert feels Cleveland's split demographic has more to do with people leaving Cleveland, period, than specifically leaving communities blacks are moving to.) One point that I think is interesting is that the cities which are heavily segregated all voted heavily for President Obama in the last election - and not just the urban sections of mostly minorities, but the suburban sections of whites as well. I recall having this discussion with people before, but New York City for example for all its supposed diversity simply isn't truly diverse at all - everyone lives in a community with "their people", not with one another.

I wonder if this segregation impacts how people approach government's intervention into various aspects of their lives. In integrated cities, people know one another and view each other as individuals, and feel that they all already have equal opportunities to succeed in life - it doesn't matter if you're black or white, Latino or Asian, it's about what you put into it (coupled with a fair amount of luck). In segregated cities, people view each other far more in a "group" context, and think that government intervention is the key to equal opportunity (or outcomes, anyway). Ironically, it is specifically those areas which pursue interventionist policies that end up segregating themselves further as those policies often keep people exactly where they are, whereas without such policies people are more likely to move and seek out better opportunities rather than stay to pick up various benefits.

EZ Reads 3/29/11

2011-03-29T15:17:00.000-04:00

An incredible back and forth of letters to the editor in the 1890s Jewish Standard on head coverings for women. (On The Main Line) It's pretty funny to see much of the same back and forth as 120 years later, though with the caveat that it seemed completely accepted then that within the walls of one's own home a woman does not need to cover her hair. While I know some people now who do this, for the most part people don't seem to know about it. It's worth reading the whole back and forth, it's quite entertaining.
LYING IS BAD. (And destroys lives.) Just thought y'all should know that. Some halachos of it are here. (Hirhurim)
Really good sound/music video for JudaBlue's song Falling, which is about David vs. Goliath. (RafiG)
Public school math doesn't teach kids how to reason. (Freakonomics) I don't understand how you can teach math without logic and reason - it's just horrible education.
Jameel with a cool and crazy video of a blackout sandstorm in Kuwait; he compares it to the 9th plague. (Muqata)
Shira Dicker with an interesting essay (hat tip: ED) entitled Why I Am A Conservative Jew; the most interesting is what she decries, which is the "graduation" of many to (mostly Modern) Orthodoxy or the shift away from Judaism by most. This is part of what I'll be discussing when continuing the series on the future of Judaism.
ProfK on Minhag and Mishagas when it comes to making Pesach. Nice quote:
Personally, I think all the varying customs, both group and individual, are interesting. To me many of them speak of family life and lore being recreated many generations down the road since those customs sprung up. Telling me that I don't have to do something just because my great grandmother did it misses the point entirely. Isn't it wonderful that I actually know what my great grandmother did and that I can connect to her through doing the same thing.

EZ Reads 3/28/11

2011-03-28T21:55:00.001-04:00

Woah, March is almost over?! It's been a busy month. Real writing will hopefully resume tomorrow... meanwhile here's some good reads from the past few days:

I finally watched the amazing interview of 12-year old Tamar Fogel. It's mind-boggling how mature she is.
The biggest buyers of Gemaros (Talmuds) worldwide are far and away...South Korean!?
How perfectionism can lead to procrastination (and what to do about it). Who knew!?
Justice and humanity and twisted irony - a Palestinian Arab attacks soldiers, and they stop him after he injures one... then fly the attacker and victim together to get treatment.
R' Gil discusses how the Orthodox world mirrors the Evangelical Christian one in terms of divides, and questions what to learn from it.
For all those who love sociology, the claims of a sociologist may impact one of the largest potential class actions in history. It's actually interesting, but I would think that even if it can be proven it shouldn't therefore make them guilty - I don't see how unconscious bias of the whole population would be fair to sue over. There would be no end to it.

Memorial Service for Professor Budick

2011-03-28T00:24:00.001-04:00

Lander Men and Women's division alumni - if you can attend it would be greatly appreciated.

EZ Reads 3/25/11

2011-03-25T14:13:00.002-04:00

Yesterday, Elianna turned five years old. That's pretty crazy.

An amazing video by the Jewish Federations of North America as part of their Passover fundraising. Two minutes will bring a tear (or more) to your eye. (Also, Vervel, doesn't she look like your eldest a bit?)
Searching for Bright Light discusses the 6:30am phone call from her son studying in Israel saying he's all right and how she reacted. A few hours later my sister tells us rockets hit a town over from them, and they live in Central Israel. Pretty crazy what we put up with as a people.
The NFL has an awesome 6-minute video highlighting the 2010 season.
Orthonomics hosts KoaB for part III of how to shop for Pesach on a budget.
A really interesting story written by a Cornell student turned Israeli basketball player in Sports Illustrated. (via Josh)
In order to be cleared or get an exemption from the army, you first have to go through the daylong army placement system. This process, which makes a trip to the DMV look like a day at Disneyland, was a nightmare. First, I was interviewed. Among other things, they prodded me about my family history and asked me to read and write in Hebrew (which I hadn't done since I was Bar Mitzvahed at age 13). My interviewer then really caught my attention by asking me to whom I would like to give my pension if I die in battle. I was then given a physical, where I scored a 93 (out of 100) on the army's official medical exam. This meant I could choose any division of the army I wish to participate in (this is considered a huge honor for most Israelis). After a computer aptitude test, the two basketball team managers accompanying me saved me from near enlistment. If it wasn't for them and their somewhat pushy tactics (Israelis have a knack for making every conversation seem like an argument), I could have easily been drafted right then and there.
If you haven't yet seen The Thin Jew Line (a daily show sketch on an eruv battle in the Hamptons), watch it. It's freaking hilarious.
Via Freakonomics, Joel Rose has left the New York Department of Education and is trying to take the School of One to scale. If he can do this, it would be quite something for education in general.
Harry is not lamenting the co-opting of chazzanus by the Conservative.

Have a great Shabbos!