SerandEz & Friends: July 2008

Thursday, July 31, 2008

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Wednesday, July 30, 2008

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Tuesday, July 29, 2008

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Monday, July 28, 2008

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Sunday, July 27, 2008

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Accountant Poetry: Surprise For Real This Time

Saturday, July 26, 2008

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Friday, July 25, 2008

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Obama's Western Wall Prayer - Published

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Why I <3 The WSJ

...because they use their brains and common sense. Check out these pieces:

Batman & Bush:
Leftists frequently complain that right-wing morality is simplistic. Morality is relative, they say; nuanced, complex. They're wrong, of course, even on their own terms.
Economics as Metaphor:
Although markets are volatile and segments of the country are having a hard time, the national output is up, not down, this year. How has the economy pulled this off? Is there something the pessimists were missing? ... What's excessive now is fear, not debt: Fears of insolvency and private-sector indebtedness are misplaced and harmful. They place obstacles in the way of ill-used capital that seeks to move toward safer and more profitable employment. They plunge the stock market into turbulence. They push government into hasty actions that intrude more aggressively into private choices and decisions. They undercut the market-price system, without which the economy cannot allocate resources productively. Last but not least, these fears trigger the proverbial false alarm in a crowded theater, sending everyone stampeding for the exits. ... We are not a nation of whiners, but we do have a lot of alarmists. It is becoming politically incorrect to suggest that the economy is basically sound. ... Failure to recognize this endangers the mental health of our society. We create a far bigger tragedy when we lose heart, change the rules of the game, or act recklessly with quick fixes.
Dumb Minimum Wage Increase:
Only 15% of employees making the minimum wage are single earners with dependents. "A minimum wage increase today is a middle-class family entitlement," says EPI Executive Director Rick Berman, "because that's who's working at the minimum wage in second and third jobs." Repeated studies have shown that minimum-wage increases are more likely to slow job creation than reduce poverty. A large share of the costs of these mandates are borne by the same low-income families the wage hike is supposed to help. Employers inevitably pass wage increases onto consumers as higher prices for goods and services, which erodes the spending power of all consumers but especially the poor.
Baghdad, Berlin, Barack:
"But in the darkest hour," said Sen. Obama, "the people of Berlin kept the flame of hope burning. The people of Berlin refused to give up. And on one fall day, hundreds of thousands of Berliners came here, to the Tiergarten, and heard the city's mayor implore the world not to give up on freedom. 'There is only one possibility,' he said. 'For us to stand together united until this battle is won…. The people of Berlin have spoken. We have done our duty, and we will keep on doing our duty'." This, from a U.S. Senator whose consistent message to the people of Baghdad, a similarly besieged city, also dependent on America's protection, has been, in effect, to give up.

Mr. Obama reiterated this view earlier in the week while traveling in the Middle East, in an interview with ABC's Terry Moran. Mr. Moran asked the Illinois Democrat whether -- "knowing what you know now" -- he would reconsider his opposition to last year's surge of U.S. troops in Iraq. "Well, no," Mr. Obama replied.

What Mr. Obama "knows now" is that the surge he opposed has saved Iraq, much as Harry Truman's airlift saved Berlin and underlined America's intention to defend Europe throughout the Cold War. The surge has also saved American lives in Iraq, with combat-related deaths (so far, there have been seven this month) at an all time low.

Excerpts on expand; they're all 2-minute reads, check them out.

Thursday, July 24, 2008

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The Kollel Life

Oy. Wolf gives a fantastic response to the following letter, which appears in the Yated, regarding the salaries of wives in Lakewood.

Dear Editor,

I must say that the salaries that women receive in the city where I live - Lakewood, New Jersey - are pitiful. It is a disgrace that they get little more than $10 an hour. I am not sure what the situation is like in other places such as Brooklyn, Monsey and the Five Towns, but in this city, where so many upstanding people are struggling financially, it is simply disgraceful that our wives can't find jobs that pay decently.

Some people now highly regret that their wives, when they were single, didn't get some sort of degree to enable them to get jobs that pay decently. I don't want to get into a whole discussion about whether a girl should or shouldn't get a degree, because that really isn't the point here. The point is that, in a city where the concept of "hashkafaToraso umnaso" can be applied to so many people, the fact that wives can't earn a half-decent salary to keep their families afloat is a serious problem that has not been discussed sufficiently. In most cases, even where the husband is the primary breadwinner, the family needs the mother to earn a decent salary to help cover ever-growing expenses.

In Lakewood, apparently, $10 an hour is supposed to cut it.

$10 an hour is what you give the guy off the street who you hire to clean your backyard.

$10 an hour is what you give Maria, your cleaning lady, for scrubbing your floors.

Because of the large number of young (and not-so-young) married wives who need jobs, storeowners and business owners can - and do - dictate how much they will pay their employees. And let me tell you, they are taking full advantage of the situtation. I know of two companies that are seriously contemplating moving to Lakewood for one reason only - cheap labor.

Not Mexican cheap labor.

The cheap labor of our neshei chayil, who can be hired for "bubkis."

It's a shandeh.

Eli Parkowitz

As Wolf responded, salaries are given based on value. A person with little formal training trying to get a job where numerous other people would be willing and able to get the same job will demand lower pay - period. It is not the responsibility of businesses to pay someone more than they are worth and cost themselves money to support the employee. If a person wants to earn more money, they should get more training, a better degree, both spouses should work, or something along those lines. If a community has established itself with certain characteristics, mainly that there are numerous young women available to work for very little due to lack of education, skills, training, and the like - and they are willing to accept jobs because they either need the money or want to work (get out of the house, etc.), that will result in smart businesses utilizing that situation to their advantage. This is not a shandeh, but reality.

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The Perfect

Wednesday, July 23, 2008

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Holy Hyrax - American!

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Who Knows Their Money

Tuesday, July 22, 2008

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Sometimes We Need to Cry...

Another attack. The text message I received said 12 injured, one seriously. Another news source said 16. (i'm sure there will be at least 3 comments correcting this fact).

As I put my phone back on the passenger seat of my car, something caught my ear. I turned up my fake '3 weeks' music - "Umacha Hashem dima’ah meial kol panim" ("may Hashem wipe away the tears from every face").

Yeh, sounds about right...

In December 2001, the Aish.com featured article really moved me. It was written by Chezi Goldberg, hours after the triple bombing in Ben Yehuda. Maybe it gave me some inspiration, or clarity, or maybe it was hope. But every few weeks I would go back and re-read the article. (7 years later, I still do.) Two years after he wrote the article, Rabbi Goldberg was killed in a terrorist attack.

I walked into work this morning, and my co-worker asked me how I was. I shrugged and said I was fine. I now shrug to myself. Am I 'fine'?

I hope that posting the article below will provide something to at least one person out there....

IF YOU DON'T CRY, WHO WILL?

7:30 a.m. Israel time, Sunday December 2, 2001. Eight Hours after the triple-terror attack on Jerusalem's popular Ben Yehudah pedestrian mall.
He walked into shul. I nodded my acknowledgment like I always do. He made some strange gesture, which I couldn't understand. I went on with the business of the prayer service.
A few minutes later, he walked over to me and said, "Didn't you hear?"
"Hear about what?"
"Didn't you HEAR?"
I understood that he was talking about last night's terror attack on Ben Yehudah Mall.
I assumed that he obviously intended that someone we knew was hurt or killed.
"About who?"
He looked at me as if I had landed from another planet. "About who? About everyone who was attacked last night."
I nodded, "Yes, I heard."
"Then why aren't you crying?"
His words shot through me like a spear piercing my heart. Our Sages teach that "words that come from the heart enter the heart." He was right. Why wasn't I crying?
I could not answer. I had nothing to say.
He pointed around the shul. "Why aren't all my friends crying?"
I could not answer. I had nothing to say.
"Shouldn't we all be crying?"
He was right. What has happened to all of us? -- myself included. We have turned to stone. Some would call it numbness. Some would call it collective national shock. Some would say that we all have suffered never-ending trauma and it has affected our senses.
The excuses are worthless. All the reasons in the world don't justify our distance from the pain that is burning in our midst.
When an attack happens, in the heat of the moment, we frantically check to see if someone we know has been hurt or killed. And then, if we find out that "our friends and family are safe," we breathe a deep sigh of relief, grunt and grumble about the latest tragic event and then, continue with our robotic motions and go on with our lives.
We have not lost our minds, my friends. We have lost our hearts.
And that is why we keep on losing our lives.
IF NOT ME, WHO?
When I left the shul, my friend said to me with tears dripping from his bloodshot eyes, "I heard that the Torah teaches that for every tear that drops from our eyes, another drop of blood is saved."
We are living in a time of absolute madness. And yet, we detach ourselves and keep running on automatic in our daily lives.
Last night, 10 people were killed and nearly 200 were injured. Even MSNBC referred to the triple terror attack as a "slaughter."
And still, we are not crying.
Perhaps my friends, we are foolish to believe that the nations of the world should be upset about the continuous murder and slaughter of Jews -- if we ourselves are not crying about it. Am I not my brother's keeper?
The most effective way for us to stop the carnage in our midst is to wake up and to react to it from our hearts. How can we demand that God stop the tragedy, when most of us react like robots when tragedy strikes?
If we don't cry about what is happening around us, who will?
If you don't cry about what is happening around us, who will?
If I don't cry about what is happening to us, who will?
Maybe our salvation from this horrific mess will come only after we tune into our emotions and cry and scream about it.

NUMB TO THE PAIN
My friend walked into shul this morning and from the looks on his friends' faces, he could not tell that they had heard what had happened on Ben Yehudah Mall.
When our enemies pound us and we fail to react because we no longer feel the pain, we are truly in a precarious position in the battle to survive.
I know a woman who has no sensitivity in her fingers. When she approaches fire, she doesn't feel the pain. That puts her in a dangerous position because she might be getting burnt and not know it, because her senses don't feel it.
If we are being hurt and we don't feel it, then we are in a very risky position. A devastating 3-pronged suicide attack on Jerusalem's most popular thoroughfare should evoke a cry of pain and suffering from all of us, should it not? Unless of course, we have lost our senses.
And if we have lost our senses, then what hope is there?
I turn on the news to hear of more carnage in Haifa. Sixteen dead. Sixteen of my brothers and sisters.
King Solomon said, "There is a time for everything." Now is the time for crying.
May God protect each and every one of us from our enemies so that we will not have to cry in the future.

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What About ALL Of Us?!

Monday, July 21, 2008

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Jailhouse Rock

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Well Waddaya Know XVIII

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First International J-Blogger Convention

Sunday, July 20, 2008

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YU Forces Out Professor

Friday, July 18, 2008

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What Happens When I'm Alone In The Kitchen

Thursday, July 17, 2008

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BeyondBT/SerandEz Shabbaton - Details

Mark Frankel has posted some details about the Shabbaton at the end of a very good post about "Appreciating Our Differences Together". Toward the end:

At the two past Shabbatons we gave everybody the opportunity to speak for a maximum of 10 minutes. In Passaic, somebody commented that this was a brave thing to do given that we hadn’t heard the people speak before- how would we know if they would be good? As it turned out all the speeches were good. Why? Because everybody shared a little about themselves. Not necessarily their “story”, but something personal, something unique, something that let us understand and appreciate them a little better. ...

Some people have asked why we’re doing this Shabbaton jointly with Serandez. The main reason is that participants in both communities* share the common focus of discussing important topics, improving ourselves and improving our communities. That’s the tie that binds and those are the ties we need to continuously strengthen. ...

With that being said, here are some details about the BeyondBT/Serandez Shabbaton:
The Shabbaton is being held on Shabbos Nachamu, August 15-16 in Kew Gardens Hills, with the meals being held at Congregation Ahavas Yisroel.
The cost of the Shabbos is $50 per person for 3 catered meals, an Oneg Shabbos and a Melava Malka.
Family discounts and special situation discounts are available.
We will find accommodations for those who live outside of Kew Gardens Hills.
Please RSVP us with your email and cell phone at beyondbt@gmail.com if you are hoping or planning to come so we can plan appropriately. Also email us with any suggestions.

* - "FFB" and "BT".

I really think that a lot of the readers of this blog will get a lot out of coming to this Shabbaton. We wouldn't be a part of it if we hadn't enjoyed it two years ago or if we didn't think we'd gain from it this time as well, and I wouldn't be pitching it here if I didn't think many of you would, too. Whether you live in Kew Gardens Hills and want to join in (y'all know who you are!) or want to come and join us all for Shabbos, we'd love to see you there. I know a lot of you are on the fence about it - come. You'll enjoy it - from the food to the speakers to most importantly, the company.

I'm even considering speaking (!!), which should give you enough to laugh at to last for quite a while, and of course, Elianna & Kayla will be there, too! E-mail Mark or David at beyondbt@gmail.com or myself at serandez@gmail.com for more information and to sign up.

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The Adventures of Super Baby: Cockroach Repellent

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You Know....

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Somebody Call NBC...

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Orders from Ezzie

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Pain

Wednesday, July 16, 2008

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Feel Like Crying?...

Tuesday, July 15, 2008

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The Price of Marriage

Long post ahead for everyone bored at work....

They say marriage isn't simple. It may be simple for guys, but us women over here go through a lot to change our names! I had a slight idea of what was needed. A marriage license? Is that the same as a certificate? Social Security, DMV....

(disclaimer: each state has different processes for marriage licenses, certificates, name changes, etc. this is just what I went through)

To begin with, you need to obtain a marriage license. This is your "permit" to get married. The law in most states is that you need to apply for a marriage license EITHER in the town that your wedding takes place, OR in the town of the Bride's residence. You both need to be present, and you need to bring your passport.

Well, I had moved back home until the wedding, and my husband wouldn't be in town on any days that we could go to City Hall (coming in town for a Shabbos didn't leave any work days), and our wedding was in a location we wouldn't be at until the wedding.

We weren't so sure how this worked, but on one trip to [current town of residence] we almost headed downtown to 'get married' - which doesn't work how we thought it did. We thought we could just get married that day. But we ended up skipping it because then we weren't sure what would happen with our taxes, health insurance, etc. until the wedding.

So of course, we waited until we were married nearly 3 months.

You can't just go downtown and get a paper signed that says you're married (well, if you have an appt with a judge, etc etc you can). First you go down to city hall and fill out paperwork -which includes your parent's SSNs and place of birth. You learn some interesting things filling out these forms, for example, my fathers in law's country of birth doesn't even exist anymore. It split into two countries. But which current country was the actual location??

[The Dept of Vital Records is only open until 3:40 M-F, I work until 2 and don't back it back to town until 3:40, and my husband has yeshiva at 3, so it took some time to get down there. Plus parking is impossible, but we found a lot and parked there ($7). ]

Once you fill out that paperwork, you hand it to the lady behind the counter in the ancient building, along with a drivers license, a passport, and a check or money order ($40). She then uses a typewriter and prints up a form with three signature locations.

1) Officiant or Clergy member - is it a civil or religious ceremony? (sig, name, address)

2) Witness 1 (sig, name)

3) Witness 2 (sig, name)

After you get this license, it is valid for 3 months, and you can use it at your religious or civil ceremony (even if you go down/up to Atlantic City you need a license).

So we head down to yeshiva and ask the Rosh if he can sign the paper. I wait in the car just in case I'm needed. I am. So I head into the building, and we grab two yeshiva guys from the hallway. The Rosh tells us that the State doesn't recognize our chassunah as a valid ceremony since we didn't have our license yet (yeh, we understood that) So, he preforms another wedding, with the two bochurim acting as witnesses and aidim (which i know are the same thing, but technically here they weren't). I even got a new ring out of the deal. Then the Rosh and two guys sign the license (in black pen only), and we stick it in an envelope and send it back to City Hall.

But then you need to go downtown to pick up the Marriage Certificate. Meanwhile, we weren't sure if we were legally "married' yet or not without the certificate. But again, Dept of Vital Records is only open until 3:40... Plus, the SSA office is a few blocks away, (open til 4), and I wanted to get both things done at the same time. Parking downtown is a big pain, most spots near the buildings are 15 min parking, or Permit Only (government ppl) and the meter maids stalk the meters. Many cars have orange tickets on their windows...

So I decided to drop my husband off at Yeshiva on Tuesday so I could run downtown and take care of everything. Of course we got a late start, and I left yeshiva around 3:15, but decided to go for it anyway. That morning at work, i printed out all of the forms I would need (available online) and filled them out a head of time.

I drove downtown, tried 2 diff parking spots with unclear "parking/no parking" signs, and finally got a 30 min spot right across from City Hall at 3:20 ($0.50). I ran inside (literally), and filled out the request form. Luckily there was no line, so i went up to the counter with my passport and license and another check. Each marriage certificate costs $20, but if you take more than one at a time, its $20 for the first, and $15 each additional. I took two copies, so that I would have one to send off to the Passport people. ($35).

Then I walked across the street to where I thought I saw the SSA building on a previous trip. I was wrong, so I quickly walked back to the car. I found the correct building (further than I thought) and actually found parking close by! ($0.50). (3:45 p.m.)

The building was a Federal bldg, so when I entered I had to go through security, I felt like I was back in Israel. I took the elevator up to SSA and walked into a huge room with about 2 other people waiting and a few "tellers" open. I took a number and was called right away. I walked up to the counter and handed her my marriage certificate, completed name change form, license, and passport. I learned the lingo by this point, I was applying for a "name change due to marriage". Within minutes, she had printed out my receipt and told me I would receive my new card within a few weeks. (FREE) I asked if I had to wait for the new SS card and bring it to the DMV but she said as long as it was after 24 hours, I didn't need it.

I was out of there by 4:00. While I waited in the car to pick up my husband from Yeshiva I called all of my credit card, insurance, etc companies to notify them of my name change, and request any necessary paperwork that needed to be completed.

Now I needed to change my drivers license and passport. The DMV here is open until 3:30.

Thursday I was off work because of July 4th weekend (and we don't work Fridays in the summer), so I decided to take care of everything then, since it was all closed on Friday due to the holiday. I had to be somewhere by 3:15, so I decided to leave my house no later than 11. That left an hour for passport pics, an hour at the dmv, and an hour to get to the post office and send in the application (that's how my mind works, i think too much ahead, and my day is split up into hours instead of 15 min increments or anything else).

I got to CVS just before 11 to take new passport pictures, which of course the passport agency had issues with because they were partially yellow in the background. ($9)

Then I went to the DMV. Which wasn't listed in my GPS, so I called a friend of my husband who had a local license to find out where it was.

Where I'm from, our DMV was a pretty small room... A "long" was was 30 min, and there were 2 lines - license new/renewals, and plates/registrations. The MAIN DMV office that you take your exam and road test at was a bigger building, not HUGE but still big, the main office, etc. with maybe 5 orderly lines and a room in back for exam takers.

This place was GIGANTIC!!!!!!!!!! they had a million different counters for different actions. Plates, Licenses, Exams, CDLs, Camera, Handicap Permits, and I can't even remember what else.

You walk in and "check in" at the information desk (and it's not obvious that you need to check in). The Info Guy hands you a ticket with your number.

So I go to check in and the guy asked what I was there for. Very officially I answered, "Out of state transfer with a name change due to marriage". I present my certificate, license, etc. and he asks if SSA gave me a print out with my new name and #?

I replied that no, that did not, I only received a receipt (without name and # on it) and they told me as long as it was after 24 hours I was fine to go to the DMV.

But this wasn't "fine" to DMV Info Guy, so he sent me (on foot, specifically) about 8-10 blocks away to the closest SSA office, where i took #66 (they were on 58 i think) and waited on the chairs next to a bunch of legal or illegal immigrants without their proper paperwork.

Finally I got my little paper - which wasn't even a print out - it was hand written!!! -- And walked back to the DMV. I checked in with Mr Info Guy again, and he handed me my ticket with my # on it.

Here, the tickets worked differently. You were assigned a letter as well as number.

A B C D E or F followed by ###. Then you sit (or stand, as there was no room) and wait.

Apparently F stood for thing, A's were written exams, C's might have been CDLs, etc. B was license renewals (including "out of state transfers with name changes due to marriage").

I was B179. But they don't call B100 then B101, then B102... instead D and B (maybe other letters too) shared a few counters. So they would call out C242, D453, B165, F243, D454 .... you have no way of knowing how long its gonna take! For an hour no B's were called, and the last B was B155 or something.

I was there for 2 hours.

I finally get called after some D's and F's and it went quickly from there. I handed in my old license, marriage cert, SSA 'print' out, proof of current address, and check ($31.50). Then he directed me over to the camera lady, where I wanted briefly until she called my name.

Unfortunately, i didn't get to keep my old license :( sniffle. They gave me a temporary license, a computer printout with a pic.

Of course, instead of expiring in 5 years or whatever the usual expiration date is on a 21+ license, it expires same time as my old license since that one hadn't expired yet - 9/5/2009 - that means in a year i have to deal with going back to the DMV and renewing! I hope its a different city at least!!

I left at 1:30 and drove to the post office to deal with my passport.

I had already filled out paperwork and printed it out, but I wasn't sure about attaching the pictures and if I should send it express mail since the next day was a legal holiday anyway, but on the application for expedited service it instructs the applicant to send it express, to a 2nd address for expedited service.

Regular applications/renewal have an expected 6 week wait period, but there has been a backup with all of the new travel laws, so I wanted to use the expedited service, which was an expected 3 week wait. ($149.85)

After waiting at an empty counter forever the lady shows up and criticizes CVSs bad photography skills (or lack there-of) but says we will try it and see if they accept the pictures. She stuck the pictures in a little jacket made for passport applications (and not included online!) and said to mail it Priority ($4.80) instead of Express, since they wouldn't work on it until Monday anyway, and address the application to the main address since it wasn't being sent by Express mail, but to purchase delivery confirmation since it contained my passport, etc. ($0.75)

Then she sealed the application, pictures, old passport, check, and marriage certificate in a Priority Mail envelope, and stamped it.

When it came time to pay, i used a credit card. She looked at the back of my card and asked to see my ID "since the signature is worn off."

I said "uhhh, well... i have this temporary ID from the DMV, but it has the NEW last name, and my only other piece of ID with my old last name is my passport which you just sealed in that Priority Mail envelope... "

She laughed, and let it slide (especially since she just saw my passport), but it was pretty ironic...

Wednesday I received an express mail envelope and got worried that my passport was returned to me because of the pictures, or it was sent to the wrong address, or I didn't really exist....

But inside was my brand new passport!!!! They have Mon/Tues to work on it, and it had to have been mailed (express obviously) by Tues to arrive on Wednesday! I guess the $150 was worth it.

About $300 later, I'm officially a married woman with a new last name.

I have no idea how everyone does this - especially those that get married and move to Israel right away.

(for Serandez:)

Hours Spent: 40*
Money Spent: $300
Being Married: Priceless.

*i dont know if it was 40 - serandez made that up.

Monday, July 14, 2008

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A List Letterman Won't Be Doing Anytime Soon

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Ugly In Print...

...isn't it? Yet, as best as I can tell, everything contained in The Wall Street Journal article below is true.

Then again, would expect anything less on this topic from an Old Gray Lady?**rimshot** - thank you, thank you...I'll be here all week...

HOUSES OF WORSHIP

Single Jewish Female Seeks Stress Relief
By TAMAR SNYDER
July 11, 2008; Page W11

People often compare dating to interviewing for a job. In the Orthodox Jewish world, this notion is taken almost literally.

Upon returning from post-high-school studies in Israel, young Orthodox women (such as myself) meet with recruiters, commonly known as shadchanim (matchmakers). After determining whether the young woman wishes to marry a "learner" (a man studying full time in yeshiva), an "earner" (a professional) or a combination of the two, the shadchan collects the prospective bride's "shidduch résumé," detailing everything from education and career plans to dress size, height, parents' occupations and synagogue memberships. The shadchan then approaches a suitable single man or, most likely, his parents -- who add the woman to their son's typically lengthy "list."

Before agreeing to a noncommittal first date, the man's parents begin a thorough background check that puts government security clearance to shame. Phoning references isn't enough -- of course they'll say good things -- so they cold-call other acquaintances of the potential bride, from camp counselors to college roommates. The questions they ask often border on the superficial: "Does she own a Netflix account?"; "Does she wear open-toed shoes?" (The correct response may vary depending on how Orthodox a woman the man is looking for.)

Just as the economy is headed to recession, the shidduch system is in crisis mode. Or so the rabbis moan, noting the surplus of women eager to marry and the corresponding shortfall in the quality and quantity of available Jewish men. It's not that there are more Orthodox women than men out there; experts instead attribute the shortage to the broader sociological trend of postponing marriage, which works to the disadvantage of women looking for spouses their own age or just a few years older. Men who are 30 will date women as young as 18 and may turn their noses up at dating any woman past the age of 25. The 20% or 30% of women who don't get hitched right away begin to worry they'll be left out in the cold for good.

Sensing this shift of power, mothers of sons who remain in the matchmaking system increase their demands: Any prospective daughter-in-law must be a size two, or a "learner" son must be supported indefinitely by the girl's parents. For men, "it's a buyer's market," says Michael Salamon, a psychologist and author of "The Shidduch Crisis: Causes and Cures" (2008). "And the pressures of dating are creating all kinds of social problems, such as eating disorders and anxiety disorders. It's frightening."

I used to shrug off this talk. Genocide in Darfur is a crisis; being single at 23 is not. But the communal pressure is hard to ignore. Orthodox Judaism, like most traditional faiths, is geared to families; singles lack a definitive role.

Then there's what social worker Shaya Ostrov calls the "popcorn effect." During the first two to three years following high-school graduation, 70% to 80% of Orthodox women get married; weddings then peter off.
"The system works for a very limited period of time," says Mr. Ostrov, the author of "The Inner Circle: Seven Gates to Marriage." Friends of mine compare dating to musical chairs; nobody wants to end up an "old maid," and so they get engaged, hoping doubts will prove unfounded. "Young women," notes Sylvia Barack Fishman, professor of contemporary Jewish life at Brandeis University, "are often made to feel that they are damaged goods if they have not married -- and married well -- by their early 20s."

Part of the problem is the increased number of "serial daters" who, as Ms. Fishman says, are "shopping for perfection." When Mr. Ostrov runs workshops, he asks male participants in their early 30s how many girls they have dated. "One hundred seventy-five is not an unusual number," he says. "Dating" in these cases usually ends after just one or two meetings with each girl.

Many men admit that their refusal to commit themselves to a woman stems from fear of making a mistake. The only thing worse than being an "older single" male, it seems, is being a 25-year-old divorcé with two children. It is women, though, who are usually more stigmatized by a split. Indeed, one big problem in the Orthodox community is the "Post-Shidduch Crisis."

"We're seeing more and more recently married, young Orthodox Jews getting divorced," says Mr. Salamon, who estimates that the divorce rate among the Orthodox has risen to an alarming 30% in the past five to 10 years. (Hard data are difficult to come by, Mr. Salamon says, because the Orthodox shun research studies for fear of harming their own or their children's shidduchim.)

The core of the problem is that young marrieds don't know how to accommodate each other, says Mr. Salamon. And singles need to start asking the right questions. "Family history has nothing to do with whether you'll make a good husband or wife," he says. The rigid, interview-style questioning is only wreaking havoc: "They're looking for some sort of guarantee. But who can guarantee happiness?"

As I have said before, much of this should be attributed more to how people have been using The System recently than to The System itself.
The more and more that I hear of what goes on frequently in this process I fear that, as a group, we are becoming that most horrible of all things...we are becoming (in my humble, unwarranted, flawed and most probably self defining opinion) a nation of hypocrites.
A phalanx of "do as we say but not as we do" soldiers. Who keep to the Godly ideals when it suits us but as soon as the stakes are raised begin playing the odds better than the most accomplished Vegas card-sharp and working the angles with the tenacity and unapologetic passions of a polished Washington politician.

This is what we (those who live in the shadow of The System) have turned into, facts are facts...one only wonders what we will become going forward.

Sunday, July 13, 2008

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Well Waddaya Know XVII

Thursday, July 10, 2008

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BeyondBT/SerandEz Shabbaton

Wednesday, July 09, 2008

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Charedi Community: The Good & The Bad

The following slew of posts pretty much sums up both the good and the bad of today's religious community, particularly in the Yeshivish/Charedi world.

On the one hand, there is Chana's excellent post which essentially tries to describe the Charedi philosophy and notes its positives - an admittedly difficult but mature recognition for Chana considering her past, negative experiences.

On the other, there is the difficulty of balancing theory and practice. Chaim has a post today decrying the fall from the Rabbonim of the last generation to the ones of this generation, in discussing the 90-minute delay of an El-Al flight for the sake of a Rebbe [who apparently sat down and stated "every delay is for the best"]. Wolf has an open letter he either wrote or would like to write to his son's camp Rebbe who told the class that anyone who intermarries will burn in Gehinnom (hell) forever. He had a post last week noting a brochure given in the Bais Ya'acov system in Israel touting exactly the opposite of the post below this, calling chumrahs about riding separately on buses "halacha".

One of the most interesting aspects of this is the commentary some people have on these stories and others. Some of the commenters on VIN about the Rebbe delaying the flight say that the flight only travelled safely because the Rebbe was on it, or that it would have crashed if not for the delay, etc. A friend told me this morning that a friend she went to seminary with felt that the terror attack last week was because of the light rail the city is trying to build (Jerusalem is too holy for such a thing). [Note: The attack started from a construction site that is for the sake of the light rail.]

It is becomingly increasingly difficult to shrug off such actions and opinions as atypical and coming from extremists. More and more often, we see complete abuses of power, disregard for people's incomes, rather off the wall opinions and explanations of events, and ridiculous theories and twisting of stories to fit them into a specific worldview. As my friend said to me this morning, "It's things like that [the light rail comment] that keep me from embracing charedi ideals - I am just really turned off a lot by a lot of the attitude." When I noted that I know plenty who are not like that, as I added "but they seem to be in the minority, and that scares me", my friend said simultaneously "but they seem to be the exception."

It is scary. The problem is not the Charedi outlook per se, but the practice of it - the question is whether this distorted practice is an outgrowth of the outlook and education or not. More importantly, if it is, what can be done about it, and if not, where is the disconnect and what can be done about it.

Oy.

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Not On Each Other's Backs

An excellent post at BeyondBT, putting chumrahs in perspective:

A couple of weeks ago in my Gemorah shiur we got into an aside about Chumras. The Rabbe mentioned that he had once been approached by a gentleman who was asking for Tzedeka to help him buy a set of Tefillin for his grandson. As the discussion unfolded it turned out that this grandfather was seeking assistance in buying a $1500 set of Tefillin! The Rebbe, originally inclined to assist, declined to contribute. He said that it’s one thing to help with a mitzvah, but this gentleman should not be asking others to support his chumra.

A couple of months ago, a friend of mine shared a D’var Torah with me at a Shalom Zachor. It was around Parshat Vayakel. He started by posing the question, “What was the difference between the Keilim (vessels) that were in the Beit Hamikdash vs those in the Mishkan”? The answer is that in the Mishkan there was only one of each vessel and they were smaller than the ones in the Beit Hamikdash. This was so in spite of the fact that the B’nei Yisrael offered Moshe enough to have larger and multiple vessels in the Mishkan. In fact the B’nai Yisrael were offering so much of their possessions that Moshe had to tell them to stop. Why did he stop them? Surely, he knew that their destiny was to build a Temple large enough to accommodate whatever they wanted give. The answer given was that since the Mishkan was portable and carried by men, Moshe did not want the B’nai Yisrael to think that they could satisfy their desire to do extra (be Machmir) on their brothers’ backs.

We've discussed this concept here before, not just in terms of chumrahs, but any personal choice that places a burden on the community. One is allowed to take on any lifestyle or choice for themselves, so long as that does not cause a burden to others - the other story the writer cites about his daughter sacrificing on her own standard for the sake of her grandfather is exactly how such a situation should probably be approached, and they should all be commended for it.

Tuesday, July 08, 2008

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Parsha Point to Ponder [The Working Man Chronicles]

This is my first effort to continue since I recently started working full-time, so here goes.

In an earlier post, I discussed some nuances to what is all too often portrayed as a simple debate between literalists VS. allegorists. Well, in this week's sedrah we are presented the peculiar episode of Bilaam and his donkey.

וַיָּבֹא אֱלֹהִים אֶל-בִּלְעָם, לַיְלָה, וַיֹּאמֶר לוֹ אִם-לִקְרֹא לְךָ בָּאוּ הָאֲנָשִׁים, קוּם לֵךְ אִתָּם; וְאַךְ, אֶת-הַדָּבָר אֲשֶׁר-אֲדַבֵּר אֵלֶיךָ--אֹתוֹ תַעֲשֶׂה. וַיָּקָם בִּלְעָם בַּבֹּקֶר, וַיַּחֲבֹשׁ אֶת-אֲתֹנוֹ; וַיֵּלֶךְ, עִם-שָׂרֵי מוֹאָב. וַיִּחַר-אַף אֱלֹהִים, כִּי-הוֹלֵךְ הוּא, וַיִּתְיַצֵּב מַלְאַךְ יְהוָה בַּדֶּרֶךְ, לְשָׂטָן לוֹ; וְהוּא רֹכֵב עַל-אֲתֹנוֹ, וּשְׁנֵי נְעָרָיו עִמּוֹ
[Numbers 22:20-22]

What follows is quite explicitly stated, albeit remarkable in what it says.

וַתֵּרֶא הָאָתוֹן אֶת-מַלְאַךְ יְהוָה נִצָּב בַּדֶּרֶךְ, וְחַרְבּוֹ שְׁלוּפָה בְּיָדוֹ, וַתֵּט הָאָתוֹן מִן-הַדֶּרֶךְ, וַתֵּלֶךְ בַּשָּׂדֶה; וַיַּךְ בִּלְעָם אֶת-הָאָתוֹן, לְהַטֹּתָהּ הַדָּרֶךְ
[Numbers 22:23]

Ramban comments, and I paraphrase, that, surely, this is just a metaphor for some sense of dread that fell upon the donkey. He observed that when the donkey talks it makes no mention of the angel.

וַתֹּאמֶר הָאָתוֹן אֶל-בִּלְעָם, הֲלוֹא אָנֹכִי אֲתֹנְךָ אֲשֶׁר-רָכַבְתָּ עָלַי מֵעוֹדְךָ עַד-הַיּוֹם הַזֶּה--הַהַסְכֵּן הִסְכַּנְתִּי, לַעֲשׂוֹת לְךָ כֹּה; וַיֹּאמֶר, לֹא
[Numbers 22:30]

It seems a bit odd, at first, that the Ramban, who is more often identified with the literalist position (for lack of a better term), would take an allegorical approach to the donkey seeing the angel, but a literal understanding of the donkey talking- even, as mentioned above, using the donkey's speech as a proof against its angelic vision! Why is this so?!?

Ramban explains that to see an angel requires a prophetic, or near-prophetic, spiritual level which is unattainable to an animal. [It is one thing for the sea to split and quite another for it to commune with G-D]

Faced with a text that posed difficulties with his own reasoned and well-founded understandings, the Ramban felt compelled to learn this one part allegorically. He did not advocate an unquestioning fundamentalist interpretation. Rather, once again, we see that even a more literal reading of the text requires scrutiny and nuance to achieve a more complete understanding.

[+/-]

Well Waddaya Know XVI

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For the Lipa fans out there....

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Maddening, Useful, and Fun

Monday, July 07, 2008

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It's All There

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Grace By Heart

Sunday, July 06, 2008

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A Shver Shver?

UPDATED

Remember this letter, by the extremely ungrateful supported sons-in-law? The one that caused much outrage (with good reason)? Well, apparently, it's a fake... or maybe not. Larry Lennhoff has the letter to the Yated from a regretful father-in-law claiming that he, in anger at his son-in-law, wrote the (fake) letter to make a point. However, a commenter at Baruch Pelta's blog (Orthodox Freelancers) says that there's another letter [update: here it is] claiming the follow-up is fake, since the 3rd letter writer is the one who wrote the first one. (Follow all that?)

Whether the first letter is true or not, the second is true or not, and the third letter exists or not, the second letter writer makes possibly the best point of all in questioning the Yated's publishing of the letter:

I must admit to being disturbed by the number of people who take letters in the Yated - many of them totally anonymous letters, mind you - at face value and allow themselves be carried away and be taken for rides. I have nothing against readers expressing opinions. But that is all it is: an anonymous opinion. Just because a letter is signed, “A Mental Health Professional,” or “A Teacher,” or “A Hurting Mother,” or “A Son-in-Law,” does not guarantee in any way that any such person wrote that letter.

For all any of us know, someone wrote it for the kicks, or to get people upset, or to support a cause, or for any other number of reasons. ...

You don’t know that any such person ever wrote any such letter. These letters in the Yated get quoted, posted, e-mailed, talked about, and they take on a life of their own. It becomes ‘fact’ that such and such a person said such and such a thing about such and such a topic. All this shows is how many people are gullible. It shows little else.

While I don't think it shows people are "gullible" per se (people have no choice but to place their trust somewhere, and they presume that a responsible publication vets their letters), the writer is absolutely correct about trusting such anonymous letters in general. For the same reasons that anonymous blogs and bloggers should have [and do have] a much harder time building trust, as they have little 'on the line', anonymous letter writers have even less of a reason to be trusted - or actually, none.

But the biggest fault lies at the feet of the Yated itself. A publication should never accept an anonymous letter, particularly one which is as clearly inflammatory as the original letter here was; even letters which are published anonymously should still have identities which are known to the editor. There should be no occasion for a second letter to be published claiming that the original was a fake without the publication knowing whether or not this is the case.

A friend recently discussed with me that a publication they are affiliated with was considering a section that would be made up of letters on subjects that are more difficult to discuss in public - from abuse to depression to anything else that a person might wish to write about anonymously. While finding the idea noble in thought, my friend questioned the idea, wondering if I agreed that this was a bad idea and set a horrible precedent in regard to accepting anonymous material in a publication wishing to be taken seriously. I agreed emphatically, noting that this would lead to numerous false letters and lack of responsibility for one's words, as it would allow people to hide behind this veil of anonymity to say whatever they want - true or false, right or wrong. There's a clear difference between an editors or journalists knowing the identity of a letter writer or a person being quoted and publishing their words anonymously, and a letter that is completely anonymous in its origin. The former can, if used properly, bring light to important subjects; the latter is a disservice which cheapens the very ideals it wishes to represent through its lack of credibility.

[+/-]

Haveil Havalim #172: The Old Fogey Edition

Saturday, July 05, 2008

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The (Suit)case of the "Disappearing" Shofarot

Recently, my Dad and I went overseas for almost two months to visit family, friends and get away after a truly traumatic year. Upon our return, people have been asking "What was the highlight?" and the answer I give them is that there wasn't just one highlight but, over those weeks, many memorable experiences, occasions and moments. This included catching up with relatives and friends around the world (some of whom I'd not seen in many years), meeting many new people, seeing new places, eating out, touring, shopping, relaxing and generally having a break from the pressures of home.

I was lucky enough to meet a few bloggers in LA, NY and Israel and it's great to have met some of the personalities that I, previously, only knew from my computer screen. Hope to meet more of you next time!

Now to the story of the Shofarot. We stayed in Israel for around two weeks and had an amazing time. (My brother particularly enjoyed taking us to various restaurants, mostly because it made a nice change from Yeshivah food!) During that time my Dad was determined to find a new Shofar or two that he would have ready for Elul as he is the Ba'al Tekia at our Shul during the week. Unfortunately, he was not well with a slight dose of pneumonia which was aggravated by a particularly hot, crowded and unpleasant flight from Madrid. (Despite that, my brother and I dragged him around town, to the Kotel and Tunnel tours and restaurants but, Baruch Hashem, a bit of medication fixed him.)

So, he spent two huffing and wheezing days in Meah Shearim looking for his perfect Shofarot. (I went along on one of those days.) He must have blown dozens of them - where they could be found out of season (not quite close enough to Rosh Hashanah that there was a lot of stock). He finally found two Shofarot in different shops. Mission accomplished.

Of course he decided to do the right thing and declare these religious items at customs upon returning to Australia. But we flew back via Hong Kong, where we stayed for five days. (No J-Bloggers there that I knew of!)

In Hong Kong, my Dad packed the Shofarot in bubble wrap and put them on top of the clothes in one of his suitcases. He also had a bottle of duty free whiskey in each case because of the restrictive carry-on laws.

We arrived home from Hong Kong after a 8 or so hour flight (plus the delay of three hours), at about 11.00 pm. My cousin kindly came to pick us up. The bags came off the carousel and Dad found one of his by the fine aroma of 12 year old Scotch which had smashed in the case and leaked out everywhere. (He was still smelling like a pub come Shabbos because he didn't have time to wash his tie or shirts.)

Having declared Shofarot as religious items, we were directed to the appropriate region of the airport. The bags were scanned and then taken to be opened to check said items. (Note the drug sniffing dog staggering about after sniffing the whiskey suitcase. Never knew dogs could smile like that.)

Anyway, Dad opened the case and put his hand in to take out said items where he knew he most definitely packed them in Hong Kong. They were not there. He started pulling everything out and was getting quite agitated, not so much for the monetary loss, but because he had put so much effort into finding two Shofarot that suited him and were not replaceable. I took my phone to call my cousin to say we are delayed and almost copped a $2000 fine for using a cellphone restricted area. (Which I hadn't realised was restricted. Oops.) Dad still couldn't find these Shofarot so I sigh and start rummaging around his suitcases to look for them too. Couldn't find them. By now we're convinced he's left them in Hong Kong.

The customs fellow in charge then has a go at the bag. Also finds nothing. We repack the bag and put it back through the scanner for the second time. Nothing. He tells us to go and sorry about my loss(es) including the booze as he laughs himself silly. (Must have been a slow night.)

We head to the car, happy to see my cousin but Dad is upset about the missing Shofarot. In the car on the way home he calls the hotel in Hong Kong. Try to explain to a Chinese night desk supervisor what a Shofar is over the phone. My cousin and I are in fits of laughter because Dad is waving his hands around his head trying to will the image of a Shofar into the mind of a Chinese lady back in Hong Kong by phone. Have to tell you - it doesn't work... "A Horn. It's a Horn. Like on a sheep" he is saying while making hand motions to indicate a horn "H. O. R. N. Packed in plastic bag."

So apparently the Chinese secretary gets houskeeping to check all the junk we left behind. Dad calls back 20 minutes later. All they found in our room was a bottle of shampoo... hope they enjoy it.

We arrive home. Dad is quite despondent and let down after this double blow of loss of booze and his Shofarot.

We plonk his the suitcases down in the lounge room where whiskey runoff will do the least damage. My cousin waits around with me as Dad again opens the bag that was supposed to have the Shofarot inside.

He puts in his hand... and pulls out two bubble wrapped Shofarot. Right where he said he'd put them in Hong Kong!

Go figure...

Shavua Tov!

Friday, July 04, 2008

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On This Fourth

[+/-]

Where's My Money!?

Stories like this one Pravda Ne'eman posted have always sickened me:

A recent letter to the Chareidi blog, Yeshiva World, puts this issue in stark relief. A father of two women, both teachers in Chareidi schools, bemoans their experiences in those institutions. One daughter was promised to be paid on a "per week basis" only to be told that there are only 4 weeks in every month. Essentially, she was shortchanged by a stingy Chareidi principal who believes that there are 48 weeks in the calendar year.

The other daughter was told that she would be paid for substitute teaching. When she approached the principal for payment, she was told that the private tutoring that she was conducting in the school (at the school's request, no less) used the school's utilities (electricity for the lights, apparently) and thereby offset the salary that she had been promised.

The discussion at Yeshiva World is here, and many of the commenters are adding their own stories, although there are a handful who are decrying this public criticism of the schools. I do think there is a marked difference between these cases, which are essentially evil, and schools and yeshivos which simply cannot pay. I know of places where they try their hardest to pay on time, but for whatever reason at some time are not able to do so. [Note: I am not saying this is acceptable, merely noting it is on a different level.]

But what is most troubling in most of these cases is the lack of a written contract. I cannot understand why anyone would work without a contract, nor how any truly trustworthy institution would explain why they do not give out such contracts. The only reasons I can think of that a school would not have a contract for a teacher are because they are trying to avoid taxes or because they are not going to honor the contract (whether for legitimate reasons or not).

If you are going to be a teacher of any sort, make sure to have a written, signed contract on formal school stationary. Also, if you aren't asked to fill out either a W-2 [hopefully] or 1099 [hopefully not] form, find out why. Not paying taxes is stealing, no matter what Rav or Rebbetzin is helping to run the school. Asking for documentation is not showing a lack of trust but a sense of responsibility. I am also incredibly appalled at the games some places play to get increased government funding, moving kids into classes they are not a part of (particularly in relation to Special Education classrooms) to make it appear that they have more kids in certain classes, etc. I don't understand how the principals who are responsible for this can live with themselves knowing that they are lying, deceiving, and stealing. It's simply appalling.

Thursday, July 03, 2008

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Speak English! (or pick one)

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Positivity

[+/-]

Longevity

Wednesday, July 02, 2008

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Poor Daughters of Mine

...after all, I [gasp] work.

Via Wolf, who has a good post on the subject, I read these letters to Rebbetzin Jungreis by two girls whose parents work - and how this has been a dark mark on them from schooling to shidduchim. They're almost too unreal:

In the Bais Yaakov high school I attended, extensive time was devoted to praising the merits of the kollel lifestyle. Numerous hashkafah/machshavah classes were dedicated to this cause. I can say without any exaggerations that not once during my entire high school career did any teacher say that a working lifestyle was also acceptable. In fact, teachers were exceedingly negative toward the possibility of living a life where work and Torah were combined. I always felt that a working lifestyle would best suit me, but early on, I learned that sharing my personal feelings would only place me in the bad graces of my teachers and principals.

Once, my principal accused me of doing some inappropriate things that I would never dream of doing. When I told her that I was raised differently and that my Yiddishkeit meant too much to me to ever participate in the activities she accused me of, she said that she would expect such behavior from me because I was "not a good girl" as I unfortunately "come from a working family." Even more hurtful was when I was told to "not lower myself to my father's level" by marrying a working guy even if he would devote time to Torah. This general theme unfortunately continued throughout seminary and into shidduchim. Once, when my mother spoke to one shadchan about me, he asked her, "What kind of a girl is your daughter that she does not want to marry a learning boy?"

~~~~~

As much as I had heard about these interviews, I was not prepared for the hurt that was inflicted upon me. The person who interviewed me questioned me about my parents' professions and their heavy work schedules, and then went on to make some very unkind, critical remarks which I prefer not to repeat because, a) it's too hurtful and b) it would be disrespectful to my parents. I left the interview shattered and broke down in tears. I later found out that I was not the only one who had been reduced to tears – other girls were equally mistreated and put to shame.

These stories aren't just talking about single instances. The first one is detailing an entire culture, the second the entrance exam to an apparently popular seminary. Between this pressure from one side, and the worry of being considered "subpar" on the other, it is no wonder that so many young men and women feel pressured into a specific lifestyle at the degradation of any other.

The second letter writer also makes a side point that is important:

There can be no justification for the "ona’as devarim - hurtful words" that were hurled at me. This is not the way to interview girls for a year of study in Yerushalayim. I also find it curious that those same people, who are so quick to criticize, have no problem approaching working parents for fund-raising purposes.

When G posted "YoU Are Subpar II...", we received a lot of criticism questioning our decision to publish it. A lot of it was very reasonable; a lot of it was absolutely off the wall. As noted then, one of the reasons it was felt it was important to post was that

I think it is important for people to see the opinions that those who have an influence on their children have. I don't think most people are aware of the type of thinking that is given over in places in EY, and just how pressured it is. ...

A few people have noted that it's one thing for anyone to choose on an individual level how they want to live, who they want to follow. But when it becomes a large group, it becomes a cause for serious concern.

The truth is it is not just in Israel that this happens; it starts earlier on, from hints during elementary school to strong pushes if not outright statements during high school, as noted by the first letter writer. It is important that parents be more aware of the education that their children are getting, and the messages they're being taught - and it is important that people who are giving money know where that money is going, and what messages it is being used for. If donors knew that the school they were giving money to would then turn around and criticize their lifestyle, they might be a little more hesitant in how they give out their tzedaka.

Over Shavuos, Pobody's Nerfect and I attended a community panel discussion on The High Cost of Jewish Education. The discussion was very good, and one of the suggestions included a central communal fund that would then disperse funds to individual schools. While this idea is basically a good one, one drawback that could exist in theory is a lack of direct accountability: When a school does things that are "beyond the pale" to their donors, their donors simply don't support the school anymore. An umbrella fund would allow schools to receive money even if donors would rather not be supporting that specific school. Direct donations allow a much greater give-and-take between parents and donors and the schools they are supporting and sending their children to.

One of the issues that they did not cover in the panel was why there are so many people in need of tuition breaks and the like. While they touched on the legitimate needs of many (single-parent homes, parent who lost a job, etc.), they didn't discuss either the poor management of money by so many due to lack of knowledge or caring, nor the incredible drain the increasingly large kollel world has had on the Orthodox world economically. As this cycle continues - increased shunning of the working world leading to an economic drain that is no longer able to sustain schooling - it is important that the money that is there be given to schools that will help build for the future of the Jewish community, not those that drain our resources.

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Terror Attack in Israel, Iraq, & The Israel Lobby

Tuesday, July 01, 2008

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Construction Notes

Many of you may have noticed that a lot of things on the blog are changing and moving around. Just to explain the new setup (which is still being worked on)...

The main section should remain unchanged save for cosmetic details, if that.

The right sidebar now includes a few sections. The Browse section is made up of series that I think are worth reading: How I Met Serach - which is about, well, how I met my wife, Serach, and Crazy Shabbos, which I wrote about a long time ago. We've had many more crazy - if not crazier - Shabbasos since, but this was one that was worth writing about (though I only ended up getting halfway through).

The In Rotation section is a list of just about every guest blogger to post to this blog. If they have their own blog, the first line under their name is a link to their blog, by name. The next line is a link to their Blogger profile; the following line is currently a dead link to a Bio that I will hopefully write for each. And, of course, there's a link to any post in which they are tagged - most of which are posts they have written, though a handful are simply posts that have to do with them for some reason or other.

Following that are links to all the Archives, by year and month, and a small blurb that shows what time Shabbos starts and ends here in Kew Gardens Hills, so I don't have to look it up every week.

On the left sidebar are any polls or other pieces which I wish to post for any reason. Right under that is the About This Site, which I think I've tried to leave the same since this blog's inception over three years ago. This is followed by the all important advertisements and links to allow people to advertise which helps me justify the time spent on the blog to Serach and the always interesting SiteMeter (hit the referrals on a typical day and you'll see what I mean). Next come the slightly confusing looking Departments symbols, which are simply a way of letting you look at what labels there are and picking one to read. The first symbol gives a list of all the labels and how many posts there are under each; the second creates a simple dropdown; and the third shows them as bigger if they have more posts, smaller if they have less.

Finally, there's the all important Blogroll, which lists the blogs I tend to read by section. I'll probably go through all of them at some point, but note that the list is not yet complete: I still haven't put in any of the Israeli blogs, the Jews & Israel group, the PsychoToddler franchise, all the Uncategorizeds and Others, all the Retired bloggers, etc., etc. Underneath all of that are a few random blog-related things, such as a survey you can take that measures different demographics of the readership of this blog.

At some point, we're hoping to revamp and update the header with some cool new features; meanwhile, I hope y'all are enjoying and maybe even getting something out of the blog - I certainly am from both the blog and all of you.

~ Ezzie

[+/-]

Baseball & Excel

97% of y'all will probably want to stop reading... here.

For my job, it often comes in handy to have certain skills with Microsoft Excel. Excel is quite possibly the least utilized program that exists; a good understanding of Excel and its functions can make life incredibly simpler, particularly in most businesses, and for anyone who tries to budget their money. A friend of mine from Cleveland actually designed what is essentially an ugly but advanced version of Quicken, and it didn't take him all that long, using Excel; I learned how to utilize pivot tables, "vlookups", and the "indirect" functions and used them for something far more interesting: Fantasy baseball.

I actually started the idea when I was first learning how to use the pivot tables and other functions; practicing on my baseball league's statistics was just giving me something interesting to look at as I learned how to utilize Excel better. But from that, and with a couple of tips from friends in similar fields, I created an extensive file that tracks everyone in my fantasy league's numbers - by day, week, month... however I want to see it. What's particularly interesting in our league is that we have a cap of 1,250 innings pitched - meaning that it's not about what stats you can compile, but what stats you can compile on average per inning pitched. [Note: We play in a typical 5x5 league - R/HR/RBI/SB/Avg & W/S/K/ERA/WHIP.] This means that you don't want to be leading the league in strikeouts; you want to be leading in K rate (strikeouts/per IP). You also want to make sure you hit all your innings, or even the best rate might not get you the best score for that category (14).

In the end, pitching statistics are very easy to quantify, calculate, and predict - as wins are predominantly (but not always!) a "luck" statistic, and ERA can be fluky, an owner wants to focus on pitchers with a low WHIP, high K rate, and have about 3 closers. Hitting statistics are a little harder; while average is generally easier to measure, most of the other statistics are not - and without an average to work into with no cap except 162 games played, it is simply a matter of compiling the most stats per game played without messing up. It is partially for this reason that my friend Rea (the commissioner of the league who is getting married in a week) and I have a debate over what makes the most sense - to draft more pitchers or hitters early on. He feels that as it's easier to analyze the pitching numbers, and there are usually more "finds" on the free agent market during the year, a person should draft hitting and get pitching later on. I feel that drafting what you know makes more sense, and then after gathering a big lead in those categories, trading some of it away for hitting.

Interestingly, both have worked, though admittedly both of us ended up taking a somewhat balanced approach thanks to how the draft was already going. As of this moment, first place in the league has 112 points; second place is 103; and Rea is at 100, while I am at 99. (Note: A few days ago we were all within three points of one another between 104 and 107.)

While my Excel file is still limited in terms of projections (I lazily set it up to simply calculate what a person's statistics will be based on a 162-game season; for hitting stats, it divides by games played and multiplies by 162, while pitching it takes the person's /IP rates and extrapolates them over 1,250 IP, but only if they'll hit their innings - it adjusts for people who are low on innings by using the 162-game formula based on their /IP rates.), it's fascinating in terms of looking at the past and seeing trends. For instance, despite injuries to Carmona and Young, my pitching still had the best win rate in the league; trading Bedard and Cliff Lee for CC Sabathia and Fuentes helped me have the best K rate; and my Saves rate was second by a slim margin. Meanwhile, the added flexibility of holding extra hitters and subbing in based on matchups let me lead the league in Runs, HRs, and RBIs - and by a large margin over the league leaders, some of whom have traded hitting for pitching recently.

At this point, I'm actually pretty happy with my team and think that I can ride it to a nice finish. The only moves I'd like to make are possibly picking up a fourth closer; consolidating good players into better ones, though most people aren't interested at this point; and if I need to pick up innings, finding another starter, though I doubt I'll need to do that (especially if I can get another closer). The only statistic I'm "low" in is SBs, but I'm pretty much accepting of a 5 in that category, barring a truly worthwhile trade that nets me some more. It does devalue a couple of my own players somewhat, but they're still worth more than what I could get back for them. Here's my current roster, though some of the hitters are merely pickups for a short time while hot/for matchups:

C Russell Martin
1B James Loney
2B Kelly Johnson
SS Hanley Ramirez
3B Mark Reynolds
OF Cory Hart
OF Brad Hawpe
OF Aaron Rowand
UT 1B-3B Jorge Cantu
UT 2B Alexei Casilla
Bench OF Jack Cust
Bench OF Ben Francisco
Bench OF Luke Scott
Bench 3B Brian Buscher
Bench 1B-2B-OF Jeff Baker
SP C.C. Sabathia
SP Chris Young - DL
SP Fausto Carmona - DL
SP James Shields
CL Francisco Cordero
CL Brian Fuentes
CL Brad Lidge
RP Masa Koboyashi
RP Heath Bell

At just past the halfway mark, my average has slipped this past week to .278, with 440 R, 109 HR, 421 RBI, and 56 SB. Note that I had .275/167/52/157/16 in June, so the hitting is clearly improved (trading Dana Eveland and Hank Blalock for Mark Reynolds helped). My ERA is steady despite Fuentes blowing up last night, holding at 3.36 with a 1.25 WHIP; I have 47 wins and 46 saves with 540 strikeouts in 651-1/3 innings. It's safe to say that about 110 points is what someone needs to shoot for to win the league; I'm 19 runs, 5 RBIs, and a few batting points from having 109. It's safe to project pitching points of 14 (W), 9+ (S), 10+ (K), 12+ (ERA), and 12+ (WHIP) at this point for 57+ (possibly more) pitching points; that means I'd need 53 hitting points or so. With a 5 in SBs, I need to average about a 12 in the other four categories - I currently have 9 (R), 10 (HR), 9 (RBI), and 9.5 (Avg).

Curious if anyone made it far enough and can still follow enough of it to have any comments. :)

[+/-]

Curious Evolution

This is not a "science and Torah" blog, and I'm really not interested in a larger discussion about what is true and what isn't, etc. I noticed this post at BeyondBT, and it made me curious as to what the average Orthodox Jew thinks about the subject. Here was the post:

I have a work associate who seems interested in Torah, but he likes to challenge me about contradictions between Torah and science and other things. He recently asked me about the Torahs views on Evolution.

On the one hand, I could say that that I don’t believe in evolution and there are many holes in evolution theory and that scientists are biased against a belief in G-d. On the other hand, many secular Jews accept the scientific consensus that evolution did take place, and I could make the case that a G-d directed evolution would not necessarily contradict the Torah.

My Rav holds that you don’t have to take a 6,000 year creation literally.

What approach makes more sense when dealing with non observant Jews?

- Jack

My response in the comments, after the more esteemed comments from scientists such as Charlie Hall and Zach Kessin, was

From a simpleton’s POV… if your Rav has said that you need not hold to a literalistic interpretation, what positive would be gleaned by choosing against evolution? I would think that the only reason a person would say evolution does not happen is because they feel it is against the Torah; with that not an issue, there seems to be no reason to do so.

I then wondered what most people in the frum world think. Do most people not care? Do they not care, but if asked, they'd say evolution did not happen and/or does not exist? Would they not care but say it did and/or does? Would they care?

A few personal experiences have led me to believe that most people don't care... but if it comes up, they're harshly against evolution simply because they've been brought up with an extremely literalistic interpretation of things. The more they care about the subject, the more they seem to believe that things aren't quite that simple. There are exceptions - some people care deeply and still are strongly against the idea; others care almost not at all but take it as a given that evolution does and did happen. I'm just curious what y'all think.

200	5 (15%)
1000	8 (24%)
2200	11 (33%)
5100	9 (27%)

15,000	3 (10%)
23,000	6 (20%)
32,000	8 (27%)
45,000	12 (41%)

Both better	1 (3%)
Both worse	6 (19%)
Equally well for both	0 (0%)
Juggling better, reading worse	13 (41%)
Juggling worse, reading better	11 (35

The blue jar.	9 (12%)
The red jar.	20 (28%)
3yr old: Blue jar. 6yr old: Red jar.	29 (40%)
3yr old: Red jar. 6yr old: Blue jar.	13 (18%

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Which of these substances is not physically addictive?